Beyond Broken (The Bay Boys #3) (24 page)

“What she did to me.
 
You
know
.”
 
He slid down the bathroom wall, like his body was too heavy, and Maddie crouched down in front of him.
 
He shook his head.
 
“You know why I sleep there?”

“Where?”

He pointed out the bathroom door and Maddie guessed that he meant the living room.
 
“She never touched me there.”

A strange sound rang in her ears and then she heard a muffled sob.
 
She only realized it had come from her when Caleb raised his head.
 
She didn’t know what to say, what to think.
 
All she wanted to do was embrace him, but she couldn’t even do that.

“I wish,” she whispered, “that—”

She cut herself off.
 
Wished what?
 
That she’d known?
 
That she could’ve stopped it?
 
What would she have said?
 
If Caleb’s uncle was his guardian and his own wife was doing sick things to his nephew, would Caleb have been taken away?
 
Is that why he hadn’t told anyone?

“I wish I could’ve been there for you,” she finally settled on.

Caleb closed his eyes and gave a heavy sigh.
 
“I wouldn’t have wanted that for you.
 
You shouldn’t even be here
now
.”

His words confused her and she’d just opened her mouth to ask him why when the doorbell rang.

“What the hell,” he murmured.

“It’s the food,” she told him.
 
For a moment, she debated ignoring the door so that she could stay with him.
 
But when the doorbell rang again a minute later, she pushed off the floor and told him, “I’ll be right back.”

She tugged open the front door and rifled through her purse for a twenty, telling the teenaged driver to keep the change.
 
Setting the hot pizza box and the liter of club soda on the living room table, she went back to the bathroom, only to find that Caleb had shut the door.
 
Maddie heard the shower running and only briefly waited before returning to the living room.
 
Her appetite had disappeared after what Caleb told her, so she perched on the couch and stared at the dark screen of the TV.

Maddie was just about to go check on him when he appeared in the doorway, freshly showered, but pale.
 
He’d probably thrown up again, so Maddie poured him a glass of the club soda she’d ordered to settle his stomach.
 
She gave him a small smile when he drank it down.
 
Hopefully it would make him feel better.
 
Or, at the very least, hydrate him.

His dark hair looked black when it was wet and she realized he’d pulled on a fresh pair of dark grey sweats and yet another black t-shirt.
 
How many black t-shirts did this man own?

She nodded over to the pizza box.
 
“Do you want to try and eat?”

He looked queasy at the suggestion.
 
“No.”

She shrugged.
 
“Well, you can have some in the morning.
 
Greasy pizza is always good for hangovers.”

“Speaking from experience?” he asked, collapsing on the couch.
 
He ended up partially on the arm rest because he’d misjudged the distance, but didn’t seem to care.

“Everyone has their drunken college days.”

His eyes closed again and he rested his head on the back of the couch.
 
“Never went to college.”

“Oh, right,” she whispered, wanting to smack herself.
 
She wondered if Caleb had
wanted
to go to college, but didn’t because of his uncle’s business.

Maddie stood there awkwardly, wondering if she should leave or stay.
 
He seemed better than when they’d arrived at his house and she was certain that he’d be able to take care of himself now, even though she’d been fussing over him like a mother hen.

For a second, Maddie thought he’d fallen asleep again, but then he murmured, “Tell me something.”

“What about?” she asked, gently lowering herself onto the couch.

“Anything.”
 
He let out a loud breath.
 
“Tell me a good thing.
 
From when you were young.
 
Something that made you happy.”

Something that had made her happy from when she was young?
 
Maddie’s heart ached as she thought over his request.
 
Did he want to know because his younger years
hadn’t
been happy?
 
From what he’d told her in the bathroom, it was easy for Maddie to believe.

She thought about it, searching through memories, although most were fragmented or broken from when she was a child.
 
But then she hit on the perfect one and right as Caleb shifted his head to look at her, she smiled.

“I could tell you about my tenth birthday.”

“Okay.”

“Um,” she said, tucking a hair behind her ear.
 
“Well, my mom planned this huge party.
 
She loves organizing events and playing hostess.
 
All my friends and their parents and all the neighbors were invited.
 
There must’ve been a hundred people packed in our backyard that day.
 
At least, it seemed that way to me.
 
Everything looks bigger when you’re younger, you know?

“I wore this frilly pink dress that day.
 
My mom kept it and I found it before I left for college when I was cleaning out my room.
 
It was the most hideous thing you’ve ever seen, looking back on it, but I loved that dress.
 
I couldn’t wait to wear it for my birthday and I pranced around our backyard and pretended I was some fairy princess.”
 
She smiled.
 
“And then I think I cried because one of the neighbor boys spilled juice on it and it stained.”

Caleb made a sound in the back of his throat and it might even have been a laugh.

“It was still a good day though.
 
My mom hired this bouncy house for the kids.
 
I don’t think I saw Thomas at all that day because he stayed in there with his friends.
 
My dad was video taping the whole thing when he wasn’t barbecuing and I remember that my mom was running around like a chicken with its head cut off.
 
But my favorite thing about that day was this beautiful music box my dad gave me.
 
I still remember it.
 
It was pink and gold and when you pulled the top up, there was a little carousel inside that would go round and round.
 
I think it was probably the most beautiful thing I’ve ever owned.
 
I remember it being really heavy too, but my dad said that made it harder to break, which wasn’t necessarily true considering that my mom broke it years later when she was dusting and it fell to the ground.
 
It never worked right afterwards and eventually, it stopped working altogether, around the time my father died.”
 
Maddie sighed.
 
“But every night until then, I would fall asleep to it.
 
For
years
.
 
Sometimes, I still miss it.
 
It was like a baby blanket or a teddy bear, you know?
 
Something that was comforting and nice to have.”
 
She looked over at Caleb, only to find that he was still watching her.
 
“Did you ever have something like that?”

He blinked and furrowed his brow.
 
“No.”

Maddie smiled sadly.
 
She hadn’t really expected a different answer.
 
She couldn’t exactly picture Caleb, young or not, cuddling a stuffed animal or a ratty old blanket as he slept.
 
In fact, she couldn’t even picture him as a child at all, being young and silly and naive.
 
She wondered what he’d been like, who his friends had been, if he’d gotten into a lot of trouble, whether he’d liked to play outside or indoors, whether he’d been as serious and prickly as he was now.

She didn’t know much about him at all when it came down to it.
 
But she liked to think that she’d uncovered a little about the man sitting next to her over the past week and a half.
 
And she could be content with that.

At least until he offered her something more.
 
If he ever did.

TWENTY-ONE

Caleb was warm when he woke up the next morning.
 
His mouth was dry, his head was pounding, his arm was numb, but he was warm, which was an abnormal feeling considering he hadn’t turned on the heat last night and it was November.

When a familiar scent hit him and he opened his eyes only to see a mass of brown hair he’d nuzzled into, clarity struck.
 
His arm was numb because Maddie was using it as a pillow and he was warm because their bodies were pressed so closely together, not an inch of space was between them.

For a moment, Caleb froze.
 
His mind replayed the events of last night, as best as he could at least, considering his pounding headache, and was only mildly relieved that nothing happened between the two of them.
 
Or disappointed.
 
He couldn’t tell.

What he did remember was drinking himself into oblivion in the garage.
 
Everything else was fuzzy until he was bent over the toilet and the panic he experienced when he felt someone touch him.
 
It had been Maddie, of course, but for a brief hazy moment, he thought it’d been someone else.

He squeezed his eyes tight when he remembered the things he’d told Maddie, sitting on the bathroom floor.
 
Jesus.
 
He didn’t think he’d gone into details, but he remembered the look on her face.
 
The hitch in her breath like she’d been on the verge of tears.
 
And he remembered being ashamed because he didn’t want her pity.
 
Certainly not hers.

The last thing he remembered was Maddie’s story.
 
He liked listening to her voice and he liked the way she smiled a secretive smile every now and again.
 
And he liked how happy her childhood seemed, if not a little jealous.
 
What would he have been like if he’d grown up in a family like hers, where his parents weren’t alcoholics and druggies, or his sick bitch of an aunt hadn’t sexually abused him for two fucking years?

Caleb allowed himself to lie there, allowed himself to feel her warmth, savor her smell, because he knew that this wouldn’t happen again.
 
He didn’t remember falling asleep, but he must’ve passed out shortly after her story because he didn’t remember anything else.

Judging from the light pooling into the living room, it was only early morning, but Caleb knew he’d overslept.
 
Usually, by now, he’d have been outside on his morning run.
 
He liked the feeling of the icy air stinging his lungs.
 
Whenever he returned, he felt refreshed, new.

Even with a hangover, Caleb wouldn’t be able to function properly without his run.
 
It calmed and centered him.
 
He was the first to admit his addiction.

So, slowly, he pulled away from Maddie.
 
They were both squeezed onto his couch, so it proved more difficult than he anticipated, but eventually he untangled himself.
 
He stood over her, memorizing the softness of her face, the way her lips were parted in sleep, the dark lashes that fanned out over her cheek.
 
A part of him couldn’t believe that she was here, in his uncle’s house, sleeping on his couch.
 
He would wake up any moment from this sweet dream and be thrust back into a lonely reality.

He knew that in his dreams, though, he wouldn’t have a headache that felt like a jackhammer.
 
After pulling the blanket over Maddie, he turned down the hallway to prepare for his run.
 
He popped some painkillers, chugged some water, brushed his teeth, and laced up his shoes.

And then he was off.

*
   
*
   
*

Maddie woke up alone and more than a little cold.

Slowly sitting up, she glanced around, searching for Caleb.
 
He wasn’t in the kitchen and the rest of the house was eerily quiet.

“Caleb?” she called out hesitantly.
 
Her voice seemed to echo and she received no reply.
 
Frowning, she wondered where he’d gone off to.
 
His car was still back at the garage but surely he wouldn’t just leave her there.
 
She pushed off the couch to check and see if his keys were still on the entryway table, where she’d put them last night, but they were gone.

Biting her lip, she tried not to be too hurt.
 
It wasn’t like she expected anything because of last night, except, perhaps, a simple thank you.
 
She didn’t even have his cell phone number, so she could call and figure out how she was supposed to lock up his house with no keys.

She hadn’t meant to fall asleep last night.
 
Then she woke up in the middle of night and found Caleb pressed up against her, his breaths fanning out over the back of her neck, and she didn’t have the will or the heart to move.
 
So, she let herself drift back to sleep, in the arms of the man she cared too much about.

And now, he was gone.

Muttering to herself, she went to the bathroom down the hall.
 
She splashed her face with water and didn’t even feel guilty when she rummaged through his medicine cabinet, looking for a spare toothbrush or mouthwash.
 
He owed her fresh breath and clean teeth, at the very least.