A Love Like This (4 page)

“I love you. Uh, babe. Christ, I missed
you.”

After that, words were lost; as together we
drowned in our love. We were frantic. Our hands moved over each
other’s bodies in the desperate need to get closer to each other,
our mouths slanting over each other and tongues hungrily warring
together. I felt my body tighten too soon and tried to slow down
but she was insistent, her hips rocking into mine in a relentless
rhythm. She knew she’d have me coming very soon.

I pulled my mouth away and slid my hands on
both sides of her face, my thumbs running along her jaw as I looked
into her eyes. She was beautiful. Breathtaking. That luscious mouth
was wet and open and her heavy breathing was like music… a savage
beat, exquisite evidence of the effect I had on her. Her jade eyes
languid; the lids dropped and her head fell back.

“Julia. Slow down, baby. I’ll come. I don’t
want to come yet. Stop. Stop!”

“No. I want you to let go,” she whispered
breathlessly. “Give it to me. I want it all.” Her head lifted and
she bent toward me to take my mouth with hers and her body kept
moving in relentless pursuit. I could feel every curve of my
erection rubbing in and out, back and forth and the pressure
brought me to the point where I didn’t want to stop it anymore. She
felt so good and it had been too long.

I pulled the lace of her bra aside and
gently squeezed, rolling her nipple between my fingers as my tongue
plunged into her mouth. Julia started sucking on it at the same
moment her body clenched in cadence around my body. She was coming
and I could feel every tremor of it. It sent me over the edge and I
exploded inside her with a groan, my body quaking and jerking
against hers as my arms tightened around her and I filled her.

As our bodies came down we kept kissing,
unwilling to lose the precious connection. Her fingers curled into
the muscles on my shoulders and she moved her mouth along the side
of my face in a series of soft caresses from my temple to my jaw.
She pulled back slightly, still straddling my lap and I pulled her
hips into mine tightly, still deeply imbedded inside her body.

I struggled to get control of my breathing
and rested my forehead against hers, running my hands up and down
her back in a light touch. I finally unclasped the bra and slid it
from her body. I wanted to keep touching her. To never stop. I
buried my face in her neck, kissing the slight sheen of saltiness
from her skin and running my tongue along her collarbone to end
with an open mouth kiss on the sweet skin below her ear. “My God. I
love you, Julia.”

Her fingers fisted into my hair and she
pulled back to look into my face. She smiled softly, devilishly. “I
know.”

I would never get used to the effect she had
on me. My throat tightened and I brushed her hair off her face.

“Thank you for getting this suite. I’m so
lucky you’re mine.”

The smile went away and she shrugged softly.
“You’re all I want.”

I swallowed and lifted the corner of my
mouth. It was my turn to smile in the wonder of it. “Sweetheart,
your pill cycle is up at the end of the week, isn’t it?”

She nuzzled into the side of my face with
her nose. “Yes. Don’t worry. No period this weekend.”

I chuckled softly. “That’s good. I mean…
wouldn’t stop me. I miss you too much.”

“Me, too.”

“Julia. Look at me.” I pulled her hand to my
mouth and kissed the inside of her wrist as her eyes met mine. I
could see the love behind the green depths and it never ceased to
amaze me. “I think it’s time, don’t you?”

She didn’t ask for me to elaborate. She
knew. “Are you sure? You’re working so much and I’m not sure if I
want to go through that without you around.”

“You always could read my mind.”

“No.” She shook her head with a smile. “I
can read your heart.”

Julia’s eyes softened with tears and I
kissed her cheekbones and then her eyelids, moving in a series of
butterfly touches toward her mouth. I kissed her softly, tasting
and ghosting my mouth over hers in a tender caress, tasting her
like the finest wine.

“Mmm…yes. I’m sure. I’ll have residency for
another three years. I don’t want to wait that long. Let’s make our
baby.”

I rolled to my side and slid out of her,
rising up on my elbow and letting my fingers splay out over her
flat stomach. My eyes burned into hers and watched every emotion
that crossed her face. She got a little crinkle between her
eyebrows and her chin trembled slightly.

“But I don’t want to lose this. I love this
time with you.” Two fat tears tumbled from her eyes. I bent to kiss
them away. “It’s never enough.”

“Nothing will change between us.”

“Uh huh! I’ll get fat and ugly. Like a whale
and you won’t want me.” Her face crumpled slightly as she tried not
to cry.

Happiness burst up inside my chest and I
chuckled softly. “No, you won’t! You’ll be carrying my baby. You’ll
be the most beautiful thing in the world to me. Don’t you know
that? You’ll always be beautiful to me, and seeing you swell with
the tangible evidence of our love,” I had to stop as the words
lodged in my throat. “There’s nothing I want more.” We looked at
each other in awed silence for a few seconds and my chest tightened
at the emotions flashing across her features. When she closed her
eyes and more tears fell, I finally found my voice. “But if you
don’t want to have a baby now…” I began and my heart fell
slightly.

She reached up and laid her fingers against
my mouth. “No, I do. I do, Ryan. I want a little boy with big blue
eyes and golden hair, who looks just like you.”

I took her wrist in my hand and kissed the
fingers against my mouth. “Are you sure? I don’t want to rush
you.”

“As long as you promise things won’t
change.”

“I promise. You make me so happy,
Julia.”

“Let’s keep it a secret. That we’re trying,
okay?” Her voice quivered around the words and my heart swelled
inside my chest. I was the luckiest bastard on the planet and I
knew it. She was everything I could ever want and so much more.

I nodded as my vision blurred. “Yeah. This
is the most intimate thing in the world and I don’t want to share
it with anyone but you. You’re so perfect… you’ll make a perfect
baby. So beautiful.”

“Because his daddy is so gorgeous.”

I leaned back and reached out to turn off
the light before pulling Julia gently onto my chest. She settled in
with a sigh as we wrapped our arms and legs around each other. I
sucked in a deep breath and stroked my fingers through her silky
hair, spreading it out on her bare alabaster back.

“I love you,” I said into the pitch darkness
and felt her turn and place an open mouth kiss on my chest, then
another. “We should use condoms for at least a month after you’re
off of the pill, babe.”

“Yes, Dr. Matthews,” she said, her voice
laced with amusement.

“Well? I want that shit out of your body.
He’s been waiting all these months. The least we can do is make
sure he’s healthy when he finally gets here.”

She laughed softly. I couldn’t see her face,
but she turned toward me and snuggled closer, resting her forehead
into the curve of my neck. The warmth of her breaths rushed over my
skin and I turned to kiss her forehead.

“Yes. But… we’ve never used condoms. How
will you manage?” she teased.

“I’ll manage.”

“We could always abstain. Not have sex for
the five weeks,” she teased.

I smiled. “Like hell,” I retorted with a
huff, my fingers still tracing delicately over the skin of the arm
she held across my body. “What should we name him?”

“We have months and months to figure that
out. Something perfect, though.” I yawned, exhaustion finally
getting the better of me. Julia heard it. “Now hush and sleep.”

Her breathing evened out and I closed my
eyes.

~2~

The reception was huge. Easily three times
that of our wedding, Jenna must have invited all of Boston proper.
She was beautiful in a huge tulle-skirted ball gown and Julia had
loaned her Mom’s diamond pins to wear in her hair, saying it was
only fair that both of the Matthews brides share in the tradition.
Jenna was very moved at the gesture and it fulfilled another
tradition of something borrowed. She looked like a fairy princess,
and completely luminous. Aaron was beaming and holding on to her
for dear life. I smiled.
It’s about Goddamn time.

The party was winding down and my eyes
searched for my own gorgeous wife. Julia, Ellie, and Jenna’s sister
were all in black, but like our wedding, the bridesmaid dresses
were completely different styles. I noticed them briefly, but
didn’t register the differences all that much. All I knew was that
Julia left me gasping in the black silk creation that skimmed her
body and dipped low in back leaving her creamy skin completely bare
to just below her waist. A smattering of sequins outlined the
edging and followed around over the shoulders and to the neckline,
leaving just a hint of the top swells of her breasts visible. It
left little to the imagination the way it hugged her body. At
least…
my imagination
, since I knew firsthand what lay
underneath. It was sexy as hell and really a far cry from a
traditional bridesmaid dress. Her hair was up loosely with tendrils
falling free in front and one or two down the back. It gave her a
soft, subtly ruffled look that screamed she’d just been made love
to. I couldn’t help the quirk of my lips.

I was sitting at the table we’d been
assigned, next to the dance floor and talking casually to Tanner
and a couple of my other Harvard friends. Aaron and Jenna were
socializing with some of her family and Harris was at the bar
getting drinks. I hadn’t seen Julia or Ellie for a good half hour
and my eyes were starting to search.

Tanner was talking about one of the cases he
wanted me to consult on and I tried to keep my focus, but the
alcohol and my preoccupation with my missing wife wasn’t
helping.

“I’ve run all types of pulmonary tests and
pulled in specialists and none of us can seem to agree,” Tanner
said. “One says COPD, another says it’s a heart issue. I can’t find
anything wrong with his lungs and his oxygen levels are
normal.”

“Have you done a coronary angiogram? Maybe
it’s a valve problem. If the lungs are clear and the patient still
can’t get enough oxygen, it seems logical that something is wrong
with the heart. Maybe he isn’t getting enough blood to or from his
lungs. It may be congestive heart failure.” I mumbled off the
diagnosis’ most obvious to me. “Might need a defibulator.”

We continued our conversation and Harris
came to join us, but as he was last night, he was preoccupied and
distant. I noticed that he was drinking much more than he normally
did.

“Hey, man.” I looked up at him and followed
his movements with my eyes as he sat down near me.

“Hi. Julia looks incredible tonight.”

A grin broke out on my face. “Yes.
Beautiful. Ellie is too. She did a beautiful job on the
dresses.”

Harris huffed. “This wedding has been all
she’s cared about for months. Honestly, I’m glad it’s over. Now
maybe we can get back to normal.”

I turned my chair toward him so I could
speak directly to him and not let the others at the table be privy
to the conversation. “What’s going on? Do you want to talk about
it?”

He shrugged and shot me a glance before
returning his attention to his almost empty glass. “It’s just
different. She’s changed. We’re both busy and she seems checked
out. I come home from being on the road and there is a huge wall
between us. I can’t seem to knock it down and frankly, I’m sick of
trying. She works like a dog on everyone else’s wedding but won’t
marry me, and I’m not sure I even want to anymore.”

“I sensed something was wrong between you
two. I asked Julia about it, but all she said was that you were
going through something tough, but you’d be able to work it out. I
got the feeling Ellie didn’t want her to share their conversations
with me. Harris… I’m very sorry, man. I can’t imagine going through
anything like that with Julia. Is there anything I can do?”

His lips twitched in response, he closed his
eyes and shook his head. “I’m not sure if even
I
can do
anything about it.”

“Maybe you two should get away together.
It’s hard to imagine that you’d be so at odds. Ellie has always
been so crazy over you.” I paused and he just seemed mesmerized by
his drink. “How long has this been going on?”

“Four or five months; since before your
wedding. Seeing you and Julia,” Harris stopped and sighed, “has
made me really face the abyss between Ellie and me. The two of you
together… it’s… well, it sort of puts my situation in
perspective.”