A Little Lost (19 page)

              Mason and Kyle leave when the doctors clear me to go home, I have a few bruised ribs, a broken wrist and all my cuts have been cleaned.

              Travis gets a taxi home with me and puts me to bed with reassurances that he isn’t going anywhere and will be right there if I need him.

              The next few days pass in a blur, my wounds heals, Travis stays with me and fields any calls I get from Kyle or his family and Cat and Tom spend a lot of time with me. Cat asks about what Kyle said to me but I don’t tell her. Everyone questions me relentlessly about the attack but there is nothing I can tell them because I don’t remember anything about it. I finally convince Travis to move back into his own house but I somehow end up there with him by morning. Since the attack I’ve been getting nightmares and running straight to him. 

              Shivering I knock on Travis’s front door, I don’t know why I don’t just move in instead of just coming over in the middle of the night every night like I have done for the last week.

              When there’s no answer I knock once more harder.

              I’m just about to turn around and give up when the door opens, to my surprise it isn’t Travis who answers though, it’s Kyle.

              He steps aside to let me in, running in out of the cold I turn to face him when he closes the door frowning at me.

              “Travis here?” I ask through chattering teeth.

              “He’s in bed”

              “Okay” I turn and head for the stairs.

              “He isn’t alone” his voice stops me before I reach the first step.

              “Oh okay” I turn and change course into the front room instead.

              “Okay?” he asks incredulously.

              “Uh ... yeah”

              “You aren’t bothered?”

              “Nope.”

              “He’s with a woman” he says slowly.

              “Good for him” I shrug

              “You don’t care that he’s cheating on you?”

              “We aren’t together Kyle, we’re just friends”

              “Riiiiiight” 

              Footsteps on the stairs stop any sort of reply from me.

              Travis appears in the doorway and walks straight over to me.

              “Another nightmare?” he asks pulling me into a hug.

              “Yeah, I can go”

              “Don’t be silly” he walks us over to the sofa keeping his arms wrapped around me.

              “What’s going on here?” Kyle asks staring at us struggling to comprehend something.

              I turn my eyes away from him. Since I spoke to him or rather since he shouted at me at the rock pools I’ve avoided him. It occurred to me that since my father died I have been relying on his family and that was unfair of me. Like I told him in my house that one night months ago, he has his own family now and I’m not apart of that. I need to let him live his life even if I know the life he’s living is a lie.

              “Lou has trouble sleeping sometimes since the attack, that’s all” Travis answers him.

              “I got that, I meant what’s going on with you two?” he asks slowly.

              “She needs someone to be there for her, at the moment that person is me” I can tell from his tone that he isn’t happy to be pointing this out. I snuggle up closer to him.

              “I thought you two were together”

              “What does it matter to you?”Travis snaps at him but then sighs heavily and squeezes me.

              “It doesn’t it’s just, she deserves to be treated a bit better, don’t you think?”

              Travis snorts “How I’m treating her is the least of our worries. Maybe you should take a step back and look more closely at how you’re being treated”

              I tense.

              “What’s that supposed to mean?” Just like is father, Kyle’s voice changes when he’s frowning.

              “It means, you said that Louise was an inconvenience to your family but maybe you’re an inconvenience to someone else’s family but you’re too caught up in that head of your you can’t even see how fucked up everything is around you”

              “I didn’t mean that!” Kyle shouts, loosing his temper “I was drunk, if I could take back everything I said that night I would, don’t you think I know that what happened was my fault?”

              “See?” Travis laughs once “You didn’t even listen to what I just said”

              “Maybe I should go” I speak up.

              “No, you stay. I’ll go” Kyle shouts before storming out and slamming the door behind him.

              “Trav ... It was Chris” I whisper, remembering my nightmare.

              “What?” he asks slowly.

              “That night. When Mason told me he couldn’t find Kyle, I went to the rock pools. When he left I waited a few minutes before I went  back home. When I was in the woods someone was there, I called out thinking it was Kyle but then I remember hearing Chris’s voice, he said I needed to learn to keep a secret”

              “Son of a bitch!” he shouts.

              “What am I going to do? Maybe I should leave after all”

              “No. You’re not letting him run you out of town” he pulls me down onto the sofa with him.

              I follow Cat through the airport so we can meet up with Jen and the guys, we gave the sixth ticket to Brody, he’s the guy that Jen has been dating for the past few weeks.

              “This trip is going to be brilliant” She grins at me as we check in.

              “I know, I can’t wait until I can finally relax and be away from everything” I agree but frown when my phone rings.

              “Hello?” I answer noticing Mason’s name flashing on the screen.

              “He knows” is all he says before he hangs up.

              “Shit” I mutter looking up at Cat.

              “What’s wrong?” she frowns at me.

              “I ... I need ...” I trail off and turn around walking away from her “I can’t come” I shout over my shoulder at her.

              “What?!” she screeches to my back.

              “I need to stay here” I shrug and run out of the airport.

              No matter what has happened Kyle needs me right now and after he helped me grieve for my father, the least I can do is be there for him now.

              I hail a taxi outside the airport and try calling Kyle on my way home but it keeps going straight to voice mail. So I call Mason instead.

              “Where is he?” I ask as soon as he answers.

              “I don’t know, he left the house and we can’t get hold of him, we’ve looked everywhere”

              “I’m on my way to my house now, I’ll drop my suitcase off and I’ll try and find him” I assure him.

              “Oh, Vegas. I forgot. Sorry Lou. I shouldn’t have called you” The regret is clear in his voice.

              “We should have told him” I shake my head “I’ll find him and call you when I know he’s okay”

              I hang up and lean deeper into the seat wondering how much Kyle hates me right now for not telling him.

              I pay the driver when we pull up outside my house and wheel my case in through the front door behind me, when I turn around the door to the rock pool room opens and Kyle steps out, he starts when he see’s me.

              “Hi” I offer a weak smile.

              “My mother has a key to this house, did you know that?” he asks but I don’t think he expects an answer, I didn’t know that no but considering this house was build for both of us I’m not all that surprised. “You know” he sums up looking back at me.

              “Kyle, I’m so sorry I –“

              “You’re sorry?” he asks incredulous.

              “Well yeah, I wanted to tell you but your dad, he said it wasn’t our place to say. Sorry”

              “Will you stop saying sorry?” he shouts.

              I take a step back into the door. I know Kyle would never hurt me physically but he has the power to kill me with just words alone.

              “I moved back here, everyone was freezing you out and turning against you all the while you’re father was dying and they were horrible to you, trying to protect me.

              “You never once said anything to any of them and neither did I. Then you’re father died and I wasn’t there for you because I was her. The whole time she was having an affair with your boyfriend.

              “I turned by back on you when you needed me most for a woman who was betraying both of us and
you’re
sorry!” he’s still shouting.

              I frown at him “None of it was your fault Kyle, you didn’t know. I didn’t find out until the morning after she told me she was pregnant”

              “That’s why you didn’t leave town?” he asks surprised.

              “I knew it would hurt you, I didn’t want you to go through it alone” I shrug “You’ve been there for me in the past”

              “I could kill her”

              “Join the club” I mutter.

              “I’m not hurt by what she did, I’m hurt because of how she did it. This whole time I’ve been hating myself for feelings that I can’t hide”

              “It’s better that you know now than a few years down the line” I try for positive.

              “I hated myself” He whispers, when he looks up at me his expression is so lost a lump forms in my throat, I want to go to him but I’m not sure if that’s the best thing to do.

              “Why?” I whisper back

              “Do you know what my first thought was when she told me she was pregnant? It was that it was all wrong, you were the one who was supposed to have my children, not her”

              “No” I whisper, shaking my head “You can’t do this Kyle” he frowns at me so I raise my voice “You can’t do this! You can’t come here and say these things to me just because your relationship has ended! It’s not fair to me!”

              “I’m not! Don’t you see? Why do you think I postponed the wedding? I couldn’t go through with it. I was putting it off. That night at the rock pools, I told Amber I wasn’t sure I wanted to get married. I told her we needed to wait until the baby was older”

              “Kyle, I love you and I’d do anything for you, you know that but I can’t let you hurt me again. I’ll help you in anyway I can but please don’t say things like this to me. Not again” I beg him with my eyes.

              “What am I going to do now?” he asks searching for unknown answers.

              “You work through it”

              “Where are you going?” he nods at the suitcase behind me.

              “Ah.. we were on our way to Vegas. Your dad called when we were in the airport. I didn’t tell anyone, I just left”

              “Lou, your dad got you those tickets” he frowns at me.

              “I know” I shrug “But my dad would also understand that you need me. You helped me Kyle, when he died and I was lost, you helped me. He’d want me to return the favor. Besides I can go to Vegas anytime”

              “Do you mind if I stay here for a few days? I don’t want to see anyone”

              “Of course not” I frown at him “I do need to call Mason though, I promised I let him know you were alright”

              “Have at it” he waves his hand in the air and settles him self onto one of the sofas.

              I dial Masons number, he answers on the second ring.

              “Have you found him?” he asks immediately.

              “Yeah, he’s in my house, he’s okay”

              “I’ll be over now, put the kettle on”

              “Sure thing” I hang up.

              “He’s on his way over” I call to Kyle as I walk into the kitchen to start coffee.

              “Figures” I hear him mutter.                    

              Mason turns up just as I’m pouring the coffee’s, unfortunately, he doesn’t turn up alone.

              “Kyle, let me explain” Ambers voice rings through the house.

              “I don’t want to talk to you Amber” Kyle replies flatly.

              “So you won’t talk to me, your fiancé but you’ll talk to your ex-girlfriend who’s fucking your best friend?” she demands.