Authors: Sharlay
“When is the last time that you came here?” I ask.
He doesn’t answer. I am shocked when I see the tears rolling down his cheeks.
“It’s ok,” I try and reassure him but he shakes his head.
“No, it’s not. I’m a coward, Paige.”
“That’s not true.”
“Then tell me why I’ve never done this before?”
“I don’t understand...”
“I’ve never been here. I never went to their funerals and I never came to visit them. I left them alone all this time.”
“You’re here now. And they are not here, anyway. They’re right
here
,” I say placing my hand over his heart. He looks at me with bloodshot eyes for a moment before placing his hand on top of mine. He leans his head back and closes his eyes.
“We can go home. We don’t have to do this today.”
“I do, because I love you. I need to let her know that. I need to tell her the truth.”
Now, I don’t say anything. I sit back, understanding why this is so important to him.
“Do you want me to come?”
“Yes.”
“Ok.” I watch as his breathing slowly calms down and his tears dry up. We step out of the car ten minutes later. I walk around the vehicle and put my hand in his. He is shaking and I give his hand a little squeeze as we walk side by side. We walk straight up to a gravestone and my eyes instantly land on the names etched into the marble...
Marie Louise Matthews
&
Stacey Marie Black
I look at the names written on the gravestone and my heart literally hurts. I feel him take a deep breath before he steps forward. He just stares silently, looking down at everything that he lost. He looks numb. He suddenly falls to his knees in front of them and just cries. I don’t invade his moment, instead, I just stand back and watch. His shoulders jerk up and down as he sobs. I hear him say the word
sorry
over and over again as he clutches onto the marble with his hands. I feel the tears rolling down my cheeks and I try to ignore the feeling of sickness. Part of me wants to turn away and not see him in pain, but I know that he needs me to see this. He needs me to be a part of this just as much as he is.
The sounds slowly disperse and I watch as he spreads his fingers over Marie’s name. I listen carefully as he whispers something.
“I’ve missed you so much. Sometimes it hurt so bad that I considered taking my own life. I didn’t want to live in a world where you didn’t exist. I didn’t think that I could survive. Every day the pain got worse. I thought that it would never get better...but it did. It finally became bearable and I tried so hard to
feel
the pain again because I didn’t want to betray you, but no matter what I did, nothing changed. My heart didn’t hurt as bad. And it’s because of her; the girl standing right there. Her name is Paige...and I love her...and I hope that it’s ok with you because my heart can’t stop loving her. Believe me, I’ve tried to make it stop but it’s impossible.” The tears fall down my face faster at his words. “I love her so damn much, Marie. Every minute that I’m with her the pain gets better. My heart doesn’t hurt as much. I feel like I can live again. I’ll never stop loving you. I’ll never forget you, I promise. You will always live in my heart...but she owns it and I hope that you can understand that. Goodbye, baby...” He leans forward and presses his lips to her name. I close my eyes for a moment. His words penetrate my heart and I fall deeper in love. My eyes open at the sound of his voice.
“I may have never known you, but I held you in my arms and I loved you from the moment that I laid eyes on you. You will always be my princess. Daddy’s beautiful little girl. One day we’ll see each other again and you can tell me what it’s like to be an angel. I love you, so much. Goodbye.”
I watch him intently as he rises to his feet. He turns slowly and just stares into my eyes. My breathing increases and my heart swells. I run into his arms and he holds onto me like he can’t survive without me. I cry into his shoulder and he holds me tighter. I slowly pull away and look into his eyes.
“Taylor...what you said...it was beautiful.”
“I meant every word, Paige.” He takes my hand and places it over his heart. “Every minute that I’m with you, I feel it healing.”
My eyes are blurry from the tears. He lifts his hands to my cheeks and gently wipes away the tears.
“Don’t cry, baby.”
“I can’t help it.”
“I want to make you happy, Paige. I don’t want you to feel like you have to hurt anymore. This was never about Rick or the Taylor from your dreams...it was never a choice between them. It was about me and you. It was about us. I think that it was always supposed to be this way.” I nod in agreement. “It ripped me apart. Watching them both die. Living seemed pointless, but I would do everything again if I knew that this is how it was supposed to be. I could endure all of the pain in the world if it meant that I could feel this even for just a moment.”
“So would I.”
My lips smash into his. I can’t say anything that will make more sense than what I am saying right now. His tongue plunges into my mouth and he holds me tighter. My breathing has accelerated and my hands are trying to grab at him. I want to touch him...everywhere. I want to feel him. I feel my back hit something. My eyes open for a second and I realize that it is the car. His kiss changes. It slows down. I taste his tears on my lips. I feel his emotion. “I love you so much,” he whispers between kisses. He says it countless times and I drink it in. We kiss until we have no energy left...until I have no breath left. He rests his forehead against mine and smiles.
“I want to paint a beautiful future with you, Paige. I want you to be my forever.”
“I want that, too,” I whisper.
“Then let’s do it...”
EPILOGUE
PAIGE’S STORY
Taylor’s POV
1 YEAR LATER
I
’m holding onto her hand but the nerves are driving me crazy. I look at her reassuringly, but I can’t stop looking at what is happening. I feel sick to my stomach. I’ve been preparing for this moment for what feels like forever but I still don’t feel ready. I’m terrified of getting it wrong.
Then I hear it.
The sound that changes the world as I’ve known it, forever.
One single wail and my life is more complete than it’s ever been. “It’s a healthy baby boy,” the midwife smiles. “Do you want to hold him?” She asks Paige. Paige doesn’t say anything but just nods her head in amazement. She places his tiny body onto Paige’s chest and she wraps her arms protectively around him. I watch her in awe as she holds our son.
My son.
I take a step closer to the bed. A wave of unconditional love swoops over me and I cannot speak. I cannot breathe. I can only stare.
The look on Paige’s face is something that I’ve never seen before. It’s a look of pure love that only a parent can feel for their child. And I get it. She looks down at him like he is the best achievement that she has ever made.
“He’s beautiful,” I whisper, looking down at the two people that I love the most in the world.
“He’s so tiny, Tay.”
“Yeah.”
“We made him,” she says in disbelief. “We created him, can you believe it?”
I take my pinky finger and gently move aside the blanket that he is wrapped in to take a closer look. I repeat her question in my head. I
can’t
believe it. I stare at him and he just doesn’t make sense. He’s so perfect. I swear in that moment to lay down my life before I ever let any harm come to him. I kiss the top of Paige’s head and she smiles at me. “Do you want to hold him?”
I don’t answer straight away. I’m terrified that I’ll drop him.
“You won’t drop him,” she says, as if she can read my thoughts. It doesn’t surprise me, she always knows what I’m thinking, I’ve discovered that over this past year that we have been together. She gets me in a way that no one else ever has. She was made for me. I’m sure of it. I nod. She lifts him up to me and I scoop him up carefully in my arms. He barely weighs a thing. I look down at him and he opens his eyes and stares at me.
“Hey little guy, welcome to the world. I’m your daddy.” He yawns and stretches out his tiny arms. I smile down and wonder what he will grow up to be. What will he be like?
I walk back over to Paige and sit on the edge of her bed. I smile down at her. “Thank you,” I whisper.
“We both did this,” she says.
“No, thank you for everything. A year ago, I wouldn’t have thought that I could feel this much love. It’s just...”
“Overwhelming,” she finishes. I nod.
I realize something in that moment as I hold my son in my arms and look at the woman that I love. Life can break you, but there is something about the power of love--no matter what form --that can completely heal you. It can pick you back up and change everything that you ever questioned. Paige taught me that. Her forgiveness showed me exactly what real love was and now as I sit here and stare at this amazing little boy that I created, I realize that I still haven’t experienced every form of love that there is out there. There’s more and I am learning about it every day. Until then, I vow to appreciate what I have and to always love unconditionally, because above all, when everything else dies, when things fail and the world falls apart, the one thing that can never be taken away from you is love. No matter what...it will always belong to you and it is always yours to give.
“Hey,” she whispers, placing her hand on my arm. “He needs a name.”
“Nikhil,” I say without hesitation.
“Nikhil?” She asks.
“It means
complete
,” I say simply. She just smiles at me and I love the way she still makes me feel.
“It’s perfect,” she whispers, slipping her finger into the palm of his hand. “Welcome to the world, baby Nikhil.”
She loosens her finger and strokes my face. “We did good.”
“We did perfect,” I say.
“I love you.” She breathes as her finger strokes the side of my face.
I look into her eyes and I know that I’m staring at my forever. “I love you, too, both of you. More than you will ever know...”
About the Author
Author of Romance Books with a twist...
Sharlay is a British author who released her first book, PRETEND in 2012 following its huge success after uploading it in draft form to the free and popular writing site, Wattpad. After the book received millions of views (to date the book has exceeded 8 million views) and became a finalist in the site's annual contest, fans wanted to know where they could obtain the paperback and ebook version. This began Sharlay's journey as a self published author.
Sharlay is also one of the very few authors with a single pen name. At heart, she is a storyteller and loves to write in any genre but always loves to include an element of romance. Her books have fallen into the Young Adult and New Adult romance genre and will most definitely give you a HEA.
Sharlay loves her family, friends, amazing readers and God. She is extremely blessed and privileged to be living her dream!
Find Sharlay on...
Acknowledgments
This was one of the most emotional books that I have ever written. I loved writing Paige’s story and I hope that it touches as many lives as possible. I walked away from it realizing the true power of love! So with that said, firstly I have to thank God. The fact that you have allowed me to do what I love in life is such a beautiful blessing. Allowing me to potentially touch the lives of others is an absolute bonus. I thank you for the stories that you allow me to write, it is such an honor. There is no love like yours...I love you.
To my family...Mom, Dad, Ren and Ty. You each inspire me so much. You push me to want more and to believe that I can get it. Mom, your constant words of encouragement keep me believing that I can do anything! You never put a limit on my life and you love me unconditionally, thank you! Dad, you are always there for me, you support the decisions that I have made for my life and I thank you. Ty, you’re always eager to know what’s happening in the next book and have to endure me reading long passages to you late at night! I love you, bro! To Ren, my sister, my best friend. Thank you for being the BETTER reader lol You always support and believe in me, I love you! I could never achieve even a fraction of what I have without you guys behind me. Your unconditional love and support is the most precious gift that I could ever ask for. I love you all!
To my church family, thank you for your constant prayers and words of encouragement.
To my amazing BETA readers Derna, Holly, Kylie, Nicole and Shyan...I love you guys! This book wouldn’t even be where it is without your input and advice. Thank you for believing in me enough to take the time out to read it and make it the story that it is today!