Authors: Katie Price

Tags: #Biography & Autobiography, #Rich & Famous, #Entertainment & Performing Arts, #General

You Only Live Once (23 page)

As the speeches went on I could feel myself getting more and more tearful. When it came to my turn, I had to brush away the tears and almost broke down, though typically for me I tried to joke about not wanting to ruin my lashes. But it was an emotional moment for me because I was surrounded by all my family and friends and the people I’d really wanted to be there. We simply couldn’t invite everyone because of the space, so the guests were those who were most important to Alex and me. It was a great chance for me to say thank you to all the people who’d helped put this great day together, from my mum and Alex’s, to my nannies, who are just brilliant, and of course my best friends Gary and Phil. In fact, it was talking about them that really set me off. They are such special people in my life, have both been through so much with me and always been so good to me. I really don’t know what I would have done without them.

After dinner it was time for the entertainments, and the night club part of the marquee was unveiled, complete with a stage, bar and dance floor. Alex and I had really gone for it and chosen all the things that we loved. So it kicked off with a West End cabaret performance, followed by violinists playing 80s hits on Swarovski crystal-studded violins. And then the disco began and our guests hit the dance floor and I was there too in my wedding dress, throwing some moves. It was such a brilliant laugh. The whole day had been perfect, exactly what we had wanted. Alex went to bed before me, but because we had so many people staying over at the house, I felt I couldn’t disappear so I stayed up as well. It was just a cuddle and a kiss that night, but I knew we would make up for it another time . . .

In the morning there was more rushing around as we got packed to go to Thailand. I wouldn’t describe the trip as our honeymoon as we were taking the film crew with us; it was more like a fun holiday. We intended to have a third proper long honeymoon, just the two of us, away from the cameras at a later date. As we drove away from the house I commented that I was sure I had forgotten something. We were halfway to the airport and stuck in traffic when I realised what that something was – I had left my fertility drugs behind. I was supposed to be starting a new cycle of treatment while we were away. But I wasn’t upset. It was probably for the best as we had been so busy recently with the ceremony that it would be better to wait a little longer until I felt more relaxed.

Our trip to Thailand was fantastic. We spent two very entertaining and eye-opening days in Bangkok, seeing some of the shows; then we flew to the tropical island of Koh Phangan and stayed at the luxury Rasananda Resort. It was a beautiful setting and reminded me of the Maldives because it felt so remote . . . that was until the paps tracked us down again and photographed us sunbathing on our private balcony. I tried not to let it get to me, but sometimes I felt as if I could never escape from them.

* * *

Right now, as I finish this book, I’m getting ready to move into a new house in West Sussex. It will be our retreat, somewhere completely private, where my family and I can enjoy life without the paparazzi trying to take pictures of us all the time. It had got to the stage where I didn’t even feel I could take Junior to ride his pony any more around the last house because we would be photographed.

The new house is much smaller than my one in Woldingham but it is set in 52 acres, and to me that land is more important than the size of the house. I’m moving all my horses there and we’re going to build a gym and a swimming pool. It will be a much more relaxed way of life for the children; they can play outside on their bikes, and ride their ponies, and we won’t have to worry that anyone can take a photo of them there.

Lately I have felt so hounded, that I can’t escape being photographed wherever I go, that I’ve reached the point now where I hate the paparazzi. To me they are nothing but scum. They proved it yet again on the day of our blessing ceremony and they prove it every time they follow me when I drive anywhere. They play this cat and mouse game with me where one of their cars will go in front of me and one will go behind, so I am stuck in the middle. It is unbelievably dangerous. I have told the police more than once about what the paps do, but they haven’t done anything about it so far. I keep saying that if I die in a car crash because of this, the police will be to blame for not helping me. I know that sounds extreme, but it’s how I feel.

I am looking forward to finalising the divorce settlement with Pete – it seems to have dragged on a very long time. I still feel I need to see him and talk about why we broke up. It sounds crazy but it’s been well over a year since we split up and I’ve only seen him twice, once when I dropped the children off and once when Harvey was in hospital. We’ve never discussed the argument that led to him walking out and it feels like unfinished business in my head. I would like to be able to put my side across then close that chapter, though I also know that nothing is going to change. But Pete was once my best friend as well as my husband, and to find myself in a situation where we weren’t even talking was a huge shock to me. I advise all women, however happy their marriage seems and however much in love they are, to be on their guard because they never know what could happen next.

Looking back, I do regret making my relationship with Pete so public. With us it seemed that work took over and our marriage became a business relationship, which was not what I wanted. Though Pete and I were in love and similar in so many ways, I think we cut ourselves off from other people too much. It was hard on me not being able to socialise because of Pete’s problem with me having a drink when we went out. Basically I don’t think any couple should be together 24/7.

I would like to be friends again with Pete but he seems to be surrounded by people who would be dead set against that. Some of them have sold hurtful stories about me, including my former best friend, and I couldn’t associate with anyone who had gone out of their way to hurt me.

This last year since I split with Pete has been tough. My children, my family, Alex and my friends have all helped me through what has been one of the worst times of my life. It has been a year in which I’ve been battered by the press, misjudged and lied about. I always bear in mind the saying that you cannot judge a book by its cover, and I’ve certainly never said that I am perfect. I’m not trying to be. I’m just trying to live my life, to be a good mum and a good wife, to enjoy myself. And I definitely want to have more children and get back on track to a place where I’m happy with my work.

Alex has been there through thick and thin with me, which makes me love him all the more and want to be there for him too. When the media turned on me and such cruel lies were being written about me, he stuck by me and helped me through. Alex accepts me for who I am. He’s like my knight in shining armour. He has made me realise what’s truly important in life. He’s so grounded. Fame doesn’t faze him at all, and in our relationship it’s not about which of us is the most famous. Our jobs don’t mean anything compared to the way we connect, our chemistry and the strong bond between us. Fame doesn’t last forever anyway. If I stop being famous it won’t matter because I’ll still have my children and a husband who loves me. Hopefully, everything’s in place for Alex and me to have our happy ever after . . .

And I’ve said this in my last two books so I’ll say it again: never underestimate the Pricey! (Oops, it should be Reidy! I’ll get my wrists slapped.) You only live once. And I intend to make the most of every minute.