Baseball and Other Lessons (Devil's Ranch Book 2) (14 page)

“Lots of bumping and grinding with no heavy duty action?”

“Something like that.”
Unfortunately
.

#

She was prepared that evening when Matt knocked on her door. Not that he’d let her know he was coming over—as far as she knew he didn’t even have her phone number—but Chase had mentioned earlier that Matt had had a doctor’s appointment in San Antonio that morning, and Jenn had had a feeling he would show up on her doorstep that evening.

Why she’d had that feeling, she didn’t know. But she had, and she’d been right. So there. Or something.

She closed the door behind him and didn’t bother with niceties before saying, “So, there’s kinda sorta a video of us dancing together on YouTube.”

Matt sunk onto the couch and sighed. “Seriously?”

“Seriously.” She sat down on the other end of the couch, curled her feet underneath her and launched into the story about her conversation over lunch with Rene earlier, and then how she’d sure enough found the video uploaded to YouTube when she’d searched after getting home.

“It’s not a big deal, Jenn. We were just dancing.”

“Yeah, but how’s the team going to take that? You’re on the disabled list right now for a really traumatic brain injury, and there’s video of you dancing at a bar with bright lights and loud music.”

“I’ve been cleared to do those things, just not to play ball.”

She looked at him—really looked at him—and saw the lines of worry etched across his face. Even worse, his voice was almost despondent. She uncurled her legs and nudged his thigh with a foot. “What’s eating you?”

He rolled his head on the back of the couch and looked at her, his hazel eyes dull, and she felt a swift ache in the vicinity of her heart. No, not allowed. She could not start feeling sorry for him.

He shrugged. “Doc says my skull’s healing nicely.”

“That’s good, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Then why the woe is me vibe?”

Matt closed his eyes. “He still can’t clear me to play.”

“Matt, you just took a line drive to the head a month ago and had brain surgery. You’re smarter than that. You know you’re not going to be cleared so soon.”

“You think I’m smart, huh?”

Jenn scoffed. “You and I both know there’s a lot more going on upstairs than you like to let on. That’s beside the point, though. You’ve got to be realistic here.”

“I’m so fucking tired of everyone telling me to be realistic.”

“What do you want us to say? Do you want us to tell you, ‘Yeah, Matt, go get back out on that mound before your head’s had a chance to heal. Another line drive won’t kill you.’ Because it could, Matt. You’re lucky this one didn’t.”

“You don’t think I know that?”

“I know you do. So why the rush?”

He stared at the wall across from them and slumped into the couch, body language that was completely uncharacteristic of him. “Baseball’s all I have.”

His quietly uttered statement filled her with sadness.
Shit. I cannot feel sorry for him
.

But she did. She was naturally empathetic, but she’d long ago turned that off around Matt, because to be that way near him was to ask for heartache. Somehow, though, over the past few days, the walls she’d built had slowly begun to crumble. They were still there, but missing a few bricks here and there.

She wasn’t sure she liked it.

“Matt, you have so much more than baseball.”

“Logically, I know that. I have unfinished business, though. We were so close to winning the World Series last year, and after we lost in Game Seven I vowed to make it back this year and win it all.”

“You have no control over that.”

His head snapped towards hers. “Yes, I do. I’m the ace. I go out there and I pitch lights out every time I’m on the mound. I go as deep into games as I can, throw as many pitches as I can without hurting myself. I was throwing a fucking perfect game the night that ball hit me, Jenn. A perfect game, and that was the third I’d flirted with this season so far. We have all the pieces, and we’ve been firing on all cylinders all season long, starting back to spring training. So yes, I do have control over us going to the World Series and winning.”

“There are eight other guys on the field with you,” she said quietly.

“But I’m the leader of the team.”

“Yes. Matt, though, don’t you see? You’re putting unrealistic expectations on yourself. Baseball is as much an individual sport as it is a team sport. Each individual has to play well, and those individuals have to play well together as a team. If one guy’s in a hitting slump, you don’t just shun him, right? No, you don’t. You pick him up. Other guys in the lineup produce hits and runs and know that he’ll eventually come out of it. Every pitcher has a bad night where he just gets shelled. Do the guys lay into you for that? Or do they pat you on the butt and say you’ll get them next time?”

“You know they don’t lay into a pitcher for having an off night. It happens to everyone.”

“Exactly. So this isn’t on you. The entire season isn’t riding on your shoulders. So stop forcing it and just focus on healing your head.”

“That’s easy for you to say; you’re not a major league pitcher.”

“Thank God. If I were as whiny as you are I might have to shoot myself.”

He glared at her before shaking his head and smiling. “I knew coming over here would make me feel better.”

Jenn rolled her eyes and tried her damnedest to ignore the warmth sluicing through her body at the sight of that grin lighting up his eyes. “See? That’s how I know you’re still fucked in the head—you thought coming over here would make you feel better.”

He barked out a laugh. “One day, I’ll get you to admit that you like me showing up over here unannounced.”

“Not gonna happen.”

He shrugged off her denial. “Whatever. So about this YouTube video, care to show it to me?”

#

Jenn retrieved her phone from the coffee table and pulled something up on it before handing it to him. He took the phone from her and hit the “play” arrow, watching as the two of them danced like no one was watching and they had a private room.

Matt chanced a glance at Jenn. Her cheeks were tinged a faint shade of pink, and he wondered what embarrassed her more—the fact that she was now a YouTube star or the fact that she was now a YouTube star with him.

The video came to an end and he handed the phone back to Jenn. Their fingers brushed and briefly tangled in the exchange (he may or may not have done that on purpose), and Jenn’s blush deepened. She snagged the phone out of his hands and curled her fingers around it in a death grip.

“It’s pretty bad, huh?” she asked.

He wasn’t sure if she was referring to the fact that the video existed or the fact that for a few minutes on a Friday night in a crowded bar, they’d been unable to hide their attraction to one another.

“I don’t know, I think we’re both pretty good dancers.”

“Be serious here. You know what I mean. Couldn’t this get you into trouble with the team?”

The video
was
a bit of an inconvenience, but nothing he didn’t think he couldn’t explain to the team’s powers that be. “They might have a few questions for me once it reaches the team office, but I don’t think it’s that big of a deal in the grand scheme of things.”

“I’d hate to think that they would question you over this, but I also know how these things work. All it takes is one tweet, one person questioning if you’re taking your injury seriously enough, for all hell to break loose.”

He pinched the bridge of his nose. “There’s already a ton of Twitter speculation. Might as well add fuel to the fire, right? That being said, I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“Getting dragged into the mess that is my life.”

Jenn raised an eyebrow. “Um, didn’t you pretty much drag me kicking and screaming in that mess the first time you showed up over here unannounced?”

“Yeah, but I didn’t mean to drag you into the public mess.” And he really hadn’t.

“Whatever happens, happens. There’s not much we can do about it now. I mean, if you asked to have it taken off of YouTube that would just add fuel to the fire.”

“Exactly. I suggest we don’t even acknowledge it. If it gets picked up and goes viral, that’s one thing, but for right now we’re better off acting like it doesn’t exist.”

Jenn turned the phone over in her hands. “You know that if Chase, Jo or Owen sees it they’re going to have questions. Or—oh shit——your mom.”

Jenn was close to his parents—hell, they’d considered her the daughter they’d never had since they were kids—and his mom could be like a dog with a bone when she got hold of something involving one of her children. He wasn’t sure how his parents, his brother or their friends would react if they thought something was going on between him and Jenn. In all honestly, he wasn’t sure he wanted to find out.

“I think Owen’s put two and two together, at least a little bit,” he finally said after long, silent moments.

Jenn removed a ponytail holder from her wrist, gathered her hair behind her head and secured it into a messy spray of curls on top of her head. It should have looked ridiculous, but instead he wanted to run his fingers through all that wild red and bury his face in her neck.

“Yeah, I think so, too. He hasn’t said anything to me about us since the Fourth, but that’s just how he works; he knows I’ll spill when and if I’m ready and won’t push me.”

“He warned me not to hurt you.”

Jenn glanced away, her features pinched. “Little too late for that, isn’t it?”

He wanted to reach over and touch her, slide closer and pull her tight against his body. Instead, he stayed where he was. “Are we ever going to address the elephant in the room?”

“What elephant?” She’d rounded her eyes into what he figured was supposed to be an innocent expression. It looked anything but that.

“Jenn…”

“Listen, Matt, there’s no point in rehashing past mistakes, right?”

Wait. Mistake? She thought that night had been a mistake?

Logically he understood how she could feel that way. Illogically, he resented the fact that she thought the most earth-shattering sex he’d ever experienced had been a mistake.

“Right,” he ground out, willing to let this woman see his pain and frustration regarding his career, but somehow unwilling to let her know she’d just cut him off at the knees with a simple, offhand remark.

He stood suddenly, needing to get out of her house and away from her before he did something stupid or said something he couldn’t take back. “Anyway. Thanks for listening to me whine. And don’t worry about the video. I’ll…” he reached into his pocket and grabbed his keys, feeling out of sorts, “I’ll see you later.”

He walked out of her house and to his JEEP, feeling even more conflicted than he had when he’d arrived on her doorstep earlier.

#

Jenn sat rooted to the couch for long moments after Matt left, feeling relieved and yet a lot like crying. She’d seen the look of hurt that had flashed over his face after her “mistake” comment. Sure, he’d hidden it quickly, but it had been there, and he hadn’t been able to completely hide it from his eyes. Those beautiful hazel eyes that had haunted her dreams and waking thoughts far more than she cared to admit over the past ten years.

She drew in a shaky breath, opened the video file and watched it for the hundredth time that day. Betsy had managed to capture that moment when she’d given in just a little and allowed herself to relax against Matt for far too brief a time. His hands were on her waist, his front to her back, and while her eyes were closed—reveling in the feel of his body against hers, she remembered all too clearly—his were watching her. Focused. The expression his face was clear, his emotions undeniable.

He was looking at her like a man looks at a woman he wants with a burning passion, like a man who cares.

The song and video came to an end and Jenn hit play again. Over and over she watched it until her phone battery was almost dead and she could no longer deny the obvious truth—they were playing with fire and it was only a matter of time before they got burned.

Chapter Eleven

Matt didn’t come back
over for four days. Jenn tried to convince herself she wasn’t disappointed, but she kind of was.

Hey, the man was gorgeous and it was nice having all that hotness to look at.

Or, rather, she tried to tell herself it was only his face and his body she missed. If she were being honest with herself, though, she had to admit that she kind of missed him. Even though it seemed like they always ended up arguing, in a very short period of time she’d started to enjoy watching baseball with him and occasionally picking his brain regarding strategy. She liked the way he relentlessly tried to make her laugh, and that he respected her personal space and stayed on his end of the couch (even if she did kind of wish he would move a little closer sometimes).

Unfortunately, she was finding out that Matt Roberts was actually a decent guy and possibly a good friend to have in her corner.