Authors: B. Justin Shier
I nodded, but I was still puzzled. She wasn’t treating me as the Ted Kaczynski of schoolyard brawls. Could it be that they didn’t know what happened? I mimed confusion, hoping that she would take the hint.
“
Don’t worry about going to the bathroom, dear,” she replied. “There’s a diaper for that.”
Egads. I needed to work on my miming skills. I frowned and shook my head.
“
Are you confused where you are, dear?” she asked.
Heck yes. I nodded.
“
Your father—your father doesn’t seem to be around,” she said trying to hide a frown. No surprise there. He was employed as a card dealer at one of the casinos. That meant he worked long, weird hours. That, or he was passed out in a gutter. (To be fair, when my dad wasn’t intoxicated he was a halfway decent guy. The problem was he was never
not
intoxicated.) Dr. Montgomery eyed me with a knowing look. Deadbeat parents were par for the course in these parts. “Well, Dieter, you’re almost eighteen. If he’s not going to show up, I guess I should bring you up to speed.”
I nodded eagerly.
Dr. Montgomery motioned for the nurses to leave. Once they had, she grabbed a stool and sat down. She let out the sigh of someone who had been on her feet for a very long time. There was a scratch along the length of her jaw. One of her patients must have gotten fresh with her.
“
Dieter, I don’t know how much you can recall, so I’ll start from the beginning. The police tell us that a brawl broke out at Ted Binion High. Around the same time, someone was working in the school’s chemistry lab. The police believe the individual became distracted or scared by the fighting. They think he-or-she forgot to turn off the gas line when they left.” She looked past me out the window. “Some of Mr. Nelson’s friends told the police that you and a Mr. Nelson had run to escape the violence, and that the two of you went to hide behind the school.”
My eyebrows rose. How on earth had the story gotten so wacked out?
“
Now Dieter, this is where things get a bit strange: The fire department believes that in the panic over the riots, someone set off the school’s fire alarm. As you may know, when fire alarms are activated, all the magnetic fire doors release. The firemen believe the doors nearest the lab were defective. They think a spark from the doors’ release mechanism ignited the gas building up in the chemistry lab.” She shook her head. “Pretty ironic when you think about it, huh?”
I frowned. That story was totally implausible. Those doors operate by turning
off
a magnet when the system is triggered. Why would cutting a circuit cause a spark? Besides, a room couldn’t fill up with that amount of gas in a few minutes. I ran the calculation in my head. Even if someone had left a valve open full blast, it would have taken over an hour for enough gas to build up to blow up the lab.
“
When the mechanism ignited the gas, there was an explosion. It blew apart the wall you and Mr. Nelson where hiding behind. You both were caught in the blast. The debris hit with terrible force, Dieter. You were badly banged up. You suffered a collapsed lung along with a number of broken ribs. Some of the debris struck your head, and you suffered some brain swelling. We nearly lost you. Mr. Nelson was badly injured as well.” She shook her head sadly. “We tried everything we could, but his injuries were just too severe. I’m sorry, Dieter, but Mr. Nelson didn’t make it.”
I pondered what exactly it was that they “tried” on the headless corpse of Tyrone Nelson. I nearly laughed.
Dr. Montgomery must have misread the expression on my face. She said, “I’m sorry, Dieter, so very sorry. He must have been a friend of yours.”
I sat still and stared at the ceiling.
Dr. Montgomery patted my hand, and then took it into her own. She gave me a sad smile. “It wasn’t your fault, Dieter,” she said quietly. “I need you to remember that. The story has been running in the papers. Everyone knows you didn’t do anything wrong. If you don’t know that something is explosive, you can’t be held accountable if it explodes, now can you?”
Dr. Montgomery patted my hand again. Was she trying to imply something?
“
Just try to rest for now. I’ll get the nurse to bring some water for you.”
I lay in bed and waited. The situation I had woken up to was not the one I expected. No one was holding me responsible for Tyrone’s death, and I wasn’t going to jail. They didn’t even think it was murder…but maybe that made the most sense. I considered how it must look to an outside observer. There wasn’t a murder weapon. No bomb or hand grenade. Just a big explosion right next to a chemistry lab threaded with gas lines. It was the sensible conclusion, the only one that seemed remotely likely. That brought me to the next question: What the heck had I done? How had I managed to kill Tyrone?
Drug-addled as I was, I was loath to trust my own memory. That I somehow absorbed energy and discharged it made no sense. Physics didn’t work like that.
I frowned. This was one helluva puzzle.
I thought back to what it felt like—it was about all I had to go on. I remembered that as the rock came down, my reaction was automatic, more like a muscle reflex than a conscious act. All I had felt at the time was utter desperation. And what brought on that desperation? It was that horrible dark sensation: that silver
thing
that had wrapped its arms around me. As those silvery blades crawled across my skin, my instincts told me I was about to die. It was hardcoded knowledge, like the fear associated with dangling off a cliff. You don’t need to have fallen off one to know that it isn’t a good idea. But what had that strange icy scraping been? It arrived right around the time Tyrone committed to killing me. I remembered seeing a hazy red aura around him, and then suddenly that icy silver thing burst out of him and screamed death. Some martial artists claimed they could read an opponents aura and sense their intent before a fight even started. They claimed they knew whether their opponent had the resolve to kill. Had I somehow tapped into that information? Had I sensed someone else’s killing intent? I frowned. This line of reasoning was a dead end. There was no way to test that theory unless I convinced someone else to try and kill me—and that experiment wasn’t gonna happen.
“
Okay,” I said to myself. “You have an unconsciously triggered act brought on by a feeling of utter despair. But what the hell kind of reflex was that anyway?”
It felt like some sort of imprinted response to a clear threat on my life, and it was one hell of a fail-safe too. As best as I could tell, I had taken the kinetic energy of the rock plummeting at my head, collected it, converted it, and expelled it. Whatever I produced had obliterated Tyrone’s head and half the chemistry lab with it. The problem was I didn’t need a textbook to tell me that the energy put into the system wasn’t even close to the energy required for that amount of damage. The response was totally disproportionate. Since there was no conceivable way the energy absorbed was greater than or equal to the power needed to cause the explosion, I had two viable explanations to choose from: 1) The laws of physics broke down that Thursday afternoon behind Ted Binion High School, or 2) That rock I took to the back of my head had done more than just knock me off my feet.
I swallowed. It felt like chugging a bowling ball. I felt my bandaged head. It was starting to throb. The pain medication was probably wearing off, and all this thinking was tiring me out. The nurse came back in and gave me some water to sip. I choked down bit before waving her off. Just trying to stay conscious was exhausting. It wasn’t long before I dozed off.
+
I danced with vivid dreams throughout that miserable night.
Victor Newmar standing at the plate.
The wet thwap of the impact.
His crumpled body hitting the dirt.
The paramedics pushing Mrs. Newmar away.
And now I’m running through a hallway. Tyrone is chasing me with a bat. I try to get away, but my legs won’t move fast enough. He catches me, and we tussle on the ground. I end up on top. We struggle. I punch him again and again. I punch, and I punch, and I punch. Wet thwaps greet my blows. Rage throbs through me. The hate is so strong, so strong I can taste it. Every punch releases it. Exhausted, I look down. Tyrone’s face is gone, a bloody mess in its place. I take my red hands and wipe them across my face. My enemy has fallen. I can taste his blood on my lips. His body goes cool between my legs. Victorious, I arch backwards, stare into a burning sky, and cry out in ecstasy.
And now I’m in a stranger’s bed, tremors of that vacant thrill shooting through my body. Whispers in the corner. People talking. Groggy and confused, I strain to focus. Mustn’t make a sound. Mustn’t alert the voices. Slowly, carefully, I tilt my head. Three people stand in the darkness. I squint. Dr. Montgomery in her bright white coat. Two men in dark wool suits. The three are deep in conversation. I strain my ears to listen.
“
As I told you, Agent Collins, he’s a perfect candidate for eye-cam,” Dr. Montgomery whispers.
The man named Collins crosses his arms. “Medic, we really appreciate your efforts on behalf of the boy, but he’s simply not salvageable. He’s over sixteen and has zero control. The incident at that school was a near catastrophe. By the time we got there, the fire department was already puzzling over why the debris had blown
into
the building. We had to bring in Cerberus WIP teams to cover all the loose ends. By the gods, they were just a few hours away from a press conference.”
“
Ralph, normally I would agree with you, but can we really afford to squander talent right now?” asks the second man. “Talmax is on the move. We need—”
“
Masterson,” interrupts the man called Collins, “from what I can tell, the boy hasn’t even exhibited until now.”
“
Little surprise there, Ralph. He lives in this dust bowl. Water isn’t the only thing that doesn’t flow around here.”
Dr. Montgomery presses. “All I’m saying is you should give the kid a shot. He’s a bright one. I checked his grades—straight A’s. He even won the state science fair last year. He managed to enhance a yeast strain and harness it for energy. He can catch up, Agent Collins. I’m sure of it.”
Collins grunts and puts his hands in the air. “I guess I’m outnumbered. Very well, I’ll give him a shot—but Masterson, if he duds, I’m taking the cleanup out of your pay.”
Chuckling, Masterson says, “Yes, sir. But, Ralph, you can’t drain a stone.”
“
Complain to the Department, not me,” he grumbles.
The two men leave the room together, and Dr. Montgomery does a little fist pump.
I clamp my eyes shut as the she paces about, checking my lines and making adjustments. I can feel the breeze of her body as she moves. A faint eucalyptus scent trails her motions. Her warm hand touches my forehead. My whole body tingles.
“
Now it’s up to you, my little gem,” she whispers. “But do not fret, Kit will recognize your talents.”
Dr. Montgomery continues to stroke my forehead. I stay as still as I possibly can. Being touched is such a rare thing. I dread it might stop—but it hurts all the same. Her hand reminds of tired memories. She begins to hum a slow, mournful melody, beautiful but forlorn. The humming transitions to words, and she sings a lonely verse in a tongue I do not know:
Bayu-bayushki-bayu.
Ne lozhisya na krayu.
Pridyot serenkiy volchok,
On ukhvatit za bochok
I utashchit volesok
Pod rakitovy kustok.
A lullaby, perhaps? The sounds are as warm as the touch of her hand, like the last embers of a dying fire. My mind becomes hazy. I drift off again.
+
I spent the next few days in the same medical haze. The nurses came in. The nurses came out. I ate bland food and grew restless in bed. The Newmars dropped in to see how I was doing. Mr. and Mrs. Newmar didn’t seem so broken up over Tyrone’s death. After what he had done to their son, I couldn’t blame them. Victor didn’t share that sentiment. He felt awful about Tyrone. He said there was a memorial service for Tyrone three days after the blast—while I was still sedated—and that he had gone to pay his respects. Victor brought a copy of an article in the paper. It covered both the incident and the memorial service for Tyrone. The story gave the same explanation as Dr. Montgomery: Gas left on. Sparks started explosion. Ace pitcher killed. Other student seriously wounded. According to Victor, everyone in Vegas was talking about the blast. The news media was playing up the "life of promising young athlete cut tragically short” angle, and Tyrone’s service was heavily attended by the community. In a press conference, the baseball team’s coach announced that the team would wear black armbands in Tyrone’s memory…and in the very next sentence requested donations. It was good to see that Coach Casey was still keeping it classy.
Victor kept saying, “I can’t believe Tyrone died.”
I kept thinking, “I can’t believe I killed him.”
Despite that minor inconvenience, getting to see the Newmars was great. The past few days had been flat out bizarre. Spending time with them was grounding. It made my world feel less upside down. But the visit was a temporary respite. Once they left, I fell back into the same mix of guilt and doubt that had been plaguing me since I had first woken up. When I thought about Tyrone, I just felt numb.