Bang Gang (28 page)

Mia laughed from the backseat. “Don’t be such a sausage, Ruby. We’re not going to have a brother, Mum hasn’t even got a boyfriend, and even if she did we’d have a
half-
brother. You’re such a baby sometimes.”

“Steady,” I said. “She’s not a baby, she’s just a lot younger than you.”

Mia shrugged. “Yeah, I guess.”

Ruby grimaced. “I don’t want a
half-
brother, I want a
proper
brother, and I don’t want Mum to get a boyfriend. Not if he’s like boring Brian.”

The thought punched me in the gut.

I should have done the right thing and told her of course a half-brother was a proper brother, of course it would be just as good, but the words stuck in my throat. They stuck and they stayed there. I couldn’t speak a fucking word of it.

I changed the subject back to the rally and thanked my stars when they took the bait.

I took the girls to the Drum for their dinner, had a nice cold pint with my steak and ale pie. They chattered and bickered and chattered some more, conversation never straying far from the rally weekend and Daisy coming camping. Ruby was still a messy monster with her food, tomato sauce and peas all over the table when she’d finished. It made Mia seem all the older, holding her knife and fork so properly now, patting her lips with a napkin.

Where the hell was my little girl going? She was turning into a bloody teenager right in front of my eyes.

It was approaching eight by the time we set off back to theirs. I stopped off at mine on the way, dashed upstairs while they stayed in the truck. Might as well get this out of the way now, while it was fresh. I shoved the envelope in my pocket and headed back out.

Jodie was up and about by the time we arrived, and Tonya had already made a move. Just as well.

I waited on the porch as the girls told their driving stories, watching Jodie’s expression like a hawk as talk of the rally weekend sprung up.

“We’ll see,” she said.

“But Mum!” Ruby wailed.

“I said we’ll see. That’s not a no, Ruby. It’s a we’ll see.”

They shot off to watch TV with Nanna and I gave Jo their dinnertime lowdown.

“Thanks for today,” she said. “I appreciated the sleep.”

“No bother.”

I gave her a nod when I was sure the girls were settled, and beckoned her further onto the porch. Her eyes widened as she pulled the door closed behind her.

I took the envelope from my pocket. It was still unopened.

She turned it over in her fingers. “What’s this?”

“Your cash,” I said, like it wasn’t obvious.

Her eyes were like saucers. “But why?”

“Lads didn’t want to take it.”

“I’m not a charity case,” she said. “I can pay.”

I stared at her. “That isn’t what they think. They just didn’t want to take it, last night was on the house.”

“Shit, Darren, I wanted to pay my way.”

I shrugged. “What difference does it make?”

“A lot,” she said.

I tried not to think about it, tried not to remember her pretty mouth gagging on Buck’s thick dick. Tried not to remember the way she moaned for them, the way she rode Jimmy O’s cock like he was a fucking stallion.

“Put it back in the bank,” I said. “Forget about it.”

“Or not,” she said, and her eyes were twinkling. She could hardly hold back the smile.

“What?” I said.

She tried to hand me back the envelope. “Keep it,” she said. “For next time.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Next time?”

She nodded. “I mean, I wasn’t going to… not using any more of Pop’s money… but if last night was a freebie, and I still have the money I thought I’d spent already, then it makes sense to do it again
…” She smiled. “I’d like to do it again, Darren.” She paused. “All of it. It was amazing, thank you. If that’s alright?”

No. It’s not fucking alright.

The words were on the tip of my fucking tongue, a fire in my belly that wouldn’t quit burning. The thought of them touching her again made me want to retch, anger so fucking black I had to fight the urge to punch the wall.

Her eyes were right on me. “Unless… unless they wouldn’t want to… unless it was shit… I’m out of practice, it’s been a while…” Her cheeks turned pink as I watched, her shoulders sagging.

Fucking hell.

I couldn’t do it to her.

“It wasn’t shit,” I said. “Christ, Jo, of course it wasn’t.”

“Then what? What is it?”

She had no fucking idea.

I took the envelope back and slipped it in my pocket. She looked so relieved. “I booked you in early last time as a favour,” I lied. “We’ve usually got a backlog. It might take some time.”

She nodded. “I see.”

No. No, you don’t fucking see.

“A couple of weeks,” I said. “That’ll
be the absolute earliest. Diary’s pretty rammed.”

She smiled but it was awkward. She wouldn’t look at me. “I guess you can thank Mandy Taylor for that.”

I wouldn’t be thanking Mandy Taylor for fucking anything. “I’ll have to let you know when.”

“Thanks,” she said. “I get you’re busy. I don’t expect to jump the queue.”

The thought turned my fucking stomach. I lit up a cigarette. “Righto.”

She nodded. “Good.”

Was it hell.

“I’d best be going,” I said. “Shit to do.”

She laughed a weak laugh. “Guess you’ve got to get that backlog down.”

“I’ll be seeing you,” I said.

I called goodbye to the girls and Nanna and got the hell out of there.

Ladies who lunch was off for me this week. Instead I was sitting outside Mrs Webber’s office, waiting for an audience about Mia’s Tyler Dean problem.

It had taken a real effort to get to the bottom of what the hell was going on. Mia had been determined to play it down, right to the bitter end. She’d cried when it finally came out, the whole sorry story of him and his dickhead friends taunting her all the way through the bus journey. It had broken my heart.

Please don’t tell the school, Mum! Please don’t! It’ll only make it worse!

I’d assured her it wouldn’t. Assured her that Mrs Webber
would get this crap sorted out in a heartbeat. That’s what head teachers are for, I’d said.

Eventually she’d listened, but she’d gone to sleep hugging Mr Fluff, her tatty old teddy, and I hadn’t seen her do that in years.

“Miss Symmonds?” Mrs Webber appeared from the staffroom, she shook my hand before opening her office door for me. I took a seat on the chair in front of her desk, took a breath.

She sat herself down opposite, smile polite and professional. “I understand you have concerns about bullying?”

“On the bus,” I said. “Tyler Dean and some of his friends.”

“Go on…” she encouraged, and I did go on. I told her everything, every taunt, every sneer, every horrible name those assholes had called my daughter when she was supposed to be in a safe environment.

Mrs Webber nodded, jotted down notes. “We take this kind of accusation very seriously,” she said. “We have a zero tolerance bullying policy here.” She pointed to a poster on the wall, a big smiley face with
Say no to bullies
in bold font.

“What happens now?” I asked. “Mia’s very worried, she doesn’t want any repercussions from this.”

“I’ll call him in,” she said. “And then I’ll be calling his mother, I’ve already looked her details up from his file.”

I smiled. “Thank you,” I said
. “I appreciate it.”

“Anytime,” she said, and got to her feet. I shook her hand. “I’ll keep you informed.”

She’d better do.

I pulled out my phone to text Darren, thinking it probably best to give him the lowdown on what was going on. I typed out a message, just the essentials, but my stomach churned at the thought of the angry questions, the very idea of him charging on in like a bull in a china shop and causing a right bloody hoo-hah.

I deleted the message before I sent it.

I’d handle it myself first, then give him the details later. It’s not like I couldn’t deal with this, and things with Darren were already… complicated.

My heart pounded.

Darren
.

The way he’d felt inside me. The way his body felt against mine. The way I’d wanted him so much I couldn’t even bear it.

The thought that he was probably humping some skanky posh bitch at that very minute sobered up my desires enough to put that phone back in my handbag and get with the plot.

I picked up Nanna’s pills from the chemist and tried my best not to give him another bloody thought.

I could hardly bear to fucking look at them. Not any of them.

I holed myself up in the office with the radio on, kept myself focused on invoicing and nothing else. I didn’t even greet customers, just kept my head down and hoped this nasty shit feeling in my gut would clear the fuck off.

I handled the calls when they came in, some car related, some not. They all got the same gruff treatment; I didn’t give two shits who they were today.

I opened up the black book and scribbled out anything Bang Gang related in the coming few weeks. There wasn’t all that much to scrub, I’d already been holding back most of it.
Mid-November earliest
, I told the callers.
That’s when we’re looking at.