you must get help or your children will be hurt. When you feel angry, ask yourself, "Is hanging on to my anger more important than my child's life?" If you want your child to live, you must do your own work about letting go of your divorce.
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To defuse immediate situations that stir up anger in your heart, you might try some of the mottoes that AA and Al-Anon offer. Saying out loud, over and over, "This too will pass," helps dispel the immediate rage, fear, or anxiety at the other parent's behaviors.
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For me, one motto wasn't ever enough. So one of my friends who works a Twelve Step program suggests saying five in a row, fast. She has written her own mottoes:
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 | | So what?
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| | Who cares?
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| | Forget it.
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| | Don't dwell on it.
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| | It'll all work out.
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| | or:
It'll all come out in the wash.
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I have had and still have much anger at my ex-husband. I have also been angry at the courts and at therapists. Three therapists told him he needed to go to counseling due to his physical violence, but the court would not force him to do this. I was angry that I had no support from the system, no protection. I am still angry that the courts don't
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