Broken Wings (The Broken Series Book 3) (15 page)

We
packed French bread, cheese, pâté,
grapes, and wine for
dinner. Rafael grabbed a blanket, and we walked out front to eat alongside the
river. I was surprised to find the cherry blossoms were already beginning to
bud. The river would be breathtaking once they were in full bloom.

I
slipped a grape inside Rafael’s mouth as we laid the food out on top of the
blanket. “Let’s play twenty questions.”

Rafael
reached for the bottle of wine. “Okay, but I get to go first.”

I
smiled. “Okay, shoot.”

His
face grew serious as he handed me a glass of wine. “Are you still in love with
Michael?”

I
shook my head. “Clearly you don’t understand how this game is played. You’re
supposed to work up to the difficult questions.”

Rafael’s
eyes danced. “Oh, I know how the game is played. If I only get twenty
questions, I’m going to make each one count.”

I
tried pouting.

He
hooked his right arm around his knee as he waited for my response.

I
peered out over the water as I sorted through my reply. “I will always love
Michael and regret how our relationship ended, but I wouldn’t say that I’m
still
in love
with him. Those feelings were destroyed when he forced me to
leave, although I do understand why he did it. He loves me and wants me safe. I
think Michael and I just have two very different ideas about what love is. I
think love should pull you together during difficult times, not drive you
apart.”

Rafael
studied me as he sipped his wine. “If he showed up on your doorstep today,
apologized, and begged you to come back… would you?”

I
scowled in a sidelong glance. “Just for the record, that’s two questions.” I hugged
my knees and tried to envision Michael on my doorstep. My heart clenched. I still
couldn’t picture him without feeling excruciating pain. I sighed, sadly. “No. I
could never trust Michael with my heart again. I couldn’t live like that…
worrying each time something went wrong that he would push me away or end our
relationship again. I need someone who’s going to be there during the tough
times… someone who will stand by me no matter what life throws at us.”

Rafael
nodded as he sliced the cheese. He handed me a piece before popping some in his
mouth. “Your turn,” he prompted.

I
glanced at him over the top of my wine. “Okay, since we’re going straight to
the big questions… Have you ever been in love before?”

Rafael
shook his head. “No. I went straight into training for special ops when I
graduated high school. I was so busy avenging my parents’ deaths through my
work that I could think of little else. You were my first assignment when I
left the force, and I think that photograph hanging in my hallway reveals the
only woman I have ever loved. I wasn’t interested in dating any other women
after I met you. So I stood back and waited. I didn’t think things would work
out between you and Michael.”

I
wasn’t certain I wanted the answer to the next question, but I still felt
compelled to ask. “Does Michael know about us?”

He
exhaled loudly. “No. Not yet. I know I have to tell him, but I don’t know how.
He’s not going to want to hear this, and I’m worried about how he might react.”
He paused as he reached for a piece of bread. “My turn?”

I
nodded, then sprawled out on my stomach.

Rafael
waited until our eyes met again. “Do you still want to have children?”

I
couldn’t hide the pain that question evoked. “I do, but I think my odds of
getting pregnant again are pretty low. I haven’t seen a doctor since the
miscarriage, but my doctors warned me a few years ago that I’d have difficulty
conceiving. Why? Do you want children?”

He
stretched his legs out as he leaned back over the blanket. “Absolutely.” His
eyes softened as he met my gaze. “I would like to have a child of my own, but if
that’s not possible, I’d want to adopt.” He smiled. “Actually, I think it would
be nice to do both.” He offered me a grape. “Can you picture a future with me?”

I
sat up and spread pâté on a couple slices of bread. Aside from school and my
new career goals, I hadn’t really thought about my future. It had proven too
painful after losing Michael and the baby.

I
handed Rafael a slice of bread as I contemplated what a future with him might
look like. When I looked into his eyes I saw so much kindness, an unwavering
commitment, and hope. I wanted those things in my life so badly it hurt. “Yes,”
I whispered. “I can picture a future with you.”

Rafael
kissed the top of my head. “I can’t envision a future without you,” he murmured
with his lips still pressed to my head.

I
tried to lighten up the questions a bit. “Where do you want to settle down? Of
all the places you’ve been, where do you most enjoy living?”

He
refilled our wine glasses. “I like living in Northern Virginia, but I really
like Saint-Tropez too. I’d be happy living in either of those two places.”

I
peered out over the water and sighed. The gray hue paled in comparison to the
vivid blue waters offered by Saint-Tropez. “I loved Saint-Tropez.”

Rafael
followed my gaze. “How do you feel about Kadyn?”

“Wouldn’t
you rather know my favorite color?” I whined.

He
smiled, but he shook his head. “I need to know where I stand with my
competition. You have no idea how difficult this is… this idea of you dating
him too. You guys have a history together, and he’s clearly in love with you.”
Rafael paused as he tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear. “I’m trying to
do the right thing. I want you certain of your feelings for him and for me
before we take our relationship any further. But the idea of losing you, when
we’ve only just begun this relationship…” He shook his head again.

I
tucked my knees under my chin as I forced my thoughts to Kadyn. “I won’t lie,
Rafael. I love Kadyn too. I was
in love
with him before Michael took me
to Paris. Then I fell in love with Michael. When I came back, Kadyn insisted we
could only be friends. So I wouldn’t allow myself to think of him as anything
more. Now I feel conflicted and a little bit confused. I love him, but I don’t
know to what extent.” I snorted softly as I shook my head. “That probably
doesn’t even make sense.”

Rafael
looked thoughtful. “Actually it does… and it confirms for me that you need some
time to sort through those feelings. Of course, I’m still going to do
everything I can to ensure that you fall hopelessly in love with me. I don’t
want you dreaming of a future with any other man.” Rafael drained his wine
glass. He moved the food aside so he could stretch out on the blanket. He pulled
me next to him as he did.

I
rested my head in the crook of his arm as we stared up at the clouds. I reached
for his hand, then studied his fingers as they twined with mine. “You really are
an amazing man.”

Rafael
sighed contentedly. “I’m glad you think so. Can I text you tomorrow to see how
your first day goes with the new job?”

I
smiled as I squeezed his hand. “Sure. Kadyn sent me a text earlier. He asked me
to meet him at Fort Myer at six tomorrow morning. He wants to work on
self-defense at the base since it’s on our way to work. I still have to go to
school after work, so I won’t see him again until after class.” I shook my head.
“I still don’t know how I’m going to juggle everything.”

Rafael
pulled me closer. He kissed my hand, then tucked it against his chest. “I’ll be
counting the minutes until I can see you again.”

*
* * * * *

Kadyn
met me at the front gate so he could sign me in. I left my jeep parked near the
main entrance to the fort. Kadyn drove the rest of the way to the gym. I briefed
him on the self-defense moves Rafael had been teaching me while we stretched
out on the mat. We spent twenty minutes warming up on the treadmills before we
returned to the mat.

Kadyn
seemed pleased with everything Rafael was teaching me. He adjusted my straight
punch so I was twisting my wrist just before the point of impact. He also told me
to focus on hitting with the first two knuckles. Since Rafael was already
teaching me to punch and block, Kadyn decided to focus primarily on kicking
techniques. He felt Karate would strengthen my ability to defend myself. He demonstrated
a front kick, side kick, back kick, and something called a roundhouse kick. He
made me run through each kick until my movements became more fluid. My legs
were shaking by the time we were done.

We
parted ways when we ducked inside the locker rooms to shower and dress for work.
By the time I was done, Kadyn was waiting for me at the entrance to the gym. I
groaned when I saw him sitting there in his Air Force uniform. The guy
commanded attention, even in sweats, but the uniform… It was impossible not to
be affected by Kadyn when he was wearing that uniform. Kadyn stood as I
approached him. “Hey.”

I
stopped dead in my tracks, uncertain as to whether I should run screaming in
the opposite direction or jump on top of him. Kadyn looked amused as I shot him
a tortured look.

“They
should shoot whoever designed that uniform,” I muttered under my breath. “It
makes women stupid.”

Kadyn
laughed as he opened the door.

I
kept my eyes trained on the sidewalk as we walked to his car.

Kadyn
opened the passenger door. He reached for my elbow to steady me as I stepped inside
the car. “I’d like to take you to dinner when you get done with school. Do you
want me to pick you up at your house or at the school?”

I
risked a glance at Kadyn as he walked around the car. I waited until he was in
the driver seat to respond. “Why don’t you text me the address for the
restaurant, and I’ll meet you there right after school?”

Kadyn
braced his arm against my seat as he backed out of the parking space. “That
sounds good. I’ll text you the address when I get off work.”

I
programmed the GPS on my phone to navigate me to the Seeds for Peace office. I
didn’t want to risk making a wrong turn during rush hour. I looked up at Kadyn
when I finished programming my phone. “Thanks for teaching me those kicks and
for helping me learn self-defense. I should have asked you to teach me Karate a
long time ago.”

Kadyn
glanced at me. “I’m surprised you didn’t have your uncle or Lexie teach you Karate
when you were a kid.”

I
looked out the window and sighed. “I guess I viewed Karate more as a sport. I
didn’t stop and think about how it might save my life. I had no idea so many
people would try to cause me harm. If only I’d known then what I know now.”

Kadyn
parked his car next to my jeep. “How could you possibly have known?” He stepped
out of the car and walked to the passenger side while I gathered my things from
the back seat.

Kadyn
held out his hand as I stepped out of the car. I was surprised when he gave me a
hug, since public displays of affection weren’t permitted when in uniform. He
smiled as he steadied me on my feet. “I hope you have a good day at work.”

I
glanced back at him as I unlocked my jeep. “Thanks, Kadyn. I hope you have a
good day too.” I threw my gym bag on the passenger seat as I hopped into the jeep.
Kadyn followed me through the gate, but I lost him in a sea of traffic as we
merged onto I-395.

*
* * * * *

I
had just stepped foot inside my office when Sammi popped by to let me know I
had to go to the travel clinic to get Hep A and Hep B shots, which were required
for travel to Ukraine. I spent most of the morning at the clinic.

 Shae,
Sammi, Cory, and I spent the rest of the day in a team meeting strategizing
about the training for Ukraine. We needed a good picture of their
socio-economic climate and any political issues that might lead to conflict. We
planned to map these conflicts so we could use them for our lectures and
simulations. We generated a list of research and development tasks, then
divided them all up.

I
was struggling to stay awake by the time school ended, so I grabbed a Starbucks
before meeting up with Kadyn at the Melting Pot.

He
was waiting in the parking lot when I arrived. He climbed out of his car when I
pulled alongside him. “Hey, Kri,” he greeted as I jumped out of the jeep.

I
met him on the sidewalk. “I see you’ve already changed out of your uniform.”

He
pulled me in for a hug before opening the door to the restaurant. “I took a
change of clothes to the office. You look nice. How was work?”

I
rolled my eyes, then laughed. “I’m wearing the same thing I was wearing when we
left the gym, only I’m a lot more wrinkled! Work was good, except for the shots
they made me get for the trip to Ukraine.”

Kadyn
spoke with the hostess. She made a notation on her reservation list, gathered two
menus, and led us through the dimly lit restaurant. Steam rolled from a number
of tables. Cheese and chocolate scented the air. The hostess motioned us toward
a round booth. She handed us the menus as we took our seats. “Your server will
be with you shortly,” she noted before walking away.

Kadyn
glanced at me over the top of his menu. “Have you been to the Melting Pot
before?”