Authors: Brad Boney
Ian reached out and smacked Mark on the head. “I’m Ryan now, remember?”
“Oh, right. Sorry, I forgot. Keep going?”
“I grew up surfing.”
“Have you ever been surfing?”
“No, but he’s from San Diego. I want his biography to have some classic California elements. I’m trying to build an archetypal character here.”
Mark patted him on the hand. “Oh, honey. Don’t you know what happens when you try to build an archetypal character? Nine times out of ten, you wind up with a twenty-story cliché.”
“No one’s ever going to ask me to go surfing in Austin.”
“Fine, but from now on, keep it within the realm of your experience. Otherwise you’re just begging to screw up. And if someone suspects you’re not who you say you are, things could get very ugly, very quickly. Capisce?”
“Now who’s the cliché?”
“When did you realize you were gay?”
“Two months after my fourteenth birthday. I fell in love with my best friend, Moondoggie.”
Mark bowed his head and groaned. “No. You cannot use the character from
Gidget
. I won’t allow it.”
“What should I call him, then?”
“Cleveland.”
“That’s a city.”
“It’s the name of the guy’s crush in
The Mysteries of Pittsburgh
. Your pop culture references need to be a little more obscure.”
“Who remembers
Gidget
? It’s totally obscure.”
“I said no, and that’s my final answer.”
“I have a question,” Ian said. “If the guy’s name is Cleveland, then why did Michael Chabon call the book
The Mysteries of Pittsburgh
?”
Mark sighed in exasperation. “Would you keep going, please? I don’t have all night.”
“Okay. I fell in love with my best friend, Cleveland.”
“Was he your first?”
“No. We never did it. A year later, I lost my virginity to Casper Middleton.”
“Sprinkle your vocabulary with the occasional ‘dude.’”
“I lost my virginity to Casper Middleton, dude.”
“He sounds like a cricket player, not a surfer.”
“He played on the varsity lacrosse team.”
“What position?” Mark asked.
“Goalie. I fucked him in the boys’ locker room after a match. Dude.”
“Fine, but remember, not everything has to be a scene from a William Higgins movie.”
“I’ll be okay. I can make it up as I go along.”
“Just don’t contradict yourself. Remember, keep it simple. No elaborate backstories.” Mark went through a mental checklist. “You have keys, transportation, and access to money. You should stay off the road until I get your new ID. Call Colleen tomorrow and tell her you’re in Phoenix taking care of Phyllis, but then give Ryan a couple of days to show up. That will make it more realistic, and it’ll give us time to go over your story. It’s best if you stay inside.”
“I can’t go to the gym?” Ian asked.
“Okay. But your gym is open twenty-four hours a day, so pick a time when no one else is there. I’ll bring in food and anything else you need.”
“How long do I have to live like a prisoner?”
“Ryan can arrive on Thursday.”
“That’s three days away. Why can’t I go outside?”
Mark threw up his hands, as if the answer was obvious. “Because Ryan’s story is going to be that he flew in on Thursday. What if Ryan meets his new coworkers on Friday and one of them says, ‘Gee, that’s funny, because I just saw you at the Hancock H-E-B three days ago.’ How are you going to explain that?”
“Okay, I get it. I’ll stay in the house.”
“If you want this to work, you must think it through and always be four steps ahead. Otherwise it’s certain to blow up in your face.”
“I said, I get it.”
“I’m going home, then. Will you be okay by yourself?”
“I’ll be fine. I’ll probably take a shower and order a pizza. I’m still hungry.”
Mark got up from the table. “I’ll call you tomorrow morning. Don’t do anything stupid.”
Ian grinned. “Maybe you should define ‘stupid.’”
CHAPTER FOUR
A
FTER
M
ARK
left, Ian went into his bedroom and undressed. He inspected his new body in the full-length mirror. All the artificial gym muscle he’d packed onto his torso in the last ten years was gone, replaced by a more natural tone enhanced only by running and tennis. His cock looked the same—that hadn’t changed much. The gray in his pubes had disappeared.
Want to know how old someone is?
Check out their skin
. His looked flawless. The partying and drugs he would do in his late twenties had yet to take their toll. Ian flexed his arms.
If I had known I was this hot the first time around, I wouldn’t have been so desperate
. The duality of his situation unnerved him. He looked twenty-one years old, but his memories of the previous two decades remained intact. He remembered getting fired from his first office job. He remembered the day he tested positive. He remembered when Adam Reynolds broke his heart. Both times.
Ian headed for the bathroom and shaved off his beard. He showered and stood in front of the sink. The transformation was remarkable, as if a Titan man had been replaced by a Corbin Fisher boy. He grabbed his phone and took some selfies. He uploaded the best one to his Grindr profile and changed his age and screen name. It would take at least a couple of hours for his new pic to be approved, so he got dressed and returned to the living room. Ian ordered a pizza online and then checked his DVR. He had several episodes of
Scandal
backed up, so he started one and stretched out on the sofa. Toward the end of the show, the doorbell rang.
Ian paused the DVR, got up, and answered the door. A good-looking young man about his age stood on the porch, holding a pizza and a twelve-ounce bottle of Dr Pepper. He had dark buzzed hair and gray eyes and wore a pair of faded brown shorts with a red Papa John’s T-shirt. “Come on in,” Ian said. “I need to get some cash out of my other pants.”
The pizza boy stepped into the foyer. Ian went back to the bedroom and rummaged through his jeans. He pulled out two twenty-dollar bills and returned to the living room.
“Nice place you got here,” the young man said with a heavy Texas drawl. “You live with your folks?”
The time for Ryan’s debut had arrived.
“No, I’m house-sitting for my uncle. I’m from San Diego. I just got here today.”
“Right on. Never been outside of Texas myself. Anyway, it’s eighteen eighty-nine.”
Ryan handed him the two twenty-dollar bills. “Can you break one of these for me?”
“No problemo.”
The pizza boy handed Ryan the box and cold plastic bottle. Ryan set them on the coffee table and said, “You know what? Never mind. Keep it. I’ve had a good day.”
“Are you sure? That’s more than a twenty dollar tip.”
“I’m sure. My uncle left me some cash to live on, so why not be generous with it, right? You can take your girlfriend out for a drink or something.”
The pizza boy blushed. “I’m not much into…. You know…. Chicks.”
“No kidding? Me neither.”
“Really? I just moved to Austin and don’t know hardly nobody. My name’s Sam, by the way. Sam White.”
“I’m Ryan Parker.”
They shook hands.
“I have two more deliveries in the car, so I gotta run. Would you maybe like to hang out sometime? Since we’re both new to town and all?”
Ryan smiled. This kind of thing never happened to Ian. “Sure. I feel guilty enjoying this place all by myself. My uncle has a Ping-Pong table and a Jacuzzi in the backyard.”
“Right on. Can I get your number?” Sam pulled out his phone and handed it to Ryan. It was the kind of cheap flip phone Ian hadn’t seen in years. He used the arrow keys to navigate through the awkward menus, added his name, and then….
“Shit,” Ryan said.
“What’s the matter?”
Ryan didn’t have a phone yet, so he keyed in Ian’s number instead. Mark wasn’t going to be happy about that. He would say the separation between Ian and Ryan needed to stay clean from the beginning and that exceptions would only trip him up in the end. But since it didn’t technically qualify as stupid in Ian’s book, he went ahead and did it anyway.
“Nothing’s the matter,” Ryan said. “I just realized I forgot to pack my charger. No big deal. I can pick one up in the morning.” He handed the phone back to Sam. “Text me sometime.”
“I’ll do that.”
“Cool. Well, thanks for the pizza.”
“You’re welcome. Thanks for the tip. That’s gonna come in mighty handy this week. I’ll text you real soon.”
Ian ate his dinner and watched a second episode of
Scandal
. Afterward, he stowed the remaining slices in the fridge and went to the bedroom to check his phone. He deleted a couple of junk e-mails and read a text from Colleen. Ian decided to put that call off. Then he opened up Grindr.
“Whoa.”
Sixteen messages.
Ian thumbed through the profiles. His policy had always been to respond to everyone, but clearly that wasn’t going to be possible. He zeroed in on the hottest guy with a face pic, HydeParkBttm.
Online
2 miles away
22 years old
6’1” 190 lbs
White
Muscular
Dating
Grindr Tribes
Jock, Discreet
Headline
be true
About
wanna spend the night, don’t bring pajamas
Looking For
Right Now
Ian tapped through to the message screen and read:
HydeParkBttm: hey stud
Ian typed back.
RynPrkr: hey
About thirty seconds later, the next message came through.
HydeParkBttm: whats up
RynPrkr: nada u?
HydeParkBttm: horny u looking?
RynPrkr: might be
HydeParkBttm: ic how hung?
RynPrkr: 7.5c
HydeParkBttm: u know how to use it?
RynPrkr: only one way to find out
HydeParkBttm: so u are looking…?
Ian sent him an old picture of his hard dick.
HydeParkBttm: nice! i love it when a young guy like you pounds my hole
HydeParkBttm sent a series of ass pics.
RynPrkr: looks good
HydeParkBttm: u clean? bb?
Ian sat down on the bed. He wanted to get laid, but not by guys like this.
RynPrkr: i’m hiv neg… but if you’re implying that poz guys are
dirty then no i’m not looking… at least not for you
HydeParkBttm: what’s ur problem dude?
RynPrkr: guys like you are my problem… and no, i don’t
bareback
Ian closed the message screen, blocked HydeParkBttm, and browsed his other fifteen options. A cute geeky kid caught his eye. Ian had seen his profile over the past few months but never dreamed he’d get a chance to chat with the guy. His screen name was Frodo, and from his pic at least, he even looked a little bit like Elijah Wood. Ian glanced through the rest of the profile.
Online