Beyond Broken (The Bay Boys #3) (11 page)

TEN

Caleb hated going home at night.
 
As he pulled up to his uncle’s house—now, his house, he supposed—he stayed inside his car, not opening the garage door, just lingering on the driveway and staring.
 
For so long, this house had been his own personal hell.
 
In high school, he hated coming home too.
 
He stayed out late, only to sneak in in the early hours of morning, hoping that his aunt would be asleep.
 
He would wake up at the break of dawn to leave.
 
Sometimes, he went for a week—maybe two, if he was lucky—without seeing her.
 
But, in the end, she always found him.

His hands clenched on the steering wheel, trying to calm his breath.
 
Every night, he struggled with this.
 
It would take him a good twenty minutes, sometimes an hour, before he’d open the garage door and pull inside.
 
He hated this place.
 
Even more now, because it was where his uncle had spent the majority of his sickness.
 
It was where he’d died.
 
It was where Caleb had seen him so diminished and where Caleb had felt the most helpless.
 
He hated nothing more fiercely than feeling helpless.
 
It was an emotion he knew too well.

To take his mind away from the house, he thought about Maddie.
 
For a brief moment tonight, Caleb had almost said
fuck it
and kissed her.
 
He wouldn’t have stopped there.
 
He would’ve stripped her down and pushed her back on the floor.
 
He would’ve found peace between her thighs.
 
He almost imagined that he would’ve fucked her gently, like how he thought she deserved.
 
Or maybe he’d start out gently, but by the end, he wouldn’t have been able to hold himself back any longer and he’d spend himself deep inside, her walls clenching around him, milking him dry.

Caleb squeezed his eyes shut, bringing a hand to his head to pinch the space between his brows.
 
Fuck, he wanted her.
 
He barely knew her, but his cock didn’t seem to mind.
 
What worried him the most was that he
wanted
to kiss her.
 
He hadn’t kissed a woman since Victoria, the fourth and last woman to betray him.
 
But, during that strange moment between him and Maddie, he’d wanted to taste her lips, to nibble on them, to explore the heat of her mouth.

Maddie would’ve let him.
 
Her skin had been soft—so
damn
soft—when he brushed her cheek.
 
What had possessed him to do that, he didn’t know.
 
Now, he wondered if she was just as soft everywhere else.
 
Would her eyes widen like they did tonight if he kissed down her body?
 
Would her breath quicken when he suckled at her breast?
 
Would her cheeks flush when he lapped at her opening, tasting her juices?

With a growl, he backed out of the driveway.
 
He didn’t want to go into the house, he realized.
 
Not tonight.
 
What he wanted was to track down Maddie and finish what could’ve happened in his office tonight.

But he wouldn’t.
 
Instead, he headed towards Alex’s house.
 
He could stay there tonight.

Alex was one of his closest friends.
 
They’d met years ago and Alex had been the first friend he’d ever willingly told his past to.
 
Instead of judgment and pity, like he expected, Alex had done neither.
 
He’d accepted it and moved on.

Alex didn’t seem surprised to see him when he opened his front door a half hour later and saw Caleb standing there.

“You want a beer?” was all he asked.

Caleb nodded and stepped inside.

Olivia, Alex’s girlfriend, was sitting on the couch, reading.
 
She looked up and gave him a small smile.
 
“Oh, hi Caleb.”

Out of all his friend’s girlfriends, Caleb liked Olivia the best.
 
She was curvy and beautiful, with dark hair and clear blue eyes.
 
Caleb and Olivia had gotten off to a rocky start in the beginning of their friendship.
 
Alex told him later that he’d unsettled her when they first met, which had been Caleb’s intention.
 
His friends knew all about his strange relationship with women and he didn’t want to get close to their girlfriends, mostly because he didn’t trust them not to fuck his friends over.
 
Perhaps that was bitterness talking, but Caleb couldn’t help it.

He knew that Olivia would never hurt Alex willingly, in the same way that Alex would never hurt Olivia.
 
It had been a little over a year since they first met and Caleb knew Alex would be popping the question soon.
 
Hell, he already had the ring.

Alex returned to the living room, holding out a cold beer, before settling himself next to Olivia, pulling her close.
 
Caleb took a seat in the dark brown leather armchair adjacent to the couch.
 
Already, he found himself relaxing.
 
He’d come over, unannounced, more times than he cared to admit, but they always welcomed him.
 
Alex knew how hard it was for him to go home some nights.
 
Sometimes, he stayed the night in their guest room.
 
He had a feeling that was where he was headed tonight.

“How’s work been?” Olivia asked, bookmarking her book and placing it on the coffee table in front of her.
 
The television was on, playing football highlights.

Caleb shrugged.
 
“I never realized how much administrative work there is.
 
I haven’t touched an engine in months.”
 
His uncle hadn’t realized how much administrative work was required either considering the state of his office.
 
Caleb was cleaning up their records, but his uncle had done a half-ass job.
 
He should’ve hired an office assistant years ago, something that Caleb planned on doing once the bookkeeping was up-to-date.

“Alex told me you hired someone to help organize the office.”

“Not exactly,” Caleb said, taking a long swallow of beer.
 
“She’s paying off her car repairs.”

Caleb hated the way Alex’s brows shot up in surprise.
 
“
She
?
 
How old is she?”

“I don’t know.
 
A few years younger than me, I’d guess.”

“Since when have you let a woman work closely with you?”

“Since never,” Caleb almost growled.
 
“Trust me, I don’t know how it happened either.”

Actually, that was a lie.
 
He knew exactly how it had happened.
 
Maddie had turned those big brown eyes on him and he’d gone completely stupid in the head.
 
Fuck
.

“What’s her name?” Olivia asked curiously.

Caleb looked down at his hands.
 
“Maddie.”

“Holy shit,” Alex muttered, his tone one of disbelief.
 
“You want this girl, don’t you?
 
Did you fuck her already?”

“Alex!” Olivia snapped, shooting him a look.
 
“What the hell is wrong with you?”

But Alex had already latched on, just like the sales executive he was.
 
“She got one over on you, didn’t she?
 
Why else would she be working at your garage?
 
Man, when can we meet her?”

“Never,” Caleb snapped, his jaw clenching in irritation.
 
Why had he come here again?
 
“There’s nothing going on.
 
She’s the most annoying, irritating, stubborn woman I’ve ever met.”
 
The lies were dropping from his mouth like stones.
 
He scowled.
 
“And even if I do fuck her, that’s all it’d ever be.”

“Caleb!” Olivia snapped.
 
“Jesus, I can’t believe you guys sometimes.
 
You guys are worse than Luke.”

In response, Alex grinned and Caleb tipped up his beer.
 
Olivia sighed, shaking her head, but Caleb didn’t miss the way her smile curved up slightly at the corners, like she was amused but trying to hide it.
 
Alex nuzzled his head into her neck, dropping a kiss.

“I’m sorry, darling,” he murmured.
 
“I can make it up to you later.”

Caleb barely refrained from rolling his eyes.
 
Maybe he wouldn’t stay the night, after all.

“That’s if you get anything later,” Olivia said back, matching his tone, her eyes twinkling.

Alex groaned, shooting Caleb a dark look, looking like he was on the verge of pouting.
 
“I’m mistreated, as you can obviously see.”

“Obviously,” Caleb drawled, trying to ignore the stab of jealousy that went through him.
 
Often, he’d wondered what it would be like to be in a relationship like Alex and Olivia’s.
 
Like any of his friend’s relationship, for that matter.

He knew that he wouldn’t work right in a relationship.
 
There were things that he needed that no sane woman would allow regularly.
 
He was taciturn with a quick temper and had enough baggage to fill even Alex’s massive house.
 
He didn’t even know if he could love someone anymore.
 
He thought he’d been in love not once, but twice, with Charlotte, his high school girlfriend, and Victoria.
 
How wrong he’d been.

He knew he had no business wanting or needing a relationship.
 
He didn’t even really think he wanted one.
 
But it was hard not to imagine it when he was around his friends, who were all in happy relationships with good women.

A white mass of fur suddenly rubbed against Caleb’s leg and he reached down, plucking Bubbles, Alex and Olivia’s cat, off the floor.
 
He’d always liked animals.
 
They’d never fucked him over and only wanted to be touched and fed.
 
Much like men, actually, now that he thought about it.

Bubbles curled up in his lap and Olivia said, “She’s always liked you.”

“Yeah, she likes you better than she likes me and I’ve been feeding her all her damn life,” Alex grumbled.
 
Olivia laughed and Caleb couldn’t help but crack a smile.
 
Bubbles had been a stray kitten and always hung around Alex’s house.
 
He’d fed her, but when he started dating Olivia, she’d made him take her in for good.

Now, the happy cat purred on Caleb’s lap as he scratched under her chin.

“Ever think about getting a pet?” Olivia asked, watching the two of them.

“No,” he said, shaking his head.
 
“I’m never home.
 
It wouldn’t be fair.
 
And I still don’t know what I’m going to do about the house.”

“I know someone who said they would help you sell it,” Alex said, clearing his throat.
 
“If you wanted to, that is.”

Caleb didn’t know if Alex had told Olivia about his past, but something told him that he hadn’t.
 
The two men exchanged looks.
 
Alex knew how much Caleb hated that house, but he didn’t understand why Caleb was hesitant to sell it.

“I don’t know,” he murmured.
 
His uncle had loved that house.
 
It had been in the family for a long time.
 
It felt like a betrayal to sell it.
 
“I’m thinking about renovating it and renting it out.
 
I don’t want to live there, but I don’t know if I can sell.
 
It’s something I need to think about.”

Alex nodded.
 
“Luke knows plenty of contractors then.”
 
Luke would, considering his family owned one of the largest construction companies in the United States, with a bank account to prove it.
 
“Where are you going to live?”

Caleb had given up his lease on his apartment to move in with his uncle during those last few months.

“I’m planning to buy, to start putting money into a place.
 
Once I’m done boxing up the house and putting everything in storage, I’ll start looking.”
 
He’d had the idea for quite some time, before his uncle had even been diagnosed.
 
He wanted a place for himself, something that no one could take away.
 
A place that he
wanted
to come home to at night.

For some disturbing reason, his mind conjured up a picture of Maddie.
 
He allowed himself to imagine being with her,
truly
being with her, if only briefly.
 
What would it be like to go home to her, knowing that she was waiting for him?
 
Would they sit comfortably on the couch, in silence, like Alex and Olivia?
 
Would Maddie be reading a textbook while he watched a game?
 
And when they went to bed at night, would she like being tied up, perfectly exposed to him so that he could play?

You’re being a fool
, he told himself, pushing away the thought.
 
It was an unattainable fantasy, one he didn’t even want.
 
Or need.

Like he told Alex, if he was going to fuck her, that was all it’d ever be.
 
No strings attached, just how he liked it.

Much later that night, he did end up returning to his uncle’s house, despite Olivia insisting he could stay.
 
He realized that he couldn’t keep running away.
 
He stuck to the living room and the kitchen, not venturing into any of the bedrooms, even his own.
 
And as he tried to get some sleep on the couch, the television illuminating the dark room, he thought about his fantasy of Maddie and it helped him fall asleep in relative peace.