Breaking Bedlam (Beautiful Bedlam Book 2) (10 page)

“This doesn’t mean anything. I briefly dated Robert in senior year. The relationship lasted all of six months and was over years before I met your father. You don’t honestly believe her do you?” Maria asked hesitantly and nervously laughed. Sienna tugged at her earlobe again. The damn ringing had comeback.

“No. Of course not.” Cora replied quietly.

“But I-“Sienna began but was quickly spoken over.

“Enough Sienna. Just stop it. Stop with all the lies.” Cora said sternly.

“Its not her fault. She’s sick. We’ll get her all the help she needs.” Maria cooed and stroked the hair on Sienna’s head patronizingly.

Sienna clenched her fists and closed her eyes as the voices cackled and laughed like hyenas in her head. “I’m not the one who’s sick. You are. You’re an alcoholic!” Sienna whispered and slapped her mother’s hand away.

“ENOUGH OF THE LIES!” she screeched and backhanded Sienna with full force causing her cheek to sting and her head to spin.

“I’m not lying.” She
whispered and put a hand to her burning face. No one was listening. No one cared. It was that simple. A loud thumping sound suddenly resonated from the living room followed by a series of echoes of ‘Ouch!’ Meredith was alive. ‘
Great
,’ she thought sarcastically. Everyone went scurrying back to the living room. All the movement was beginning to wreck havoc on Sienna’s foot, the pain only starting to kick in now. They found Meredith scowling on the floor. She did
not
look happy.

“What the hell happened to me?” she snarled as Sienna helped her sit up straight on the leather couch.

“You hit me!” she gasped wide-eyed and winced as her mother placed an ice pack on her forehead. “Not on purpose! I’m sorry.” She apologized feeling genuinely guilty.

“So you should be you crazy bitch! You belong in the psych ward!” Meredith yelled and pushed her away from her. Sienna bit her lip and decided she deserved that dig. Maria sat down in the recently vacated seat next to her daughter and comforted her lovingly. “You okay?” she asked. “I’m fine. No thanks to fruit loops over there.” Meredith replied seething with anger.

“I’m serious mom, she needs to be put in a hospital or a rehab facilitation or somewhere!” Meredith retorted.

“I know, honey. I know.” Maria replied playing the innocent troubled mother card.

“How does all this happen? Do we just drop her off at the nut house? ‘Cos if so, I’ll drive her there right now!” Cora joked. They all began smiling at each other. Sienna just stood there silent as a mouse with the temper of a lion brewing hot in her veins. She felt as though she would explode if she stayed in this house any longer.

“By all means, let’s go! Anywhere but here is perfect because this is the real nut house. You think
I’m
crazy? Hah!” she laughed hysterically.

“
You
are a pathological liar with deep rooted commitment and emotional issues!” she yelled and pointed at her mother. “And
you
are just an antisocially depressed young woman who has such low esteem. Whenever you have any problems you hide from them usually behind Meredith to whom you have clearly share a codependent relationship with, and you end up eating your entire bodyweight in chocolate fudge brownies! And I haven’t even begun about how annoying your OCD is! I mean who irons and folds away socks and underwear? IT’S SOCKS AND UNDERWEAR!” she yelled at Cora and quickly moved on to Meredith.

“And you, Meredith, have severe anger management issues, you possess sadistic qualities that I didn’t even know existed and you’re so prone to violence, you’re like a walking talking poster child for war. Need I say more?” Sienna hissed. She was breathing hard.

“
Me
? I’m the one prone to violence! You’re the one who knocked me out!” she growled. “That was by accident and we both know it! Besides you were trying to pin me down for no reason! And one accident knock out does not equate to all the times you’ve punched me, kicked me in the stomach so hard I thought I was going to puke my vital organs out, scratched me, pulled my hair, and lets not forget the time when you strangled me!” Sienna recalled.

“What? I
haven’t hit you in at least a year! Besides you deserve everything you get!” she replied sounding outraged.

“That’s only ‘cos I’m stronger than you now, and you know it!” Sienna hissed back wishing Meredith had stayed unconscious. “Well if you hate this house so much, why don’t you just go then? GO! GET OUT! NOBODY WANTS YOU HERE! WHY DON’T YOU JUST GO
DIE
SOMEWHERE! JUST DO US ALL A FAVOR AND DROP
DEAD
.
GO
YOU
PATHETIC
LOSER!” Meredith bellowed furiously. Cora and Maria both gave her disgusted sneers. The unholy trinity stuck together as usual no matter what. ‘
The Mother, the Daughter, and the Evil Spirit Cora’
she thought bitterly.

“Why don’t you just go run to your room and cry little girl or better yet kill yourself?” Cora spat out ferociously.

“Oh honey, if I was going to kill myself I’d do it right here out of spite just to see you get down on your knees and wash the blood off the tiles and haunt your ass til kingdom come.” Sienna spat back with even more ferocity. She looked at her sisters and her mother who stared back at her with confusion, disgust and perhaps even a little fear and sighed.

“Fine.
You want me out? Done.” Sienna whispered back and darted out of the house. She ran for what felt like hours but could have only been minutes until she finally got to her designation. “Hi daddy.” She whispered. 

8.

The Haven Falls graveyard was spectacularly spooky complete with all of its tombstones, archaic statues of Angels and demons. Sienna kneeled down on top of his grave and traced the writing on the engraved headstone. “Here lies Phillip Rivers, husband, father, friend. Father? Really well only to the terrible twosome, at least two out of four is not a complete loss. So well done there. If you could see them now you’d be
so
proud.” She said sarcastically.

“But you can’t see them can you? You’re dead. You’re nothing but a decomposing rotting mess of blood and bones. No use to any of us. So here’s to Phil and Sienna Rivers two of the most useless people left in this world!” she cheered holding up an imaginary cup. She then slowly lied down next to her father’s grave not caring for once about the dirt or the insects roaming around in the soil. “Except you’re not in this world anymore. You left. You left me alone with nothing but a broken home to go along with my broken heart.” She sighed as fresh warm tears wet the soil beneath her cheek.

“I don’t know if I believe in heaven or hell but wherever you are I hope it’s better than here. This Trojan horse of an earth is so beautiful on the surface but buried deep within is
evil
and anger and bitter disappointment lurking around waiting to jump out and attack mercilessly at any given unsuspecting moment.” Sienna lay in silence for quite some time without moving. The cool night air would have normally sent Sienna shivering back home but tonight Sienna felt eerily calm and tranquil. A feeling she rarely experienced.

“Meredith can’t find a job. I blame the economy I guess. Either that or the fact that she won’t apply anywhere and is currently sitting at home waiting for someone to hand her a career on a silver platter. I think she means you God.” Sienna said and pointed up at the sky. Sienna put an arm behind her head and leaned her back against the ground. The dark night sky was riddled with tiny specks of light. Starlight. It was a pretty sight.  The moon was missing tonight from her view, perhaps he was too busy tonight washing his hair to watch a mentally unstable seventeen year old have a manic episode. Sienna looked over to the east and spotted the big silver stud in the sky smiling down at her knowingly as if he could hear her thoughts. Maybe he didn’t have anything better to do than look down at helpless mere mortals.

“And Cora’s still in community college, still completely depressed with life especially after you bit the dust. Great timing dad, you couldn’t have waited at least another twenty years? Oh and mom’s an alcoholic just FYI. That’s young people talk for ‘for your information’ dad. Guess your death hit her pretty hard too. Annie misses you like crazy. She keeps a picture of you beneath her pillow and kisses it every night before she sleeps. I think somehow that comforts her.” Sienna explained. She waited a few moments before continuing her rant. “And me, you ask?” she asked shakily.

“I am officially broke, homeless and now I’ve apparently taken up the creepy habit of talking to dead people.
Wonderful
. But enough of me, who wants to talk about me? All I’d do is make you want to fork out your own eyeballs and wear them as earrings as I bore you with the sad tales of a misunderstood unloved unwanted teenager. Save me the story, I know right? Just skip and watch the movie, that’s what I always do. Okay that’s a lie, I’m a nerd I always read the book first.” She giggled and looked to her right hand side as if her father were lying right beside her just like they used to whenever they went stargazing when she was a kid. “I think this is the longest conversation we’ve ever had.” She said quietly.

“You were always to busy pursuing your love affair with work which amounted to not very much seeing as I’ve got no college money for next year.  Mom was always too busy engaging in her actual love affairs and I was left with two older siblings hurt and neglected by the lack of presence from their parents that they took out all their rage and anger out on me.” She said matter-of-factly.

“The truth is I’m just tired. I just want to rest in peace. I just want to sleep.” She said and slowly got up and stretched her arms and legs. She then grabbed a shovel that was placed nearby behind a wheelbarrow full of compost bags and seed packets and began digging up the soil near her father’s grave.

“Dig deep. Dig deep. Dig deep.” She muttered to herself almost robotically as she heaved the shovel deeper within the ground and hurled the soil to the large heap of dirt she had compiled to her right hand side.  The voices had come back now whispering over each other in hushed murmurs making absolutely no sense, but for once there was no pain. No blinding migraines. No ringing sounds, just peace and quiet. In fact, Sienna couldn’t remember the last time she had felt so euphoric. Her mind was refreshed and so clear of any bad depressing thoughts. This was the best idea she had ever conceived. This was brilliant.

Why didn’t I think of this earlier?
She thought momentarily reprimanding herself. Sienna jumped in to the ditch she was building for herself. The dirt beneath her feet was cold but she didn’t mind. She didn’t exactly expect there to be central heating in the grave.  She continued whistling One Republic’s ‘Good Life’ song to herself as she continued to dig and dig until her arms grew tired and she threw the shovel upwards and lay down. It was almost as soon as her back hit the soil Sienna felt like she was drowning in her mixed emotions as the song flew in her head. Her heart thudded thunderously, her hands were clammy with cold sweat and her entire body shook with nerves.

“What’s happening to me?” she whispered as her eyes looked around frantically. She dug her fingers deep within the soil. She couldn’t feel a thing. She was numb. “You already know.” A familiar deep voice answered.

“Dad?” Sienna gasped as she saw the figure above her. He wore exactly the same clothes as he had the last day she had seen him; a crisp white shirt, khaki pants and salt and pepper hair and a five o clock shadow indicating he needed a shave as usual.
Oh, and he also had half of his skull blown off, with his brain matter and blood splayed all over his clothes. Not that it mattered. She was just glad he was there.

“Hello, sweetheart.” He said with such warm love and affection in his voice. “Dad, is this a dream?” she asked and sat up and let him pull her up out of the ditch.

“I’m not sure.” He whispered and looked around at the seemingly deserted cemetery. He barely got the chance to answer before his daughter wrapped her arms around him sobbing hysterically. He put his arms around her as she cried. He couldn’t help but tear up along with her as he heard the sound of heart breaking all over again.

“I know, sweetheart. I know.” He cooed as he petted her head as he often did whenever she fell down as a child and hurt herself. No one could settle her down or set her off faster than he could. Well, other than Logan.