Business Without the Bullsh*t: 49 Secrets and Shortcuts You Need to Know (3 page)

Regardless of the type of boss you’re working with, they all want and need the same things. Unfortunately, bosses are not always all that good at articulating these needs, which is why I list them here—so you know what’s expected.

Your boss wants to trust you. Really. Your boss wants to trust you to get your job done, so everyone else (including the boss) doesn’t get left in the lurch. That trust, however, is possible only if you keep your promises.

Therefore, whenever you accept an assignment, follow through religiously, even fanatically. Do what you say you’re going to do. Never over-commit, and avoid hedging your bets with vague statements like “I’ll try” and “Maybe.”

More than anything else, you want your boss to see you as reliable. When you make your word carry real weight, you lighten the load of worry upon your boss’s shoulders, making his or her job much easier.

What keeps every boss awake at night is the secret fear that employees are screwing up but aren’t saying anything about it, hoping that the disaster will go away before it becomes a train wreck.

Even if you’re afraid some bad news might upset your boss, don’t wait until the last minute to deliver it. (Note, though, as explained below, your report of a problem should always include your best attempt at a solution.)

This rule is essential when you’ve got the kind of boss who consistently “shoots the messenger” when surprised with bad news. To avoid “being shot,” give your boss constant updates on your projects before they metastasize into huge problems.

Your boss doesn’t expect you to be perfect, but bosses appreciate employees who truly care about what they do and are willing to take the time to do a job well and thoroughly.

Very few things irritate bosses more than employees who affect a flippant attitude toward work. Having a sense of humor about the problems you encounter is a good thing; making snarky remarks is not.

Bosses are particularly annoyed by employees who treat work as an extension of their personal lives. I recently heard a story about an intern who thought it was appropriate to bring her boyfriend into the office to sit and talk with her as she worked. Ouch!

When your boss needs to make a decision, he or she depends on you to provide advice and perspective, especially in areas that are in your particular bailiwick. Indeed, providing such advice is the best way for you to ensure that the best decision is made.

When you see your boss about to make a foolish decision, it’s also your responsibility to attempt to convince him or her to make a better one. Make your best case, and express yourself clearly.

However, once your boss has made a decision, stop second-guessing and do your best to implement it—regardless of whether you think that decision was the best one possible. After all, maybe your boss knows more than you do.

Nothing is more irritating (or more boring) to a boss than listening to somebody kvetch about things that either they’re not willing to change or are outside the boss’s ability to change.

As a general rule, never bring up a problem unless you have a solution to propose or are asking for the boss’s advice. If the latter, take your boss’s advice without adding a “Yeah, but…” argument.

If you’re proposing a solution, your boss would far prefer that the solution be something
you
plan on doing, rather than something you’d like the boss to do for you. Bosses hate it when employees “upwardly delegate.”

Bosses have neither the time nor the inclination to wade through piles of biz-blab, jargon, and weasel words. This is true even when bosses are themselves unable to communicate without using these verbal crutches.

When dealing with your boss, speak and write in short sentences, use the fewest words possible to make a point, and make that point easily understandable. (See “Secret 29. Five Rules for Business Communication.”)

When you communicate clearly, you not only make your boss’s job easier, you make it easier for your boss to communicate what you’re doing (and why) to other powers that be, such as the CEO.

Bosses expect you to do your absolute best at whatever job you undertake. They expect you to overcome obstacles and difficulties that would prevent most people from succeeding at your job.

Fortunately, it’s very much in your own interest to excel at your job, because scuttlebutt travels so quickly. In today’s hyper-connected business world, everyone inside your company (and outside too) will eventually find out whether you do your job well.

In the same way that the quality of a product creates that product’s brand image, the quality of your work creates your reputation. More important, that reputation—immortalized on the Web—now follows you around forever.

Regardless of what it says on your job description,
your real job is to make your boss successful
. It doesn’t matter what type of boss you’re working for, rest assured that there are
no
exceptions to this rule.

Now that you know what your boss expects of you, let’s examine how to put your boss to work for you by moving your career forward and looking out for your interests. Here’s how:

Sometime during your first conversations with your boss (and ideally before you agree to work for that boss), explain to that boss what kind of management style works best for you, personally.

Deciding what works for you requires some self-reflection. If you’ve been in the workplace for a while, you may have been exposed to different management styles. If so, recall what management behaviors got your best work from you.

If you’re starting out in business, draw from your educational experience. Which of your teachers really inspired you and why? Which of them were difficult to learn from?

Another way to understand your preferences in this area is to ask yourself some questions:

Your goal is to discover enough about yourself and what you need that you can articulate clearly how you can best be managed. If you don’t, you’ll inevitably receive whatever one-size-fits-all management style your boss finds most familiar.

The best time to communicate your preferences is during your first meeting with your boss. If you’re already working for a boss, the best time is your next one-on-one meeting. Don’t put it off! The clearer you communicate what you need, the better the relationship you’ll have, to the ultimate benefit of both you and your boss.

Most bosses live in constant fear they’ll be blindsided by incompetence. To reassure themselves, bosses often pick an aspect of an employee’s job and begin randomly asking questions about the details.

If you think this means you’re on trial when this happens to you, it’s because you are. Answer these queries with grace and aplomb and your boss will assume you’re competent. Hesitate or evade and your boss will assume all your work is slipshod.

Since you don’t know in advance which questions your boss might ask, be prepared for every contingency. Plan on about an hour of prep for every hour with your direct boss, two hours for every hour with your boss’s boss, and so forth up the management chain.

Even the best bosses tend to forget things. They usually have plenty on their minds and may not even know what you’re working on, much less what a fabulous job you’re doing.

Worst case, this failure to communicate could result in you achieving goals and objectives that are no longer the boss’s priorities. If that happens, all your hard work will likely be seen as wasted efforts rather than accomplishments.

To prevent this, create a “core message” that lets the boss know what you’re doing, and work that message into every conversation, even if it’s only a hallway chat.

“The recruiting program I set up is putting us in touch with some very qualified candidates.”

“We just ran my power-management module through an entire suite of accuracy and stress tests.”

“My negotiation with Acme Corp. is taking a while, but I think I’ll be able to get the favorable terms we wanted.”

You may
think
you have a one-on-one relationship with your boss, but you’re actually part of a crowd of people—from your peers to your customers to those who influence the boss’s decision-making.

When it comes to evaluating your performance, your boss listens to the opinions of others in the company. Therefore, it’s not enough to simply inform your boss what you’re doing. If you want to advance your career and your personal agenda, you must ensure that the other people spread the word.

Create a list of people who influence your boss and compose a variation of your core message for each of them.

For example, suppose you’re in a marketing group working on the development of sales channels (people who don’t work for your company but who sell your product). Your messages might be: