A Proper Family Christmas (8 page)

“Oh yes. Daddy told me all that on the phone last night,” said Julia blithely. “Poor darling! He was really fed up about it. I thought we'd better come to cheer him up.”

“Well, we'll leave you to settle in, then,” said Lesley, obviously feeling she had done her duty. “No, Posy, don't disturb Grandpa. Come on, Stephen.”

They disappeared into the sitting-room to disturb Grandpa themselves.

Frances suddenly found everyone looking at her, and realised with alarm that, as the only menial on the premises, she was expected to show the others to their rooms. As it happened, she did know where Kath had put Tony and Julia, in a cramped little room not far from the one she was sharing with Shelley, but she resented being the one to break the news.

“Come on, Nanny!” said Tony briskly. “Lead and we'll follow. No one's to go empty-handed, though. If I know William, he'll have put us all the way up in the attics!”

William dropped the cat and slumped down on the sofa, glaring at the glossy rubbish still littering the coffee-table. He had been very grateful for the interruption which had put an end to that tiresome conversation with his son and daughter-in-law, and now he hoped to finish his cup of tea and join his grandson in the Land of Nod while they all sorted themselves out at the other end of the house.

Scratch, sensing something he wasn't allowed to touch, jumped up onto the brochures and began to paw them about. The result was disappointing. They didn't make the satisfactory rustling noise of a proper newspaper, they were hard to chew pieces off, and, worst of all, it didn't seem to produce any reaction from William.

When Lesley and Stephen came in, things were much better. Lesley shrieked and clapped her hands, and Stephen snatched the brochures up and tried to straighten them out.

“Wretched cat! Where were we?” he said, moving William's cup out of reach and sitting down beside him.

“‘Green Banks', I think,” said Lesley. “These rooms look comfortable, don't they, Father? You can take some of your own furniture.”

William had no desire to take his furniture to ‘Green Banks' or anywhere else. His eyes narrowed thoughtfully.

“…And this one's really quite reasonably priced, considering all the facilities they offer. Look - it's even got a swimming-pool.”

“So it has,” said William, who had never been near a swimming-pool in his life and didn't intend to start now.

“It's only at Henley, so it wouldn't be far for us to visit.”

“Nor it would.” William had always had an aversion to Henley, since being taken to visit an elderly lunatic aunt there at a tender age.

“We could ring up and make an appointment for you to visit after the holiday.”

“Isn't it a good thing that Julia decided to bring the family for Christmas?” William remarked. “Young Posy will be such good company for your Tobias!”

“Yes,” said Lesley, a hint of doubt in her voice.

“They'll be able to play some of the games she taught him last time,” William went on.

“Er…yes. We weren't entirely sure…” Stephen trailed off.

“I seem to remember them having a high old time in the shrubbery! …Did Posy find his room, by the way? I'm sure she will. She seems a very determined child.”

Lesley got up. “I think perhaps I ought to see what's happening.”

,“Of course they may take some finding,” said William, as Stephen didn't move. “…So many places for children to hide in a house like this!”

“I'd better come with you,” said Stephen.

“Shut the door on your way out,” said William. “Oh - and I should put these things away somewhere. You wouldn't want them to get spoiled.”

“Oh, but this is a
sweet
little room!” said Julia. “Do you know, it was where my nanny used to sleep when I was a little girl! Posy, come and look at…

“We ought to let Shelley and Frances have it then,” said Tony, throwing himself down on the narrow bed. “Christ, this is uncomfortable!”

“Well, if you want to swap…” said Frances guiltily.

“Oh no, darling!” said Julia. “It's lovely and peaceful up here. The nursery wing's quite cut off from the rest of the house. Shove up a bit, Tony.”

“We'd never prise Shelley out of there now, anyway,” he said. They had left her en route, admiring the multi-mirrored dressing-table. “The room we give her in Wimbledon just isn't going to seem the same. I'm afraid we'll have to move in here with William, Julia. It's so hard to keep a good nanny these days!”

“God forbid!” laughed Julia. “This is a ghastly house - don't you think so, Frances? All those bare boards and freezing corridors! It made boarding school seem positively luxurious. I can't imagine why Stephen's so keen to live here.” She patted the end of the bed for Frances, as there was no chair. “Sit down and tell us all the gossip.”

“Er - I think perhaps I ought to check on Tobias,” said Frances, uneasily aware of Posy's disappearance.

“Oh, he'll be fine. Posy and he'll be having a wonderful game somewhere. I must say, we wouldn't have your job for anything! Aren't Stephen and Ratso simply horrendous to work for?”

“Ratso..?” Frances blinked.

“Lesley. Everyone calls her Ratso - everyone in the family, that is - didn't you know? …Oh, I suppose you wouldn't!” Julia shook back her red curls and pushed a pillow up behind her. “Their last nanny only stuck it a fortnight, and she gave Ratso a real earful before she went - reading between the lines. We were hoping you'd be able to tell us all about it!”

“No, I..er..”

“Oh, we were
counting
on you! Couldn't you make discreet enquiries?”

“Oh come on, Julia! I can't see Ratso having intimate little chats with her nanny over the tea-cups. In fact, you can't imagine Lesley being intimate with anyone - nor Stephen. It's a family mystery how Tobias was ever conceived…”

“Sh, Tony! You'll embarrass Frances! You can tell us, do they actually… - I mean, do they share a room?”

“Er - yes.”

“With a double bed?”

“No way!” interrupted Tony. “Two chaste singles, pushed together once a year!” He sat up, and leant back dubiously against the single bed-head. “How on earth did you come to get saddled with that pair, Frances? Or rather, however did Stephen and Ratso manage to get hold of such a very classy nanny?”

Frances, blushing, explained how the advertisement for a well-educated, ‘well-spoken' nanny in
The Lady
, seemed to hold out the promise of a glittering new life among intellectual Oxford society.

“And you found yourself landed with Lesley and Stephen and Tobias!” Tony chuckled. “I'm surprised you didn't take the first train back.”

“Well…it was a bit difficult.” She described the grand send-off, how her brother Joe had moved into her room, and what a fortune her salary as a full-time live-in nanny seemed compared with what she'd been earning at the doctor's.

“And that's important to you?”

“It means I can help out at home…” Somehow, with these sympathetic listeners, her whole life-story came pouring out - how her father's death had left her mother with four children to bring up on a small pension, her own decision to leave school instead of going to Art College, and how the new job would at last enable her to make a real contribution to the family income.

“So you're absolutely trapped - how ghastly!” Julia rolled her eyes. “It's like Jane Eyre, or something. In fact you do look a bit like Jane Eyre, doesn't she, Tony? Sort of old-fashioned - Oh, in a lovely way, I mean! It's having your hair up, and that long skirt - it is pretty! - and you've got those wonderful classical features one sees in old paintings…”

Frances blushed again. She wasn't used to being described in terms that suggested she was beautiful.

“I suppose you've left a string of broken hearts behind you in… Where was it?”

“Ludworth. But I haven't.” She could hardly count John Rowington, whom she'd dated since school, and who'd accepted the news of her departure with depressing equanimity.

“What? No men in your life?” Tony raised his brows at Julia.

“Oh, what a change from darling Shelley! She's man-mad. We never know who's going to appear at breakfast.”

Frances gaped at her. Surely they didn't really allow their nanny to have men staying overnight?

Julia's eyes dropped. “It's so hard to get hold of a decent nanny in London,” she said, “ - even when one can offer them
everything
! I mean, we have this ridiculously large house - all the gadgets and things. Two cars - though Shelley doesn't drive, of course. Only one little daughter, and she virtually looks after herself…”

“You'll make Frances sorry she isn't working for us.”

“Yes, it's an awful pity… But we can't exactly… Anyway, Shelley's a darling really.”

She broke off. They had all heard Lesley's shrill voice in the passage.

“Oh dear! She's calling Tobias,” said Frances.

There was a sharp rap at the door and Lesley opened it, glaring at the three of them crammed together on the bed as if she'd caught them taking part in an orgy.

“Tobias and Posy are missing,” she said dramatically. “If you've finished showing Mr. and Mrs. Britwell to their room, Nanny, perhaps you would help us search the house.”

* * *

“Oh, you don't want to worry about them!” Shelley was lying on the bed with her legs apart, in a way Frances found faintly embarrassing. “Pose'll have taken him off somewhere. She loves having another kid to push around.”

“Mrs. Shirburn's a bit worried…”

Lesley and Stephen were turning the whole place upside down for their missing heir and his cousin, and a good few remarks had been passed about Frances's dereliction of duty in failing to keep track of her charge.

“She's a right old fussy-knickers, isn't she?” Shelley shifted herself into a more comfortable position. “I reckon she doesn't get enough, that's her trouble. Should have seen the carry-on when they came over in the summer - all because Posy took her pants off in the paddling-pool. - He's a tight-arse ‘n all. Not a flicker when you try it on a bit, just to see if he's human.”

“You've no idea where Posy went, then?”

“Ain't been no sign of them here. This room's okay, isn't it? I had a go with your lippie - hope you don't mind.”

“I'll try downstairs, then.”

“Oh yeah. They'll be lurking somewhere.”

“I can't think where they can have got to!” Lesley wailed for the umpteenth time. “Have you looked in the garden, Stephen?”

“Oh for heavens sake! It's pitch dark.”

“So you haven't. I suppose it's too much trouble to search for your son on a cold winter's night. …
Such
a pity you couldn't keep an eye on them, Nanny, when we were so busy downstairs!”

Frances bit her lip, forbearing to remind her employer that her nannying duties had been eclipsed by those of parlourmaid.

“Is there a cellar or something?” she ventured.

“The cellar! Oh my God…” Stephen and Lesley bolted downstairs as one.

Frances hovered where they had left her, in the passage outside Julia and Tony's room. Those wretched children could be hiding anywhere in a house this size, and to be honest she wasn't really sure what all the fuss was about. What exactly was Lesley afraid Posy would do to Tobias if they weren't caught in time?

She began to call again, half-heartedly, knowing that if Tobias was in earshot he had no intention of answering.

“Hello, there!” Tony emerged from their room looking dishevelled. “Not found the terrible twins yet? I hope your Tobias isn't leading our Posy astray.”

“Tony, stop teasing Frances!” Julia peered round the door. Frances got the impression she hadn't many clothes on. “Have you tried the cupboards in the attic?” she said. “Some of them run under the roof for miles.”

“That's where they'll be,” agreed Tony. “Come on, Julia, let's finish our - er - unpacking.”

William was beginning to feel a bit peckish. It was about the time he usually had his tea.

Scratch was restless too. There were muffled noises coming from the big china-cupboard next door that he rather thought might be rats, and he welcomed the opportunity to investigate the dining-room side of the wall.

The house was momentarily quiet as William headed for the kitchen. Someone had left the cellar door open, and he pushed it to as he passed. He had a feeling he'd seen a tin of salmon that would make a nice sandwich.

Scratch gave up on the dining-room as soon as he heard the tin being opened. The noises sounded less like rats on this side, and he didn't want to risk encountering anything which might start grabbing at him again.

William shut the kitchen door behind them and turned on the wireless, loudly, because everyone on the BBC tended to mumble. Scratch jumped on a chair to watch the progress of the salmon.

CHAPTER 6

“Leo, I suppose you did let William know you were coming,” said Hilary with sudden awful foreboding, as they turned in at the gates of Haseley House.

“Yes - well…”

He hadn't.

“…You know what a rude old bugger he is when you phone.”

“But you told Margery?”

“God no! Mother can't stand me turning up anywhere she's going to be. Too much competition, I suppose. She likes to rule the roost, and with a strong personality like mine…”

“Leo! You mean you didn't tell anyone?”

“Well - I rather left it up to you - as I'm your guest, in a manner of speaking…”

Hilary closed her eyes in anguish. She sat still as the car drew up, hoping to disassociate herself from the moment of disclosure when Leo's family opened the door.