Ynyr (Tornians Book 3) (11 page)

Ynyr gave Abby a surprised look, suddenly realizing that the color did not have to stay the same. True, while he had been planning on changing the shade of silver he hadn’t considered changing the color completely. Now he was. It would make a statement, a strong one that
his
House would be nothing like Bertos.

“It does not,” he told her.

“Good.” Carefully Abby folded the covering and put it back in the trunk.

Ynyr watched as Abby returned the covering she obviously wanted to wear, back to the trunk. It had been an instinctive reaction on his part to protest her wearing it. He wanted everyone to know she was
his
and only
his
, yet he had no other covering for her to wear. These coverings had been specifically made for her, so they would not be overly long. She would not slip on it as she had done the day before and she needed something other than his shirt to wear.

She should be demanding he let her wear it. Instead, she was doing as he wished, all because of his pride.

“Wear it Abby,” he told her hoarsely, reaching around her to pull the covering back out of the trunk.

“But… it will reflect badly on you if I do.”

“No, it won’t,” he denied placing the covering in her arms. “Yes, it is not something normally done, but that does not matter. Once our House color is chosen I will make sure it is all you ever wear.”

“You are sure?” Abby asked uncertainly.

“Yes,” Ynyr reassured her and was rewarded with a brilliant smile. One he knew would fade with his next words. “I cannot take you with me to Etruria, Abby. It is too dangerous right now.”

Abby’s smile faded and everything within her stilled. She had momentarily forgotten that Ynyr did not want to take her with him. He wanted her to go Betelgeuse with his parents. Where he believed she would be safe until he secured his House.

His House.

Not theirs.

Never theirs, not if she let him send her away now.

She looked down at the covering she had unknowingly fisted in her hands, a covering in the wrong color and realized it seemed to symbolize her life of late. Every time she thought she was doing the right thing, something went wrong. It was the way her life had been since her family had died and she had been left alone. Right now her mind was telling her that the ‘right’ decision would be to go to Etruria.

Lifting her gaze, she found Ynyr watching her intently. She knew he wanted her out of harm’s way but in her heart she knew that was wrong. She needed to be with him, needed to show him that she would stand
beside
him, even during the hard times. She needed to show the males of Etruria that not all females were like Risa and she could not do that if she was on Betelgeuse.

“I am going with
you
,” she told him in a soft but firm voice.

“You are going to Betelgeuse.” Ynyr told her in a hard voice.

“No. I. Am. Not.” While Abby didn’t raise her voice it was just as hard as his.

“You do not understand, Abby…”

“I do. Kim told me how bad things are in Etruria right now.”

“Then you should understand why…”

“Whose House is this going to be Ynyr?” Abby questioned.

“What?” Her question confused him.

“Whose House are you going to Etruria to build? Yours? Or ours?”

“Ours!” He told her angrily. How could she doubt that?

“It can’t be ‘ours’ Ynyr, if I’m not a part of it.” She tossed the covering aside and put her hands on his chest. “
We
need to show
our
males that House Rigel of Etruria is going to be nothing like House Bertos was.
Risa
was a part of that.
I
need to be there to show them that their new Lady is nothing like her. I can’t be left behind again Ynyr. I barely survived it last time.”

And Ynyr knew she was talking about how her family had ‘left her behind’ when they had died and she had survived. She had told him how it had devastated her. “I need you
protected
Abby.” He told her through clenched teeth.

“I know,” she rubbed understanding hands over his tense chest. “But how are you going to do that when I’m on another planet?” She answered before he could. “You can’t Ynyr. What if Lisa had been somewhere ‘safe’, like Torino when Luuken had attacked her? How could Grim have saved her? What if Wray had thought Kim would be safer in House Bertos? You can’t
know
for sure that I will be safer on Betelgeuse than with you. You can only
hope
.” She let him see the truth in her eyes. “I will always put my faith in
you
Ynyr, before anyone else.”

“Abby…” Ynyr stared intently down at her, did she truly understand what her words meant to him, that she would believe that strongly in him… but what she was asking of him…

“Let me be a part of it Ynyr, please.” Abby pleaded, knowing he was struggling with his sense of duty, his need to keep her safe and his need to have her with him. “Let me be a part of building our House and not just some outsider looking in.”

“If you go you will do as I say,” he ordered, trying to sound firm.

“Of course, as long as it is not too extreme.”

“Abby…”

“You can’t expect me to be able to help if you restrict me to our wing.”

Ynyr’s mouth snapped shut as he realized she was right. He may not like it, but she was.

“Trust me Ynyr. Trust
in
me. I am not a strong or brave female, I will do nothing to endanger myself.”

Ynyr just shook his head at his Abby’s words. She did not see herself as she truly was. She had survived them stealing her from her world. Survived Risa terrorizing her. Survived the farce of a Joining Ceremony and still she had chosen
him
to be her male. A male, who, while a Lord, literally had nothing to offer her but problems. Then there was her defending the Empress and the Princess with a blade… a blade… where had she gotten that?

“Abby?”

“Yes?”

“Where did you get the blade?” He looked for it and found she had dropped it with her covering.

“What?”

“The blade you defended the Empress with.”

“Oh.” Turning around, she leaned down and picked it up. “Kim gave it to me. She said I would need it in Etruria, if only for my own piece of mind. She and Lisa both carry one.”

“They do?” Ynyr had not heard that.

“Yes. Kim said a General Rayner gave her hers and Lisa has what is called the Raptor’s Claw. It is what she used to defend Kim and Destiny with,” Abby’s voice turned into a whisper, “when she killed Risa.”

“She used the Claw?” Isis couldn’t believe it. How had this remained unknown? The Claw was as much of a legend as the Raptor’s Heart that Queen Lisa had worn around her neck during the Joining Ceremony was.

“Yes.” Abby told him, not realizing she had shocked him.

“It will make you feel safer?”

“I…” she looked at him uncertainly. “I guess it would, if I was more comfortable with how to use it.”

“You seemed comfortable when you stood defending the Empress.”

Abby waved a dismissing hand. “That wasn’t anything, I just acted on instinct. I couldn’t let anything happen to Kim and Destiny. It would have devastated Wray.”

“What about me?” Ynyr whispered in a voice so tortured that it had Abby’s breath catching.

“I…” Abby’s eyes searched his in confusion. She knew Ynyr cared for her, she was the first ‘real’ female he had ever been with and you never forget your ‘first’. But while she knew
she
loved Ynyr and had told him so, he had never returned those words to her. She should be used to that…

“Do I not matter Abby? Are my feelings so unimportant?” He asked in a tortured voice.

“Of course they matter!” Abby immediately fired back. “Don’t act like I haven’t told you that!”

“Then how could you risk yourself that way!” A rage filled Ynyr that he hadn’t expected.

“How could you!” Abby demand back.

“What are you talking about?!!” Ynyr roared. “I was never at risk in that room!”

“What about in the Assembly!” Abby demanded. “When you put yourself in harm’s way defending the Emperor! Did you even think about
me
? What it would have done to
me
if you had
died
! I would never have even known who you
were
? I would have had to wonder for the rest of my life, why you never sought me out!”

“Abby…” Ynyr went to pull her into his arms, but she pulled away.

“Don’t! I understand what is happening here Ynyr. Understand and accept it, but if I am going to be a part of it, then I am going to be
a part
of it. The good and the bad. I am not hiding this time. I am never going to be locked away again!”

“What are you talking about?!!” Ynyr demanded, making sure to grip her arms this time.

Realizing she had revealed something of her past that she had meant to keep secret she tried to pull away.

“Stop!” Ynyr gave her a shake. “Tell me!”

“No! You have no right!”

“No right! You are my female!”

Abby heart clenched at his words. His ‘female’, not his Lady. She could hardly breathe for the hurt, to actually hear the words…

“Right,” she whispered brokenly, “your female. Let go of me Ynyr.” She pulled hard enough against his grip to know it would leave bruises before he released her.

“Abby…” Ynyr couldn’t understand the hurt he suddenly saw in her eyes and heard in her voice.

The ringing of his comm stopped the rest of his sentence.

“What!” He demanded impatient with the interruption.

“My Lord,” Korin’s voice came over the comm. “The ship will be ready to leave in one hour. When will you be arriving?”

“Soon!” Ynyr told him. Clicking off his comm he watched as Abby picked up the covering she had dropped.

“You need to go,” she told him in a voice totally devoid of its usual warmth.

“It will wait.”

“No, it won’t. It concerns your House.” Abby moved stiffly toward the cleansing room. “I need to cleanse.” Entering the room, she closed the door behind her.

∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞

Ynyr wanted to punch the wall as the door to the cleansing room closed. He had seen the hurt in his Abby’s eyes, but couldn’t understand what had caused it. Not giving himself time to think, he entered a code on the comm he still held and waited.

“What!” The disgruntled voice on the other end told Ynyr he had called at an inopportune time.

“I’m sorry to interrupt, King Grim.”

“Ynyr?”

“Yes.” Ynyr heard the shock in Grim’s voice.

“How have you upset her already?” Grim’s growl came over the come.

While Ynyr appreciated Grim understanding why he had called he didn’t appreciate his implication. Still he gave Grim his truth.

“If I knew would I be contacting you?!!”

“What was the last thing you said to her before she became upset?” Grim demanded.

It took Ynyr a moment to remember. “We were arguing about her going to Etruria with me, she said something I didn’t understand and I demanded she explain since she was my female.”

“
That’s
what you called her…
your female
?” Grim asked.

“Of course, for that is what she is.” Ynyr didn’t understand Grim’s question.

“Is that
all
she is to you?” Grim demanded.

“What do you mean?”

Grim could hear the confusion in Ynyr’s voice and grunted his displeasure. He was not a male that was good with words. He still struggled with some of the things he said to Lisa but in this, in this he knew he needed to make sure Ynyr understood. “There is a huge difference between Abby being your ‘female’ and her being your ‘Lady’, Ynyr. A ‘female’ is only there to give you offspring. Is that why you have Abby?”

“NO!” Ynyr instantly denied.

“Then you need to make sure she understands that.”

“How!” Ynyr demanded.

“By making sure she knows she is more than just a breeder to you. Earth females are used to dealing with things our females never have. Not even Lady Isis. My Lisa continued to love her Mark even when he became ill and couldn’t protect her.
She
protected him and their young.
She
ran their household when he could not. She demands to be allowed to do the same here. She is
my Queen
. She stands by my side, willingly accepting the risks and responsibilities that come with that position, as the Queens of old did. It sounds to me that your Abby wants to do the same.”

“But how do I… she could be harmed.”