Xenofall (The Wasteland Chronicles, Book 7) (23 page)

Anna pointed toward another stand of trees, bearing white blossoms and large, red fruit.

“There’s apples, over there,” she said.

I left the plums behind and went to the closest apple tree. One of the apples was at eye-height, red with yellow spots. I pulled it off its stem, and took a giant bite. This time, Makara did not protest. The apple was sweeter and more delicious than I imagined, better than any apple I’d ever had. By the time I started my second one, everyone else had joined in, Makara included.

There weren’t just apples and plums. There were cherries, peaches, pears, apricots, oranges, and others beside. I had no idea how these trees were all growing here, but that wasn’t important right now. We were starving for calories, and they surrounded us in infinite supply. I feasted until I felt my stomach would burst.

After I couldn’t eat another bite, all I wanted was to sleep it off. It was hard to resist that temptation, but we had to continue on.

We made our way past the fruit trees and into a stand of evergreens. The forest floor was loamy and rich, covered in leaves, pine needles, and a thin dew that magnified the silver glow of the trees. The cool humidity collected on my brow and face.

Despite the calming atmosphere, I knew we couldn’t let our guard down. Maybe Makara was right, and eating from the trees was a bad call. I felt fine, but maybe that wouldn’t be the case later.

We went north through the trees. There was plenty of space to walk between them. Unlike the xenoforest, this place was airy and free rather than claustrophobic.

Through the trees in the distance, I could see the shining silver of the small lake. We made our way there, leaving the trees behind and finding ourselves standing on the water’s white shoreline. The pond was nearly circular in shape, as smooth as glass, a thin veil of fog clinging to its surface. The trees, also shrouded in mist, stretched around it. It was hard to decide whether it was a small lake or a large pond.

Whatever it was, I felt like we were wherever we were supposed to be. I reached out with my mind, trying to find the Nameless One.

I’m here,
I thought.
Now, answer me. How do we reach the Crater?

Nothing moved in the early morning light. It didn’t seem as if anyone had heard me. I stepped closer to the pool, inspecting it closely. The water was pure, clear, and toward the center of the pond, it went deep.

I knelt at the bank. The water was so still – if it were day, it would perfectly reflect the sky above. As I leaned over, I saw my face. Intense, brown eyes stared back at me, my hair shaggy. A bit of stubble covered my jawline. Where had
that
come from? The face was hardened, almost unrecognizable.

I touched the cold water, ripples spreading out from the point of contact. The ripples raced across the pond, dissipating somewhere in the center.

“Nothing,” I said.

Maybe I needed to actually
step
in the water.

I stood and began taking off my right boot.

“What are you doing?” Anna asked.

When both boots were off, I set them beside some moss-covered rocks.

“Going for a swim.”

I also took off my belt, which held my gun and knife. I set them beside my boots, along with my canteen and pack. I decided to keep the rest of my clothes on.

I was nervous, but knew that hesitation was the real enemy. When you’re scared to do something, it’s best to just jump in before doubt has a chance to grow. Many of the things we feel are dangerous are actually innocuous. It’s the unknown that we fear, more than anything else.

Only now, this really
could
be dangerous, but that feeling was the same.

Before I could even think about it, I stepped forward, letting my right foot slide into the still, cold water, followed by my left foot. The water was numbing, but I couldn’t think about that. I continued to walk into the pond, the bottom dropping steeply. It wasn’t long until it was up to my torso. I suppressed the desire to shudder, not allowing the uncomfortable feeling of cold to overcome my control.

I turned back, where everyone stood, watching me.

“Stay there,” I said. “I just want to see if there’s anything underwater.”

I paused long enough to take a deep breath, and plunged beneath the surface.

As I dove, I opened my eyes. The water was pure and clear; the only thing that made it difficult to see was the lack of light from the surface.

But deep down, another light shone. In an instant, I knew this was what I was looking for.

I returned to the surface, taking a breath and facing the shoreline.

“There’s something down there,” I called. “A light.”

“What is it?” Makara asked.

“I don’t know. Whatever it is...I feel like it’s what we’re looking for.”

“How far down?” Anna asked.

“Not far,” I said.

It wasn’t easy to judge distance in water, especially when it was dark. It was thirty, maybe even forty feet below the surface. That was a long way to dive. The pool at Bunker 108 had only been twenty feet deep, and I’d only dove down that far a few times – it was always cold, high-pressure, and dark. This would be even more so.

“Alex,” Makara said. “Be careful.”

I nodded. Before they could say anything more, I took a deep breath and dove.

The light shone from the same place as before. This time, though, I would reach it. I swam downward, feeling the cold and pressure increase as I descended. Even as the thin light from the surface dimmed, the light at the bottom grew brighter, urging me onward.

About halfway, I knew I was far beyond twenty feet. I’d never been this deep before in my life. My lungs burned for air, but I couldn’t give up; not when I was so close. The deeper I went, the more effort it took to move. The light was tantalizingly close, and was much farther than I’d first estimated. From the size of the lake, I would have never guessed it went this deep. I’d been down here almost a minute.

I knew, if I didn’t turn back now, I would drown. If I kept going down, I’d be too far down to ever make it back to the surface. If I continued, I had to believe there was something there at the end, waiting for me. With that realization came the panic.

Where are you?

No answer came. If there was an answer, it had to come from myself. Did I turn back, or keep going?

I truly believed the answer was there, with that light. I couldn’t give up. Not now.

I wasn’t turning back. The only way out was reaching the bottom.

At last, my hand touched the sandy bottom. Confusingly, the light seemed to still shine from below. I realized then that it was coming from a tunnel right next to me, leading directly down from the lake bottom. I had to enter that tunnel and swim straight down.

I didn’t have time to think about it. There was no longer any chance of my turning back; I’d never make it. So, I pushed myself down the tunnel, hemmed in from every side. I couldn’t have turned around even if I wanted to. I panicked, swimming faster, feeling my consciousness fade and blackness cloud my vision...

The light grew incredibly bright, like I was swimming into a star. I could no longer keep my eyes open. The water warmed. The burning was no longer merely in my lungs. It was on my skin. I didn’t know if this was the water getting warmer, or my losing all sense of reality.

It no longer even felt like I was in my body, but like I was floating into a dream. Suddenly, I was sucked down, as if into a vortex.

I couldn’t hold out any longer. I sucked warm water into my lungs, and it brought no relief to my oxygen-starved body. As the current pulled me along, I blacked out.

A
long time passed. I knew I shouldn’t even be alive, but somehow, I was still here. I could feel that the ground beneath me was rock. My clothes were still damp, but had dried somewhat from the warm air surrounding me. Though my eyes were closed, light found its way through the lids. I was wherever the brightness had been.

I stirred, every muscle sore. I put my hands on the rock below, pushing myself to a standing position. I closed my eyes tightly to shut out the brightness radiating from the surrounding rocks. From behind, I could hear the sound of water lapping against a shoreline.

I walked forward, holding my hands out. I’d only made it a few steps when a deep, booming voice spoke.

“Stop.”

The voice seemed to come from ahead, in the light. Its quality was ethereal, supernatural, and definitely not of this world.

“Where am I?” I asked.

“This place,” the voice said, “is the final preservation of Earth. Even should Askala dominate the entirety of this world – as she surely will – I will keep this place for my own sake.”

“Are you
Radaskim?”

“No,” the voice said.
“Radaskim, Elekai...
I am neither of these entities. I am the Nameless One, and my allegiance is to none.”

“You said you could help me,” I said. “That you had answers.”

“Sometimes, the answers are simple, but the questions are complex. And sometimes, the questions are complex, but the answers are simple.”

I frowned at that. Whether
Elekai, Radaskim,
or something else entirely, these Xenominds all had one thing in common – being unnecessarily confusing.

The Nameless One continued. “Answers have a tendency to lead to more questions. A desire for simplicity is natural in a world filled with chaos. On a thousand stars and a thousand worlds, countless eyes stared upward at the sky, seeking answers but finding only their reflections, as surely as if they were staring into a mirror. All races begin by seeking the answers on the outside, before realizing that they can only be found on the inside. Hide the secret of life in the stars, in matter, in numbers, and science will one day unveil it. But hide it in the heart, and you could search for infinite eternities and never find it. As we unlock the secrets of the universe, as we seek a final theorem, in the end we only discover ourselves, looking in the mirror, realizing that we are mere children pretending to be gods.”

The Nameless One paused for a long while.

“It is...haunting, to consider these questions,” he went on, “to seek the answers. Answers have a way of revealing far more than the asker asked. The quest for knowledge drives some to insanity, and the only freedom from that quest is to kill the curiosity within oneself, to become blind to all views, save one. Your own.”

“What are you talking about?” I asked.

“The truth. Ah, but what is it? The irony of seeking the ultimate truth is lost on the seeker – because it takes a special kind of faith to
believe
a final truth exists. The
Radaskim
believe in their own form of truth, believing it is the truth for all. This will lead them to destroy the universe and everything in it. They desire this simple answer from asking a complex question: why are we here? What are we doing? When it all ends, how can we stop it? The
Radaskim
seek to control the very entity from which they were formed: the Secrets of Creation, hidden within the heart of the
Elekai,
the very ones they are sworn to destroy.” The Nameless One paused. “It is terribly ironic, no?”

Even if I understood very little of what the Nameless One was talking about, he was right about the
Radaskim.
They feared the death of the universe and they wanted to stop it. It was a goal beyond all imagination or possibility. And it was what I was supposed to stop.

“How does that relate to what I have to do? I need a way to get to the Crater, but the forest stands in the way.”

The Nameless One considered. “It relates to everything. Who you are. What you believe. Those two things will determine the fate of the world. Askala will give you a choice, in the end. It will be up to you whether or not to accept it.”

“What choice? She won’t convince me. Not for anything.”

“Then you do not fear her?”

That gave me pause. I’d always imagined fighting Askala would be a gigantic, physical struggle – that somehow, I would have to physically defeat her. Instead, from the way the Nameless One was speaking, it would be a battle of the mind.

“What is she capable of?” I asked. “What will she try to do?”

“She will show you her vision, not just for this world, but for
every
world. Remember: she sees herself as the savior. In a way, she
is
a savior. The savior of this universe, this existence. The
Elekai
are the bringers of death. They would watch the universe disintegrate into nothing. Askala offers immortality. The
Elekai
offer a temporary dream.”

“But, destroying the universe to get that?” I shook my head. “I understand her perspective, but I don’t agree with it. No one wants to die, but we need to accept that. Even if given the choice to live forever, I wouldn’t do it. Something just seems wrong about it.”

“But the
Elekai’s
impassivity will destroy everyone, as surely as the
Radaskim
will,” the Nameless One said. “Is that not why the Eternal War is being fought?”

“There’s a difference between willfully destroying and just having things run their course.”

“True enough.”

“And whose side are
you
on?”

“I’ve already told you,
Elekim.
I am on no one’s side. My role is to stand for nothing, yet to understand everything. I watch. That is my role,
Elekai –
merely to offer every view and to leave no stone unturned. I give my help to all, should it suit my purposes.”

“What are you, exactly? You say you’re nameless, but that doesn’t tell me anything.” I paused. “Actually, that tells me absolutely nothing, as if you’re not even a person or a consciousness, or...” I shook my head. “I don’t know.”

“I am a composite of every thought, belief, creed, and memory that the Xenominds think and dream,
Radaskim
or
Elekai.
I know you, just as I have known every
Elekim
before. Yes, even the one you called Wanderer. And yes, even Askala herself, and those who came before her. I manifest wherever there are Xenominds. I cannot be escaped; I am a shadow cast by giants. As the giants rise and fall, so do I. My voice follows and records all the great deeds of Xenominds in the cosmos. My wisdom is free for anyone willing to listen.”