“Where’s here?” Sophie blinked to get a better view of the bulldozers, cranes and one of the partially erected buildings. Some sort of strip mall by the looks of it. Apparently, even the most remote areas of the world couldn’t escape progress.
“A small town south of Florence.”
“Looks like they’re trying to expand.”
“You could say that.” Max’s features tightened. He turned down another country road where olive groves lined each side of the street.
Within seconds Sophie saw the sign:
St. Mary’s Orphanage.
Then the large two-story building with its stone fence came into view. Only a few colorful flowers in the front brightened the light gray building. Even though dusk had begun to settle over the area, Sophie didn’t think the gloom-and-doom atmosphere would be any better in the sunlight.
“I don’t understand.” Sophie puzzled risking a look at Max. He sat stone-faced staring toward the building.
Max pulled onto the edge of the driveway, but didn’t drive up the long path. “This is where I grew up.”
“You were an … orphan?” Sophie’s heart constricted for the lonely child Max must have been. Something horrible must have happened to his parents for him to end up in an orphanage.
“Yes.” A muscle twitched in his jaw.
“Oh...Max. I didn’t know. I’m–”
“I don’t want your pity!” Irritation flashed across his tanned face. “I got over it a long time ago. I just thought you needed to know where I came from. For Alex.”
Sophie arched a brow. For someone who’d gotten over it, he sure was testy. She immediately stamped out the thought. Of course he was upset; who wouldn’t be?
“What happened? Did you ever know your parents?” she asked gently.
“No. According to the nuns, my mother dropped me off when I was two. They never knew who my dad was and I never saw my mother again.” A muscle in his jaw twitched. “I don’t even remember her.”
“I’m sure she had a good reason for leaving you.”
“Yes. She didn’t love me,” Max said flatly. “And she didn’t want me.”
“I’m sure that’s not true!” Sophie cried. Surely that wasn’t the case. Her heart twisted at the thought of his mother deliberately abandoning him. “Maybe she was in trouble. Maybe she thought you’d have a chance at a better life without her. There could be any number of reasons why she felt she couldn’t take care of you, Max. I’m sure she loved you very much.”
“If she loved me, she’d have come back for me.”
Tears pricked the back of Sophie’s eyes at the pain in his voice. No. He most certainly hadn’t gotten over it. The rejection must have left a permanent scar in his heart. How could anyone do that to their child? She couldn’t imagine leaving Alex and never coming back. The thought was too painful to even contemplate. There must have been a good reason. Something that couldn’t be helped.
“Did you ever try to look for her? After you grew up, I mean?”
“Why? So she could reject me all over again.” He laughed harshly. “Not hardly. Besides, I couldn’t have if I wanted to. The nuns didn’t know who she was. She told them my first name, said she couldn’t take care of me and left. Not much to go on from that. The nuns just gave me a last name. I don’t have any idea who I really am.”
“What about adoption or foster homes?” There was an emotional lump in her throat that made her voice thick. She still couldn’t wrap her mind around someone abandoning their child. Not without a damn good reason anyway.
“No. Apparently I was unadoptable.” Max clenched his jaw. “I was sent to a couple of foster homes, but they didn’t work out. I ended up living here until I was eighteen. So this is it. The story of my life – and this is home sweet home.” Max gripped the steering wheel.
The pain in his eyes was almost too much for Sophie to bear. She wanted to comfort him, but had no idea what to say. He must have been miserable as a child. Not knowing where he belonged or who his real family was. As much as she hated her father, she at least knew her roots.
“I thought orphanages were obsolete now with everyone switching over to children’s homes.”
“Most of them are. There are only a handful left that haven‘t been shut down. St. Mary’s is one of the few that are still operational.”
Sophie looked at the dreary building and wondered how many children were now living in the home wishing for a family of their own. She blinked back the tears. How many more children were going to be emotionally scarred like Max from being rejected at such a tender age? It was inconceivable.
“Do you want to go in?”
Max shook his head. “I didn’t come here for that. I just wanted you to understand why I’m not sure I can be the father Alex needs. I never had one.” He backed out of the driveway and turned down the road. “What if I make a mistake with him?”
“Max, being a parent doesn’t mean you won’t make a mistake.” She bit the inside of her lip. “I certainly have. The first one was when I didn’t tell you I was pregnant.” Heat rushed to her cheeks. “I was ashamed of the way I’d behaved. Having a one-night stand with a stranger is completely out of character for me. After my mother’s–” Sophie squeezed her eyes shut, not wanting to say the words but knowing she needed to. “After my mother’s suicide, I guess I just lost it for a while. Then after I found out I was pregnant I didn’t know what to do, so I made the decision to have Alex and raise him alone. I know now that was a mistake. I should have told you. Given you the chance to be a part of his life if you wanted to. It wasn’t fair to you or to Alex. I see that now.”
Max reached over and took her hand. “I didn’t realize your mother’s death was a suicide. I can’t even imagine what you were going through, but I do understand why you didn’t tell me about Alex. The important thing is that I know now.” He slowed the car down, pulled over to the side of the road out of the view of the traffic and killed the engine. For a moment he didn’t move. Sophie could almost hear the beat of his heart against his chest as the silence in the car stretched on. Then, Max drew an unsteady breath and shifted in his seat to look at her. He squeezed her hand. “I won’t pretend to have all this figured out, but I’d like us to start over. I don’t just want to be a part of Alex’s life. I want to be a part of yours too if you’ll have me.”
Shock jolted through Sophie’s body. “W–what are you saying?” Was this a proposal?
Max breathed a heavy sigh. “I’m not sure exactly. I’ve never…” He swallowed hard. “I won’t lie to you. I’m not the marrying kind. I can’t give you that. I wish I could, but I can’t. I’m not good with long-term commitments.” She felt the slight tremor in his hand as he held hers tight. “I can only promise to be here for as long as you want me.”
Sophie blinked. Not exactly a marriage proposal, but certainly a step up from his earlier grand offer of
take or leave it.
Which, of course, she had taken and regretted.
Fear prickled beneath her skin.
So if I take this one will I regret it too?
Most likely, she realized, but she might regret it
more
if she didn’t. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out she was falling for Max. The question was would she come out of this unscathed if things went south?
Her thoughts must have been transparent because Max said quietly, “I’m not just talking about sex, Sophie. Of course, that’s part of it. Making love to you is unbelievable. I’m talking about something more stable.” He brushed a thumb absently across her knuckles. A thrill of pleasure zipped through her. Then Max set his chin. “I want an arrangement we can both be comfortable with. I care about you and I want to be with you. Both of you. I believe you care for me too.” His gaze settled on her. “Am I right?”
Sophie’s eyes widened at his bold question. Of course he was right, but should she admit it? Or should she pretend not to know what he was talking about.
“Sophie?” Max hesitated after a taut silence. He took his hand from hers and pushed back a strand of hair from her eyes.
She inhaled sharply and nodded. “I do care about you, Max. More than I’d like to admit.”
Relief washed over him briefly then it was gone. The corners of his mouth turned up in a rueful smile. “I wish I could offer you more, but I can’t. Marriage isn’t for me. It never will be. But I’m offering you the closest thing to marriage I can give. What do you say? Should we give this a chance?”
Should she risk it? Take what he was offering and see where it took them? Could she trust him enough to put her and Alex first? Or would he always place business over them like her father had?
Sophie’s pulse beat against her throat. She wanted to believe him. Believe she could trust him, but doubt niggled at her. If he truly cared about them and wanted a relationship, why couldn’t he go the distance and make a real commitment so they could give Alex the family stability he needed? The family
she
needed. Was it because deep down Max knew he wouldn’t be there in the long run?
Sophie knew what her head told her do, but her heart had a whole different agenda, and she’d always heard it was best to listen to the heart. Still, if she agreed to this, then there had to be some ground rules. She couldn’t enter into any type of relationship with him with blinders on. Heart or not, she had to have some kind of assurance that he was serious about them.
Sophie lifted her chin to look him square in the eye. “First, what happens to Alex if this doesn’t work out between us?
“I don’t see that happening,” Max stated smoothly. “We can make this work if we want too. But, if for some reason it doesn’t, then we’ll have to be adults and do what is best for our son. He won’t get hurt. That I can promise. I’ll be there for him no matter what.”
So far so good. She could deal with that.
Now for the deal breaker.
“If we do this, then you have to promise me you will put us first. I don’t want Alex growing up like I did. With a father who disappoints him over and over again by putting his business before his child. If you promise him something, then you have to follow through. No exceptions.” She stared at him pointedly. “I mean it, Max. No exceptions.”
Max’s features tightened. “I told you before I keep the promises I make and I don’t make promises I can’t keep.” His knuckles brushed across her cheek. “I’m not your father, Sophie. I won’t disappoint you or Alex. Not if I can help it anyway.”
Sophie searched his face for even the smallest hint of uncertainty. All she could find was sincerity.
His offer might not be the one she wanted, but it was a step in the right direction. She’d promised herself she’d give him a real chance to prove he wasn’t ruthless and callous like she once believed. It was time to man up – or rather woman up – to that promise.
Sophie flashed him an uncertain smile. “I think I can live with that.”
“Thank God,” he growled before slipping his hand behind her neck and gently tugging her toward him. “I want you, Sophie. Don’t ever doubt that.” His mouth covered hers with a hard kiss. Something stirred inside sending a rush of heat to her core. Sophie met his kiss with a pent up fervor of her own, deepening it until they were both moaning with pleasure. Somehow her arms found their way around him and she clung to the sheer male hardness of his torso. Her heart pulsed against her chest matching the accelerated thump of his beat for beat. The feeling of coming home engulfed her. Maybe her heart was right. This was where she belonged.
Several pants and a few moments later Max broke the kiss. “We’d better get back before Alex wakes up.”
A tingle of satisfaction settled in her stomach at the obvious regret in his voice. He apparently didn’t want to end their impromptu make-out session any more than she did.
Not trusting her voice, Sophie nodded. She felt as if she’d been on a three-day high and was now experiencing a withdrawal as Max placed another quick kiss on her lips and shifted back to his seat. Her body begged for more even as her mind agreed with him.
Max started the ignition. “Don’t worry,
cara
, “he whispered seductively. “That was only the beginning. Tonight, I’ll show you exactly how much I care.”
Another electrifying thrill rushed through her at his silky promise. She settled back against her seat and silently cheered nightfall on. Tonight she might just let go of all her doubts and show Max a thing or two of her own. After all, a girl has needs too.
* * *
Max hummed to himself as he picked up a bottle of his special wine and two glasses from the wet bar in the parlor. He started up the stairs toward Sophie’s room.
“Can I get you anything else before I retire for the evening, sir?” Vincenzo appeared at the bottom of the stairwell.
“No,
grazie,
Vincenzo. You’re free for the rest of the night.”
“Very good, sir.” Vincenzo turned to leave then hesitated. “Sir?”
Max paused on the stairway. “Yes?”
“Well, I know it’s not my place, sir, but I just wanted to say it is nice to see you so content. I think Ms. Sophie and Alex have been good for you.”
Max couldn’t help but grin. He thought so too. “Is that what you think, Vincenzo?”
“Oh, yes sir,” Vincenzo rushed to say, the crinkles around his eyes deepening. “Ms. Sophie is a fine lady. I’m just pleased to see how happy she’s made you. Everyone needs someone to love, sir.” A deep flush crept up Vincenzo’s tanned face. “Luisa and I are just glad you found Ms. Sophie. You deserve to be happy, and we’ll be glad to see her and the young one come back again.”
Surprised by the older man’s sincerity, Max replied. “Thank you, Vincenzo.”
Max continued up the stairs, wondering if his feelings for Sophie were really so obvious. The problem was, he wasn’t quite sure what those feelings were himself. He desired her, no doubt there. He cared about her, most definitely. But love? He wasn’t really capable of loving anyone. Was he?
Max knocked on Sophie’s bedroom door. It was ajar, but he couldn’t see her in the moonlit room.
“Come in.” Her voice came from the adjoining bathroom.
He pushed the door open with his knee while holding the wine and the two glasses then stepped inside. Placing the glasses on the nightstand beside her bed, he poured them both a drink.