Above the Noise (22 page)

My eyes glided over each verse of his newest song. One I knew nothing about. The way he paired the words and phrases infused so much life into the emotion those words held. I could feel the longing in his heart, the uncertainty within his soul and the fire of a love just beginning when I read his words.

I remembered, not too long ago, telling him that maybe one day he’d write a song about me. There was no doubt in my mind that the words I was reading were written for me. With the words scrawled across the paper I held in my hands, Calon had sculpted an emotion far more intense than I could have described. But it was an emotion I
felt
. He loved me. He really, really loved me. And I, finally, trusted someone with my heart.

Tears.

I heard the hotel door open, and my beautiful man peeked around the corner, as though he was worried he would wake me. When I looked up at him, tears fell from my eyes and rolled down my cheeks. I saw his eyes go to the tablet in my lap. He smiled and walked over to my bedside. He sat on the edge of the bed, took the tablet from me, and held my hands in my lap.

“Becki Jane—
you
do
that
to me. You.”

“Wow.”

I leaned into his shoulder. He kissed the top of my head and rocked me until I fell back to sleep.

THE BUZZ THAT
was specific to Calon rang in my head and jolted me from a peaceful dream.

Calon:
Becks turn on 103 at 3:45

Me:
I love you

Calon:
And I love you. Absolute.

Me:
Turning it on now

Calon:
Gonna be awesome!

I turned on the clock radio next to the bed and turned the dial until B103 came in clear as a bell. I tore off Calon’s “Vice” lyrics and laid them carefully on the side table, as though they were a precious artifact. To me, they were. I then used the tablet to start a list. I jotted down everything that came to mind.

THE SURPRISE TOUR

CALL BUZZ—OCTOBER SHOW DATE?

LOOK FOR CHARITY EVENTS TO PLAY

CONFIRM DATES FOR UPCOMING GIGS

DEPOSIT CASH FROM MOONDANCE

… and the list continued to spill out of my brain.

At quarter to four on the dot, the B103 DJ spoke loud and clear and pulled my attention from my work.

“Welcome to the afternoon Rock Block. I’m Jesse Severson, and I’m thrilled to come to you live with my new friends Calon, Spider, Manny, and Bones—the talented members of the newest talent on the rock ‘n’ roll horizon. Please, welcome Alternate Tragedy! Thanks for comin’ in, guys. It’s great to have you here.”

“Thanks for having us, Jesse.” Calon’s voice was even hotter over the radio.
Sheesh.
I squeezed my thighs together.

“So, how many gigs have you guys played since you’ve been in LA?”

“I’ve lost count, but we’ve done a lot. Big and small shows. We’re having a blast in this town.”

“Great. Great. You all hail from Knoxville, Tennessee.”

“We do. Go Vols!” Bones. What a dork. I wasn’t sure he’d ever even been to a UTK sporting event. He’d been at all the tailgates, but I was pretty certain he’d never actually stepped foot in our stadium.

“I’ve spoken to numerous people in the industry and no one can seem to explain your rise to the top. Spider, you guys aren’t even signed, right?” Jesse’s excitement about the interview was evident in his voice. It was a cool thing to hear.

“No, we’re not.” Spider chuckled. “And, believe me, we’re just as stunned. We’d never complain about the attention we’re getting, but it’s just as much of a mystery to us as it is to everyone else.”

“So, then what’s with the little mishap Wednesday night at The Moondance? You’ve got some pretty pissed off fans. What happened?”

My phone rang, and it was one of the bar owners I’d called a couple days before. I had to answer it, but I was so mad I would miss Calon’s explanation.

But once I heard what the call was about, I was too stoked to care. I knew I’d get the play by play from the guys anyway.

I had to text Calon. I knew he wouldn’t get the text until later, but I would’ve exploded if I’d kept it in.

Me:
You guys are playing The Jungle Room Thurs, Fri, & Sat next week

I turned the volume up a little to be sure to at least catch the end of what he said about the Moondance gig.

“I tell you, Jesse. The pieces of The Moondance puzzle just don’t seem to fit. Something strange and unexplainable happened. From the stage losing power to an unauthorized announcement and a stolen VIP pass, it just doesn’t add up. But you can be sure we will be double checking all of our equipment before we go on stage from now on. And to make it up to our fans that felt dissed Wednesday night, we will be at The Jungle Room Thursday, Friday, and Saturday next week—thanks to our amazing manager, Becki Mowry.”

I could hear the smile on his face when he said my name. I giggled like a little girl.

I really did heart Calon Ridge. He hearted me right back.

*sigh*

BECKI ASSURED ME
she was fine, but for the last couple weeks she seemed distant, not exhausted. Her sudden illness, if you could call it that, only slowed her down for a couple days, since then she’d been going a hundred miles an hour. She’d lined up at least two gigs but usually four or more a week until Christmas. She’d argue that she could handle stress well; however, her job as manager took a toll on her. I knew she wasn’t back to her old self, and I assumed she was still feeling rotten, just hiding it well. I remembered she’d once mentioned that she’d been sick as a little kid and had to have chemo. I couldn’t help letting my mind wonder about her health. I knew what I had to do. She’d be so pissed at me, but I needed to put her first and not worry how mad she would be.

“Calon, hey, it’s Cyan. I wanted to let you know, I found the perfect manager for you. She’s got experience. Interned with the manager of The Killers for a while until they started doing more in-house planning. A real go-getter kind of style. I did background checks, called references, and it all looks good. I said you’d be in touch, so if you’d like to run your own interview, just call Danny directly.” She spouted a number for me to call and then ended her message, “Okay. Call me if you need anything else. See ya.”

Me:
Our hotel room around dinner would be perfect to meet w Danny

Cyan:
Done.

“Who was that?” Becki’s head rested on my shoulder as we rode back from rehearsal to the hotel in preparation for a new week of gigs. I knew if I told her we were trying to get her some help to lighten her load, it would get her all fired up. So, telling her in the van with the guys was probably not the perfect plan, but if I tried to blow off her question, she’d lose it. She’d been more than a little moody lately, so I opted for the better of my two shitty options.

“Becks, now, don’t get mad.” She sat straight up and pursed her lips.

“Aw, shit.” Bones attempted to keep his reaction under his breath, but he sucked at being subtle.

“What? Who was it? And why do you look so nervous to tell me.” She smacked me hard on my thigh and made me jump. I grabbed her hand, so she didn’t go any higher than my thigh.

“Becks, listen. Over the last two months, your responsibilities as manager have grown exponentially compared to what you were doing when we first came out here. And it’s wearing you down. I’ve never seen you so out of it. Over the summer, you were the one keeping
me
up during our all-nighters. You used to do fine with little to no sleep.”

“You’re firing me? Are you fucking—”

“No! No! No way! We love what you do. You’re damn good at it. We just feel like it’s not fair for us to expect you to carry the load for us.”

“Would you just spit it out already? What am I not supposed to not get mad about?”

“That was a voicemail from Cyan. I called her a couple days ago to see if she’d help find us an assistant for you, so you could cut your responsibilities back a little without losing your creative control.” I spoke with barely a breath. I wanted to get it all out before she blew a gasket. “You’re kick ass at being our manager, but you could share some of what you do with someone else, so you’d be able to pick and choose what you wanted to handle and push the rest onto your assistant. You see?”

“Calon, I’m fine.” I was shocked at how calm she stayed. I really expected a fight. “Whatever made me sick a couple weeks ago just hit me hard. I’m tired, but I’m just starting to get back my vim and vigor. You shouldn’t have to pay someone else. I should be able to handle it.”

“I have no doubt you
could
do it. I just don’t want you to
have
to. I want you to love what you do and lately, you’re not enjoying it.”

“So, who is this person you’d be hiring?” I was glad she was so open to the idea. It made me think she may not have been comfortable asking for help.

“Cyan found a guy named Danny. He used to intern with The Killers. He comes with great references, and hiring him seems like a no brainer. We’re going to meet with him tonight, so you can have a say in who you’ll be working so closely with. I want it to be a good match for you.”

“Wow. You’ve got it all figured out, don’t you? And you got me a guy. Nice.” She smiled at me, and I grabbed her face and kissed her. She took hold of my nipple right through my shirt and twisted.

“Listen, Ridge, how about next time you talk to me directly, instead of pussy-footing around the subject and making plans without me. Okay?”

“Okay, I’m sorry, Becki. Can I have this back, please?” I pushed her hand off my nipple and rubbed the pain away. No doubt, that was gonna leave a mark.

“Thanks, guys, I appreciate the help. A lot. I really do. But, if you three let him go behind my back again, I’ll kill ya all. Got it?”

Shit. The guys were silent.

“Becki, there’s one more thing.”

“Oh, shit.” Bones shook his head. “Quit while you’re ahead, dude. Quit while you’re ahead.”

“Calon James, you were scot-free. You could have come out of this unscathed. What the hell?”

“I made a doctor’s appointment for this afternoon.”

“Nope. I don’t do doctors. Cancel it.”

“Becki—”

“I don’t need you to decide when I see a doctor. I’m fine, just stressed, that’s all. I know my body pretty well, Calon. I know what it needs. I’m not going into my whole health history with some stranger just because my resistance is down. Cancel it.”

“Becks—”

“Cancel it!” She yelled so loud, Spider hit the curb on the way into the parking garage under our hotel.

“No, I won’t.” I tried to take her hands again, but she pulled away from me.

“Then you can go because I’m not.” She started to get up to get out of the van, and I pulled her back down. “Calon!” She shot a look at me I’d not yet been the recipient of. It shook me a little.

“Uh. We’ll see you guys upstairs, okay?” Manny tried to smile, but it came out as an awkward grimace.