Beasthood (The Hidden Blood Series) (32 page)

             
She also saw as it got closer that it wasn't the darkness that made it appear black- the other Beast had been brown in the dull light of the moon-this one however was
really
black. A deep, jet black. She remembered what Edda had said and immediately knew who it was.

             
Other Beasts appeared in the clearing to her right. She whimpered, staring at them in horror, her muscles strained and ready to bolt, but she couldn't move. The oak trees surrounding them allowed enough access for light to cast eerie shadows across their faces and bodies, exaggerating the contours of their features. She swallowed loudly.

             
They held back as if waiting for something.

             
The black Beast stood a few feet from Jaz, stopping to look their way. He barked a command and they slowly edged back dissolving into the darkness.

             
Jaz flickered a look at him. He didn't speak, but she wasn't sure if it was because he couldn't or just that he didn't want to.

             
Neither of them moved for a moment.

             
When he stepped forward Jaz reacted, springing back until she was against a tree. She gasped at the shooting pain in her ankle. The Beast moved forward and though she knew he only wanted to help, she shrunk further back into the tree.

             
She was so startled and frightened beyond words and rationality she couldn't let him near her, even though he meant her no harm.

“
I'm fine,” she said shakily, not meeting his eyes. She'd held up her right hand in signal as she'd said this. It remained stuck in midair when she laid eyes on it and saw something that made her eyeballs nearly pop out of their sockets.

             
Her fingernails had grown into claws. The hand had started shaping into an animal-like appendage, like his, and had gotten stuck between human and Beast. Not fully Changed. And staring her in the face.

             
She nearly threw up in her mouth. Her gut froze like a block of ice inside her.

             
Despite her agony, she jumped up faster than she thought herself able, and broke into a frantic, limping run through the trees in front of her, away from the pack of scary Beasts that had just been there. And away, as far as she could get, from Nik.

             
He howled after her just once, which sounded strangely to her like he was calling her back. He then suddenly broke off and in the silence she could hear her own voice whimpering incomprehensibly all the way back to her cabin.

                                                                                    *

              She burst through the front door waking up Edda. Almost stumbling, she hustled towards the bathroom at the end of the hall and before she had time to turn on the light but just enough time to lift up the seat, she vomited into the toilet bowl until nothing came up. After that she just shook uncontrollably, hugging the toilet as she rested her chin on the cool porcelain.

             
Edda watched her silently from the door. After twenty minutes she put a glass of water on Jaz's bedside table and went to bed, not speaking a word of it.

             
After an hour, Jaz climbed into bed and slept restlessly, terrorized by terrible nightmares.

~
Chapter 29-
Brew~

Tuesday, June 14
th

             
For almost two weeks since that night she hadn't seen Nik once.

             
Her ankle had swelled to three times its original size by the next day and her throat was so sore, as if it had been sandblasted. She woke up groggy and weak and refused to look at her hands though she knew since she'd been stuck in the toilet the night before that the clawed hand had gone back to normal.

             
Edda didn't reprimand her like Jaz had expected. She didn't even ask what had happened. It was then that Jaz knew Nik had said something. Of course he had.  And anyway, how else could Edda have seen her injuries, seen her puke her guts up as if she'd drank a whole liquor store and not ask any questions, if she didn't know how it had happened in the first place?

             
To keep Jaz's mind busy and far away from that night, she helped de-weed the vegetable patches, plant new seeds in pots and when her ankle was good enough to walk on, she cleaned out the greenhouses spending a lot of time with the gang.

             
Most of the time, after chores or on weekends they chilled out by the lake whilst the weather was still rain-free and hot. Many people swam in it after they'd finished work. They had picnics and everyone shared their food and passed it around as though they were all one close-knit family. It helped Jaz forget what they became at nighttime.

             
She wondered if they could change during the day too. It gave her chills thinking about it so she locked the idea away. The problem with locking things away was, it made her very distant and closed off.

             
If Skye noticed that she was often distant she didn't make a point of it. Instead she carried on being the much needed distraction to a point that Jaz couldn't -and certainly didn't want to- imagine Skye roaming around at night as one of those blood-thirsty Beasts.               She shared her books and music with Jaz, always trying to make her laugh, and more times than not, succeeding.

             
A truck that came from outside regularly brought back things like books, DVD's, CD's, iPods, iPads. One time they brought two TV's and another time some speakers, all brand new. Also clothes and food that they didn't grow themselves.

             
The two men who drove the truck were friendly but kept their distance from Jaz. One of them was in his fifties, and reminded her a lot of her uncle. He looked like a retired boxer, with hazel eyes, a grey moustache and a constant frown. She'd never heard his name but the other was called David. A pretty ordinary name in comparison to all the strange names she'd heard since she'd been here. He was in his late thirties, early forties and looked a lot like Viggo Mortensen with dark blonde hair, long on top and swept to one side to reveal a golden complexion, bronzed by the sun.

             
He would flash her a polite smile but it was clear that he also regarded her as not one of the Pack, though he and his companion were rarely in the community, always travelling.

             
The 63 members accounted for those presently living in the community. Adding all the others who went to school, lived or worked outside made it close to the hundred mark if not more.

             
Jaz hadn't been brought up in any Pack, let alone this one and a lot of people tended to remind her of that fact. They were all polite and generous but she could see the cautiousness in their eyes. She understood it -expected it- but it didn't make her feel any better.

             
When a random woman called Signy (Skye had muttered it before the pretty middle-aged blonde's approach) handed her a plump pillow to prop her sprained ankle on, that was when Jaz realized how much she wanted to be accepted in this Pack. She hadn't realized it until that moment because although Signy had been so kind to her, she had the same look all of them -apart from her friends- gave her every time they had to make eye contact. Guarded, cautious, unsure, searching.

             
She'd spent most of her time there with her little group of friends who she'd become very close with, especially Skye and Alf. They always had time for her and made her feel involved. And they strangely reminded her of Lisa and Ellie. Skye had similar traits to Ellie, and Alf to Lisa -though Jaz would never tell Lisa to her face how she'd compared her with a guy.

             
Nik stayed out of her mind whenever she was with her friends. It was at nighttime she thought of him. She'd sworn off reading Lora's diary anymore because she saw how wrong it was to invade someone's most personal, intimate thoughts even if they were gone- but most of all because it made her think of Nik. In intimate and needy ways. Constantly reminding her of how envious she felt of her dead sister, which made her feel like the most disgusting person on the planet.

             
And she still wasn't sure whether those feelings were even real or not. She didn't know what she felt about him anymore.

              On that Tuesday, four days after her narrow escape from death, Skye had told her she needed to get some supplies from the pharmacy. Jaz had never seen it before and although she still had to limp everywhere, she'd asked to come. Skye was so happy that Jaz seemed to take an interest in her job, she didn't mind supporting her as Jaz hobbled all the way there, or that it took twice as long. 

             
Jaz had never been to the pharmacy, and hadn't passed that particular part of the grounds the whole time she'd been there. It was west of the main building, further away from the barbecue area that from a distance, Jaz could see was complete. There were still a small handful of workers there, no doubt adding the finishing touches. She could smell the paint fumes.

              She hadn't bumped into Fraya since their run in, purposely avoiding the stables though she'd been looking forward to horse-riding. That was going to have to wait until Fraya was off duty and until Jaz's ankle had fully healed.

             
She remembered how Fraya had always been glued to Sunhild, when she saw the redhead passing through the trees alone with a paint pot. Something about that idea was confusing. She was sure she remembered Lora writing about how they were friends too. Maybe Sunhild wasn't the kind of girl to take sides between friends.

             
Whenever Jaz had needed to pass by the stables, Alf had become overprotective, keeping a look out as he stood discreetly in front of Jaz like a human shield. After her outburst that day at the site, he seemed to understand more than anyone how much his protectiveness meant to Jaz. 

             
It wasn't necessary anyway. Fraya wasn't stupid enough to make that mistake again. She'd been punished in an unpleasant way and even though it was Fraya, Jaz didn't take pleasure in imagining her punishment.

             
But Jaz warned herself to keep her head down and her distance from Fraya at all times and to never walk alone in the dark, because no doubt, she was more bitter and nastier than before and probably blamed Jaz for being punished.

Maybe it was her?
She thought of the dark brown Beast, inches from tearing her throat out before being pummeled by the black Beast and shuddered.
God I hope not.

             
After twenty minutes they reached a row of ski shack-like buildings. One was a butchers, the other a dentist, other various small stores. There were eight buildings in all.

             
Jaz spotted the pharmacy on the right end. The front was quaint and picturesque with hanging flower baskets filled to the brim with pansies in vibrant colours.  There was a welcome mat by the glass, framed door. A dark green plaque with bold white letters labelled the odd building 'The Pharmacy'. Only the plaque suited the business she imagined inside. But when she stepped inside, it wasn't how she'd imagined at all.

             
'The Pharmacy', -which was more like a botanics store- was stocked full of wild flowers and herbs harvested from the land all around them, though some had been imported too. All the plants had been harvested, prepared for their particular use and placed neatly in jars, smaller sized tubs and squeezy bottles which were arranged beautifully in woven baskets.

             
The shop owner, Skye's uncle -a middle-aged man with reddish hair thinning at his temples, a crooked nose, pleasant smile and bright, youthful grey eyes- greeted them both happily. He invited Jaz to look around whilst he dealt with Skye's order.

             
He had homemade teas, pastes that were probably used externally as a cream or mask -like the one Skye had put on Jaz's feet and sliced palm (both fully healed with minimal scarring)- and also a selection of bottled drinks and freshly packaged cakes and bars that Jaz suspected were pumped full of good stuff.

             
She rubbed the faint line on her palm absently with her other thumb remembering what she'd heard the others say.

             
People here rarely ate junk food or anything processed, packaged or microwaveable, looking after their bodies like sacred temples. Although apparently they treated themselves occasionally. But Jaz had yet to see it for herself.

             
God how she missed chocolate, she thought longingly. She had a soft spot for rich, dark chocolate, especially with a bit of chilli. Her parents had always pulled a face of displeasure when she ate it in front of them. She cut off anymore thoughts about them immediately.

             
Jaz continued to stand by Skye, gazing around at all the products on sale whilst Skye stocked her bag full with medicinal creams and teas and things Jaz had no idea what they were or were used for.

             
As she scanned around the room she spotted a jar on a shelf, completely packed with them. This one in particular caught her eye. She didn't recognize the plant inside but the name on the label grabbed her interest. 'Hemlock'.

             
When Skye's uncle had gone in the back to fetch something, Jaz caught Skye's attention and she walked over. Jaz then pointed to the jar. “What's this for? Isn't it poisonous?” she asked in a low voice.

“
Yep, but in small doses it's not harmful to us,” Skye shrugged.

“
What do you use it for?”

             
Skye leaned in to whisper. “I don't personally. It's for Pack members who go undercover outside for a long period of time, just in case they feel the need to Change in an risky place.”

“
What? You mean they take this and they what... don't Change?”

             
Skye bobbed her head side to side.“Sort of. It basically suppresses it for longer but it's really dangerous and is only used in an emergency, by someone who is fully capable.

I heard of one guy who used it to control his shakes on a mission. He took too much and died. It's a taboo drug really but my uncle is careful about it,” she reassured, thinking that was Jaz's main concern.

              Then Skye's uncle was back and the conversation was cut short.

             
Jaz stared at the jar of poison.

             
She wondered how it worked. How it was used and measured. How much was too much?  Did it really worked? Could it ease the shakes and hold off a Change?

             
And then the idea began brewing inside of her mind until no matter how much she argued against it, it stayed in there, bugging her for two whole days before she finally made the decision to come back. Alone.

                                                                                    *

“How much is this?”

             
The Pharmacist squinted above his half-moon spectacles to focus on the jar Jaz pointed at. His expression changed from polite boredom to uncomfortable and wary like he'd been shocked in the behind. “It depends on the reason for use?”

             
Jaz stared at him unflinching as he scrutinized her with his warm, grey eyes. His thick reddish brows tinted with grey shadowed them, emphasizing the seriousness of his expression. After a moment she said, “I read that it's a very good antispasmodic drug.”

             
His eyes lit up in surprise.“Yes...” he said hesitantly. “But then so is peppermint oil, amongst many other things. Medicine that is much safer.”

             
Jaz rested her hand on the wooden surface by her hip, below the shelf with the hemlock. She tapped the wood with her fingers a few times before replying, “I was told hemlock had more kick. That I could take a dose that would be lethal to a human and it wouldn't harm me. Enough to ease my spasms. I doubt peppermint oil will have the same effect.” She had a casual but oddly firm expression and tone.