Read Ai of the Mountain (A Fairy Retelling #2) Online
Authors: Dorian Tsukioka
honne
– a person’s true feelings
kimono
– traditional Japanese dress
kitsune
– a fox, thought to have mystical or spiritual qualities; a kitsune spirit could transform from a fox to a human
konbanwa
– ‘Good evening’
konnichiwa
– ‘Hello’; ‘Good afternoon’
obasan
– aunt; sometimes used to refer to older woman
okaasan
- mother
ohayou
– ‘Good morning’
ojiisan
– grandfather; sometimes used to refer to an elderly man
onigiri
– rice ball
otousan
- father
-san
– honorific attached to the end of a name; ‘Mr,’ ‘Miss,’ ‘Ms.,’ “Mrs.’ (Note: Japanese names are introduced opposite of Western names, in the following manner: Family Name, Given Name)
seiza
– a position of sitting on one’s knees, with feet tucked underneath the buttocks
shouji
– sliding door made of a bamboo frame and covered with semi-translucent washi paper
tatami
– a traditional Japanese flooring made of rice straw
tatemae
– literally “façade”; feelings shown in public as opposed to one’s true feelings.
washi
– handmade, Japanese paper
yukata
– a casual, thin kimono or robe
Author’s Note
Thank you so much for taking the time to read Ai of the Mountain. If you enjoyed my story, and would like to stay informed of new releases, as well as receive discounts on future books, make sure to join my mailing list by going to
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You’ll get access to the first chapters of an upcoming novel I’m working on as well.
The inspiration for
Ai of the Mountain
came from a writing contest. The goal of the contest was to write a new version of the classic fairy tale,
Beauty and the Beast
. For the contest, the story could be dramatically different, as long as key elements of the story were still present. However, the rules did not specify which key elements. It was up to the writer to determine that.
So, here’s what I decided had to be present in order for the story to be a true retelling of
Beauty and the Beast
:
• An element of magic that turns a selfish or arrogant person into a beast of some sort
• The beast has to have a change of heart and grow into a selfless person
• The heroine both betrays the beast and saves him
• The beast transforms into a person
There are other elements to the story, of course. Some of them I included, and some I didn’t. For instance, in the story I grew up with, the girl’s father takes a rose for his daughter from the beast’s castle, which angers the beast. There’s also a magic mirror which the beast allows the girl to use to see her family. I didn’t use either of these elements, not because I didn’t want to, but because the story simply didn’t bend that way as I wrote it. (I did, however, make the golden coins that came from Grandfather Koi’s scales rose-shaped as an homage to the rose in the traditional story.)
This is actually the second
Beauty and the Beast
story I wrote that was inspired by the writing contest. Every time I write a fairy tale retelling, I try to think of a new, unique twist. How can I make it different? Maybe what was good in the original story can become bad, and whatever bad can become good. Maybe the main characters’ roles can be switched. Maybe the setting for the story can be someplace very different than the original. This last idea is what I decided to do with
Ai of the Mountain
, and the other
Beauty and the Beast
-inspired story. The first story was set in the Amazonian jungle. I loved putting the story someplace completely foreign to the original story. I decided to do the same thing with this story, but instead, set it in feudal Japan.
After deciding which elements of the original story to keep, I thought about where in Japan I wanted to have the story take place. For me, setting is crucial. It’s like another character in the story. I have to have a very vivid mental image of where the story is happening, in order for me to write it.
Because I lived in Japan for three years, I naturally was inclined to place the story in a familiar setting. In fact, I lived in the town of Kawatana, near Nagasaki city. I have no idea if Kawatana was even a town back in the Edo-period of Japan, but in my imagination, it was a small village set at the base of a great mountain, next to the Omura Bay.
The present Kawatana sits near a large mountain, called Mt. Kokuzo. I decided to change the name to Kawatana Mountain, to help the reader connect the mountain with the village in the story. I also didn’t want to overwhelm the reader with too much Japanese.
I made a very conscious decision about which words to include in the story in their Japanese form. It was a tough decision. I finally decided to translate words for greetings (hello, good morning), people (mother, father, daimyo), and Japanese objects that aren’t found readily in the Western world (onigiri, obento, washi paper, shoji, furoshiki, tatami). All of these things are very much a part of Japanese life, so I decided to include their Japanese terms, instead of always translating them to English. I provided the glossary at the end of the story to help readers maintain their understanding of the words, though none of the words are integral to understanding the main bulk of the story. I hope you found them interesting, and that the Japanese terms helped make the setting of the story more real in your head.
After deciding which basic
Beauty and the Beast
elements to keep, deciding that I wanted the story to take place in Japan, I came up with a very basic idea for the plot. It went something like this:
Japanese girl has talking koi fish; Girl is threatened by bad guy; Fish somehow is able to help her (give his scales and they turn into gold??); Bad guy demands more gold; Girl/Fish fight bad guy – he loses; Fish nearly dies; Girl tries to save him; Fish turns into “handsome prince”; they all live happily ever after.
It wasn’t a great plot, but it was at least somewhere to start. It was the basics, at least.
I used this very basic plot idea to create a more fleshed-out timeline of the story. I wrote a paragraph for each important “beat”, or moment, that I wanted to have in the story. I ended up with about 15 of these “beats.” Some of them became entire chapters to themselves, such as the first time Ai meets Lord Nakaguchi and he’s completely inappropriate.
Next, I thought about the characters of the story. I tend to be a very plot-driven writer. Some writers think of the characters first, but not so with me. I usually have a basic idea of the characters in my head, but it takes awhile before I really get to know them. I have to write about them in a few chapters before I really feel like I know them.
I also have to know what my characters look like as I am writing them. I’m not satisfied with just seeing them in my imagination; I have to have some sort of image that inspires me. So, I searched through the internet to find pictures of men and women in feudal Japan to help guide me. I wanted to know what Ai looked like, what Kaito looked like, as well as all the other characters of the story. I put a document together with their pictures, as well as a brief character synopsis that describes their background and how they fit in the story. If you would like to see what Kaito, Ai, Lord Nakaguchi, and all the rest of the characters look like in my imagination, you can view them on the Pinterest page I created for
Ai of the Mountain.
Go to
https://www.pinterest.com/doriantsukioka/ai-of-the-mountain/
to check out the images that helped inspire me.
After I had the initial plot ideas, the setting taken care of, and my characters all lined up, I was ready to write. As with any story I write, the beginning goes very smoothly. I have a strong idea of what I want to happen every time I start a story, so that part is easy enough. But after a few chapters, things…really…slow…down.
One of the problems I had was with Grandfather Koi/Kaito. When I first planned the story, I didn’t have Kaito emerging until the very end, when it would be revealed that he had been enchanted and lived as a fish for 100 years. After a few chapters, it seemed a bit creepy to me that Ai was calling him “Grandfather Koi,” and then was going to fall in love with him at the end. How could she fall in love with him, if she hadn’t really known him as a person? I wobbled back and forth, and thought perhaps that she wouldn’t fall in love with him at all. I threw around the idea of her falling for Kurasawa-san instead, and perhaps he would be the one to save Grandfather Koi from the evil daimyo.
But, that’s not what I wanted to have happen either. I was really frustrated. It wasn’t until I was about halfway through the story that I realized that Ai could have met Kaito in her dreams. That way, she already knew him and loved him, so when she meets him at the end, it wouldn’t be so strange for them to fall in love. I had to go back to the first half of the story and rewrite large portions of it, but I think it helped to make the story stronger. I had a similar epiphany when Ai saw Kaito’s sword outside of her dream world, and wondered if he might be a ghost. I wanted the reader to wonder that as well, and still be guessing about who Kaito truly was until the very end.
All of these ideas really helped me to continue on with the story. About ¾ of the way through, I began to slow down again. It wasn’t that I didn’t know what I wanted to have happen in the rest of the story, but my ideas were so broad, that I spent a great deal of time trying to figure out exactly what was going to happen next. That’s when I decided to go against my “fly by the seat of my pants” writing mentality, buckle down, and create a thorough outline.
Other than my general plot outline, I don’t usually write with a very specific outline in hand. I’d recently heard a podcast by a fiction writer who writes about 10,000 words a day, and after researching her method, I came to realize it had everything to do with a very strong outline. I decided to give it a shot.
I took the next chapter, and broke it into three scenes that I wanted to have happen. I planned out each scene from beginning to end, even including important dialogue. By the time I was done with that chapter, I knew exactly what was going to happen next. I continued this outlining process through to the end of the story, and then sat back down to write.
I have to admit, it was hard for me to “waste” so much writing time, just to create an outline. My writing time is so limited, with a full-time job, two kids, and a husband to keep up with, that I have to be very deliberate with how I use it. I gave up a couple of writing days to creating the fleshed-out outline, and then finally began to write.
I was AMAZED at how much more quickly I was able to write the rest of the story. I finished the story in less than half the time I would have spent on it if I had not had an outline. This girl may just be sold on always creating a very thorough, three scene chapter outline for every story I write here on out.
And then, I was at the end of the story, just like that! I have to admit that endings are my hardest scenes to write. I’m never sure just where to end them. I wanted to go on and say what Ai and Kaito’s lives were like afterward. I wanted to let the reader know that the villagers, soldiers, and workers at the castle were so glad to be rid of Lord Nakaguchi that they insisted on making Kaito the next daimyo. With the golden scales, he and Ai were able to pay off the taxes to the emperor, as well as the remaining debt for the daimyo’s castle. And then of course, Kaito and Ai live happily ever after. I wasn’t sure if the reader needed to know all of that, or if it was enough to know who Kaito is, and that he and Ai find each other finally, in the real world. What do you think?
I’d love to hear your thoughts, if you’d like to share them. Tell me if you enjoyed the story, if you have questions, or just say ‘Hi!’ Send me an email at
[email protected]
If you enjoyed Ai of the Mountain, I would truly appreciate your review on Amazon and Goodreads!
My Amazon Author Page:
http://www.
amazon.com/author/dorian
My GoodReads Author Page:
https://www.goodreads.com/dorianwrites
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