Authors: Alice Severin
I looked at him in time to see his fingers go into his mouth, up to the hilt and his eyes flutter shut. Jesus. And I watched him pull them out again, equally slowly, his tongue working them.
“You taste divine. So wet for me.”
He removed his fingers again from his mouth, and placed me slowly, gently on the seat. I watched in amazement as he fit his large hand over the sizeable bulge now very obvious through the stretched leather and pressed down, hard, a groan escaping from his mouth. “Fuck I want you so badly. It hurts.” And he pressed again. “Oh god, I want to come in you right now. It’s all I can do not to fucking have you right here. I said I’d wait…” He pressed again and groaned.
He turned to me as the car stopped. “I am going to fuck you like no one ever has. You beautiful girl. I’m going to ruin you for anyone else.”
• • •
He pulled my dress down.
“Thank god, we’re here.” He took my hand, and pressed it over his cock. It was huge and hot and stunning. I squeezed it. Holy fuck.
“That’s what you do to me. And you will feel it.”
He flew to the car door, opening it, and practically pulled me out of the car.
He bent over to the window, “Thanks Harry.” And turned and slapped me hard on the ass, in full view of the driver. Another act of possession.
“Let’s do this.” And he laughed.
And for a moment, I was a little scared. But the wetness sliding between the tops of my bare thighs was telling another story.
He pressed the code for the building. Those fingers. And he turned to me. “Ready?”
I followed him into the building, shakily. I didn’t want to hold on to him, even if I didn’t feel like I was still in the world. Everything was gliding by. It was just a lobby of an apartment building, but it was as though I was going through some tunnel, Alice through the Looking Glass, about to fall straight through. He was walking ahead of me, holding open another door that he had pressed a button to access. I couldn’t tell if he was intent on his destination, or if I had slowed down. Suddenly my head hurt and I couldn’t think anymore. I was tempted to run back out to the street. But I wasn’t going to let my stupid errant thoughts ruin any of this, and I kept my eyes up slightly, focused on his leather clad shoulders. I let my glance drop down his body, oh my there was a lot of him. What the hell was I going to do with all that? He was so tall, exuding masculinity, yet there was something about him, sensual, strange, other worldly. I was admiring his haunches, the way they sloped down to impossibly long legs, the view of him from behind just screamed sex. No wonder the boys loved him too. Not many people look truly fuckable from both directions.
We were waiting for the elevator. I was still just behind him. He still hadn’t turned around. I wasn’t going to paw at him though. I kind of liked the distance. It gave me a chance to feel I did have a choice. I wondered what he was going to do to break it down. It was pretty obvious to me by now that he liked being in control. And that was ok. Usually I always had to keep it all organized and going. There was something thrilling about his silent darkness, his ego needing this and actually admitting it.
Now what was I going to have to admit to? The door opened with a noise that startled me. He put his hand out behind him, and I took it, and went with him into the lift. He squeezed my hand, then dropped it to fish out a set of keys, one of which he used to turn the lock to the seventh floor. The elevator door closed.
Funny how some things impress me. “The whole floor, huh?”
“Yup.”
His silence was unnerving. We stood there, the elevator making its little whooshing and clicking noises as it passed each floor. My ears were echoing with the quiet. I felt like I could hear my blood flowing.
The mechanical door slid open and he used another two keys to open the door to the apartment, which was a forbidding wall trapping us in the box of the elevator. It sprang open, and he held it open for me.
“After you.”
I stepped out into a raised foyer, looking down on a long living room that ended with three large windows, facing the skyline. It was simple, slightly old-fashioned, elegant. Wood floors covered with rugs. A mix of modern furniture and some antique looking pieces. Wood and plastic. Paintings. Interesting.
I looked over at him, to see him smiling. I instantly relaxed. He didn’t look nearly as forbidding from the front, not like that.
“You like?”
“Yes.” I could be quiet too.
“Ah, you’re nervous. Amazing. I really didn’t think girls like you existed anymore.”
I couldn’t resist. “Maybe it’s the circles you move in.”
“My circles brought you here. Don’t knock them.” He hopped nimbly down the three steps to the main living room. “Come on.” He walked to the end of the room and went through another door to the left. There was a large kitchen with a wooden table, another vase of flowers in the middle, and some books scattered by the end, along with an old mug of coffee.
“I’m a slob,” he grinned. “Sorry.” He walked over to the fridge, a repeat of the one in the office. “Do you want a drink?”
“I think just some water, please. I had quite a bit to drink at the, at your show.” I felt shy. What was going on with me?
“Yes you did. And tripping off to the ladies like that. At least you’ll be awake, huh?”
I looked at him astonished. “You were watching?”
“Always curious to see people when they think no one’s looking.”
I nodded. Fair enough. “True.”
He took out a bottle of Perrier and poured a glass for each of us.
“Come on darling, let’s go sit somewhere more romantic than the kitchen. Although it could have its uses.” He laughed to himself and I followed him again, as he went through another door, again to the left, and down a short hall leading to yet another door. I felt like I was trying to keep track of where I was, in case I had to run. It was crazy, I wanted to be here, but I was scared. I almost wished we were back in the limo.
He opened the door and of course, it was his bedroom. Ridiculously large bed, or maybe it just seemed that way. Shades of coffee, mocha, copper, amber. Rugs on hardwood floors. Pillows covered in raw silk. Another three windows, with curtains between them. Bookshelves at the end, another raised area, with a sofa, a guitar casually resting against the cushions. Lamps, tables, an ornate quality. I couldn’t decide if the bed was the stage and the sofa the audience. I wondered if it had ever been used that way.
Again, I looked over to find him watching me, a predatory look on his face, a tiny smile pulling up the corner of his mouth. I let out a breath I didn’t realize I was holding, and his smile increased. It wasn’t exactly friendly though.
God, I was so confused. I looked at him, willing him to understand some of what I was going through. I wanted him to make it better, whatever better was. I didn’t want to feel this fear and awkwardness. I just wanted to feel good.
“You know, coke makes most people a bit paranoid.”
I’m sure the shock showed on my face. “Yes, but…”
“You’re scared.”
I took a drink of my water. We were standing by the bed. It all seemed so…impossible. “I am, a little. I don’t know why. I’m sorry.”
“It’s ok. Really. You just need a minute to get your bearings. You don’t strike me as someone who walks away from a challenge.”
“Are you a challenge?” I raised my eyes to his. I wanted to see what they showed of how he felt. Where were his emotions? Did he have any?
He looked at me, and sighed. “Of course I am. I’m never only me, I’m everything you’ve ever read, everything you’ve heard, all the rumors.” He walked towards the windows and looked out. “I think I used to enjoy that part of it more than I do now.” He drank some water. “I’m actually not happy that you’re scared of me.”
“I’m not. I don’t know. I think I’m scared of myself.” I looked at him. What was I doing? I could not fuck this up.
I walked over to him. I was going to be stupid and honest, but all the show of strength had worn me out. He held out his hand, and took mine and smiled. His smile melted a bit of the crazy fear that had come over me. This was right. To trust what I felt. Not what I’d been told.
“I really do like you,” he whispered. “When I saw you out there…” he trailed off. “I was happy. But then you know, it was like I was worried.” He stopped again and shook his head.
“Worried?”
“Yeah.” He let out a huge sigh, and kind of blew through his teeth. “Yeah. You don’t know what it’s like, well maybe you do. The usual deal.” He put his hands on my shoulders, and left them there, heavy, as he looked down at me. He seemed even taller, with the black twinkling backdrop behind him. I felt like I was in a photograph, pinned down for all eternity. “I can’t explain it. I saw you out there, I still wanted you, but…”
My heart had stopped. “But?” I had blown it. I wasn’t going to cry though.
“I wanted to frighten you. See what you’d do. Whether it mattered to you. Or if you’d just ignore my coldness.”
“I tried to ignore it. I figured that’s what I was supposed to do.” I was starting to babble. It was all ruined anyway. “Alice, that’s my roommate, she plays this whole scene. I haven’t, I just don’t…” I stopped. What the hell was I about to say?
He was looking at me, intently. I felt his presence like a furnace next to me. God this want. If I just let my brain loose, maybe it would know what to say.
“I get scared of what I want. It gets too intense. I don’t do pretend very well, I usually go for what seems the safe option, but that hasn’t worked very well for me, because it’s never right, and I dream of what is, and I never see it, and then, well, that song you played for me, and everything it said, and the way you held me, and shit, you’re beautiful anyway, and I’m totally out of my depth here. Fuck, I’m sorry. I’m sure you’d rather have somebody with…oh fuck I don’t know.” He was looking at me, with that same sort of gaze he had when he was watching me cry. I tried to return his steady look. “I’m sorry. I’m way too honest, and I’m not even telling the whole truth. I can play the game, better than this anyhow, it’s just…” Then his finger was resting on my lips, and he looked amused again.
“No, it’s all good. That’s why I like you. I’ve got to apologize to you. We got here, and I thought to myself, she’s a journalist, she’s just playing you and you’re about to take her to your house.” He shrugged. “I could have just fucked you into tomorrow, and sent you off, and switched off.” He walked away from the windows, and sat down heavily on the bed, his leather pants creaking with the motion. “Fear’s a common thing, little girl.”
Jesus. There went the rest of my heart. God, had I been that shut down? I closed my eyes. Ow. What to do, what to do.
I put down my glass on the window sill, and flew at the bed and jumped on him before I could stop myself. And there I was, having knocked over the glorious, messy haired god, and I was now straddling his lap and looking down at him, as he gazed up at me, stunned.
I was about to start apologizing, when he started giggling. Laughing, like I’d seen on the videos from so long ago, not just cut off, but actually laughing. It made me giddy, like a teenager with the giggles, and he pulled me to him, until we were both hysterical with nervous laughter.
We lay there, his arms around me, my face resting on his chest, and slowly stopped laughing. I didn’t know what to say anymore. I just wanted to stay there forever, warm, feeling that strange happiness that was bursting out of the desire. He was stroking my hair, smoothly, gently, his large hands reassuring and warm. I felt sleepy and contented, yet the desire for him was still there like a beacon. It was so hard to just accept this warmth, these feelings of…tenderness. He was incredibly tender. Paradox, the man a walking contradiction. But he smelled so fantastic. And this leather was so soft, I could touch his arm, his skin was soft too…
• • •
I woke up, and it was chilly, and I wasn’t sure where I was. I looked around, and I heard water running in the bathroom. Great. I fell asleep on a rock star. Useless. I lay there and spread my arms out over the bed. Well, I was still here. That was something. And I breathed in the scent from the duvet cover and the comforter, and it was all him, yet soft and warm, like he was, after all.
The bathroom door handle turned, and he came out, wrapped in a silk kimono robe. I could hear water running. My god, he was stunning. Pure sex. He couldn’t even help it. He was walking towards me; I noticed and shook myself out of my reverie.
“Good you’re awake.”
“I’m really sorry. Great date, huh?”
“Hey, you’re tired. It’s not a crime. I dozed off myself.”
He looked at me, like he was deciding something. Here it comes. I sat up, ready to be escorted out.
“Would you stay? Would you like a bath? With me, that is?” And he smiled, that wicked schoolboy smile, and I felt all the blood rush to my face. Then descend.
I took a deep breath. “I’d love to.”
He held out his hand. “Come then. Leave your shoes.”
And in stockinged feet, I walked up the little stairs hand in hand with him towards the running bath.
Of course the bathroom was tasteful as well. The floor had old fashioned NYC apartment tile, small squares of black and white, and the bath was black and huge. There were Jacuzzi jets, and he had already put in some foaming bath soap. It smelled divine, and there were two huge towels hanging on a warming towel rack. I guess he’d already thought this through a bit. It wasn’t just a spur of the moment decision.
“You always observe your surroundings quite intently,” he said.
“I suppose I do.”
He tilted his head slightly, and scratched his cheek absent-mindedly. “And what conclusions have you reached?”
“About you? Hmm, secret sybarite. Paradoxically tender. Traditional. Elegantly wild.”
“Elegantly wild, interesting. And do you think you trust me?” He bent over to turn off the water, and looked over his shoulder at me, a strange sort of expression on his face. Daring me, almost. I just looked at him. He stood up and came over to me, and tipped my face up towards his. “Tell me what you think.”