Read And De Fun Don't Done Online

Authors: Robert G. Barrett

And De Fun Don't Done (34 page)

There were four people in the pool; Les ignored them, threw his towel on a chair and flopped straight in. Again the water was wet and clear and that was about it. As far as cooling you off went, if a Bondi iceberg fell in he'd end up with third degree burns. But again it was cleansing enough and a few laps along with a few duck dives in the deep end got rid of the sweat along with the cobwebs. Les climbed out, got under the pool shower for a while then retreated from the heat back inside the condo. By the time he'd made some coffee and a sandwich, swallowed more glasses of orange juice then washed some T-shirts in the bath and hung them from the rafters in the verandah it was almost ten. He got into a plain white T-shirt and shorts then threw some things in his backpack just as there was a knock on the door. Les turned off the lights and the air-conditioning and stepped outside.

‘G'day, Ricco. How's it goin'?'

‘I'm doin' just fine.' Ricco was wearing neat blue shorts and lemon-coloured T-shirt; sitting on his head were a pair of Bollés. ‘You lookin' forward to a run out in the gulf?'

‘Yeah. It's sure bloody hot enough,' said Les. He locked the door and they walked towards the car.

‘Vinnie tells me you had some good-looking broad out his joint on Tuesday night. Who was she?'

‘Just some sheila works on a marina. I met her when I was out with Hank one night. Her name's Lori something-or-other.'

‘Uh-huh.'

‘Funny thing. I didn't even know that was Vinnie's restaurant. We just fluked it.'

‘Vinnie put a good rap on you. Said you were aces.'

‘I don't know about that,' smiled Norton. ‘But the food was aces. It was great.'

‘Yeah. Vinnie does a good meal. Maybe you'll see her again and the four of us can have dinner?'

‘Yeah okay. That'd be good.' Yeah. Real good, thought Les.

Laverne was sitting on the front seat of the Mercedes wearing baggy white shorts, a pink tank-top and sunglasses. She smiled broadly when she saw Norton.

‘Hi, Les. How are you?'

‘Pretty good, thanks, Laverne,' replied Norton, climbing in the back. ‘How's yourself?'

‘I'm fine.' she swivelled round and continued to smile at Les. ‘Ricco tells me you're becoming quite a ladies' man. One at the condo on Sunday night. Another for dinner at Vinnie's on Tuesday. You're a regular Julio Iglesias, aren't you?'

‘It's just my boyish Australian charm,' smiled Les. ‘But I still haven't come across one as sweet as you yet, Laverne.'

‘Oh you're such a kidder, Les.'

Ricco hit the ignition. ‘I'd better move the car before the wheels get stuck in all this bullshit.'

‘Yeah,' agreed Norton. ‘There's a bit of it around.'

They turned right out the front of the estate and headed along the same wide road that took Les to the shopping mall the previous day. Laverne waffled on, asking Les had he heard from Hank, what he'd been up to and who was his latest squeeze. Les said he hadn't heard from Hank — which was true — and he certainly didn't mention Lori was a cop. As they went past the mall he pointed out that was where he went shopping before he
drove over to St Almonds Circle. He made a joke about the frog bands but didn't mention buying the ones with the big dongers. Ricco had the radio tuned softly to some middle of the road station, so it was polite conversation and polite muzak as they drove further south. Despite the easy, air-conditioned banter while they cruised along Ricco seemed a little pensive. Even Laverne would go quiet now and again. Maybe Les was imagining it, but he seemed to pick up a funny vibe in the air, as if there was something going on between them and they weren't letting on. Whether there was or not, Les didn't let on, he just chattered away as they headed further south now on some monster freeway full of trucks and cars going past what seemed like an endless row of stores and takeaway food shops dotted with the odd supermarket or shopping centre. Ricco spoke just as a sign loomed up on the right saying Salmo.

‘My coffee shop's just a bit further on. I'll show you.'

‘Righto,' nodded Les.

They drove about another mile or so and Ricco slowed up as they went past a small block of shops separated from the freeway by parking bays. There were a few shops, including hairdressers and some sort of hardware store, and set on the approaching corner was the shop. It wasn't all that big but it was neat and modern-looking, painted mostly black, white and brown. A half-dozen glass tables and wicker-backed chrome chairs sat out the front with some potted palms underneath a candy-striped canvas awning. A sign in black sitting above the awning said ‘Ricco's Rendezvous'. It said the same on the windows next to a white cup and saucer with steam rising off it. The place seemed to have a certain style and class about it as they drove past, but no customers sitting out the front. Les didn't notice any through the glass door either.

‘Yeah, that looks alright, Ricco,' said Norton, watching it disappear out the rear window. ‘If the coffee's as good as what you made me the other night, you should do alright.'

‘It gets me a living.' Laverne and Ricco exchanged a wry look when he said that. ‘You're gonna have to come down for a cup. You think that stuff at home was good, wait till you try the specialty of the house. Riccochinno I call it. Make the blind see, the lame walk and the deaf and the dumb hear and talk.'

‘Sounds pretty good,' laughed Les.

‘You come down tomorrow around lunchtime and I'll do you a chinno and provolone with yucatan pickle on Cuban bread. You won't know what hit you. You'll be ringing your buddies in Australia telling them to get their asses over here fast as they can.

‘Okay, Ricco. You got me for coffee around lunchtime tomorrow.'

Another mile past the coffee shop Ricco turned right at a sign saying Wharf Road. The road was narrower and seemed to be mainly warehouses or nautical shops. They got to where the road stopped at the water and Ricco pulled up and switched off the motor. They seemed to be surrounded by massive concrete and wooden storage sheds built over a concrete wharf or docking area. They got out of the car and Ricco took an ice-box from the boot. When he opened it to move the ice around Les noticed half a dozen bottles of O'Doulls, the same of Millers Lite and two bottles of white wine. A fair-haired guy in a pair of white overalls with ‘Salmo Marine' on the back came over, said something to Ricco and pointed. Ricco motioned for Les to follow him. Offering to carry the ice-box, Norton followed behind along a walkway and down some steps. He was expecting a marina jutting out over the water with boats bobbing up and down all moored alongside. Instead, when he looked into one of the monstrous concrete sheds, there were dozens and dozens of huge powerboats and cruisers stacked up on the walls, almost like bottles in a wine cellar. Parked on the concrete floor was the biggest forklift Les had ever seen, holding up a boat at least fifty feet long ready for stacking or putting in the water. So that's how it works, surmised Les. They stack and store your boat for you
then when you want it they drop it in the drink for you like a rubber ducky in a bath tub. Very convenient. Ricco's boat was tied up almost at the bottom of the steps. It was the full-on ‘Miami Vice' special: or close enough. About thirty-five feet long, painted gleaming white with a black and tan trim and more chrome than Elvis Presley's Cadillacs. The seats at the rear were a plush, padded black, the front had a half cabin underneath with a chrome rail running round it all the way back to the bridge or cockpit. A white spoiler arched over the back and behind it were two shiny black 125 HP Evinrudes. There was no name, just a number. D601- L49.

‘Nice boat,' said Les.

‘It gets me around,' replied Ricco casually.

Les stepped on board and stowed the ice-box under a seat as Ricco and Laverne did the same with the two carry-bags they had. ‘What do you want me to do?' he asked, looking around him.

‘Nothing,' answered Ricco. ‘We can handle it.'

‘Righto.'

Norton made himself comfortable on one of the seats and wiped his sunglasses with his T-shirt while Laverne and Ricco cast off the two lines holding the boat. Laverne sat opposite Les while Ricco settled down behind the controls. He hit a button and the twin Evinrudes rumbled into life in perfect unison. Ricco let them idle for a minute or two then pushed the throttle forward a fraction and they moved off smoother than honey on a slice of hot toast.

Norton sat back, toffing it up a little, and tried to figure out where they were. Ricco turned right once they left the docking area and they seemed to be going slowly along what looked like a wide, flat river. But from what he remembered of his map Les figured it would be another inlet among all the keys, as this part of Florida seemed to be dotted with shallow keys and inlets or mangrove- covered sandbars sticking out of the water. They rumbled along past a pole with a sign saying 8 MPH and now there
were huge houses built on the water's edge with their own private jetties or surrounded by either parkland or private property. A bit further on a huge white boat loomed up on the right with ‘US Coastguard' painted along the side in black and a wide orange band painted round the hull with the coastguard seal on it. The stars and stripes hung off the stern and the whole thing bristled with cannons and machine guns. Les was glad he was only joking about getting into a fire fight with them. With all that armament, not counting what was below, you'd last about two minutes. Ricco didn't say anything as they went past the patrol boat, but Les noticed him turn round and give Laverne a wink.

They cruised on a bit more, finally leaving the inlet and entering a long narrow bay; there was shoreline off to the left and right and in front of them was a long skinny spit, or key, with an inlet going through it. The water was a kind of soupy blue-green, there still wasn't a breath of wind and when Les looked up to the sky he now noticed a band of thick grey clouds moving in from the north. If it was hot earlier it must have gone up another twenty degrees; Norton's T-shirt was soaked. Laverne got some block-out from one of the bags and began spreading some on herself and Ricco. Not a bad idea, thought Les, getting some Coppertone out of his backpack, plus his blue Roosters cap. Slip, slap, slop. Me no fry. No, just fuckin' dissolve if I don't get one of those beers out of that ice-box and into me. Next thing they were through the inlet and heading into a huge expanse of calm green water.

‘This is the Gulf of Mexico,' said Ricco. ‘I'll cruise out there for a while then we'll come back the other side of town through the Main Pass.'

Norton was about to say ‘aye-aye, Captain' or something when Ricco hit the throttle and the boat took off like it was jet propelled, throwing Les sideways as it almost leapt straight out of the ocean. The Evinrudes dug in again, Les grabbed his hat and moved further back in the seat with his back to the stern.

It was a buzz and a half because Norton had never been in a boat as powerful as this; the big craft literally skimmed across the water with the spoiler keeping it down. There were no waves, just a few tiny swells, so they didn't make any gigantic leaps, but there was plenty of noise as the ocean rattled and banged beneath the hull. Behind them the twin Evinrudes roared power, spreading a creaming, foaming wake across where they'd been. Well this is alright, thought Les, the wind howling round his ears as they headed out into the Gulf of Mexico. I could think of worse ways to put in an afternoon; and it looks like getting better. Laverne went to the ice-box and got Ricco an O'Doulls so Norton thought he might do the same, only he took a Millers. While he was there he also opened a bottle of riesling for Laverne. Half the bottle of Millers went down in about one swallow, making Les let out a massive burp which was hidden by the roar of the motors. He sat back and sucked on his Millers while Laverne and Ricco got into some sort of a conversation. They weren't quite ignoring him, but whatever they were talking about seemed, if not deadly serious, at least important.

Whatever, Les didn't take too much notice. He sat back, demolished the rest of his beer and enjoyed the breeze as they blasted out into the Gulf of Mexico. After the amount of booze Norton had had the previous night, the one can of lite beer had put a bit of a head on any that was left in his system and he was starting to feel a little blissful as well as refreshed. So blissful in fact that he thought he might be a rude guest and help himself to another Millers: without even bothering to ask. Not that Laverne and Ricco would have noticed anyway, they were still deeply engrossed in their head-to-head and checking charts and watches. Norton left them alone and concentrated on his surroundings. The first thing he noticed was that they were a bloody long way out from shore. Also, that thick dark band of clouds he'd noticed earlier had got darker, spreading right across the horizon and, even though the sun was still out in force, was
covering the sky rapidly. Ricco drank more O'Doulls and continued to rocket into the gulf. As far as friendly conversation went and pointing different things out to a visitor from another country, Ricco hardly spoke at all and gave the impression that he wanted to keep to himself. This kind of suited Les in a way, although he wouldn't have minded jumping behind the controls for a while; but he left him alone. After a while Laverne came down and got a pair of binoculars from one of the carry- bags. She saw Les watching her and reached over.

‘I use these to watch out for dolphins. They're cool.'

‘Yeah,' yelled Les, over the throbbing of the Evinrudes. ‘We get them back in Australia. I sometimes see them off the beach where I live.'

‘They're lovely. I don't like what the Japanese do to them though.'

‘Yeah. I got to agree with you there, Laverne. The low bastards need a good kick up the date the way they slaughter them.'

Laverne got back up next to Ricco and began watching for dolphins as they continued to blast on. It was nice to know Laverne had a kind spot in her heart for some of the ocean's most beautiful and harmless creatures. But something did have Norton guessing just a little: if she's on the watch for dolphins, how come she keeps looking up at the sky all the time? I didn't think dolphins flew. I thought they swam.

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