Baseball and Other Lessons (Devil's Ranch Book 2) (31 page)

Matt shrugged. “It’s always been there. Everyone’s always seen what they wanted to see is all.”

“So there’s more to you than womanizing and a ninety-eight mile per hour fastball is what you’re saying?”

Matt snorted derisively. “To the public and my adoring fans? No.”

“How is it I’ve never seen this side of you until the past month?”

“I guess I never wanted you to. Facing your own mortality kind of gives you a new perspective on life, though.”

Chase rubbed his chest and Matt had a feeling his comment had hit home. “Point taken. Were you this scared when you came-to on the mound?”

He nodded, once. He’d never forget the way he’d felt that night on the mound. “Absolutely. I couldn’t move for a few minutes. My ears were ringing and I could feel blood trickling down my face and neck. My head hurt like nothing I’ve ever felt before. Luckily I didn’t know how bad it was at the time—just that the situation wasn’t good. And when I woke up later, in the hospital,” Matt shook his head, “I remember feeling lost and worried, mostly about Mom and Dad. It wasn’t until a couple days later that the uncertainty of my baseball future really hit me, and that scared me, too.”

“That’s why you really came back home, isn’t it? Because you were scared,” Chase said.

“Yeah.” Matt sat back and sighed. “I was scared. I still am. Sure, my head seems to be healing fine, but baseball? I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to play again. I’m thirty-five and I’d already been thinking about retiring in another year or two, but I’d wanted to go out on my terms, y’know?”

“I had no idea you’d even thought about retirement. You’ve seemed so oblivious to the fact that you’re kind of old for a pitcher.”

Matt glanced at Chase and shook his head. “Again, everyone sees what they want to see. I’m not an idiot—I did graduate summa cum laude from Texas, y’know.”

“Wait. What? But you were taken in the first round after your junior year. When did you go back and get your degree?”

“In the off-season and through online courses. I finished it in 2008.” He could have sworn he’d mentioned it offhand to Chase, or at the very least their Mom would have said something. Apparently not, though.

“Jesus, man. What other secrets do you have hiding out in there? I don’t know if I can take much more.”

Matt avoided answering Chase’s question and instead rubbed a hand over his jaw, looking over his brother’s shoulder for long moments before turning his gaze back to him. “You know when you need a transplant I’ll be the first one to offer a kidney, right?”

Chase sucked in a deep breath and blinked. “You don’t have to do that.”

“I know I don’t, but you’re my brother. We’re the same blood type and siblings tend to be the best matches. My kidneys are in great shape, I’m healthy, and if I can do something to keep you alive as long as possible I’m going to.”

Chase nodded, but didn’t speak.

“In the meantime, I suggest you figure out how you’re going to apologize to Jo and grovel appropriately. You need her now, and you’re going to need her in the future. Don’t be a dick and make decisions for her—it’s her choice to make, whether she wants to stick with you through this or not.”

Chase sighed. “Do you know what the statistics are like for kidney transplant recipients? How long donor kidneys last? The complications, not to mention the cost involved?”

Matt crossed his arms over his chest, knowing what he was about to say would be yet one more surprise for his brother. “Most donor kidneys will last on average fifteen years, with some lasting for twenty, possibly more if it’s a really good match and the recipient takes their meds and takes care of themselves. That means you’d probably need another kidney in your fifties, and another in your sixties or seventies. Obviously, they’re hard to come by the older you get, but it’s not impossible. As for cost, the anti-rejection meds are incredibly expensive for most people, but good insurance plans will usually cover at least a portion of the cost, and once you hit your out of pocket you pay nothing for the rest of your plan year. And yes, there’s a risk involved with being on anti-rejection medications, including cancer, but most cases are skin cancer that’s easily treated. You just have to be careful—wash your hands, use hand sanitizer, clean regularly, stay away from anyone who has the flu, that sort of thing. In other words, it’s nothing insurmountable.”

“I feel like I owe you an apology.”

Matt shrugged. “Nah. Like I said, people see what they want to see, and I don’t do anything to dispel that image. It’s more comfortable that way, honestly. But don’t think for a minute I don’t care, or that I haven’t done research. You’re my brother.”

Chase was silent for a few minutes before saying, “I don’t want to tell Mom and Dad.”

Matt nodded. “I would imagine not. They can handle it, though. We’ve all known it was going to happen sooner or later.” He grinned. “But wait until Mom finds out you broke up with Jo. You might wish you were dead then.”

Chase rolled his eyes and flicked his bottle cap at Matt. “Shut it, asshole. I already know I screwed up big time in that regard.”

“So what are you going to do to fix it?”

He cocked his head to the side. “You think you could help me with something?”

“If it ends this pity party and wraps up the Prozac commercial, absolutely.”

“You’re such an ass.”

“An ass with a healthy kidney, so shut it,” Matt shot back. “Anyway, what’s the plan?”

“I think I might need to grovel.”

#

Matt: You okay?

Jenn: I think I’m a little drunk.

Matt: I’ll take that as a no.

Jenn: No, I’m not ok. Chase is a dumbass and I’m mad at him.

Matt: I agree. He’s a dumbass.

Jenn: Glad you concur. But I probably shouldn’t text you anymore tonight.

Matt: Why’s that?

Jenn: Might say something I shouldn’t.

Matt: Like what?

Jenn: Bad, not friendly things.

Matt: That covers a lot of territory.

Jenn: Yes. It does. I’m leaving it at that. Night.

Matt: Night.

#

When Jo left the next morning, Jenn said goodbye with a heavy heart and a long hug. There may have been some tears. She knew Jo needed to go pick up her stuff, load up her car and head back to Austin, but dammit, she didn’t want her to go.

“It’s been so good having you home again,” Jenn said as she hugged her best friend. Hard.

Jo hugged her back, just as hard. “It’s been good being back home. I’m going to miss you.”

“You know you’re welcome here any time, right? I’ll even try to make room around all of the MREs for you.”

Jo’s chuckle was watery. “That’s sweet of you, but I can always stay with Gran when I come back to town.”

“Please don’t be a stranger again.”

Jo pulled away and swiped at the tears rolling down her cheeks. “I promise I won’t be. No matter what happens with Chase and me I’m not going to stay away again.”

“Good. And just so you know, as soon as you’re out of town I’m going over to Chase’s house to kick his ass.”

Jo snorted and pulled Jenn in for another hug. “I love you.”

“Love you, too.”

They separated and Jo walked to her car in Jenn’s driveway, opened the door and climbed in. She waved as she drove away, and Jenn waved back, tears freely streaming down her face.

She was so going to miss Jo.

An hour later Jenn had managed to pull herself together enough to climb into her own car and head towards Chase’s house. As Ed Sheeran’s “Thinking Out Loud” played over the radio, she thought about everything that had happened over the past twenty-four hours.

Hell, not even twenty-four hours. More like twelve.

One minute she’d been sitting beside Matt on her couch, pretty sure he was about to kiss her, and the next she’d found out one of her best friends was seriously sick and hadn’t bothered to tell her. Oh, and let’s not forget everything she’d ended up telling Jo last night.

Ugh.

Honestly, she felt a little guilty for unloading all of that last night considering Chase’s little bombshell and his subsequent breaking up with Jo. But she knew her other best friend and understood that she’d needed the distraction. And hell, Jenn had needed to get it off of her chest.

It was a win-win for everyone, right?

Right.

She mentally shook herself as she pulled into Chase’s driveway and parked behind Matt’s JEEP. Nerves danced in her stomach at the thought of seeing Matt after her admission to Jo last night. Would her feelings be written all over her face? Would he somehow know her walls had come crashing down and she was too tired of fighting to keep them up to put them back together?

You are the very definition of ‘hot mess’ right now.

Yeah, no shit.

Jenn cut off the engine and got out of her car, stepping into the sweltering August heat. She quickly made her way up to Chase’s front porch and rang the doorbell once before turning the knob and letting herself in like she usually did.

It struck her then that since Matt had been back in town she’d only come over here a handful of times. She was usually here a few times a week.

Like you said last night, it’s been an eventful summer.

Not to mention the fact that for most of it she’d been actively avoiding Matt.

She stepped into blessed air conditioning and shut the door behind her before walking into the living room. Matt walked in from the direction of the kitchen. He drew up as soon as he saw her, their gazes colliding briefly before his traveled down and then back up the length of her body. Jenn’s her skin warmed as if he’d touched her.

When his gaze met hers again, she swore she could feel heat radiating off of him. His pupils dilated slightly and his tongue darted out to wet his lips. Jenn’s nipples tightened behind the thin cotton of her tank top. He started towards her, his gaze intent. Her belly danced with butterflies and her womb tightened, moisture pooling between her thighs.

They really needed to do something about this crazy attraction.

Stat.

Like, right now.

On the living room floor.

The couch.

The stairs.

Didn’t matter.

Matt stopped just inches away from her, and she gripped the strap of her purse until her fingers started to go numb. She wanted to touch him. Needed to touch him. But as soon as she did it would all be over.

He would know. And he would break her heart all over again.

Jenn cleared her throat and took a tiny step backward. Matt’s brows drew together in confusion, but the heat didn’t leave his eyes.

Jenn swallowed and opened her mouth to speak, but before she could say anything Chase’s voice rang out from the kitchen.

“Matt, who is it?”

Without turning his head, Matt responded. “It’s Jenn.”

“Don’t get blood on my floor you two.”

Unable to break Matt’s gaze, Jenn said, “Ha ha. Very funny. I haven’t spilled anyone’s blood in at least three days I’ll have you know.”

“Wow. A whole three days. I’m so proud of you,” Chase shot back.

Matt’s mouth twitched. She wanted to lick it.

“Jenn,” Matt whispered.

“What, Matt?” she whispered back.

“I have to do something real quick.”

“What’s that?”

Before she knew what was happening he’d moved in for the kill, capturing her mouth with his.

Oh, thank God.

No! No! This isn’t supposed to happen!

Oh, fuck it. This is so happening.

She let go of her purse strap and wrapped her hands around his neck, holding on for dear life as Matt’s tongue caressed hers. It felt like an invitation. Like a promise. Like all her wants and desires and heartache wrapped up in one big, muscular package.

His hands settled on her hips, his fingers curling and digging into her flesh. She stepped towards him, closing the distance between their bodies. His chest against hers and the thick ridge of his erection against her belly felt like heaven and hell and home.

This kiss wasn’t like the one last Sunday on her couch. It wasn’t full of fire, burning them to embers. This one was slow and heady, luxurious like expensive dark chocolate melting on her tongue.

“You guys aren’t silently murdering each other in here are—what the fuck?”

Too late Jenn heard Chase’s voice and pulled her mouth away from Matt’s. His fingers flexed against her hips and she glanced up at his face. Instead of looking worried, he looked amused.

Of course he did.

She unwound her arms and took a step back. Matt’s arms fell to his sides before he casually put his hands in his pockets, drawing her gaze to the fly of his khaki shorts. She pressed her lips together but couldn’t quite hold in her snort of laughter.

What was one more thing on top of everything else that had happened this weekend?

#

Matt watched as Jenn tried to contain her laughter, and had a hard time containing his own.