A Peculiar Connection (24 page)

“I never doubted that. What I wonder is how you feel in return.”

“What difference does it make how I feel? The situation is immovable. We masquerade as cousins, but, in truth, we are brother and sister. Whatever we may have felt in the past—or even now—must be repressed. To do otherwise is unthinkable.”

Mrs. Gardiner rose and closed the window, securing the latch. “I thank you for your honesty. It confirms my decision tonight.”

“What decision is that?”

“Mr. Darcy has spent the last half-hour in an attempt to persuade your uncle and me to allow you to accompany Georgiana and him to Ireland. My instincts forbade it, and now I know they were correct. It would be far too dangerous for you to spend that much time in his company.”

“I never agreed to go to Ireland. I wonder why he is so insistent.”

“He
said
he wanted you to meet your uncle Peter Darcy, for he is your father’s only living brother. I, however, wonder whether he has admitted the true reason even to himself.”

I looked away again. “You suspect him of some improper purpose, Aunt?”

“I suspect he would do anything to keep you beside him. I suspect he thinks he acts from only the highest and most noble motives, but I do not believe he knows himself. He is either unwilling or unable to face the truth. One does not banish feelings of love by a simple stroke of will.”

“I know that better than anyone,” I whispered.

“The only saving grace for both of you lies in placing distance between you. We must leave Bath. We must return you to Longbourn, or if that will not suffice, you may travel on to London with us. You must find someone else, Lizzy, and so must Mr. Darcy.”

][

The next morning, the rains began in earnest. The weather suited my mood, for my spirits remained as dark as the clouds hovering over the city. After breakfast, my aunt and I began the task of packing. We directed the maid in her duties, but since we had come prepared for several weeks’ visit, too many tasks existed for one person to complete quickly. I sent her to Mrs. Gardiner’s chamber and undertook the job of filling the trunk with my belongings. It felt good to stay busy. Even though I was weary from a sleepless night, my greatest fear was time to sit idle and think.

When we ceased our duties for tea, I noticed that my aunt had carried her bonnet and shawl into the parlour.

“Are you going out in this weather?” I asked.

“I have exhausted my supply of tonic, Lizzy. I cannot think of enduring that journey to Hertfordshire without it.”

“Why not send the maid?”

“With all she has to do? She cannot spare the time if we are to depart on the morrow.”

“Then, allow me to go for you. I need fresh air, even if it is damp, and it is but a short walk to the apothecary.”

The rain continued as I opened my umbrella and set out. My skirts were mussed by the time I reached the shop, and I hurried inside, relieved to reach shelter. Several people shopped within, and thus, I was forced to wait for my purchase.

I sighed as I thought of our leave-taking. Mrs. Gardiner did not think I should meet with Mr. Darcy before we left. I had written a note to Georgiana and instructed the servant to deliver it after we had gone. I felt guilty as though, once again, I was stealing away, but my good sense agreed that it was a prudent decision. Mr. Darcy would have exerted all efforts to change my mind. But, oh, I hated to think of him travelling such a great distance.

At last, my turn at the counter arrived, and I quickly paid for my purchase. Just as I reached the door, who should open it for me but Colonel Fitzwilliam!

Oh no
, I thought,
not him again!

“Miss Bennet, what a fortunate meeting! I was on my way to call upon your aunt, and I hoped to see you. There is something important that I would speak to you about.”

“’Tis too bad that you should call today, Colonel.”

“And why is that?”

“My aunt is not receiving visitors this afternoon.”

“Is she ill? I see that you have been to the apothecary.”

“I purchased a remedy for her. Pardon my haste, sir, but I must return to the house directly.”

“I hope Mrs. Gardiner recovers quickly. I—”

“I shall relate your greetings. I bid you farewell, sir.”

I hurried up the street, leaving him standing alone, his hat in his hand.
That was not quite a lie,
I told myself,
but less than the truth.
Aunt Gardiner said I must marry, and perhaps I should reconsider Colonel Fitzwilliam, but not now. I was in no mood to make a choice that day.

Upon entering the house, I heard my aunt’s and uncle’s voices coming from the parlour. I was surprised that Mr. Gardiner had returned so early, for at the breakfast table, he had declared that our sudden departure would force him to spend the entire day completing his final business obligations. I handed my bonnet and umbrella to the servant and walked into the room.

“Then, Edward, you must allow Lizzy and me to return to Hertfordshire without you.”

“I shall not. You know I had to return Bonner to London to take over for Jensen. We no longer have a man-servant to accompany you, and I cannot have my wife and niece travel without escort.”

“Is there not some way you might delay your business trip? Could you not take us home first?”

I cleared my throat. “Should I excuse myself, Uncle? Do I intrude?”

“Of course not, Lizzy. Come in,” Mr. Gardiner said. “Since you will learn of this soon enough, you may as well hear it now.”

I could not imagine of what he spoke, but my aunt wore a crestfallen expression.

“You will never believe this, Lizzy,” she said, throwing her hands up in the air.

“Goodness! Tell me what has happened.”

“An important shipment I expected today has been lost,” my uncle said.

“And where—of all places?” my aunt added, shaking her head. “Off the Irish coast!”

“Due to rank incompetence! The entire operation in Ireland must be looked into and corrected if I am to continue trading with that company.”

“That is not all,” my aunt said. “Your uncle insists he must travel to Ireland to personally rectify the situation. Immediately!”

“Madeline, I have explained repeatedly that I shall lose a great amount of money if I do not take care of the matter. Attempting to certify by post that business is done correctly obviously does not work. The merchandise is essential. I have promised large orders of fine Irish linen and glass to my best customers. If I do not deliver, my competitors will gobble them up before my eyes. And, in addition, I am sorry to admit that a substantial portion of my business is dependent upon the consignment of wool alone and the assurance that I receive subsequent shipments from the area in an appropriate manner. It requires my personal attention. I trust no one else to complete the task.”

I sank down upon the settee. “What does this mean, Uncle? Shall my aunt and I remain here in Bath while you make the trip?”

He picked up his cup of tea and took a sip. “I cannot feel right about leaving you here alone for that long a time.”

“Then, what shall we do?”

My aunt sat down in the chair across from me. “Lizzy, Edward says we must accompany him to Ireland.”

My eyes widened. “Uncle, could you not send for your man-servant to return? Surely, my aunt and I might remain here until he arrives from London, and then he could take us to Longbourn.”

“Bonner returned to Town this morning to take the place of my steward, Jensen. I must have someone I trust in charge of the house while we are gone. I received word from Jensen last week that his widowed sister died, leaving orphaned children. There is no one else in his family who can step in and take care of the matter. Since we were travelling and our youngsters are with your parents, I gave him a month’s leave to see them settled. I can hardly go back on my word and take him from such a demanding responsibility simply to escort you home. As for your father, well, we all know he hates to travel more than any man I know.”

“I doubt that Thomas would put himself out to fetch us,” Mrs. Gardiner said, “for Fanny writes that he is gouty again.”

“All the more reason for Papá to come to Bath. Are not the hot springs the perfect antidote?”

My aunt shook her head. “Not for your father.”

“Oh yes,” I said with a sigh. “I forgot that he considers the baths nothing more than the remedy of charlatans.”

“Your mother says his humour is ill, indeed, and you know how he detests travel. He made his yearly trip to Town when he brought you home last month. I cannot see him leaving the comfort of his library so soon to embark on a long trip to and from Bath when he is ailing. Besides, Fanny will be cross if he leaves her at home with a houseful of children, even though we both know he provides little help. Still, she must have someone to whom she may complain.”

I sighed, knowing my aunt spoke the truth. “Well, this cannot be an impossible dilemma. Surely, we can discover some solution to the problem other than a difficult journey across the Irish Sea. Why, that would take a long time, indeed. May we not sleep on the matter? An answer may come to one of us by the morrow.”

“I cannot put off the trip, Lizzy,” Mr. Gardiner chided, “for us to bide our time, conjuring up an answer out of nowhere!”

“I did not mean to offend you. I simply—”

“I know, I know, my dear. Forgive my short temper. This entire predicament has sorely tried my patience. I simply must reach Ireland without delay!”

None of us said anything more for a good quarter hour. My uncle opened his file and began to rummage through his papers. Spreading the purchase orders, bills, and correspondence across the table, he sighed more than once as he pored over them. The longer he studied the records, the more agitated his expression grew. My aunt refilled his cup of tea, but he waved it away with an air of vexation. She turned a questioning gaze toward me, but all I could do was shrug my shoulders. It appeared that we did not have a choice if Mr. Gardiner was to save his business.

At last, he straightened up and faced us. Removing his glasses, he rubbed his eyes. “There simply is no other answer. I must set off immediately, and both of you must go with me, for I shall not leave you unprotected in this large city. I met with Mr. Darcy an hour ago, and he says he can secure passage for us on the ship upon which he will sail.”

“Mr. Darcy!” I exclaimed.

My uncle walked across the room, sat down in the chair across from me, and leaned forward.

“Now, Lizzy, I know your aunt discussed with you our belief that you should avoid his company, but in this matter, I am afraid we must avail ourselves of the gentleman’s assistance. It is not the ideal solution, but as long as Madeline and I accompany you, we shall lessen your chances of being alone with him.”

“I do not like it, Edward,” my aunt said.

“If there were any other solution, my dear, do you not think I would seize hold of it?”

“Do not alarm yourselves on my account, I pray you,” I said, rising. “I have dwelt in Mr. Darcy’s presence much of this year. I am not afraid of him. I know he will keep his sentiments under good regulation.”

“Of course,” Mr. Gardiner agreed. “And with all of us making the journey, along with his sister and her companion, all should go well. Let us put aside our fears and make the best of it. I suggest you both write to Fanny tonight and console her with the happy thought that our children shall be hers for the duration.”

][

Four days later, we boarded Mr. Darcy’s carriages for the long trip to Holyhead. It was a tiring journey in itself, taking many days on difficult roads, and by the time we reached our destination, my aunt and Mrs. Annesley both suffered from the experience.

We recovered at the inn at Holyhead for two days and, at last, walked onto the deck of
The Falcon
, a passenger ship embarking for Dublin.

I could not help but be excited at the prospect before us. I had little experience with the sea, for I had never been aboard any boat other than a ferry. The brisk ocean breeze seemed to dispel my dark mood. Since childhood, I had possessed a cheerful perspective, and by that time, I wearied of the continuous ill temper that had plagued me for so long. If I had to make the trip, I might as well attempt to enjoy it. Thus, I began to anticipate visiting a different country with some degree of keenness. After all, what did I have to return home to?

Once, during the expedition across Wales, I wondered why I had not suggested that my uncle ask Colonel Fitzwilliam to take us back to Longbourn. He would have provided the perfect escort and saved my aunt and me from the voyage. An argument might be that I did not want to encourage the colonel in his pursuit of my hand. However, if I was honest, I had to admit that I was selfish, for I dreaded the long absence from Mr. Darcy even more than I wished to spare him my company.

I still could not see a favourable resolution to our situation, but simply being in his presence and that of Georgiana made me feel better. He was obviously pleased that I was making the journey, no matter the reason why. At each stop along the way to Holyhead, whenever we had met, his optimism seemed to spill over onto me. I could not see any sensible hope in his quest, but then, hope sometimes has a mind of its own.