Breaking Bedlam (Beautiful Bedlam Book 2) (25 page)

“Have fun.” She giggled and mussed Sienna’s hair before stumbling over to Trent. 

“What was that?” Logan asked with an amused smile on his face as if he’d witnessed the entire absurd encounter.

“I think the prom queen just gave us her blessing.” She said and smacked Logan’s arm as she saw his face crack up with laughter.

“Stop laughing.” She chided and hit him playfully again.

“It wouldn’t be so funny if you weren’t such a prude.” He chuckled at her humiliated expression. Their eyes grew warmer and gentler as their laughter ceased and they were left with nothing but the small empty space between them that they both wanted to fill. “So I should probably go now,” she said shakily.

“What? But this is your party.” He replied back inconceivably.
“No its not, these people came for you or at least to check out your mansion. They didn’t come for me, thanks for the party though. I’ve actually had fun. It meant a lot.” She whispered sincerely and stood up on her tiptoes and gave him the lightest gentlest kiss on his cheek. He turned his lips towards hers before she could move away completely catching her off guard as he gave he kissed her. She didn’t kiss him back but she didn’t exactly push him away instantly either.

“I have to go.” She gasped, her heart raced as she rushed out of his house in such a daze that she didn’t realize that she had left through the back entrance in to the gardens that looked completely different to the majestically winter forest she had entered upon in her last visit, now it was a vision of color, bright greens and vibrant pinks, purples, reds and whites as the trees were in full bloom of late spring.

“Sienna! Wait, I’m sorry.” He apologized as he sprinted after her catching up to her in mere seconds.

“Sienna, can we at least talk?” he implored and spun her around to face him.

“What’s there to say?” she asked fervently, her face was wet with tears. Logan pulled her to him and held her in his arms soothing her down as she cried in to his chest.

“Stop! Stop being nice to me! Stop holding me! Stop kissing me! Stop trying to save me! I don’t want to be saved!” she exclaimed pushing him back as she walked on to the dock of the small lake.

“I don’t want to be cared for! I don’t want to be lo-“

“Well then get over it! Because whether you like it or not I’m going to be the one that’s going to pull your mopey ass out of bed every morning.
And I’m going to remind you how beautiful you are every night. I’m going to be the one who’s going to pick you up every time life throws you down. You don’t like it? Tough, because I love you Sienna Rivers, and there’s not a damn thing you could say or do to make me feel otherwise.” He said passionately, his eyes burned black like a raven’s feather. His chest heaved slightly as he breathed heavily with the emotion that he’d been bottling up for months, maybe even years.

“Get in the boat.” She said politely as she sat in the white wooden canoe. That was not the reaction he had hoped his dramatic romantic confession would have brought about.

“What?” he asked confusedly blinking at her as if she had gone mad…again.

“Get. In. The. Boat.” She said austerely making him realize she was serious.

“What are you kidnapping me?” he asked humorously trying to hide the anxiety that was eating away at him. She began rowing and gliding the oars against the water. Her arms quickly grew tired much to her annoyance so she passed them on to him.

“Row.”

“Yes, ma’am.” He said amiably rowing them effortlessly and with great ease. Sienna looked around and couldn’t help but be in complete awe of the natural beauty that surrounded her. She let her fingers slide along the cool blue water that almost looked orange wherever it was kissed by the sun. White water lilies and orchids floated on the surface. Willow trees hung low on the skirts of the lake. Sienna had never felt so serene before, looking upon such great beauty, she felt as if she had fallen asleep and woken up in the middle of a Monet painting, it was that stunning. She looked to Logan who was looking back at her with the same admiration and awe she had for the scenery around her.

“What are you hiding from me?” Sienna asked gently.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He lied smoothly with an angelic look of innocence on his handsome face.

“Amber told me everything.”

“No she didn’t. She’d never do that to me.” He replied sullenly and squinted, looking out in the distance. The sun was setting falling in to the lake a if it didn’t want to stick around when Sienna found out the truth of the secrets he had been harboring.

“Fine, she didn’t but what is it that’s so bad that you can’t tell me? Logan, why did you leave suddenly for two years without telling anybody, without even saying goodbye? Why weren’t you surprised when we found out that Annie is your sister and that our parents had an affair? And why do you have scars behind your ears?”

“Why are you asking me these questions when you already know the answers?” he asked irritably and stopped rowing.

“I want to hear you say it.”

“No, you don’t.”

“Just say it.” she besought him with tears already forming in her glisteningly bright green eyes.

“What’s the point? I’m better now. The truth won’t make you feel any better. It won’t set you free. It’ll just shackle you down and make you grieve over something that happened a long time ago. Just drop it.” he growled and looked away.

“You tell me now or you never tell me again. I mean it Logan. If you’re not completely honest with me now, we are done forever. No more secrets.” She said softly meaning every word.

“I had a brain tumor.” He announced. Sienna’s entire face crumpled but she didn’t take the news as badly as he had feared, i.e. she hadn’t toppled over fainting in to the lake.

“It wasn’t cancer like Amber’s if that’s what you’re thinking. It was benign. Non-cancerous, that means it couldn’t spread to other parts of my body. The technical term for it is bilateral acoustic neuroma. The summer before freshman year I began getting severe headaches, dizziness, vomiting for no reason, remember?”

“I thought it was because you and Trent were hungover?” She said remembering encountering upon the boys from time to time vomiting their guts out.

“No, that was just Trent.” 

“I had the worst earache of my life for two weeks straight but I didn’t think anything of it at first nor did my doctor not until I had a full blown seizure in the middle of dinner. Thankfully mine was only grade two, so it wasn’t that big yet so they took me in to the surgery room, eight hours later I was tumor free, of course I had to go through radiotherapy later on for the small bit of tumor that remained.” He said casually as if it were no big deal. But it was a big deal; a huge one and it killed her that he went through it alone, without her. She was suddenly wracked with guilt and despair despite Logan sitting right in front of her like a picture of health.

“Amber had it worse. I wouldn’t wish chemo on anybody.” He said uncomfortably trying to fill the silence between them. Sienna was abnormally silent for once just sucking in all the information like a helpless sponge. 

“There’s something else. Something you’re not telling me.” She whispered finally speaking up. Logan hesitated wondering just how much he should tell her. He could already see from the look of anguish on her face that she was distraught.

“After my trans labyrinthine surgery I suffered from chronic headaches for several months and…the right side of my face was partially paralyzed and my left ear was very weak in hearing.” He said calmly and rather matter-of-factly.

“Oh Sienna, don’t cry, the results were pretty good if you think about how big the tumors were. I could’ve, I
should
be completely deaf right now, but look at me I’m one of the lucky ones, Sienna, I survived.”

“What? Now the tumors were big? Why didn’t you tell me Logan?”

“I just…its something I needed to go through alone.”

“But I could have been there for you, I could’ve-“

“What? Sat my bedside like my parents, cried your eyes out and ripped each other to shreds as I struggled to sleep? What good would it have done? You would’ve been just as helpless as them. I know you Sienna. This would have
crushed
you. Watching me die would have crushed you. We both know you don’t exactly have a great track record when it comes to dealing with death and grief.” He said desolately and splashed the water with his fingers.

“You should have at least said goodbye. I spent months,
years
, hating you. I blamed you for leaving me for so long. I still hate you. You should have told me. What if you had died? Would I have still thought to this day that you were in some fictional prep school? Or would I have read it in a local newspaper that the senator’s son dies of cancer?” she retorted hatefully and let her tears free fall like crazy.

“Did I ever tell you you’re super hot when you’re mad?” he asked her charismatically and handed her a beautiful white lily, holding her dainty hands in his.

“Stop it! Stop deflecting. You always do this whenever any conversation gets too serious you just try to distract me and cheapen what we have with…” her words faded as he gently kissed her hands.

“Did you just throw a flower at me?” he asked amusingly in shock. She threw another one at him out of sheer frustration, then another completely drenching in water but he just laughed which only aggravated her even further.

“Hey, Logan remember when we were eight years old and you used to tease me about still not knowing how to swim yet?” she asked sweetly, her angelic face so perfect it looked like it could have been carved in to stone.

“Yeah…” he replied feeblemindedly.

“And then you brought me out in to the middle of the lake, pushed me in to the water and told me to swim back?” she reminded him with a small smile on her face as if she were fond of that particular memory.

“Yes, granted it was not the nicest way of teaching you how to swim but hell it worked, didn’t it?” He remarked with a goofy grin recollecting the hilarious incident.

“You’ve gotta love karma.” She said ironically and swiftly knocked him over the side of the canoe with the oar and in to the lake making a great splash as he went down. 

“Logan. Logan, get up, it’s not funny. Logan!” she began shouting in a panic after her initial joy and triumph period had passed, as his body was nowhere to be seen.

“Logan!” she cried again but she was met with silence with not even a ripple in sight.

17.

Sienna screamed his name one more time before diving in to the lake herself.

“Boo!” he yelled as he popped up behind her startling her half to death.

“How could you do that to me? I thought you had drowned! I thought you were-“

“Dead? Awful feeling that, isn’t it? To think for even a second, the pain, the worry, the terror that shakes your heart, the stifling anguish you feel when you think that someone you love had just died?” he retorted callously and pulled himself up in to the boat. His white t-shirt and light blue jeans were completely soaked.

“You do realize that you’re mad at me for something that you might have done to me?” she asked fervently feeling as if he were being unfair and pulled herself up with a little help from Logan (much to her annoyance) in to the canoe.

“
Might
have done. There’s a big difference between dying from cancer and throwing yourself in front of a moving train whilst your boyfriend is begging you not to.” He yelled back at her trying to hold on to his anger and to not get distracted by the way her dress clung to her exquisite figure.

“I swear to God, I’m going to throw myself back in to the lake if it starts raining right now.” he retorted acerbically looking up but lucky for them the skies were clear.

“I’m sorry! Is that what you want to hear? I’m sorry! Because I truly am! And I’ve told you over and over again. I came to you at the hospital the moment I woke up even though I could barely walk! I told you how sorry I was but you just threw me out and told me you just pretended to love me for sex. How am I supposed to feel now every time I see you? Every time you tell me that you love me, how am I supposed to believe anything you say?” she asked angrily and wrapped her arms around her shoulders.

“Sienna, I’m sorry, okay…I was mad. I was so stupid. I should never have said those lies. I was wounded and hurt and in my anger I said things I shouldn’t have said. I love you.” He said earnestly as he rowed them back to the dock.

“The sad thing is even though I believe you, I think there’s always going to be a small part of me who’ll always doubt you because of it.” she said solemnly.

“So where does that leave us?” he asked forlornly already knowing the answer.

“I don’t know, Logan, where do a schizoaffective and a cancer survivor go from here?” she sighed as they reached the dock.

“I need some space and time away from you. I’ll find my own way home. Thanks for the party Logan, it’s been most enlightening.” She told him with a heavy heart and walked past the dozen of their closest classmates and friends who’d clearly watch the entire bizarre encounter from afar.

“Dude, I think they totally did it out there.” She heard one of the twins from the ‘reject’ group as Rose once had called them in the cafeteria say as he joined the group, with a drink in hand.

“Not fair, Logan Jackson always gets the hot crazy ones.” His brother sighed and drowned his cup.
Somehow Logan always managed to come out on top
, Sienna thought confusedly as she took the car keys to the mini cooper off an open mouthed shocked Candice who had most likely seen Sienna knock Logan in to the lake with a wooden oar. Her expression read ‘dat bitch is cray cray’. Sienna couldn’t agree more.