Hill of Grace
HILL OF GRACE
Stephen Orr works as a high school teacher in Adelaide's northern suburbs. His first novel,
Attempts to Draw Jesus
, was the runner-up in the 2000 Vogel/
Australian
award. Stephen conducts writing workshops with school groups and was the judge of the 2003
Advertiser
Young Writers' Award.
HILL OF GRACE
Stephen Orr
Wakefield Press
1 The Parade West
Kent Town
South Australia 5067
www.wakefieldpress.com.au
First published 2004
This edition published 2011
Copyright © Stephen Orr, 2004
All rights reserved. This book is copyright. Apart from any fair dealing for the purposes of private study, research, criticism or review, as permitted under the Copyright Act, no part may be reproduced without written permission.
Enquiries should be addressed to the publisher.
Cover designed by Liz Nicholson, designBITE
National Library of Australia Cataloguing-in-publication entry
Orr, Stephen, 1967â .
Hill of Grace.
978 1 86254 987 6 (epub).
I. Title.
A823.4
My father believed that grace was like cinnamon sprinkled onto a freshly
baked teacake. It was like icing sugar, or dandruff, settling on people's
hands and faces. It was the love of God. As he always reminded us,
grace was the potential for belief, for salvation (or so Luther had said).
This is why William Miller ended up so angry. He could never
understand why others couldn't see such a simple thing.
William Miller saw the world in black and white, when it was really
a landscape full of yellow calendulas and a deep blue sky.
NM
Contents
William Miller believed in the end of the world.
To him it was as real as the odour in Christ's sandals, or all the business of water into wine. It was as real as the saucepan constellation, or the taste of his wife Bluma's rhubarb crumble. It was as certain as a finely balanced algebraic equation or the week, or day, the autumn leaves turned on his vines.
William Miller had gone beyond wondering, guessing or suspecting. His study of the Bible had revealed clues and facts missed by others. They spoke of a time when Christ would return and walk confidently down Adelaide's seediest streets â through workplaces and pubs, backyards and grocery stores â gathering the faithful.
From the day William Miller began to believe, he knew it was all just a matter of waiting: singing hymns and worshipping, playing kegel and perfecting his merlot-shiraz blend. Giving and receiving love, these were important too. Bluma and Nathan, his son, were angels with frantically flapping wings, holding him under the shoulders, lifting him.
But none of this was as important as God, and his son, who
it
was written
, was due to return any time.
William stood in front of his oldest shiraz vines, rolling a grape between his fingers. With only a slight pressure the skin split and grape-juice ran down his hand. Tasting it with his tongue he smiled and whispered, âA few more weeks,' recognising the unmistakable iron of his soil and purity of his ground water.
He squinted and off, down Langmeil Road, saw a boy climbing a date palm like a monkey. The boy slipped and he held his breath. Beyond, in the near distance, he could see some fires on the Kaiserstuhl, the highest of the hills which enclosed the Barossa Valley, keeping them safe from the suburbs of Adelaide which had started creeping north like rampant lantana.
Throwing the grape into a carpet of yellow harlequin he turned and made his way towards the house. Stopping in front of Bluma's vegie patch he picked a dozen moths off the cabbages and pocketed a cucumber to eat after tea. âNo pesticides, ever,' he'd bragged to Bruno Hermann, one of his neighbours with a fetish for the perfect blutwurst. âImpossible,' Bruno had replied, although William knew better.
If William were mostly right, it was because Bluma allowed him to be. Every few months she'd dust the cabbages and hide the container in the back of her cold cellar. She would mix curry, which he claimed he couldn't stand and wouldn't touch, into stews he'd describe longingly to strangers waiting to be served at Linke's butcher.
William detested luxuries, but Bluma lived a secret life of sorts, surviving on distractions put before them by the very devil himself. Sitting beside a neighbour's wireless, she'd close her eyes and slip into another world as Nat King Cole described love. Romantic love, that is, not the practical, toe-nails and all love she knew. Beyond Tanunda things were different, it seemed: men wore clothes with at least a faint whiff of style, bought books of poetry (which they read to their wives) and ate meat they hadn't slaughtered themselves.
Unlike Tanunda men.
Like her husband, William Miller, talking to himself in Barossa Deutsch, scraping a cow pat from the tread of his boots with a stick that kept snapping. William Miller, with his neatly trimmed chin whiskers and his electricity-free existence. Electricity meant bills and bills meant servitude and, worse, people reading your meter, keeping your details in a filing cabinet and counting you amongst the throng. Like the army of ants which covered every inch of his old myrtle, scurrying to and fro with no apparent purpose, driving to keep moving and working until the End arrived. The End: an apocalypse of atomic flashes and sulphur dioxide â a moment which William simulated with his shit-tipped stick, bashing the trunk until there was a complete frenzy. Ants minus the message of Revelations and Daniel.
This, he guessed, is what the End would be like â people loading their possessions into carts and car boots, driving away from the sun as it engulfed the sky, while he and Bluma knelt in a soft sea of gazania and prayed. The secrets of the seven scrolls revealed at last, as dressmakers and bakers screamed in the distance and Friesian cattle moaned inconsolably as their bodies burned.
Imagining all this was a daily joy for William, who sat in the swing he'd hung for Nathan (years ago, when he was a small boy) and listened as the bough of his myrtle creaked beneath his weight. He started to swing in ever-increasing arcs, smiling, pushing back his head and watching the world fly by in a blur of clouds and tree tops, birds (half sound, half movement) and the smoke of the Kaiserstuhl fires. This, to him, was the End. A blur of everything real becoming unreal, as body was transformed into spirit and the world into a new heaven of familiar things: an eternity of sauerkraut, God's reward for those who'd stayed faithful.
The list included all of the Millers, from Anthelm, his grandfather, who migrated from Posen in 1844, to his father Robert, who helped Anthelm build the family farm. Through to Nathan, William's own son, who would continue it on. Although there would be an End it was important the land was taken care of and farmed properly, the alternative being a heaven of weeds and Anglican idleness. The ironstone farm house William stood before was Anthelm's legacy to him, as were the vines. The weight on his shoulders was the weight of knowing, of needing to know more, and to convince others.
William walked past Bluma's herbs, touching the cross on his back door and entering. Bluma was still busy in her Schwarze Kuche, a medieval black kitchen in the form of a hearth of flagstones which she stood on to cook, feeding the smells and heat of sausage and corned beef into a giant chimney-cum-smokehouse. âReady?' she asked, washing the last of the pots in a sink as deep as it was wide.
âNot yet,' William replied, sitting down at the dining-table next to Nathan and casting an eye across his books.
âThe Rasch's have started picking,' she continued, but William pointed out they were still on whites. âWhen Henschke starts I'll start,' he said, spreading his fingers like a web above Nathan's algebra.
âHow long?' she harped.
âTwo, three weeks.'
But she knew she'd have him out long before that, considering he didn't have the bother of chardonnay or semillon, large production runs or interstate markets.
âThe search for
x
,' William smiled, studying Nathan's book up closely. âIf
x
is addition, it has to jump to subtract.'
âI know,' Nathan replied.
âHere for instance, two step, which of the numbers is linked more closely to
x
?'
âWilliam!' Bluma moaned, wiping hair from her eyes with her forearm. âIt's not the maths we studied.'
âIt is.'
William knew Nathan understood, but he had the hankering to explain it anyway, in his words, words more fluid and understandable than any maths teacher. Words which could make sense of Baume (to everyone except Bluma), the Cartesian plane and Corinthians. Words wrapped in a gentle poetry which made the complex simple, the unfathomable obvious. And in algebra, just as in Revelations, the clues were there for those who looked: 2
x
+ 5 equals 25. So, obviously,
x
equals ten, but what about more complex problems? Explained just as simply through observation â rules and patterns. What was hinted at in Matthew was repeated in Mark; what was suggested in John was explained in Daniel.
A thorough study of the whole was necessary for an understanding of the parts.
William took the cucumber from his pocket and bit into it. Nathan kept scribbling as Bluma drained the sink. An example of her white-work hung below a half-cured ham:
Kinder, Kuche
und Kirche
â which might have been enough for the old Lutherans, but didn't begin to explain her. The white thread on white cloth had grown grey and fat-stained over the years, filled with the steam and smoke of a thousand lamb shanks.
William opened his family Bible and flicked pages through his fingers. He smelt the mustiness of old paper and, as he did every time, admired the clumsy copperplate of his grand-dad inside the front cover:
I come to Klemzig in 1844 (24). I move to Tanunda
in 1849 (29). I marry Marg. in 1868. Robert come from Lord in ad 1870.
The saga continuing in William's father's hand, explaining how he'd married William's mother Brigid in 1898, delivering up the child Wilhelm Muller in 1901.
W. Muller, come from the gracious
arms of the Lord Jesus . . .
And William wondering again, as he did every time, if it wasn't time to change his name back and whether Anthelm and Robert would have been ashamed of what he'd done, considering they'd retained their names during the First World War.