Authors: Monica Ali
November 1988
My own sister what a beautiful room you live! At last I have see it after all many years asking. I putting photo on top of crate next to Raqib picture. When I have glass I think to put both inside frame. You never say about showcase corner cabinet wallpaper. It all ordinary like anything to you now. Every day I looking and think my own sister just there with showcase and corner cabinet and everything. Little bit worry comes only your arms too thin and face as well. But Zainab say it is fashion in London get thin.
Zainab is mother who live behind. She say 'This building it get pull down. Look how close to railway track.' She say Mr Chowdhury is skinning alive with rent and soon they move. I tell her about plastering man is on the way but she suck teeth make sound like whistle. Not so friendly woman. Only words come out are complaint. Husband works at District Court she thinks she the fudge and Jury now. I have friends at work. Zainab say as she please.
I tell you about garment factory. Only half hour walk from here and it fine place. Eight o'clock is the start time. All must come few minute before and eight o'clock exact they unlock gate. If you come late it is trouble because they lock the gates after to keep safe. It have three room around courtyard all new solid concrete. One place is for machine. I go there. Another for cutting and finishing. Men go there. Small room for Manager and Paperwork and such like.
My machine so new and beautiful I hardly daring to touch and put my finger mark on. When I sitting down and start it know me for beginner and prick the thumbs. It purr like a cat now but only for me. Someone else use it then it show a temper and catch up all the cloths break threads. Aleya say if trees have spirit why not machine. Shahnaz say Aleya is country bumpkin and no ancestor of her worshipping trees and rock and thing. She do not say in front of Aleya. So kind and gentle this Shahnaz.
I am machine woman and things are different now. When I was helper run around with thread and cloth I was just girl. Even in spite I think I am woman long before. We all talk together in lunch break. Four in my row stick like sister. Aleya Shahnaz Renu and me. I tell you about them my other sisters. Aleya have five children she comes from Noakhali. All our lives we think Noakhalis never wash they smelly like jackfruits but I give my vow as a true fact Aleya do not smell. Money she make she send her boys to school. Husband make problem for her but Aleya thinking of children only and not the husband. The husband say 'Why should you work? If you work it looks bad. People will say – he cannot feed her.' But Aleya keep dropping wishes into the rice. Pinch of salt pinch of what she want and at the end he giving in. He buy burkha for her and every day walking with her to factory. Evening there he is wait at gate.
Shahnaz is only bit older one two year than me and she gone very far along in school. Most day she talking about match. Parents have pick seven eight boys but Shahnaz refuse all. And she disagree to dowry. 'Why should we give dowry? I am not a burden. I make money.
I
am the dowry.' We have grow close. She show me how she apply her cosmetics and she teach how to make eyebrows less ugly by pull out the hairs. She try some rouge on my cheek but wipe it off. My colouring is not good for rouge. It make look cheap.
Oldest of us is Renu a widow. She was marry at fifteen to old man who die within three month. She go back to father short time he throw out. All the life she has work but she the one who do not wish for this. Despite she have only two teeth she eat anything at all. Hard gums she say. 'I can break bricks on these gums.' Every lunch hour she is chew betel nut. It ban but Renu have no care about it. I asking if she marry again. 'Who will marry these bones?' She wave her arms but no bones showing is bracelets from wrists to elbow. 'My life! My life! Over at fifteen. Might as well be Hindu. His grave was big enough for two. Why I did not jump in?' She spit too as well never mind spitting is ban. She say there is no one to protect me. I must go here and there always alone. Anyone say anything they like because I am woman alone. I put here on earth to suffer. I am waiting and suffering. This is all.
I really feeling for her. In her life she had no love. This is great wrong.
Rut sometime she remind of Amma and then I must find reason to go away from her.
So shame your husband job is not good like he expecting. Skill man like him he find another quick no time at all.
January 1989
Sister so often I read your letters the paper wear out. How short these letter I have most by heart. Last one hardly is start and end come. You are cast down. I feel it. Thinking and thinking what to do. You say the friend has sewing job. Why you not also get this sewing? Wait for good time for asking husband. After he find job for his own self then he can be happy for wife to work also.
Working is like cure. Some find it curse I meaning Renu. But I do not. Sewing pass the day and I sit with friends. As actual fact it bring true friendship and true love. Love marriage maybe is better call something else than love. In real marriage it grow slow slow. Habit. Sit together. Give bit here take bit there. That is how it come at work.
Some people making trouble outside factory. They shout to us. 'Here come the garment girls. Choose the one you like.' A mullah organize whole entire thing. Day and night they playing religious message with loudspeaker. They say it sinful for men and women working together. But they the ones sinning take Gods name give insult to us and tell lie. Aleya husband getting anxious like anything. He want Aleya to wear burkha inside of factory. Shahnaz say why worry nobody want to look at that monkey face. She only tease and she so careful not to let Aleya hear.
Men and women keep separate here. No men doing machining. Men they cannot sit quiet so long. They have to fidget and talk and walk around smoking. They make pattern and cut cloth these are difficult job. Also they iron. That job too dangerous for woman we do not understand the electricity. So you see how it is and when we must speak it is as brother and sister. Abdul he is a pattern cutter always call me sister. Every day he have fresh shirt.
Shahnaz say I am wear wrong colour of sari. I too pale for wearing red or blue or pink. Pink is most worst. Brown or green suit better. It all depend on tone of skin because on Shahnaz pink is very pretty. I spend a little on cloth. Shahnaz say you know how people talk. If you wear bright colour they say you asking them to look.
Judges wife keeping it up. Yesterday she say 'Better be careful. Let the jute men find out a garment girl here and then it is trouble.' I ask her why what kind of trouble? 'Well they see a girl go around like that. And then they find out she a garment girl. Do you want that I take a stick and draw it here on the dirt for you?' So I tell her. Pure is in the mind. Keep yourself pure in mind and God will protect. I close my fingers and make fist. I keep my fingers shut like this you cannot open my hands can you? I say like this to her. Even you try it take such long time it not worth it for you. Same thing my modesty. I keep purdah in the mind no one can take it. Then trial is over and only the Judges wife looking little guilty.
Overtime at factory next week. Big order come from Japan. Renu is miss out the overtime. She have make mistakes this week she mess up some shirts putting collars on wrong way. Someone report for chewing betel as well. Aleya say it Shahnaz but she deny. Shahnaz say Renu end up breaking bricks. 'She better tough those gums up and get ready.' Shahnaz is such tease. How close we getting.
Breaking bricks you see this thing it no joke. Sometime I walk a way down by railway line to work. Few minutes is peaceful good house coconut trees wild rose magnolia. Then the brick breakers. All day squatting over red bricks with little stone hammer. So huge pile wait for this little hammers. Like you take teaspoon to empty lake. Most is woman and they look hungry. Children help. Swell belly children and still laughing hitting breaking laughing. Most days I walk on back roads it is longer and there are no flowers but I like better.
Send respects to your husband. I keep you in the prayers.
March 1989
God has hear the prayers! What is date of confinement? Now husband will put all effort for finding job and God willing continue study also.
It hot like anything the leaves falling. Even coconut tree look hot. I think of Gouripur never so hot in village. Only few tree here no shade roads melting.
In London do roads ever melting? Aleya have cousin is Londoni. She tell me in London the people have no God. I keep quiet when she say. She is nice woman but from Noakhali.
Mr Chowdhury come for collect the rent take only what I have not bother at all for rest. He bring chair in back of Toyota Land Cruiser. Another tenant leave behind. I make tea and he go inside the room for inspecting the wall. Such busy man still he take the time. He sit on chair little pain come in his face and birthmark getting bright bright. What is it uncle I asking him. 'Am I not father to you?' I agree to it. 'Then why you do not call me father?' This is how he wants me to call. Then he speak of sons. They gone for study in America it make him proud like Hell. 'But if I had a daughter lovely daughter like you to rub my feet I will be happy man.'
Father I will rub feet. I tell to him. I take off sandals and pleased to do this small thing for him. It did look like it make happy. He ask if jute men bothering me. 'These boys around pretty girl like wax to flame. They cannot help it.' But no one dare bothering me. Someone is staring so what? It only their eyes they hurting. One man is coming close by my pot when I cooking. Yellow skin and big wobble arms. Only he looks never daring do anything.
Judges wife come around. She talks the hands fly around all around. They do look like little brown flock seven-brothers birds. 'This place was respectable Establishment' she say. 'Now this man filling with all lowlifes and skinning with rent. I know his game. He is after Eviction Notice for us for reason we are respectable tenant. He wanting more space for his lowlifes.' She really getting excited. 'My husband working for District Court. Let him try his Eviction Notice. Let him try.
We
going to serve Notice on
him.'
All this after she say they moving and also as well the building get pull down. Take care she say. I giving you a mothers warning. Today I am everybodys daughter.