Broken Wings (Cruel and Beautiful World, Book One 1) (14 page)

Dougal's smile quickly turned to a scowl. "Watch your fucking tongue. Guess I'll make this easy and just call 'im. His car can get 'ere pretty fast." He pulled up his right sleeve to uncover his citizen wristband, then got ready to press the button Deryn knew was used to call someone. All it needed was a name.

Deryn could not breath as she stared at the band, her palms sweating and her heart beating so hard she felt it in her throat. She needed her knife. She needed to get to her fucking knife but he had her pinned!

Dougal hesitated and looked closely at her. His smile returned. "Or we can have some fun at my place before you're executed. You know. One last hoorah."

Deryn grimaced at the thought. Dougal leaned into her. She tried to push him off, but he seized her wrists.

"This'll be fun."

"No!"

He took a small device out of his pocket, then pressed a button so it became shackles.

"Get off me!" Deryn kicked him away and bent her wrist into her sleeve, finally pulling out her knife. Even while bound, she still landed a successful slash across his chest. His jugular vein wasn't even an option right now. The cut wasn't deep, but it was enough to make him take a couple of steps back.

"You fucking -"

Both of their heads turned when they heard someone's feet skid and stop at the entrance to the alley. Deryn had never felt more relief than when she saw Xander standing there. He was panting heavily and had obviously been running for a while.

"Xander, what you doin' here?" asked Dougal, clearly unhappy about having to share his find.

"Leon?" asked Xander, looking at her unsurely for a moment.

Deryn pulled her hood slightly back and nodded.

"Yeah, Leon," said Dougal. "I found 'er. Was just goin' to call the president." He pulled up his sleeve again and put his finger on the call button.

Xander took a step forward and grabbed his Element out of its holster. He aimed it at Dougal. "Hands up."

Dougal looked at Xander, pursing his brow when he noticed the Element was pointed at him. "What the -"

Xander pressed a button on his Element that released a large gust of wind, sending Dougal hurling backwards. He walked up to Deryn and held out his hand. "Give it here, Leon."

Deryn hesitated only for a second before handing him her knife. He used it to cut through her binds, which worked, despite them being electrical. She took note of that.

"Next time, try using it before you're tied up."

"You helpin' her, Xander?" asked Dougal from where he sat unmoving on the ground.

"Looks like it," said Xander, taking several steps forward with his Element still aimed at Dougal, making sure he didn't give the man a chance to reach for his own weapon.

"But why? You fuckin' 'er or somethin'?"

Xander said nothing. He would not even dignify a question like that with a response.

"'Cause, I gotta tell you, I owned 'er before and it ain't nothin' spe -"

Xander aimed his Element more forcefully.

"Alright, alright! I take it back!"

"Leon, did he really own you before?" asked Xander, glancing sideways at her.

Deryn gulped and looked at Dougal. She nodded slowly.

"And did he treat you well?"

She took another moment to stare into Dougal's shifty eyes before moving to Xander's fiery ones, which were currently twinkling gold in the moonlight. She shook her head.

Xander looked back at his fellow Guardian and scowled. "You were in the wrong place at the wrong time tonight, Dougal. And now it ends."

"Ends?" repeated Dougal with wide eyes. "Wait, Ruby -"

Xander raised the knife he was still holding and threw it at Dougal, hitting him on the left side of his neck. There was a moment of fear and several choked breaths before his body fell to the ground. He began to bleed out and quickly lost consciousness.

Deryn gasped and turned away. "Why did you do that? You didn't have to kill him."

"Yes, I did."

"But you could've just stopped his heart or -"

"No, I couldn't have," insisted Xander. "I told you, the president has our Element use checked every morning. I'm going to have to come up with an excuse just for that damn wind."

"But -"

"No buts. This is a fucking war, Leon. Aim to kill."

Deryn turned back and watched Xander as he stared at Dougal's lifeless body, the sound of his words instantly bringing her back to their encounter during the battle in Eagle Center. But, even with those same words, Xander had never seemed further from his old self than he did right then.

Xander remained placid as he stepped forward. He took some gloves out of his pocket and put them on before taking the knife out of Dougal's throat. Then he kneeled down, grabbed Dougal's left wrist and began cutting it off. Deryn turned away. But only for a moment.

"When I took off Soren's wristband I only had to cut it, not him."

"I know. That's why the president had them remodeled."

When she turned back, Dougal's hand was detached and the veins in his arms were quickly turning black. Xander removed the wristband and jammed the knife into it, destroying the tracker he knew would be activated when Dougal did not show up for his duties in the morning. He easily slipped off his citizen wristband and did the same. It was only a matter of time before citizens were upgraded to wristbands that burrowed into their skin, like the ones the guards wore, but for now the president was playing it safe, letting everyone adjust to the idea of wearing them first before taking it a step further.

Once that was done, Xander glanced farther down the alley at the closest dumpster. "Help me with this, will you?" he said, looking over his shoulder at her. "I don't want to get his blood all over me."

Deryn hesitated before walking over. Xander instructed her to take Dougal's arms while he grabbed his legs. She flinched as she held him below the bloody nub that was once his hand. They moved quickly, tossing him in with a 'heave-ho'. He was immediately followed by his hand and broken wristbands.

The little bit of trash in the dumpster looked like it had been there for a long time, but Xander still rearranged it as best he could so it was at least covering Fender's exposed body parts. Then, after one last wipe of the knife on the dead man's coat, he turned to Deryn.

"What the hell were you thinking?" he shouted. "Do you have a death wish or something?"

"I ..."

"Saevus would already be planning your fucking execution if I hadn't been close enough to hear you scream! Dammit, Leon! Why did you leave?" Xander's face turned bright red as he shouted at her.

"You ... you called me toxic trash," said Deryn softly.

"What?"

"You called me toxic trash, Ruby," she repeated. "You try to act like you've changed but if that's how you view me -"

"That's not how I fucking view you, Leon! I was pissed! I didn't mean it!"

Deryn's throat tightened. "You didn't?"

"Of course not! If I saw you that way then why the fuck would I be helping you?"

"I ... I don't know -"

"I wouldn't!" Xander continued to stare at her with flaming eyes. They eventually softened. "Look, Leon, I'm not going to lie to you and say that all my beliefs have changed, because they haven't. The outside world is toxic, and anyone who lives out there will have a shortened life."

Deryn rolled her eyes.

"Don't fucking do that," he said harshly. "Let me finish before you go and judge me."

She waited.

"Yes, I believe what you consider to be nonsense, but I don't believe Outsiders should be treated as they are." Xander let out a deep sigh. He grabbed Deryn's arm and pulled back her sleeve, carefully returning the knife to its holster. Then he held out his hand to her. "Come on."

Deryn looked at it skeptically.

"I'm sorry I called you toxic -"

Deryn's eyes snapped back to his. He had never said that word to her before.
Sorry
.

"- but you can't stay out here. I don't know where you were going, but I can promise you it's not safe. Now, let's go."

Deryn looked back at his hand and watched closely as she placed hers inside of it, a weird feeling tingling in her stomach as he gave it a squeeze.

Without another word between them, Xander pulled her to the edge of the alley. He looked out to the street and made sure it was clear before leading her towards his apartment.

Deryn didn't take her eyes off of their clasped hands as they walked, her head still ringing with that word.
Sorry
. Xander was sorry for something he had done to her.

About halfway back, they heard several voices coming from around one of the corners. Xander grabbed Deryn and pulled her into another alley. He pressed her against the wall and held his body against hers, keeping them shielded from view until the people passed.

Deryn looked at his profile as he stared out towards the street, listening closely to make sure the people were gone. Xander had killed someone for her, and she wasn't sure how she felt about that. Dougal Fender was a bad person. He was vile and cruel, and countless lives had probably been saved with his death.

The line between right and wrong was so thin in this war, and Deryn could not decide where Xander stood. At one time, Dougal had been his friend. She didn't know the extent of that friendship, but he was around their age and the two of them were often together at Eagle. That had to have meant something. But tonight he had disposed of him so easily. For her.

Without even realizing it, Deryn lifted her hands and gripped Xander's coat. He turned and looked at her right as the tears fell. Her face pressed against his chest and his arms instinctually wrapped around her.

"Leon, what's wrong?"

"I don't know," she said, shaking her head. "I just ... I feel like such an idiot."

"What?"

"My mind has been so muddled lately. I don't know what I was thinking, leaving like that."

"People make mistakes -"

"Not me," she said, crying harder. "My mind ... It's not the same anymore, Ruby. It's not what it once was. They destroyed it. They ..."

Deryn's legs gave out and she collapsed. Xander tightened his hold and scooped her into his arms. "Come on, Leon. Let's get you home."

Home
. Is that what this haven she had stumbled into was becoming? Her home?

Deryn gripped Xander's coat tighter and nuzzled into his shoulder. She hated that she felt so safe here, like nothing could harm her while she was wrapped in his arms. This dependence she was getting on him was not healthy. He was a Guardian and Guardians were her enemy. She could never forget that.

When they got back to his building, Xander headed up the stairs very carefully. Right around the third floor, Deryn noticed someone blocking their path out of the corner of her eye. She turned her head slightly and met the curious gaze of Bronson.

"What the hell is going on, Ruby? Who is -"

"I've never cashed in on that favor you owe me, Bronson, and, now, I need to do just that. Mention this to no one. Not even Quigley. Understand?"

Bronson looked back at Deryn, his face twisting with the slightest flicker of recognition, but it seemed like he couldn't quite place her. He nodded and moved aside, watching closely as Xander ascended the stairs with the mysterious woman in his arms.

Once they got inside the apartment, Xander kicked off his shoes and went straight to Deryn's room. He put her down carefully on the bed.

"What were you talking about down there?" she asked in a weak voice as he helped her remove her shoes, coat and holster. "Why does he owe you a favor?"

Xander's face remained unchanged as he emptied the pockets of her coat. "Bronson and Quigley are both Outsiders."

Something jolted in Deryn's stomach as all of the air was literally knocked out of her.

"I altered the information in their wristbands years ago. They were both born in Utopia, but left with Quigley's family when they were around twelve, I think." Xander put her knife and map on the dresser, but paused when he came across the chocolate bar. "Why do you have this?"

"You gave it to me."

"I know, but why haven't you eaten it?"

Deryn shrugged. "I don't own very much. If I eat it then that's one less thing that's mine."

Xander sighed and put down the chocolate bar. As he hung her coat in the closet, he asked, "What were you saying before? About your mind?"

Deryn shrugged again.

He went over and sat on the edge of her bed. "Is that why you haven't been reading? You think it's damaged?"

"Is that so farfetched?" she asked, wiping several tears from her eyes. "People have gone insane while enduring a lot less than I have. Sometimes, I wonder if I'm even really here. Like maybe this is all in my imagination or something. That would at least explain why you keep helping me." Deryn sighed. "I was considered one of the most intelligent in our training program, and now look at me. What a joke."