Zoey And The Nice Guy (Big Girl Panties #1) (12 page)

The next day, thrilled about everything, Kellen approached Zoey. “How crazy is it?” he said. “I’m gonna be an uncle.”

At which point she broke his nose with her fist. She got in school suspension, which she fully deserved, but Kellen looked for a moment to speak to her, to figure out what had gone wrong. He found the moment a week later. She was walking to her car at the end of the day. He caught up to her. “Hey,” he said, almost reaching for her arm, but stopping when he remembered how she’d acted over his touching a small bit of her hair.

She spun to face him. “What?”

He waited a beat, thinking she would do the decent thing and apologize. She didn’t. So he did. “I’m sorry for upsetting you the other day,” he said.

She laughed. “Seriously?”

“Yeah. I like you, Zoey. I don’t want to piss you off. Maybe we could go out for coffee, or something, and—“

“You’re making me late for work.”

“Oh. I’m sorry, but if you could give me a time—“

“I’m not giving you anything. Fuck off, Kellen.” She turned and left. Even then, he was distracted by the way her hair lifted in the breeze.
 

He pushed it back over her shoulder and let it play through his fingers. “I love this,” he whispered. “This alone is worth it all.”

Her breath hitched. She folded her arms over her chest and took a step backwards. “Thanks. See you around, Kellen.”

She turned to leave. He grabbed her arm and turned her to face him. She wouldn’t look at him. She just stared at his chest, her teeth clenched shut like a stubborn child. He held her by the shoulders and rested his forehead atop hers. “I’ll take care of you—“

“Stop. Just don’t.”

“Zoey, I want you. It’s fun and all, but I’m starting to feel like this might never happen. I don’t know what I’ll do if this never happens.”

She looked up at him, her brows furrowed. “I guess we could just go back to your place this afternoon. Just burn off all this energy so we can go on with our lives.”

He dropped his hands and stepped back. “That’s not what I want. Is that what you want?”

She hitched a shoulder. “Sometimes it helps to just get it out of your system.”

That must have been what she’d meant when she’d said she would hurt him. She couldn’t be that cold. No one could be that cold. “That’s all you feel for me?”

She threw up her hands. “What else is there?”

It was a punch to the chest. “How about history? How about years of me trying to get past your walls and you finally letting me in? Zoey, I got nothing against casual sex, but what I feel for you…it’s deeper than just attraction.”

She laughed, but the sound was hollow. “You think that, but you can’t handle me. I’m not….” She stopped and looked away. “I’m not as together as you think. I mean, I was in a relationship a little over a year ago. Terry Hale. You know him?”

Kellen knew who he was, so he nodded.

“I really liked him. Kind of like how I like you. I wanted something…more…than what I’d had, and I thought maybe I was ready. It went bad. You should, maybe, talk to him.”

Kellen shook his head. “I don’t have to talk to him. I can handle you, Zoey. I want to see where this goes.”

She studied him long and hard before she stepped back. “I’m sorry. If you want to go away for a weekend and just, you know, tear into each other, just get this out of our systems, then I’m up for that. But I don’t want to start something with you that’s going to get you hurt.”

“Quit worrying about hurting me and admit that you don’t wanna get hurt yourself.”

“All right,” she said without hesitation. “I don’t wanna get hurt. A guy like you has the potential to break my heart. I’m not ready for that risk. I’m sorry, Kellen. Let me know if you wanna hook up.”
 

With that, she turned and went inside. He stood there, for a moment, and let the emotions flow through him. He was vacillating between frustration and pain.
 

He got in his truck and drove home, wondering what had possessed him to think he had a chance with her. Wondering why he even wanted one.

Jayce’s bar might not have been the most romantic place to take a date for drinks after dinner, but Kellen had learned from past mistakes and wasn’t straying too far from home for this one. After spending an hour in the car with Celeste crying and telling him how much she missed her ex, he wasn’t taking any chances.

It had been three days since Zoey had blown him off. He’d put her out of his mind. Hadn’t even given her a second thought. They would just be friends. No big deal. Besides, she was right—she was far too high maintenance. He deserved someone nice, like Amy.
 

He’d met Amy at the grocery store the day before. Her bag had broken on her way out the door, and he’d helped her pick up her things. She’d thanked him with the sweetest smile he’d ever seen.
 

She further impressed him by showing up for their date on time, dressed in an attractive, but practical, skirt and cardigan set. She looked like she’d walked out of an episode of Leave It To Beaver. Which was just right for his needs.
 

They’d had a lovely dinner and now, since he wasn’t ready for the night to be over, he was taking her to Jayce’s. He led her in by the elbow and smiled when he saw her looking around at the place like it was her first time at Disneyland. She was definitely over twenty-one, which he was glad to know, since her innocence might have given him second thoughts. Maybe she’d just never been in this particular bar.

Her ponytail bobbed back and forth as she took in her surroundings. He led her to the bar, because he wanted Jayce to meet her.

Jayce looked unimpressed as he jerked his head up in greeting. He was chewing on a toothpick and had a rag slung over one shoulder. “What’ll it be, kids?” he asked as they settled in at the counter.

“Beer,” Kellen said. “What about you, Amy?”

She shrugged, her arms close to her body. “Um, I don’t know. What kind of drinks can you make?” she asked Jayce.

Jayce shot Kellen a look, which Kellen ignored. “Anything you want, sweetheart.”

Amy blushed and giggled. She didn’t interpret Jayce’s ‘sweetheart’ in the cavalier manner in which he’d said it. “Um…I’ve always wanted to try a screwdriver.”
 

Jayce arched a brow at Kellen as he moved down the counter to fix their drinks. Amy leaned in to Kellen. “Are you friends with him?” she asked in a reverent whisper, as though Jayce were a celebrity or minor god.

“Yeah, since first grade.”

“Oh, wow.”
 

Jayce returned with their drinks, and Kellen introduced him to Amy. “I really like your tattoos,” Amy said to Jayce. “Where did you get them?” She rested her chin on her palm and stirred her drink absently.

Jayce glanced at Kellen.
 

“I mean, I hope you don’t mind my asking,” she said. “Did you get them in the Army or in prison or something?”

Jayce took his toothpick out of his mouth and stared at her. “Got them at the mall. From a nineteen-year-old girl named Tiffany with pink hair.”

Kellen tipped his beer to his lips to hide his grin.
 

Amy’s expression fell, and Jayce walked away to take care of another customer. “He’s—different,” Amy said, her eyes never leaving Jayce.
 

This was not the first time this had happened to Kellen. Certain women were more attracted to Jayce’s image than his own, which just seemed wrong. Kellen felt his image projected dependability and stability. Jayce’s image, though it was only surface deep, was that of a hard-drinking, heavy-hitting thug…the kind of man who ended up beating his wife. Kellen wondered if Amy would be disappointed to find out that Jayce had a heart of gold.

She sipped her screwdriver and made a funny face.

“Don’t like it?” Kellen asked.

“I’m not really a big fan of orange juice,” she said.

Kellen pressed his lips together and stared at her for a moment, wondering why she’d pick an orange juice based drink if she didn’t like orange juice. Then he jerked his head up at Jayce.
 

Jayce nodded and a few seconds later, moved back toward them. “Not a fan?” he asked Amy.
 

She hunched her shoulders and made an apologetic face. “I’m sorry.”

“No problem. What else you wanna try?”

“Um, maybe you could make a suggestion? Aren’t you bartenders supposed to be able to guess a person’s drink?”

Jayce leaned back, his face still devoid of expression. He kept his eyes on Amy as he flipped up a shot glass, poured it full of whiskey, and slid it over to Kellen. “I make this candy Cosmo for Janice,” he said, nodding toward the buxom, blond waitress over by the pool tables. He was already pulling liquor off the shelves. “Should suit you.”

“Is Janice your girlfriend?”

Jayce didn’t answer.
 

Kellen shot back the whiskey and then reached across the bar and refilled his own glass. He filled in for Jayce, tending bar sometimes, so Jayce didn’t mind if he helped himself.
 

Amy took the drink Jayce handed her and sipped. Her face lit up. “It’s so good. You’re so good at this. So do you have a girlfriend?”

He folded his arms over his chest. He looked at Kellen and shook his head. Kellen just shrugged. What could he do? He knew it was over. “Amy, I think after this drink, I’ll take you on home. It’s getting late.”

“Oh,” she said, her brow creasing. “I guess so. Maybe we’ll come back again tomorrow?”

She glanced hopefully at Jayce.

Kellen laughed bitterly. “Maybe.” Hell no.

“You okay to drive?” Jayce asked.

Kellen wasn’t really feeling the two shots and the beer, but that didn’t mean he should be driving. He turned his eyes up to Jayce. Jayce smirked. “You man the bar. I’ll take her home.”

“Really?” Amy squealed, as though she had a shot in hell of Jayce hooking up with her.

Kellen moved behind the bar and handed Jayce the keys. He handled the few customers who were there on a Thursday night until Jayce returned less than fifteen minutes later.

“You sure can pick ‘em, man,” he said, after reclaiming his spot behind the bar.
 

Kellen sat back down on a stool and drank the whiskey handed to him. “I saw her,” he said, working on shot number four, “and I thought, this seems like a nice girl. She’s, like, the absolute opposite of Zoey. That’s what I want, and I went for it. Unfortunately…,” He threw back the shot. “I was wrong.”

“Opposite of Zoey? The fuck is that s’posed to mean?” Jayce asked.

Kellen shook his head, starting to not care. “You ever have feelings for a woman that you think are serious, but then she acts like they’re not serious?”

Jayce just leaned on the bar.

“I mean, I’ve been with girls where all it was was just sex, and then they went and got all clingy and started acting like I owed them some sort of relationship when I’d been very clear that I was just looking for fun. To hear it said back to you…I mean, can you believe she actually said we should just fuck and get it out of our systems? And beyond that, shouldn’t I be jumping at the opportunity?”

Six shots in, he was feeling philosophical.

Jayce didn’t pour him another one. “I’m confused,” he said. “Who are we talking about?”

Kellen dropped his head back and groaned. “No one. Just…I don’t know why I want her, and I don’t know why what she’s offering isn’t enough.”

“So sleep with her anyway. Maybe she’ll change her mind. If not, at least you got laid.” Jayce shrugged. It was just as simple as that, for him.

“I wish I lived in your world, Jayce. So uncomplicated.”

“The fuck does that mean?”

“It means that you don’t dwell on your feelings and make everything all confusing. I admire that.”

Jayce frowned. “Kind of sounds like one of those insults disguised as a compliment. I’m sorry…who is this we’re talking about? Because you mentioned Zoey and I just want to clarify—“

“Fuck Zoey! She’s on her own. She had her chance and she fucking blew it.” Kellen felt a profound sadness that clutched at his chest and throat and eyes.
 

“Oh, shit,” Jayce said.

Kellen fought it back, though. No tears escaped; however, the pain was plain on his face.
 

“Listen,” said Jayce. “You crash upstairs, okay? Don’t give her another thought. She’s not the girl for you, Kel.”

Kellen nodded then shuffled down the hall to the back stairs that led up to Jayce’s apartment. He fell onto the couch and flipped the television on. He fell asleep.

It took Zoey four days to admit she’d done it on purpose. She’d pushed him away because he was right. She was looking for a man who would fight for her. Now she’d gone and blown it for herself.
 

She sped up the highway toward St. Louis on Saturday morning. She was headed to the Chesterfield Mall to fulfill the wish lists of two, displaced little angels. Maya had made her a list based on the kids’ letters to Santa. Christmas was less than a week away, and Maya wanted to get some presents under the tree.

Zoey was glad for the chance to escape. She’d been moping around, feeling sorry for herself for too long. Kellen hadn’t called or come by, of course. Why would he? Besides, she’d done the right thing. She’d ended it before it had even begun. It would have been wrong of her to string him along. Once she’d realized their attraction, she’d backed off. All was well.
 

Addy had offered to come shopping with her, but Zoey thought it best that she stayed and babysat Maya and the kids. Besides, it was good to be alone for a while.
 

She found the mall and parked in a spot way in the back. The ground was covered in a couple of inches of snow, which had become muddy slush in the parking lot. She hiked through it to the mall entrance and was blasted with noise. Never having had a family to buy for, she hadn’t understood the concept of last-minute shopping, but now she saw what the big deal was. The weekend before Christmas. It was sheer madness.