At His Pleasure: Addie Learns the Ropes (10 page)

Chapter Sixteen

A full week went by and I almost lost my marbles.

I read every book I could find in the house, having discovered that dad had also taken away my TV privileges. First I re-read all the old fantasy novels I had on my bookshelves. Then I read the Chronicles of Narnia...my mom’s old issues of Redbook...even flipped through all the college brochures that I had been storing in the back of my closet.

That was a mistake. I don’t know what I was thinking.

Now I knew that dad really meant it when he threatened to pull my deposit at Penn State, it sent a pang through my belly every time I looked at the pictures of cheerful students, grinning with their friends and books. I had assumed my whole life that this would be my future, and it hurt to have it wrenched away from me like this.

I swallowed, feeling a faint nausea come over me.

I hauled it all downstairs and dumped every single one of the brochures into the recycling bin.

* * * *

Mom must have assumed that I was just sulking over being grounded. Finally, on Monday night she offered to take me out to the town library so I could get something new to read. I jumped at the chance.

She left me alone in the stacks for a while. I didn’t even know where to start—I grabbed a few random fantasy novels and paged through them, not really reading anything.
I always did like fantasy
, I thought to myself.
They made me feel like I could escape reality...even if it was just for a little while.

I walked towards the exit when something on a table caught my eye.

It was a catalog from the local community college. It wasn’t as nice as the fancy brochures that I had collected, but this...this was within reach, right? I had no idea if dad would even let me attend community college—I mean, I had no clue what he would do if I stuck to my guns and refused to go through with what he wanted me to do. Would he try to keep me locked up in the house forever?

No.
The thought shot through my mind like fire as my hands clenched around the catalog.
I would never let him
. I started planning, my heart beating quickly as I figured out a plan.
I could get a job at Cafe Rouge downtown...or maybe even a receptionist job somewhere, since I’ve been a secretary already. I could rent a room from Craigslist. I could work for six months to build up some savings and then start community college in the spring. Two semesters of that and maybe I can transfer to someplace out of state.

“Addie?” Mom was walking towards me. “Hope you weren’t trying to sneak out or something. Your father wouldn’t be happy about that.” She stepped past me on her way towards the circulation desk.

Out of state...
away from my parents. I could build my own future. As I trailed behind mom, I felt the first glimmer of hope.

I’m Adeline Curtis. What can’t I do when I put my mind to it?

* * * *

When we got home I avoided dinner as usual. A few hours later I made myself a plate of leftover lasagna and mashed potatoes and ate the cold dinner on my bed, flipping through the catalog. There weren’t many classes, but there were enough to cover the prerequisites I needed to transfer. Nothing fancy or exciting, but it was
something
.

By the time I finished my food I’d read through the catalog twice. I tucked it under my pillow and walked downstairs to put my dish away.

Halfway to the kitchen I heard dad talking, and stopped dead in my tracks. I could have sworn that I heard him say
Jon…

I put the dish down on the table and tip toed towards the den. The door was open, and through the open crack I could see him walk past me with a phone to his ear. I strained to hear what he was saying.

“No. It’s not that. Not at all. She’s just not interested in the internship anymore.”

I gasped. He was talking about
me
—he had to be!

“I don’t know what to say to you, Jon. Y’know, I tried to talk her out of it. You know how women can be, though, don’t ya? She just changes her mind like that and then that’s it, what can you do?”

His footsteps stopped. “Well...no, no, she doesn’t want to talk to you. She hasn’t picked up any of your calls, has she?”

My fists balled up so tight I could feel my fingernails slicing into my skin.

“Yeah. Figured she wouldn’t. Well, I can’t convince her to do anything. She’s a real stubborn kid.”

That much was true, anyway.
I could feel myself getting dizzy as I breathed as lightly as I could.

“No, no, no, don’t do that. Hey, my wife’s calling me. I’ve gotta go, Jon. See you around.”

I climbed back upstairs as quickly as I could, praying that he didn’t notice me eavesdropping.

As for my heart...it was beating fast and hard, for a completely different reason.

I lay down on the bed, desperate to come to terms with what I had just heard. He was trying to reach me—that much was clear. He was still in Japan, but someone must have alerted him to the fact that I didn’t show up at the office. Or realized that something was wrong when I didn’t pick up the phone.

He must have thought I skipped work
. I hugged myself, wishing I could talk to him, email him, do
something
.

The big question was: did Mr. Banks believe all the lies he was told about me suddenly changing my mind and quitting the internship? The possibility left me feeling cold. My father could be a very convincing man when he wanted to be…

* * * *

I fell asleep, falling into dreams almost immediately. It felt like I was floating for a while, and then I saw him—his stormy eyes, his chiseled jaw, his tall, lean body. He was coming towards me like we were moving in slow motion, stalking me like a predator.

“Kneel,” he ordered.

I looked down and realized that I was naked...I could see my pink nipples and creamy skin...and even my shaven pussy. I let my knees drop to the floor, peering up at my master, the man who commanded my entire body and soul. He was brushing the hair off my face with a tender hand but the look in his eyes was fierce. It looked like he wanted to devour me.

I wrapped my arms around his legs as if pleading, my breasts pressing against him. He felt so
real
. He buried his hand in my hair and yanked my head back so I was gazing up at him.

“Sweet little Addie,” he murmured. “I’ve been waiting to do this for a long, long time.”

He leaned over me, pressing a strangely sweet kiss to my lips. His hands slid down over my throat, firm and possessive.

“Oh,” I gasped, as I felt something foreign clicking into place at the back of my neck. I reached my hands up and touched it—it was a collar. A beautiful, soft leather collar, tight against my throat.

“Now everyone will know that you’re mine,” he said, running a finger along the collar’s edge. “Everywhere you go...at every moment...you belong to me.”

I tried to speak but in my dream, in his presence, I was totally mute.

His toy. His lover. His slave.

Everything seemed to blur and then suddenly we were back in his office, and I was standing behind that familiar wood desk, the edge of it biting into my naked thighs.

Beyond the desk, in front of me, was...well, everyone. That woman that had greeted me on my first day. The entire legal department. Strange and familiar faces. They were all watching us...waiting...

At last, I could feel Mr. Banks stirring behind me. His hard cock pressing against my ass. It was as if I knew what to do—I leaned forward until my forearms rested on the desk, my naked cheeks jutting up beautifully, my breasts crushed against the wood.

He ran a hand all the way from my collar to my ass, coming to rest on my wet slit. He was stroking it, petting it, teasing the tender flesh before he finally set the head of his cock between my dripping folds.

This was the moment...this was the moment when everyone would witness his ownership, my obedience, and my submission.

Mr. Banks pressed into me, his cock feeling thicker and harder than ever, each inch stretching me open. My head fell forward as his shaft pushed my folds apart, raising my hips by instinct and letting him in so deep that I dreamed I could feel nothing else. There was only him behind me and his cock inside me.

“Good girl,” he groaned. He began to thrust, his rhythm slow but sure. Every thrust drove me into the sharp edge of the desk but in the dream I could feel no pain...only pure sensation throbbed through me, flooded every inch of my body.

I moaned out my pleasure as he fucked me, my body convulsing beneath him, feeling like this could stretch into eternity—he could fuck me endlessly, stay inside me forever…

Our audience watched silently as I cried and thrashed beneath him, starting to shake now, tightening around his cock as I came and came and came. I could feel that familiar hotness inside my pussy, streams of his cum filling me up, spilling down my thighs and burning down my skin.

Proof. Proof of his devotion and his ownership.

* * * *

I snapped awake, gasping, the wet triangle of flesh between my legs fluttering with the pleasure of my climax.

Oh my god, I didn’t know this was even possible…

I reached under my panties and worked my clit, rubbing it between my folds, squeezing it, prolonging the orgasm until suddenly I was riding another wave. I bit my lip and held back a squeal, pressing my fingers into my puss, my hips thrusting into the air with an obscene frenzy.

“Oh god...Mr. Banks,” I sighed as the orgasm began to fade, leaving my skin damp and flushed.

I laid there on the bed for a few moments, panting, shocked by the force of the dream. I was never one of those girls who were super into horoscopes and dreams, but...this one had to mean something, right?

My entire body tingled as I slowly slid into full awareness. Oh, but it had felt so
real
, too. The way the audience watched me...and the collar around my neck…

I raised a hand to my throat. It was strange to feel it so bare. It was as if being collared felt more natural somehow…

I didn’t feel whole without Mr. Banks. I wondered if he had the same dream on the other side of the world. I pulled my blanket up tight around me.

The dream told me one thing and one thing only: I had to find a way to get back to the man I belonged to.

Chapter Seventeen

I woke up in the morning feeling strange.
Must have been the dream
.

But my intuition reached for something else. I didn’t know what it was...only that it would come to me in time.

I dressed slowly and came down to breakfast. Dad was already gone, thank god, so it was just me and mom. She handed me a plate of pancakes and bacon. I don’t know if she was just trying to be diplomatic, but she didn’t say a single thing about the fact that this was the first time I’d come down for a meal in a week.

We ate quietly. I didn’t know what to say, either. I was about to get up and put my dish in the sink when she finally spoke.

“Hey, honey,” she said. “You busy today?”

I frowned. “Am I ever?”

“I’m going grocery shopping in an hour. You can come with me if you want.”

I thought about it for a minute. It was another chance to escape the house—who knew when I’d get that chance again? I’d better take it.

“Okay,” I said. I had a strange feeling about everything, right now...maybe some sunlight and fresh air would do the trick.

* * * *

Dressed in a slouchy hoodie and sweats, I trailed behind mom in the grocery store. I don’t know that she even wanted my company...but maybe she felt sorry for me. Hard to say. I followed her around the produce aisle for ten minutes until I got bored.

“I’m going to get some cereal,” I told her. “We’re almost out of Cap’n Crunch.”

She didn’t even turn around. “I don’t know why you like eating that disgusting stuff,” she said. “But do what you want.”

I walked aimlessly down the aisles for a while, picking up a bag of chips and some cookies. I didn’t even notice what aisle I was in until I saw them: packaged in pink and white boxes—pregnancy tests.

I froze on the spot.

Oh my god.
That weird feeling I had in my belly...my listlessness and nausea…the way every other smell made me want to throw up.

Could it be?

I stared at the rows and rows of tests, my heart thumping in my chest. I couldn’t explain this to mom without her freaking out...and I didn’t have any money anyways. There was only one thing I could do.

I glanced around—there was a little old lady down at the other end of the aisle, but maybe she wouldn’t notice. There was no time to wait—mom could be coming to find me at any minute.

Turning my back to the old lady, I grabbed a test and tucked it into the pouch on my hoodie.

I took slow, casual steps away from the aisle, even though I could feel how sweaty my palms were getting as I clutched the test.
I’ll come back when I have money and buy a whole pack of candy bars
, I promised my guilty conscience. Maybe there was some other way—but I had to know soon.

Even as I walked my mind was swirling with the possibilities.
Chill, Addie, chill,
I told myself.
It might not be anything. You’re acting crazy for no good reason...it’s just your mind playing tricks on you!

Yet I could still feel my gut warning me that something was up. Something big. Something that would change my life.

I was so dazed that I bumped right into mom.

“Addie!” She glared at me. “You need to watch where you’re going, sweetheart!”

I clenched the test in my fist, my mouth dry. “Sorry, mom.”

“I don’t know what’s the matter with you lately,” she muttered, turning back to her cart. “First you quit your internship, and now you’re walking around like a zombie. Whatever it is, you’d better snap out of it soon and start acting your age.”

I bit my tongue. “Okay,” I murmured. “I’ll try and stop being so inconvenient,” I muttered under my breath.

Inconvenient. That word basically described everything about my life right now.
I fingered the test again, half out of fear that it would fall out and half with anticipation.

* * * *

When we got home I hurried and carried in all the groceries, then ran up the stairs with big bounding steps. This couldn’t wait any longer.

Locking myself in the bathroom, I took out the test with trembling hands and read the directions slowly, with care. This was my one shot, and I couldn’t screw it up.

A few minutes later, I was leaning against the sink, my legs shaking.

Positive.

I stared at the test. It seemed to go out of focus as I gripped the sink, willing myself to stay upright. It didn’t seem possible but the result was clear as day.

I was carrying Mr. Banks’s baby.

* * * *

I picked up the test, feeling its weight, swearing to myself that this
had
to be real. This was all happening. The dream—it was like a prophecy. Nothing tied me to him like this baby would…

I leaned my head against the bathroom door. I was getting ahead of myself. That was assuming he wanted the baby, of course. And remembering the look in his eyes on our last night together...I had a feeling he would. That look of love and possessiveness was unlike anything else I had ever seen.

And in fact, wasn’t it was the ultimate stamp of ownership?

There was a sudden rapping on the door, breaking into my dreamy thoughts. “Addie!” It was mom. “Are you going to be in there all night? It’s time for dinner.”

I took a deep breath. I couldn’t trust myself around them—now more than ever.

“Not hungry,” I snapped, the annoyance in my voice real. “I’ll just have cereal later, okay? Can I get some freaking privacy please?” I shoved the test back in my pocket, hoping that my nervousness didn’t show.

I stayed in the bathroom until I heard her footsteps going back downstairs. When I was sure she was gone, I left the bathroom and fled to my bedroom, locking the door behind me. I slid down until I was sitting on the floor, desperate to collect my thoughts.

For a few moments after I saw the result, fantasies of raising a child with Mr. Banks flashed through my mind. But remembering my parents reminded me that it was all a bad idea. I knew the girls who’d accidentally gotten knocked up in high school—only a few of them made it to graduation, and most of them never made it to college. All the honor students like me assumed it would never happen to us...but look where I was now.

Pregnant with my boss’s baby.

It was probably a mistake to think that I should keep it. I was so young, and Mr. Banks was a confirmed bachelor, after all. What did I know about being a mom? I couldn’t even keep a cactus alive, and let alone a human being. My plans for college, even community college...what would happen if I had a baby to take care of, on top of all that? And despite my silly fantasies, how could I assume that Mr. Banks would want him, or her?

My thoughts drifted to my mother. I had no idea how she’d react. She wasn’t exactly maternal...and she was so concerned with appearances—god knows what the other women at the country club would say if they found out about her daughter getting knocked up by her boss. But maybe she’d want a grandchild, no matter how it came to be. For a while I waffled back and forth, wondering if I should tell her.
Yes
: she could help me out. Get me to the doctor, hide my secret for as long as possible.
No
: she’d know what I’d done with Mr. Banks.

But really, she wasn’t the one I was worried about.

There was a much more dangerous man to consider: my father. I knew that if he found out, he’d try and use the pregnancy against Mr. Banks. He’d say it would be obvious proof of Mr. Banks’s debauched ways—I could almost picture him grinning and rubbing his hands with glee. And there was no way in hell I would
ever
let my child be his bargaining chip, especially against its own father.

No...for now, I had to keep the pregnancy hidden from everyone. Most of all my father. And I couldn’t tell mom, in case she couldn’t keep a secret.

I touched a hand to my stomach, suddenly finding my focus. It was pure instinct acting on me, and it wasn’t logical. But I knew that in spite of everything, this was the one thing I now had to protect more than anything else.

* * * *

I had the strangest dreams that night—even stranger than the night before. All I knew is that every time I woke up I was covered in sweat, my lips dry and my heart racing. Maybe it was the pregnancy...maybe it was Mr. Banks...maybe it was my father, who had transformed from someone I loved into a total villain. Every time I woke up I walked around my room, pacing until my nerves died down and I could try to get back to sleep.

It was three in the morning and I got up to use the bathroom. On my way back I happened to pass by the window and a familiar shape caught my eye—

I ran to the window and peered out. I couldn’t believe it...was I imagining things?

It was
Joe!

He was sitting in his black car, but I recognized his bald head and stocky frame.
Did Mr. Banks send him? Has he been here every night...and I never noticed him?
I lifted the window open, gritting my teeth as I tried to do it slowly and quietly. The humid summer air blew against my face as I leaned out into the night.

“Joe?” I mouthed softly, hardly trusting myself to speak. I waved a hand in the direction of the car. “Joe!”

I leaned out a little further, digging my toes into the carpet. I waved both arms at him now, frantic. “Joe!” I lurched so far forward that I almost fell out of the window. I grabbed the window frame and dug into it with my nails.

But he didn’t seem to see me. A few minutes later he flicked on his lights, turned on the car and drove off. I pushed myself back, my feet landing safely on the carpet.

I watched him go, fear and excitement warring in my chest. If he was here tonight...maybe he’d been here before. And more importantly, maybe he’d come again...and I’d have a way to return to the man I loved.