Authors: Susan Willis
His
crinkly eyes saddened at her cutting words. ‘Yes, love, I do know how old you are, but it doesn’t mean that I’ll stop worrying and caring about you.’
‘Oh
yeah,’ she lashed out. ‘So where were you when Rob was cheating on me for eighteen years and trying to hit on my sister the day Rachel was born? If ever there was a man to waste my life on it was him! But because he put a wedding ring on my finger that made it all right – did it?’
Her
whole body was trembling and she could feel tears pricking at her eyes. Charles slowly shook his head and put his hand on her arm but she shrugged it away – she needed to get outside and away from them all.
‘Rachel…’
she called storming to the doorway. ‘We’ll have to go now.’
*
She lay in bed watching every hour of the clock tick past. Every time she felt her eyes droop sleepily they’d snap wide open with the horrible words she’d screamed at her father and the equally horrible words Rachel had shouted at her. And this, she thought sadly, was all because she wanted to be with the man she loved.
Dragging
herself through work the next day wasn’t easy and when Richard looked at her, his eyes full of concern; she told him flatly that they needed to talk. They arranged to meet at her house after work and she left earlier than usual feigning a migraine.
The
sun had shone all day and July was turning into a lovely month of true English summer. Arriving home at three o’clock she stood under a hot shower and then decided to put her blue spotty bikini on and lie out in the garden to catch up on her sleep before the upset which would undoubtedly follow later.
*
Shortly after six o’clock Richard jumped into his car and drove quickly over to Queens Drive. His stomach as he thought of Helen’s tired and miserable face at work and he wondered if Karen had more bad news, or maybe it was something to do with the sale of the house.
He
carried a huge bouquet of red roses, and using his key he let himself into the house leaving the flowers on the hall table. He spotted her through the kitchen window lying asleep on the lounger. He poured them long glasses of coke from the fridge then walked out into the garden.
He
flopped down on the grass and flicked a few drops of coke onto her tummy. She jumped awake, opening her eyes. ‘Hey, gorgeous,’ he said. ‘I’m loving the spotty bikini...’
She
looked up at him and took the glass, greedily swallowing the cool drink. Her throat felt dry with anxiety knowing what she had to say. She started at the beginning of the weekend and told him everything. A long silence settled after she’d finished speaking, with the only sound being a bird tweeting somewhere in the trees.
She
looked into his anxious eyes staring at her. ‘Richard, as heart-breaking as this is for me, I cannot go on seeing you…’
He
jumped up from the grass and looked down at her in horror. This was worse, so much worse than he could ever have imagined – his heart raced and sweat began to run down his back. He was struggling to catch his breath and opened the top buttons of his shirt. ‘But you can’t!’ he cried. ‘You can’t stop seeing me.’
She
could feel tears welling and she swallowed hard thinking of her family. This was something she had to do, she thought steeling herself. Her bottom lip wobbled. ‘I-I don’t have a choice, Richard. I can’t live with my family hating me like this.’
It
was obvious she was torn in two and he hated to see the tormented look on her face. If ever he’d questioned her love for him he could see now it had been groundless. But the thought of never seeing her again made him feel physically sick and he swallowed down the bile gathering in the back of his throat. He croaked, ‘Helen, please, I can’t live my life without you.’
His
face was grey and his eyes were wet and red – she felt wretched hurting him like this. Please God, give me strength to do this, she thought as two tears escaped and ran down her cheek. She sobbed, ‘I feel the same but …’
‘Look,’
– he knelt in front of her and took her hands in his – ‘I’ve been making plans over the last month or so. And at home I’ve been keeping everything quietly ticking over till I can sort out the money issues.’
She
looked at him and raised an eyebrow. ‘Money?’ she asked. ‘What’s that got to do with this?’
‘I
don’t want to come to you till I can financially afford to pay my way. I’d like the apartment you’re buying to be our place – not just yours,’ he said earnestly. ‘But I didn’t want to suggest moving in until I have half of the money to give you.’
She
gasped and stared at him. ‘You want to leave Angela and live with me?’
‘Yes,
of course I do. I’m not messing about here – I want to be with you for the rest of my life. And I’m praying that you feel the same.’
The whole of her body lifted in spirit and she felt like running around the garden in a victory lap. Her mind soared happily with the thought of sharing her life with this genuine and gorgeous man. She shook her head slowly coming to terms with the commitment he’d made to her. If only her family could see what a special man he was, she thought, and what he intended to give up for her. ‘Oh, Richard, I love you so much,’ she oozed. ‘And of course I do. But what about Angela and the kids?’
‘I’ll
tell her at the weekend,’ he said gravely. ‘I know she’ll bleed me dry of every penny I have, but my mum is already one step ahead and has offered to loan me money till everything is sorted out.’
She
flung her arms around his neck and buried her wet face in his shoulder. ‘You don’t need money to come to me,’ she said. ‘The commitment is enough to satisfy all their wagging tongues. But all I want is you.’
‘No, I couldn’t move in without making some contribution,’ he said, hugging her so tightly she thought her ribs would snap. ‘And then I’d like to go and talk to your father and Karen. I can’t stand the idea that they think I’m just a typical married man taking advantage of you.’
She
pulled her face away from him and he wiped her tears with the sleeve of his shirt. ‘No more,’ he soothed. ‘I can’t bear to see you upset.’
The
relief that flooded through her, now that she knew their relationship was on a sure footing, made her feel quite giddy and light-hearted. She grinned at him. ‘Are you hungry?’
He
slipped a finger into the strap of her bikini top. ‘You’re not kidding. I could eat a horse after all that upset, but I think I might eat you first.’
The
sun had disappeared and the sky was full of cloud. He glanced around at the tall hedges. ‘Cool garden. It’s quite secluded – not overlooked at all.’
She
read his mind and scrambled to her feet. ‘Oh no, Richard, not here,’ she said, and ran towards the patio door as he laughed and whooped, then ran after her.
She
made it into the hall before he caught up with her, and stopped abruptly, looking at the roses on the table. He picked them up and gave them to her. ‘For you, my love. I bought them to cheer you up when you looked so miserable at work, although I didn’t know what was making you sad then,’ he said, and shivered involuntarily. ‘And to think how close I came to losing you…’
They
locked eyes and stared into each other’s souls – this invisible force of attraction, she thought, was still as powerful as the first night in his flat. She laid the roses aside on the bottom stair and began to walk up the first few stairs in front of him.
He
pulled her bikini away from her bottom. ‘I’m just checking to see if you have any white bits,’ he drawled seductively, and then pushed his hand forward into her crotch.
Dropping
to her knees she opened her legs and moaned with his touch while he dragged his trousers and shorts down around his ankles then cradled himself onto her back pushing deep into her. She arched her back, cried out in ecstasy and grabbed hold of the stair spindle to support herself as with every thrust her took her further and further into the deepest climax she could ever remember.
Chapter Fourteen
Although she’d agreed with Richard not to say anything to Tom about his indiscretion she did have a quiet word with Annette. Apparently, it had been Sally from the finance department who had seen her and Richard out for dinner and had gossiped about it to everyone on site.
‘But
that doesn’t excuse Tom’s drunken behaviour,’ Annette said, shaking her head and tutting.
Helen
nodded in agreement. ‘I know. But I can’t think it would have been done maliciously – he doesn’t have that in his nature.’ She looked at her sheepishly. ‘I suppose you’re going to give me a lecture about getting involved with a married man too?’
‘No,
honey, I know you too well,’ Annette said. ‘You won’t have gone into this without a great deal of forethought, and although he is a lovely guy, be careful. You’ve been through so much I’d hate to see you get badly hurt…’
She
smiled her thanks and was grateful that Tom was on holiday this week and she wouldn’t have another confrontation to deal with.
*
Helen worked solidly all week and spent every night with Richard knowing that he was dreading the weekend at home. She wanted to be there for him and had repeatedly offered her support. But he doggedly refused any help. When he called to see her on Friday afternoon she pulled him by the arm into the kitchen where they would be out of sight.
‘I
wish there was something I could do to help,’ she said putting her arms around his neck and hugging him tightly.
He
kissed the side of her neck. ‘Just being here when I get back will be enough to keep me going. And I’ll try to text or ring you. I’m even thinking of driving back down Sunday night with my bags.’
She
nodded. ‘OK. Just ring me on the way down and I’ll come to the flat.’
‘There’s
something else I should tell you,’ he said warily. ‘Everyone on site is gossiping about us.’
She
swallowed hard. ‘I know. Annette told me. I’m just going to hold my head up and ignore them all,’ she whispered in his ear.
‘That’s
my girl,’ he said, and after one last kiss and hug he left to drive up to Wilburton.
*
The notion Richard had that Angela would only be bothered about the cottage and money when he told her that he was leaving was dramatically overturned – he was totally shocked at her reaction.
They
were in their bedroom because Emily was downstairs watching TV. He’d asked her to come upstairs with him and she’d rolled her eyes in dismay. He could tell she thought he wanted to have sex with her and she was obviously going to refuse, which as he followed her up the rickety staircase made him want to howl at the absurdity of it all. While she sat on her stool at the dressing table he perched on the end of their bed and told her he’d fallen in love with another woman and was leaving her.
Her
eyes bulged so much that he thought they were going to pop out of the sockets. ‘Y-you bastard,’ she screamed. ‘You godforsaken bastard!’
‘Ssshh,
you’ll frighten Emily,’ he said quietly.
She
stared at him as though she still couldn’t quite grasp what he’d said and opened her mouth to say more then closed it abruptly. Her mouth slackened and she began to shake her head from side to side then covering her eyes with her fingers she began to cry loudly like a small child.
He
didn’t know what to do – he was more used to verbal abuse and shouting than this reaction. He walked slowly towards her, put a hand on her shoulder and squeezed it. He could feel her body trembling under the thin silk robe. ‘I’m sorry,’ he said sadly. ‘I’m very sorry I’ve hurt you but you must have known that this farce we call a marriage wouldn’t last.’
She
kept on crying, with huge sobs racking her tiny frame. Her hands were soaked with tears and they ran in between her fingers pouring down her cheeks but still she didn’t stop. He took a handful of tissues from the box on the dressing table and wiped her hands trying to ease them from her eyes but she held firm. His stomach churned – he’d never seen her like this before. In fact, he thought, the only time he’d seen her cry was after Christopher was born, but they were joyous tears.
Suddenly
Emily’s voice called up the stairs. ‘Mum, you’re missing the start of the film…’
The
sound of Emily’s voice seemed to drag her back to normality – she took a few deep breaths and removed her hands form her eyes. Taking the tissues from him she began to dry her face. Her blue eyes were red, puffy and swollen and her blonde curls were stuck to her forehead but she got up and went out onto the landing. ‘I’m going to give it a miss, darling,’ she called downstairs. ‘I’ve got a terrible migraine coming on.’
She
walked slowly back into the bedroom and sat next to him on the edge of the bed. Her eyes looked calculating now as though she was hatching a plan. ‘I know we’ve had our problems, Richard, but I do love you. Is this something we can talk about?’ she asked, touching his elbow.
He
flinched at her touch as though it had burnt his skin. ‘Talk?’ he asked. ‘We don’t talk. You usually speak to me like a piece of crap under your shoe and whinge till you get what you want.’
Rubbing
her forehead she stared at him. ‘Do I?’
He
tutted and clicked his tongue. It was obvious it had become so customary that she didn’t realise she was doing it any more. ‘Yes, you do. And you know you do…’
‘But
that’s just normal when you’ve been married a long time – it doesn’t mean anything,’ she said, blushing. ‘I-I mean, if I’d known it upset you…’
‘No
one likes to be bullied and spoken to in a derisory manner, Angela,’ he said. ‘It’s just common courtesy.’
He
saw her shoulders and chin lift defiantly at his rebuke. She snorted. ‘Oh, and I suppose this cheap tart you’re banging doesn’t speak to you like that?’
He
shook his head slowly. For a while he’d actually felt sorry for her, but now she was back to showing her true colours it made leaving so much easier. ‘First, Helen is not cheap, nor a tart. And second, she has the good manners to speak to people with the respect they deserve.’
‘Helen?’
she yelled. ‘So you were shagging her in Glasgow – you lying creep!’
He
sighed wearily. ‘Yes. I’ve been making love to Helen since I started work in Acton. There is, so I’ve learnt, a difference between shagging, as you so delicately call it, and making love.’
She
leaned towards him now with her cold blue eyes glaring. ‘I’ll see you both ruined professionally and financially,’ she threatened menacingly. ‘I’m warning you now – if I lose my cottage and village life because of this…’
He
collected his pyjamas from the bed. ‘I’m going to sleep in the spare bed. And I’ll talk and explain things to Emily tomorrow and then ring Christopher.’
*
The next morning consisted of intermittent sparring matches where she hurled abuse at him and he took deep breaths to hold his temper. At one stage she even admitted that although she didn’t want him in a physical sense she was damned if someone else was going to have him. She was livid that he’d humiliated her and actually had the audacity to fall in love with someone, stating that she could have coped much better if he’d just been having one-night stands. Throughout the upset he managed to close his eyes in sporadic moments, think of Helen, and know she would be waiting for him when he got to the end of the mayhem.
After
lunch Emily asked for a lift to her friend’s home.
‘Of
course,’ he said, motioning at her to sit down at the kitchen table with him. This, he decided, had to be as good a time as any to tell her, and carefully he told her what had happened and that he was leaving. ‘I know it’s hard to understand, love. But I don’t love your mum any longer and I’ve fallen in love with someone else.’
For
a few seconds her bottom lip trembled and it tore at him in a place deep inside – she looked so young and vulnerable. He squeezed his hands under the table praying she wouldn’t cry – he knew it would be his downfall if she did. But like Angela, she then shook her blonde curls and the brass-faced, teenage expression descended once more.
‘But
I don’t want to come from a divorced family,’ she pouted miserably. ‘And I don’t want to live here with Mum on my own either – it’s not fair!’
He
winced and sighed heavily. ‘It won’t be that bad,’ he tried to placate her. ‘I can come up to see you on weekends and we can go to Grandma’s for lunch – or you can come down to London for weekends and bring your friends.’
‘London?’
she exclaimed with a glint in her eye. ‘And I can bring the girls?’
He
thought of their small apartment being ransacked by a group of teenage girls and crossed his fingers hoping Helen would be able to cope with them better than he could.
‘Of
course,’ he said, knowing he’d agree to anything just to help smooth the situation over for her.
While
they headed out of the village in the car she chatted about which West End shows she’d love to see and which friends she could bring with her and how jealous the ones left behind would be. With Emily safely dropped at her friend’s house he drove back to Ely to see Patricia.
*
‘You’ve told her then?’ Patricia asked as they sat drinking tea in the lounge.
He
nodded sadly and told her about the arguments and how Angela had threatened to ruin him financially.
‘Over
my dead body,’ Patricia raged. ‘I’ll keep you afloat with money – that’s the least of your worries. But don’t you give into her threats and miss this chance of happiness...’
He
sighed heavily. ‘I won’t, Mum. After this weekend I know one thing for sure – I can’t live with Angela any longer. It’s proved to me that I mean absolutely nothing to my family – all I am to them is a cash-cow.’
He
bit down on his lip to stop it from trembling and felt like a little boy again. When he thought of all the years he’d driven around the country living out of a suitcase to make more money he swallowed down a lump of misery that gathered in his throat.
Patricia
leaned forward and rubbed his knee. ‘Don’t give up with the kids though,’ she soothed. ‘It’s not your fault, darling. Working away from home has created a distance, but as they get older they’ll realise the sacrifices you’ve made and it will get easier.’
He
brightened. ‘Yeah. I’m going to ring Christopher this afternoon or maybe drive up in the morning to see him.’ He drained his cup of tea. ‘You know, I’ve always thought I was doing the right thing providing them with the money for computers, mobile phones, the pony club and was confident they’d not miss out on things. But maybe it hasn’t worked out that way.’
He
stood up to leave and she joined him putting her thin fragile arms around him while he bent to kiss her cheek.
‘But
one thing’s for sure, Mum. Even if things don’t work out with Helen, I’ll be starting a new life on my own.’
She
nodded and then grinned cheekily at him. ‘Keep in touch and when things settle down I’d love to meet Helen.’
‘And
she’s looking forward to meeting my mum, the witch.’ He smiled and gave her a final hug.
*
As Richard drove home he decided to take the dogs out for a long walk and ring Christopher to arrange a meeting in Durham. But when he parked up, Angela was standing at the back door to the cottage shaking the cordless handset at him.
‘Christopher
is on the line,’ she hissed, handing the phone to him. ‘I’ve told him that you’re leaving us to live with your slag…’
Richard
took a deep breath. Hmph, she’d got in first, he thought, glaring at her and snatching the phone as she stormed back into the kitchen. Obviously, he seethed; she couldn’t find it in herself to put concern for her son’s feelings above her own spiteful hurt.
The
conversation didn’t go well. He tried to explain about Helen but Christopher was raging with temper and wasn’t prepared to listen to his side of the story. Angela had told Christopher that there wouldn’t be money to keep him at university in Durham. Richard reassured him this wouldn’t happen and he would always support his studies no matter how long it took. This, however, didn’t appease his son and with an angry and final ‘never ring or try to speak to me again’, Christopher hung up.
Christ,
he thought, now he knew how Helen had felt last weekend. Knowing your family didn’t like you was not easy. But at least Helen’s family all loved her, whereas all his family could see was how his absence would affect their own lives. Storming upstairs, he decided he couldn’t stay another minute longer and began packing his clothes into a large suitcase. Angela stood on the landing, ranting and hurling further abuse at him while he finished packing. He pushed past her and nearly ran down the staircase to get away from her. Even as he climbed, shivering with revulsion, into his car and looked up at the thatched roof she was still screaming insults as he sped off down the lane.