This damn female is gonna make me crazy, but then again what’s new there? She’s the only one of her kind to have ever gotten under my skin, and shit didn’t look like it had changed much in the two years or so since I’d last seen her. I slammed out of the house and left before she made me lose my fucking mind again. She’d only been here a short while and already she had me ready to turn her over my damn knee.

Now wasn’t a good time either, since my brothers and I were dealing with some bullshit in the small town that we now called home. Shit had just taken a more serious turn, and we needed all our concentration on that. Not on annoying ass females who didn’t know to quit while they were ahead. I was so pissed at her, I forgot all about my brother Logan’s call. The fact that the others were standing around out there meant it was something big too. Oh well, too late, I was already half way to the cottage where the three assholes we’d caught earlier were awaiting judgment. The little scuffle I’d had down by the water had barely whetted my appetite; I needed to knock some heads together.

Part of me knew I was running from what had just happened in my bed, and part of me still had some shit to work off. It’s been a while since I’d been that fucking scared and last time had been because of her too. She was my weak spot no doubt about it, and it didn’t seem to matter that we’d been apart for so long, seeing her again had brought it all back.

All those old feelings that I swore to myself over and over again were gone. I knew as soon as I saw her again that I was full of shit, that I’d just been fooling myself. I’d buried my head in the sand so to speak, kept moving one day at a time, putting one foot in front of the other, but I see now I was really just going through the motions.

In life there was one man made for one woman and vice versa. The first time I met her I believed that wholeheartedly, and even after our separation, I still believed that shit. There was no getting away from it, she was mine and I was hers no two ways about it. It was as if the past two years had not happened, all the bad feelings in between had disappeared between her thighs. We had awakened something long dead in my bed just now. Something that I had thought long buried.

The memory of what we’d just shared, her over me, with her long beautiful mane trailing over my chest, as she took my cock, was imprinted on my brain, erasing the last memory I had, of her walking away. That shit still cut deep whenever I allowed myself to think of it, but for whatever reason she was back in my sights again and I wasn’t about to let that scene play out again. I assured myself of that fact for the one-hundredth time.

There was no force on earth that could take her away from me again. The last time had almost finished me off. I’d let her go for her own good, because if she’d stayed with things the way they were, I would’ve ended up destroying her or myself. At least that’s one of the things I’ve told myself over time, but there was a whole lot of other shit involved in that mess that wasn’t that easy to explain.

I’d run the gamut of emotions where Red was concerned over the years. From wanting to go find her and drag her back by her hair, to never wanting to lay eyes on her again. I’m not the kind of man you can say certain things to and she’d crossed the fucking line back then. It’s a given that things had gone down the way they had because we were in the thick of battle when she started her shit, and my hands were tied. Now she was on my turf.

She’s a brave fucking soul though I’ll give her that. Funny thing is, I’d talked myself out of going after her for the last time not too long ago. Something I never shared with my brothers, since I never discussed her, never mentioned her name after the day we split.

In a million years I never expected to be inside her again. When we’d parted on such volatile terms last time, I thought for sure that was it. I’m not big on second chances, I’m a hard fuck, but I’ve had to be. I’ve seen too much, been through too much to play certain games. It was the hardest thing I’d ever done in my life, letting her go. But at the time I was too fucking pissed to think about the consequences. I’d let my anger get the best of me and said some fucked up things that I couldn’t take back after she’d come at me with her bullshit.

My life is about discipline and order. One of the first disciplines I’d learned was to let my word be my bond. Vanessa is the only person to ever fuck with that in more ways than one. The only person to ever make me want to go back on what I’d said. I guess love would do that to you, make you fuck stupid. And what we’d had back then was the real deal.

Too bad no one ever told me that that shit could make you strong as an ox one minute, and weak as fuck the next. I wasn’t too big on love and its rollercoaster bullshit, but it didn’t seem like I had much choice in the matter, until she left and damn near turned my shit upside down. It was only after she’d left that I’d realized what it was the I held in my hands.

That my pride didn’t matter when held up to the love I felt for her. But by then it had been too late. Now she’s back and I have a feeling deep down in my gut that this time she’s not getting away.

I’d warned her once, but I guess she lost sight of that shit when my brothers sent out the call. Too fucking bad for her. I’d given her-her freedom once, no fucking way I was doing that dumb shit again. That shit had almost destroyed me. I’d gone into a downward spiral that had taken all my brothers’ strength combined to bring me back from the brink.

It had taken some time before I realized that I was on a suicide mission, taking unnecessary risks. It was only because those risks could’ve hurt my brothers as well that I had harnessed myself.

It was hard as fuck living without her. After only having her for a short time it felt like I was missing the best part of me. I faced death everyday, but nothing hurt as much as the loss of her. I was on the brink of madness more than once, questioned my sanity and my reason for living like never before. All the shit I’d thought was soft in others, I found myself falling into; and then out of that confusion bred hate. I waffled back and forth between hating her and loving her so much it fucking gutted me.

Back then I had promised myself never again, I’d never give a woman that kind of power over me again, and here I am, not even twenty-four hours since she walked back into my life, with her pussy juice drying on my nuts. It felt good as fuck though I can’t lie.

The feel of her was just as I remembered: that soft flesh wrapped around me the same way it always did, and drew me in. And it didn’t take much to have all the old feelings come rushing back. Feelings I’d thought long buried and forgotten were once again at the forefront of my mind.

***

Like the first time I’d ever laid eyes on her. It was the wolf whistle from some other fucker on the base, in the middle of the desert, that had drawn my attention. I remember the hot sun beating down on us as we were winding down from a drill in a bitch of a heat wave. I’d turned to see what all the fuss was about when the murmurs started after the whistle. Fighting men are part dog, part hyena, they’d howl at a fucking snake if it looked good enough. Especially when you’ve been in the middle of bum fuck nowhere for weeks, waiting for the action to kick off. I’ve seen less disciplined men pine away for the taste or feel of pussy. Me not so much.

It was her hair that caught me first. Either she’d grown too hot sitting in the transport that had brought her and the rest of her team in, or she was just happy to reach her destination in one piece, but she had taken off her head gear and loosened her braid.

All I saw was a rainfall of red trailing down to the top of her ass, and oh what an ass it was, fuck me. Then she turned and looked right at me and poleaxed my ass. No joke, I think my world stopped for a second or two. Quinn likes to say he saw the second the lightning bolt struck. He said there was nothing in me for five seconds at least, like I’d gone away somewhere, before coming back to myself.

He could be right, because I remember shaking my head as if to clear it, but not being able to take my eyes off her. Everything else went still; even the din of the men’s voices had ceased to penetrate. I even forgot I was in the middle of a war. All that was there was her. I was intrigued and pissed the fuck off at the same time. My brothers and I had a deal, no serious relationships while we were still in. We all took those things seriously, whatever we’d promised each other as men. But looking at her, I felt the threat. No other woman in all the years since we’d made that pact had come close to making me want. And I knew as sure as the sun was shining, that I was about to break that promise.

She didn’t only make me want after one look, she made me crave. I was already formulating the upcoming arguments in my head of what I was going to tell the others so I could have her, and I didn’t even know her name, knew nothing about her. None of that mattered though; all I knew in those first few moments was need.

It didn’t escape my notice that she too seemed have been stopped in her tracks, to be hit by the same phenomena that had struck me where I stood, as she stared back at me. It was only the intrusion of the noise around me that had snapped me out of it, and when I moved she started to blink again like she was coming out of a stupor.

I honed in on her like a wild beast on his mate’s scent, locked her in and caged her off from the other males that were there, with just a look. My body reacted strongly to her scent the closer I got to her, like I knew her somehow, but that couldn’t be, I would’ve remembered her. I didn’t say anything to her for the longest while, just stood there gazing down at her, not giving a fuck what the others in the camp must be thinking; all I saw, all that mattered was her. I felt a sense of calm come over me, followed by the need to mate.

I remember feeling almost desperate to get her alone, to get her away from all of those male bodies. Men who had been comrades a short ten minutes ago were suddenly a threat. I became aware of others vying for her attention and almost committed murder.

I wanted to take my piece and shoot the fucks for even trying, but common sense prevailed. I think they got the message to back the fuck off when I bared my teeth at them though, and they all fell back.

My brothers like to remind me of that shit too on occasion, well they hadn’t in a while, not since we’d called it quits. Back then I’d wanted the day to come to an end so that I could learn everything about her; and then I got pissed the fuck off that she was there, which made no sense. I hated the fact that this woman who had made me feel, was here in the middle of this hell. What her being there meant suddenly registered and I wanted to grab her up and get her the fuck out of there and back to the mainland. Back to safety until u could come get her when my tour was over. But I knew that shit wasn’t about to happen.

I’d heard the stories of the hot shot marine they were bringing in, hadn’t paid too much attention though, because what the fuck did I care? But everything I’d heard came rushing back and I hated all of it. I hated that she was good at what she did, so good that they were bringing her in to send her on special ops with us.

I hated that she was a beautiful woman in the middle of all these men when everything in me told me she was mine. I especially hated that her CO had a reputation for fucking his female subordinates, and rumor had it that it didn’t matter if they were willing or not. The very thought of it made me contemplate murder.

It was amazing looking back, how quickly everything had changed. In literally the blink of an eye I saw my life change, saw everything I wanted, with her in the center of it, and I didn’t even know her name. “Red.”

I reached out and touched her because I couldn’t help myself and the next words I said to her pretty much sealed our fate. “No one will ever have you again but me.” I never dreamed that she might me innocent, but I knew for damn sure somebody would die if anyone else ever came near her again.

She was the first woman I’d nicknamed in my life and the only one to have tied my guts in knots. I fell fast and fell hard that day. And in the weeks that followed, after I’d taken her cherry three days after we met, we’d been inseparable. Well as much as that was possible while on an Op.

I spent my days watching her back more than my own, with a ball of worry in the pit of my gut. And at night I spent what hours we had left ‘til morning light buried inside her. Trying to exorcise the worry and fear I had for her between her thighs.

I’d been like a dog in heat back then, we both were. And though I tried to shield her from the lascivious jests of the other men, it was no secret what we were doing, it was written all over our faces. Whenever we could find a dry place to fuck I would take her down. I don’t know if it was being the thick of it or what, I just knew that where before I’d been more than happy to go without, now I found myself wanting her every free second and sometimes not so free ones.

My brothers had covered my ass plenty back then, and it helped that we were on a mission where there was a lot of waiting involved. So while we waited, I spent as much time as I could buried inside her.

Back then it didn’t matter how many times I came inside her, I wanted more, always more. She was like my own personal elixir, a tonic that I needed at least three, four times a day.

Every free moment we had I was inside her, and she let me, never turning me away. When she bled and was in pain and I couldn’t have her, I laid beside her and held her close with my hand pressed against her tummy, willing the pain away. Three days later I was pulling her under me again, by then I had been ready to fuck the wind.

I’d taken the rubber off that first time after I’d felt her barrier on the tip of my cock. I’d never put one on since, and she’d never asked me to. Then again by the time I nibbled on her neck and got my fingers between her pussy lips she was too far gone to care.

It’s what I remembered most about our time together, the feel of her bare skin against mine, that and the way my heart always seemed out of sync whenever she was around.

She’d been my first and only virgin. And the only woman I’d ever taken bareback. She was also the first woman any of us had messed with that the others seemed to automatically know was off limits for the usual jokes.

No one even questioned the seriousness of the relationship, and after I explained it to my brothers they were very accepting of it. Maybe because she wasn’t the average woman that I would have to leave stateside, who knew nothing about military life, or maybe because they sensed that I would die without her, who knows. All I know is that from the first, I never wanted her out of my sight.

We’d been on one furlough together. I’d dragged her off with my brothers and I to a beach in Riad, away from the battle and the death and destruction. We’d spent the whole weekend in bed together until she was sore. Even then I’d licked her pussy until she wasn’t hurting anymore, just so I could fuck her again. Only stopping when she cried from the pain.

Once we’d tried playing tourist, but we’d lasted all of fifteen minutes before I was hustling her back to the hotel. I’ve never fucked anyone as much as I fucked her that weekend, not before and definitely not since. It was the only time we’d had together like that, before things had fallen apart not long after.

Because I couldn’t get over my fear of her getting hurt, not to mention wanting her away from this asshole that couldn’t keep his eyes off her ass and had almost caught my bullet. If it hadn’t been for Lo and Con I would’ve probably ended up in a military prison for the rest of my life because of that fuck. In the end I’d settled for kicking his ass once we were all back on domestic soil. I have Ty to thank for that, but that’s another story.

We’d argued and both of us had been out of line, and just like that, we had unraveled. The shit had happened so fast and been so unexpected I don’t think I’d believed it was real until the pain set in. I’d missed her so fucking much in those first few days after she’d shipped out, that I thought I wasn’t gonna make it.

If I were a drinking man I would’ve found my way to the bottom of a bottle. But because I wasn’t that weak, not to mention the six men I called my brothers were like fucking sentinels watching over me, I made it through.

I had to come to terms with a lot of shit quick if I wanted to survive. I was still in love with her yes, didn’t think that shit would ever change, but I’d made up my mind to live without her, even if it meant spending the rest of my life alone. That shit had been easier said than done though. There were plenty of nights when I’d plotted her abduction and all the other ways I was gonna get her back. Then my stubbornness would kick in and I’d say fuck it.

Now she’s back and I feel whole again. If that fuck Tyler ever got a gander at what was going on in my head in the last few days he’d be on my ass with his bullshit for sure. I find myself caught between smiling like an ass at absolutely nothing, and scowling into the wind. All with a fucking hard on that wouldn’t quit. Just having her near these last few days have been like a reawakening or some shit.

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