“You’re okay,” Ginny says, patting me harder. “You’re okay.”
I nod, trying to embrace her words even though even inch of my body aches. The coughing subsides, but shivers instantly take their place, and I know they have no intention of stopping. At least not as long as I’m soaking wet.
“F-fire,” I manage to get out, turning to look around. Praying a lighter or matches magically materialize.
“We’re still missin’ some people,” Axl says.
My gaze moves from Axl to Ginny, then over to Angus and Dax and Jim, finally stopping on Joshua. No Lila. No Al. No Parvarti.
“No,” I moan, hating how beaten and pathetic I sound.
12
“THEY COULD STILL be alive,” Ginny says as she helps me to my feet. “Maybe they got out of the river sooner, or maybe they were washed farther down.”
“Parvarti was with you when I jumped,” I say, turning my attention to Jim. “Did you see what happened to her?”
“All I saw was water,” Jim says. “I’m not even positive she jumped.”
I shove wet hair out of my eyes and turn to face the river like she’ll show up at any second. “There’s a chance she didn’t even make it off the bridge, then.”
“The bastards had us surrounded,” Axl says.
“But Al and Lila jumped well before us, and there’s no reason to assume they drowned!” Ginny throws her hands up in frustration.
“Nice to see your boyfriend dyin’ didn’t destroy your optimism,” Angus says, his voice low. “Face it: they’re dead.”
Ginny’s green eyes snap his way, and she takes a step toward him, her hands balled into fists at her sides. “My husband,” she hisses. “My husband died. Can’t you stop being a bastard for one day at least?”
“Lookie here, Hollywood,” Angus says, staggering toward her. “I ain’t bein’ a bastard just ‘cause I’m willin’ to accept the truth while the rest of you walk ‘round with your heads up your asses. We lost most of our shit and most of the people we had with us, and the last thing that’s gonna help get us to Atlanta is holdin’ onto hope that don’t exist. Al’s dead and so is the little piece of ass that’s been followin’ him ‘round last few months. Does it suck? Fuck yeah. But it’s the truth, and there’s no point in focusin’ on that when we got a whole lotta other shit to keep us occupied.”
“Fuck you, Angus!” Ginny snaps, stepping closer. Her lips quivering. She grabs his shirt and uses it to pull herself closer, closing the distance between them as tears stream down her cheeks. “Just because you’ve never loved anyone but yourself doesn’t mean the rest of us are weak or stupid for caring!”
“See, that’s where you’re wrong
Holl-y-wood
,” Angus says, narrowing his eyes on her face as he drags the nickname out. It’s like he’s using it as a weapon, and by the way Ginny winces, I can tell it worked. “I ain’t never loved myself. Never thought I was worth much. But now I know that ain’t true, and I’m gonna do what I gotta do to get my ass to Atlanta.”
Ginny’s fist tightens on the fabric of Angus’s shirt. “So what? Just because you’re immune the rest of us are disposable. You going to throw us in front of a horde if it comes down to it?”
Angus doesn’t blink. “I’m gonna do what it takes.”
Ginny’s face scrunches up, and without warning, her hand lashes out. The crack of her palm making contact with Angus’s cheek echoes through the silence, sounding even louder than the water rushing by us.
“You’re a selfish prick!” Ginny says. “Even when you’re trying to do the right thing, you’re wrong.”
“Ginny,” I say, trying to pull her back.
Angus waves me off, still staring at Ginny. “No, Blondie, you let her have her say.”
“Jon was worth a million of you. All he thought about was others. Of making up for the mistakes he’d made that were totally out of his control. Compared to him, you’re nothing but a speck of dirt on the sole of my shoe.”
Tears stream down Ginny’s face, and her shoulders shake with silent sobs. Her fist tightens until it looks like she’s trying to tear Angus’s shirt from his body. They stare at each of other for a few seconds, and then all at once, Ginny’s expression changes from anger to anguish. Right in front of our faces Ginny crumbles, and without a word, Angus wraps his arms around her. He pulls her against him, hugging her while the rest of us stand there in total silence, surrounded by nothing but the rush of the river and the rustling of the trees, and the utter devastation of Ginny’s sobs.
“What’s the plan?” Angus asks, not letting Ginny go. His hand moves up and down her back so slowly that it reminds me of a mother trying to soothe a child. Of my mother and what Angus lost.
I sink into Axl when my stomach tightens.
Jim shakes his head as he scans the surrounding trees. “We need to follow the river, figure out where we are.”
“We gotta get dry,” Axl says, putting his arm around me.
“In case you hadn’t noticed,” Dax snaps, turning his blue eyes on Axl. “We’re a little short on supplies. Unless you can figure out a way to start a fire in the middle of the woods, we’re shit out of luck.”
That’s when I remember the book Al found. How he went back and got extra copies. How he gave me one for my pack, along with a bag full of stuff that also could help.
“Al,” I mutter, pulling away from Axl so I can take off my backpack. “Damn kid was a zombie freak. It saved his ass, and ours more than once. Looks like it’s going to help us again.”
“What you got?” Angus asks, and even Ginny’s sobs stop long enough for her to look my way.
“That book,” I say, pulling the Ziploc bag from my pack. I rip the book out and hold it up for everyone to see. It may be dark, but the moon is just bright enough that they’ll be able to make it out at this close range. Not that they haven’t seen it before.
“
Surviving the Zombie Apocalypse
,” Dax mutters, then shakes his head. “It’s fiction. Written back when all this shit was fiction. Doesn’t mean a thing.”
“That’s what you think.” I flip it open, thumbing through the pages Al marked. He took his time. Sorted through all the bullshit to find the important stuff. The stuff that would keep us alive. “Chapter three: making fire.”
“So?” Dax asks, sounding even more impatient than before.
“Shut up and let her read it,” Jim says.
“Thanks.” I scan the list of supplies until I find what I’m looking for. “All we need to get a fire going is a battery and a foil gum wrapper.”
“Perfect,” Dax mutters. “Let’s just run on down to the local drugstore and we can pick that stuff up. Along with a bag of Doritos and some Mountain Dew.”
Jim snorts and rolls his eyes like he thinks Dax is the biggest asshole in the world, and Joshua sucks in a deep breath.
Before anyone else can say a word, though, Ginny pushes away from Angus and wipes her nose on her sleeve. “Shut up.”
“We have those things already, you asshole,” I say, reaching into my pack and pulling the baggie out. If Al were here, I’d kiss him. “Al planned ahead.”
“Balls of steel,” Angus mutters.
Joshua nods and lowers his head. Even though I’ve never seen him do it, I can’t help wondering if he’s saying a silent prayer for the two missing teens.
“We can’t make a fire out here,” Jim says, looking around.
Axl grabs my hand. “Yeah. It’d give us away and draw any zombies that are hangin’ out in the area. Let’s walk a bit, and maybe we’ll find us a good place to set up for the night. I don’t wanna travel in the dark like this, and we’ll be able to figure out where we are better once the sun is up.”
“Sounds like we got us a plan,” Jim says from behind us.
The others start moving, and not even Dax argues as Axl leads us through the woods and away from the river.
The bank going up to the road is steep, forcing us to climb. I look over my shoulder as I heave myself up the hill and find Angus helping Ginny. Damn. That guy never ceases to amaze me.
The top of the hill is literally within my grasp when I lose my footing. My feet slip through the loose earth, and I slide a foot or so down the hill. Back toward the riverbank. Axl reaches back to grab me, but before he has a chance, Dax is at my side. His hands on my hips as he hauls me the rest of the way up. I’m panting by the time I finally make it to the road.
Dax doesn’t remove his hands.
“Thanks,” I say, stepping out of his grasp.
His eyes go to my face and Axl takes a step closer, but I move between the two men.
Angus lets out a chuckle and slaps his brother on the back. “Let it go. You can kick his ass after we’ve found us a place to hunker down for the night.”
Axl nods, but his jaw is clenched tight.
I turn away from Dax—who is still staring at me—so I can get a better look at the area. Just like almost every other street in the world, the road is empty and silent and dark. Trees line both sides, making me feel more boxed in than I like, but there isn’t a sound other than the distant river and the rustle of branches knocking together above us. And the air is clear of death.
“Upstream,” Jim says, heading down the street. “We keep moving that way.”
Axl grabs my hand and follows the other man. Angus goes too, his arm around Ginny, and Joshua trails after us. A few seconds later, the sound of Dax’s feet scraping against the pavement fills the remaining silence, and I know he’s coming too.
“There’s nothing to worry about,” I say, slipping my hand into Axl’s.
“I know.”
“Then why do you get bent out of shape every time he looks at me like that?”
“‘Cause it makes me think of the Monte Carlo. Don’t like men lookin’ at you like that. Like they want to have their way with you.”
Jim looks over his shoulder, his eyes narrowing on us like he’s trying to figure out what we’re talking about. I look away when the hair on the back of my neck stands up.
“You can’t stop it, you know,” I say, lowering my voice even more.
Axl’s hand tightens on mine. “I can try.”
“You’ll fail,” I say, trying to bite back a smile.
Jealousy has never been a turn-on for me, but that’s not what this is. This is love. Fierce and strong and overpowering, and I can’t get enough of it. It’s Axl loving me so much that the thought of anything happening to me tears him apart. I love it because it’s exactly how I feel about him.
Footsteps rustle through the forest behind us, cutting through the silence. We all stop moving and turn. None of us say a word. The sound isn’t coming from our group, which means it’s someone walking through the woods. Through dead leaves and falling limbs.
My hand is still in Axl’s when I draw my knife. Thank God I didn’t lose it in the river. Unlike my gun. Around me, the others draw their knives as well. Hopefully, it isn’t more than a couple zombies.
“You have your gun?” I whisper, not taking my eyes off the darkness in front of me.
“Lost it in the water,” Axl says.
Jim nods at my side. “Me too.”
Great. Dax isn’t holding one either, so I can only assume he lost it. Which means we’re down to knives. I hate it when that happens.
Someone steps out of the trees twenty feet or so back, and I tense, but behind me Angus chuckles.
“Rambo,” he calls, “thought we’d seen the last of you, but I shoulda known better.”
“You’re louder than a herd of elephants.” Parvarti heads our way, and when she steps into the light, I’m able to get a good look at her. Soaked, just like the rest of us. “Made it easy to find you.”
Her gaze moves across us, taking inventory. She has to notice everyone that’s missing, but she doesn’t mention it. Of course.
“Where’d you come out?” Axl asks.
“A ways back,” she says as she passes us. “I got lucky. My leg got caught on a submerged branch. Made it easy to pull myself out. Just wasn’t sure where you all ended up.”
The rest of us hurry to catch up with her, and even though I’m relieved to know Parvarti is okay, I’m still annoyed by her lack of sympathy. Eventually, something has to break through that tough exterior and make her care about life.
“Sorry to have worried you,” I mutter.
Parvarti looks over her shoulder and our eyes meet, but once again she stays silent. Then she turns back to face the front and walks faster. Like she’s running from me. I have a good feeling it isn’t just me she’s running from, though.
We walk through the dark night in silence, each of us lost in our own thoughts and nursing our own wounds. Where Lila and Al ended up is a mystery, and even though I know it’s a long shot, I find myself listening intently as we move, hoping to hear a voice or two. Praying we stumble upon them the way we did Parvarti.
Ginny leans against Angus, and the further we walk, the more he seems to be supporting her. Why those two have chosen each other for comfort, I’m not sure, but I do know that disturbing them would be wrong and selfish. Doesn’t stop me from wanting to hug her every time I look her way. She and Jon were only trying to move on. To carve a life for themselves out of what was left of this world. I don’t understand why God thought that was too much to give them.
If there is a God.
By the time we reach the edge of a town, I’m dragging my feet and shivering from head to toe. Axl hasn’t stopped rubbing his hand up and down my arm, and Dax has moved so he’s walking on the other side of me. I must look colder than I feel, because Axl doesn’t even tell him to get lost.
“Let’s find us a house,” Axl says, just loud enough that Parvarti and Jim—who are in the lead—can hear him.
Dax detaches himself from my side and jogs to the front of the group so he can lead the way into town. Even though Axl glares, he doesn’t mention what just happened, and I’m glad. I’m too tired to rehash the same conversation or reassure him. Right now, all I want to do is strip off these wet clothes and snuggle under a warm blanket with a naked Axl. Preferably in front of a fire.