Authors: Sharlay
“Paige.”
I blink my eyes and try to focus on the face looking down at me. It’s so close that it takes me a while to make it out.
Taylor.
His eyes are filled with worry, yet he looks relieved at the same time.
“Hey,” he whispers. “Can you tell me how many fingers I’m holding up?” I glance at his hand.
“Three.”
“Good. Does anything hurt?”
I take a moment to focus on my body.
“Just my head, a little.”
“Do you remember what happened?” He asks nervously.
“Yes, I just came back from the kitchen with Jessica to bring your drinks and then I felt a little light headed. Everything went black. I’m guessing I fainted,” I say before adding in a whispered voice, “unless I’m dreaming again.”
I see a slight smirk form across his lips as he looks down at me. My heart does a funny jump and I realize that it’s the first time that
real
Taylor has actually smiled at me. I suddenly become all too aware of the fact that I am lying on the floor in his arms and that there is an audience.
“Can you help me up?” I say.
“Yeah, just take it easy, ok?”
“Ok,” I reply before allowing him to lift me to my feet. My head still feels a little strange and I rub it gently to lessen the pain.
“Are you ok?” He asks placing his hand on my head and examining it.
“Yes, just got a little headache.”
“Ah, Ms Carter, you gave us quite the fright there,” Alfred adds looking concerned.
“Yeah, thank God, Taylor was here, I couldn’t stop panicking,” Jessica adds.
“I’m sorry, guys. I’ve kind of lost my appetite lately and I skipped breakfast this morning. I probably just need to get some food into my system.”
“Yes, that sounds like a grand idea. You should probably go home and get some rest too.” Alfred suggests.
“No, no, I’ll be fine.”
“No, you won’t. You need to go home,” Taylor adds firmly. There’s something about his tone that is so commanding that I almost want to squirm under his gaze. His dark eyes are piercing mine and the thought of arguing seems less appealing.
“I agree.” Jessica says.
“I can’t leave you alone.”
“I won’t be, I’ve already called Rick and he’s on his way back.”
“And I will stay with her until Mr. Adams returns, Ms Carter, worry not,” Alfred says offering a genuine smile.
“Ok, if you’re sure?”
“I’m sure.” She says. The truth is that I really could do with the rest.
“Let’s go then,” Taylor says.
“What?”
“I’m driving you home.”
“My car is out front, I can drive.”
“What? And pass out at the wheel? I don’t think so. Come on,” he says before placing his hand gently on my lower back and guiding me out the gallery. His hand feels so familiar and warm. The way that he is taking charge and looking after me is so much more like the Taylor that I know. He’s nothing like the man I met the other night...the one that told me to stay away from him.
“Bye.” I call to Alfred and Jessica, before walking out the door. I hear them shout their goodbyes to me, too, before we are outside. The fresh air feels good against my skin and cools down the heat that Taylor’s hand is igniting throughout my body.
“Here,” he says as he opens up the door of a silver Mercedes CLK.”
“Nice car.”
“It’s not mine.”
“Then whose is it?” I ask in confusion.
“It’s rented.”
“Where’s your car?”
I hear him chuckle before he closes the door and walks around to the driver’s side.
“What’s so funny?”
“I don’t have
a
car,” he answers simply.
“Why not?”
“Because I like variety. I like to experience and see different things so I rent a new car every week.”
“That’s got to be more expensive than owning a car, right?” He nods. “Why not just buy a new one every year?”
“How do I know I’ll be alive in a year’s time?”
“That’s a very depressing way to think.”
“No, it’s realistic. Why put off something I want to do now to risk never having the opportunity to ever do it?”
I think for a moment and can’t come up with an argument against.
“Yeah, I guess you’re right, when you put it like that.”
“I am. Put on your seatbelt.” I obey.
“You’ll have to direct me,” he says as the engine comes to life.
“It’s a pretty straight journey. Just keep driving till I tell you otherwise.”
“Ok.” He starts driving and we fall into a comfortable silence. I try not to stare at him but I can’t help glancing every now and then.
He’s real.
I still can’t get over the fact that he is here.
I’m not dreaming.
He looks good today. He’s wearing a pair of faded blue denim jeans with a tight white t-shirt. He has a pair of shades resting on the top of his head and he is driving with one hand, which for some reason I find incredibly hot. I think it’s the idea that he has control of the car so easily. It’s just sexy.
“Thanks.”
“For?” He asks genuinely.
“Driving me home, helping me out. You didn’t have to help me and I know that after the other night, you probably don’t want to-”
“I never said that,” he interjects.
“You told me to stay away from you.”
“I had to.”
“Why?”
“It’s complicated.”
“That’s not much of an answer.”
“No, it’s not, but I don’t want to lie to you.”
“Then don’t.”
“That’s what I’m doing,” he says glancing over at me.
“By not telling me anything?”
“Exactly.”
“In some twisted way, that actually makes sense,” I breathe.
I see him smile out the corner of my eye and I can’t help but smile too.
“You scared me back there,” he says catching me off guard.
“What do you mean?”
“Seeing you lying there...you looked dead. I didn’t like it. I don’t want to see that again.”
“I’m sorry.”
“I’m not blaming you, Paige. It just didn’t feel good.”
“Turn left at the lights. Is that why you’ve stopped staying away from me?” I tease.
“I told
you
to stay away from
me
,” he smarts.
“But
you
don’t have to stay away from me?” I ask, raising my eyebrows.
“I should,” he says sadly.
“But?” I hold a breath as I await his answer. It never comes.
“Why aren’t you eating?” He changes the subject.
“I am.”
“Not enough, that’s why you fainted.”
“I’ve just been under a lot of stress lately, maybe I’ve neglected eating a little but I won’t do it again.”
“Good.”
“And I thought you didn’t care, anyway.”
“Another thing I didn’t say.”
“So you
do
care?”
“Paige,” he warns.
“You need to take the next right.” He nods. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do,” I admit. I don’t even hold back because one thing that dream Taylor and I could always do was communicate and I feel strangely comfortable with the real Taylor because of it.
“What do you mean?”
“I told you how I felt in the dreams. Now that I know that you’re real, how do I pretend that you’re not or that what I feel isn’t real?”
“I don’t know. I’m sorry for how I spoke to you the other night. I was kind of in shock, but I didn’t mean to make things worse. I’m just trying to do the right thing.”
“And what is the right thing? It’s the second road on your left.”
“I don’t know.”
“Ok,” I say sadly.
“This just wasn’t supposed to happen. I didn’t think that it could.”
“I know, me neither,” I agree. “But it has happened.”
“Yes it has.” He slowly pulls on to my street and I want to pretend that I don’t live here so that I can spend more time with him in the car but I know that I can’t. “It’s that apartment block on your left.” He nods before finding a parking space to pull into.
“So what now?” I ask as the car finally stops and he turns the engine off.
“I’m going to walk you up to your apartment,” he jokes half heartedly.
“I mean...this situation.”
“Come on,” he says guiding me inside the apartment building.
I lead the way and try to pretend that this isn’t his way of saying goodbye. We take the stairs to my floor in silence—since the elevator isn’t working again--and by the time we reach the door to my apartment my heart is racing like crazy.
“Thanks,” I say quietly as we stand facing each other.
“It’s fine.”
I nod, not knowing what to say.
“I guess you can go back to staying away from me now, right?” I say jokingly but we both know that I’m being serious.
“That was a pretty screwed up way to handle things, wasn’t it?”
“It was.”
“I’m sorry. I’m just trying to do what’s right.”
“And how’s that working for you?”
“Terribly, based on the fact that I’m standing outside of your apartment. It’s pretty much the opposite of staying away.” We both laugh.
“Then why are you here?” I ask seriously.
“That’s exactly what I’m trying to figure out. The truth is that we should stay away from each other, Paige. I don’t want to hurt you.”
“Then why are you here now?”
“I needed to make sure you were ok.”
“Why would you care about someone who you want to stay away from you?”
“It’s hard to explain, just trust me on this.”
“You always say that.”
“What?”
I instantly realize what I just said and my cheeks start to burn up. “Sorry...I meant in my dreams...you always say that.”
We stare at each other for long drawn out seconds and I want him to kiss me so bad that I feel lightheaded again.
“Take care, Paige.”
He breaks the spell.
“Yeah, you too, Taylor, and thanks.”
He smiles, before walking away and I feel like screaming at him to come back, but instead, I unlock the door to my apartment and try to pretend that my heart wasn’t getting more entwined with every moment that I spent with him in this world and the other one.
* * *
After Taylor leaves, I spend the next couple of hours trying to figure him out but I get nowhere. The other night he seemed intent on pushing me away, but today at the gallery, something was different.
He
was different. It scares me to say it in case I’m wrong but it felt like he actually cared about me. Why else would he make sure that I got home safely and insist on bringing me back to the apartment. And more importantly, what is holding him back from me? Something is stopping him from letting me in and it’s driving me crazy. I know that our situation is absolutely insane, but neither of us have reacted that badly. He never once looked at me as though I was crazy for telling him that I dreamt about him. Granted, he looked confused but nothing else. I know that there is some sort of connection and I wish that I could understand it. Maybe it’s fate’s way of telling us something. Why would I spend a whole year of my life dreaming about him and then just randomly meet him one day? We were obviously meant to meet, but the question is why?
The night of Alfred’s exhibition he accidentally called me
Marie.
I so badly want to know who she is and what hold she has over him. Is she the reason that he is creating this space between us? Maybe she broke his heart. Whatever is going on, I know that she is the reason that he won’t let me in.
I sink back into the chair and take another swig of my soda. I have already eaten a PB & J sandwich, a pack of chips, three bars of candy and some fruit. My blood sugars are at an all time high, and I no longer feel like I’m about to fall to the ground again.
I flick through the TV channels and feel good when I catch the movie
Taken
only five minutes in. I love Liam Neeson. I don’t think that there is a movie that he is in that I haven’t seen, however, Taken, will always be my favorite. It definitely beats sitting and filling my head with a bunch of depressing romance movies. Although they only seem depressing when my love life is upside down. I would probably be rating them five star reviews and telling everyone to go and see them if I had a relationship that was anything like the ones that play out in the movies. They always have a happily ever after.
Just as I’m about to get comfortable, I hear a gentle tapping at the front door. I’m not expecting anybody and so I stare down the hallway in confusion. I slowly rise to my feet, before pulling the band out of my hair and running my fingers through it quickly. I hear a second knock and move a little quicker. I stretch along the way and let out a strained yawn.