CADEnce (Deception Book 2) (26 page)

I knew she was asking me if Kenny showed me and I needed her to know I had seen her at her worst and still loved her with the same passion and ache as I always had. “You said in your message, ‘I know that thread is broken now,’ but with us it’s never broken. It may have frayed for a short time but it can never be broken
.
I know what he did to you and I know he stole your memory and fed you a lie.
”
Her pale face showed her shame as her eyes lowered but I placed my finger under her chin and tilted her head back until her eyes were where they belonged—on me. “Don’t you ever be ashamed of what happened. You were a victim, Faye. Men like Dante have an ability to turn your body against you.” I knew that was what was eating away at her and it was almost choking me to think and say it but she enjoyed some of the acts before she knew the truth and it was only natural for her body to react. I wanted to scrub my eyes with bleach and my memory of the images of it all but I couldn’t punish her any more than she was punishing herself.

“I’m so ashamed,” she choked out, her tiny shudders shaking the foundations of my heart. I wanted to fix her and take it all away but I was out of my depth.

I pulled her fragile body into mine, resting her head against my chest, my chin sitting gently on her head as my arms encompassed her in my shelter. Her tears soaked into my shirt. I just wished I could cleanse her of the consuming pain.

“Can you ever love me again, Cade?”

Oh fuck, I was dying from her pain.

“Do you know what I see and feel when I look at you?” She brought her hands up to wipe the tears covering her face and shook her head, her brows pinching together. “Boundless beauty.” I swiped as more tears trickled down her blotchy face. “Astonishing strength.” I stroked her hair back. “An enveloping need in my chest to touch you, share your air, your life, your love.” I stared into her searching eyes. “I see a divine ecstasy that only you bring me.” I placed a soft and fleeting kiss to her lips. “I see my future.”

“I’m sorry to intrude.” Amy’s voice came into the room, breaking us from our moment. Amy moved across the room and launched herself into me and Faye. “You didn’t call! You said you would when you had her safe.”

Fuck, what a douche. I should have remembered Amy was waiting on news.

“I was going out of my mind!”

Faye flinched and pulled away from us both. “I’m sorry, Amy, my mind was all over the place and Faye needed medical attention.”

She turned to survey Faye. “Are you okay?” Her tone dropped to soothing as her eyes roamed every inch of Faye’s bruised and broken body.

“Just glad to be home,” Faye replied and smiled over at me. I stilled, savoring her goddamned stunning smile. “I need to sleep if that’s okay?” she murmured.

“Oh, God, sure. I’m sorry, I was just so worried.”

I gripped Amy’s shoulder and led her out of the room calling out, “Go lay down, Faye. I’ll fix some food and bring it up for when you wake up.” I didn’t have a clue how to cook but Amy could make herself useful.

“Okay, thank you.”

BLOOD EVERYWHERE, EACH BRUTAL PLUNDER and squelch of the piece of mirror I had caused to smash pushing into the flesh of a man who was there to save me. He had told me not to play Frank and I ignored him, and got him killed.

Dante was like a possessed demon, showered in the blood of his once good friend. I would never get those images out of my mind.

I brought my hand up to the cut on my neck. I could have died, our blood swirling together. I had made it, though. What Dante had done to all of us affected and changed us forever. Alex may never be able to practice again. Blue may never birth children. Jenson was a killer, and Cade witnessed someone who he once loved die at his own hand.

I couldn’t close my eyes without hearing the final gunshot, the sound forever ricocheting around my head. It was over but it wasn’t. It lived inside me, haunting me. It was sickening watching the life leave someone. Our scars would heal though, I was with Cade and he still cared about me.

His beautiful words echoed inside my chest, creating a new beat. He knew how to reawaken me. He was always the one I was supposed to love because his love for me was astonishing, intense and unwavering. It was all around me, empowering and soul consuming.

I had given up at low points, imprisoned by Dante’s hate. He broke my sprit but Cade knew how to heal me with just words and his embrace. I was heartbroken and Cade knew how to mend my heart with one brief kiss. My mind would take longer; Malik’s shocked face as Dante struck stole my breath every time it flooded my thoughts. I couldn’t control them, they took my thoughts hostage. I wanted to sleep it all away. Time would heal everything, the doctor said with a pat on the knee. I needed time to pass and for me to be healed of this guilt and regret.

I was clean from a shower but still felt dirty. The sticky, hot blood stained me. I wished this was all a dream. It felt like I had fallen asleep and woken up in a role of one of my characters.

I lay there for an hour and decided I couldn’t take the sweet aromas filling the air any longer; my stomach was eating itself.

I made my way towards the delicious smells and voices of Amy and Cade. Music was playing from an iPod and Amy was miming the lyrics to a Beneath Innocence song. They looked so at home together in the kitchen cooking. I couldn’t blame him for seeking comfort in her. I had been fucking his brother, I couldn’t really condemn him for needing someone, but the pain still stung worse than any other.

The doorbell rang causing both of them to lift their heads from the preparation they were concentrating on. Cade grinned at her and she slapped his shoulder playfully, rolling her eyes. God, I felt like an intruder, looking in at a happy couple playing house. She was so freaking nice too. Always helpful, and so lovely and attentive to me. How could she be that way if she had feelings for him? I wanted to attack her with nails, rake her hair out and gain back what was mine but she acted so fond of me. Was it an act?

Damn, I was so paranoid, lost in my mind. I hadn’t even noticed she had opened the kitchen door wide and I was exposed to them both. She was now two centimeters from me, smiling up at me like a housewife from the 50s. Her hand came up to my face, making me flinch back.

Her pretty pink lips popped open. “I’m sorry, you have a stray strand.” She reached forward again and this time I let her and smiled my thanks, although I didn’t mean it.

The doorbell rang again and Cade whipped her ass with a tea towel, making her squeal and rush for the door. His gaze lingered on mine as I watched her disappear.

“What are you thinking?” he asked, coming into my space. The hint of strawberries from his breath enticed me to move closer. I looked over his shoulder and saw he was slicing strawberries.

“I get it,” I said boldly.

His lips lifted into a smile. He was gorgeous. How did I ever win his attention? “Get what, baby?”

“Amy.”

He shook his head in confusion then nodded when he understood me. “Oh right, yeah. She tries to be respectful of your boundaries but there is something there and it’s hard to fight.” I felt my face drop, and with it what was left of my damaged heart. Ice washed through me, freezing over my soul. His huge palms gripped my face. “Faye, she would never do anything. You look ill.”

“I . . . can’t . . .”

He chuckled but it was a nervous one. “Babe, she has a girlfriend and she’s not all of a sudden going to jump you. She’s always had a thing for you. Damn, most of the world has. I didn’t think it would make you that uncomfortable.”
Wait. What?

“Hey, you two, sorry to interrupt. This is Michelle, my girlfriend.”

Holy shit! Knock me down with a feather.

I reached out to shake the blonde woman’s hand as she bit her lip and jittered in front of me. “I’m a huge fan.” She giggled, “Amy refused to bring me over so many times because she was worried I would fan girl on you.”

My mouth was wide open, my eyes as wide and round, but no matter how much I tried to pull back my surprise, I couldn’t.

“Are you okay?” she asked, concerned as she looked over the imperfections on my face; the bruises and cuts from Frank.

I snapped my mouth closed. “Oh, I. . . .”

“She just came from set, it’s make-up. Now stop being nosey and let’s go,” Amy said. I gave her a small thank you smile. “I’m sorry, we have a dinner date and then I rushed over and . . .”

“It’s fine, Amy. Michelle is welcome here with you anytime,” Cade told her.

We waved them goodnight. Cade burst into a full out belly laugh.

“You son of a bitch!” I slapped his shoulder. “All this time you let me think she had a thing for you!” I screeched.

“I like you being jealous, it’s a turn on,” He smirked but then tensed and frowned. “I’m sorry I shouldn’t.”

He was afraid sex would be a topic that made me freeze and withdraw but he was so wrong. I didn’t feel like a rape victim. In that moment, I felt like a survivor. We had been through so much, done so much. We were accessories to murder now. News spread about Dante’s suspected death in the fire and the media had been stalking both mine and Cade’s houses. I didn’t want the life he stole me from anymore. I wanted a new one.

“I want to paint,” I announced, taking Cade by surprise.

“Okay.” He nodded encouragingly. “I have some of your equipment in one of the spare rooms.”

I giggled and shook my head. “I mean, as my job. My full time job.”

Placing his hands on my shoulders he looked deep in my eyes, searching them before his lips lifted into a breathtaking smile. “I want that too.”

He meant our dream. The one we planned to have before all this. We would buy somewhere remote and far from the spotlight.

I returned his smile, its intensity making my jaw ache when it turned into a huge grin and I struggled to hold back the happy tears threatening to spill. Enough tears had been cried for many lifetimes and now was the time for food. “Feed me!”

He chuckled and pulled me into the kitchen.

IT HAD BEEN EIGHT WEEKS since escaping Dante. My poor agent who I had promoted before I went back to him was looking at me like I had grown two heads. “You want me to cancel all contracts?”