Authors: Wynter Daniels
“
Why didn’t you do it long before then?
Maybe the country club life is what y
ou really want. That’s not something I’m ever going to be able to give you.”
She brushed a tear off her cheek.
“This sounds really awful, but I'm going to tell you the truth.
There were several reasons. I didn’t want to hurt him and I didn’t want let my family down. Once I made of my mind I kept losing my nerve.
When I knew I'd lost you
…
”
She took a deep breath
, willing the tears back so she could get her thoughts out
.
“When I was sure you wouldn't have anything to do with me, I figured I'd keep dating him because then I wouldn't feel the void you left as deeply. And I guess I was hoping to make things work with him since I couldn't have you.
”
She sniffled
.
“I'm so sorry, Joe. I know that sounds awful and selfish. But I didn't see it that way. I do now.
”
She prayed he would hold her, but he didn't.
The phone rang
. She glanced at it
.
“Go ahead.”
H
e got up and paced the room.
She answered the phone.
“Hello?
”
“It’s me,” Cleave said.
Why now? “Hey
Cleave
.”
“Everything okay? You sound…preoccupied.”
That was an understatement. “I’m fine. But I’m in the middle of something. Can I call you tomorrow?”
He didn’t say anything for several seconds. “I guess so, sure.”
She hung up and
faced
at Joe.
He set his hands on his waist.
“Why didn't you tell him just now? Why didn't you say '
Cleave
, I can't see you any more?' Why not Renee?
”
She
stepped closer
.
“I can't do it like that. I don't want to hurt
him.”
“Seems to me you're pretty good at hurting people. Maybe it was a mistake to come here tonight.
”
He raked a hand over his face.
She
took hold of his arm
.
“No, it wasn't a mistake
. I love you, Joe. I love you.”
He
shook his head
.
“I love you, t
oo. I wish I didn't, but I do.”
She didn't know whether to jump for joy or cry.
“What made you call me tonight, after all the times I l
eft you voicemail you ignored?”
“I never ignored it, I chose not to call back. There was something in your voice lately, I don't know, I've been missing you so much
.
When you told me about the lump your doctor found, my whole body went numb. That was probably the defining moment, when I decided I couldn't walk aw
ay from you. I cared too much.”
She grimaced
.
“Yeah, well, I never should have laid that on you. So you feel sorry for me? Is that it?
”
Another torrent of tears threatened to invade, but she triumphed, swallowing hard.
“That's not it at all. When you have a scary moment like that, it gives you clarity. I thought of my
mother
and all the things she wanted to do with the rest of her life. All the living she still had in her when her life was cut short. And I thought of all I've missed by her not being around. I don't want to lose another woman I love.
”
He
pinned her with a hard stare
.
“Is everything ok
ay? What's going on with that?”
“I go for an MRI
in a week
. The surgeon said she didn't see anything that got her antennas up, so I'm feeling a
little
more confident. She also gave me some happy pills so
I'll stop crying all the time.”
H
e sank onto the couch.
“I'm sorry you had to go through all this al
one. Crying all the time, huh?”
“Honestly, it wasn't just the lump that had me in
tears. It was losing you, too.” She sat beside him and took his hand, a little relieved when he didn’t push her away.
“Do you want me to take you for the MRI?
”
His voice was barely above a whisper but held more strength than she could ever muster.
She sucked in a deep breath
.
“No. I don't want our relationship st
arting over with a pity party.”
“Renee, that's not it.
I'm concerned. I want to help.”
She
rested her head on his chest and shut her eyes, savoring the moment she thought would never come
.
“
Y
ou want to help? Make love t
o me. Please, make love to me.”
He
took her hands and held her at arms’ length
.
“As much as I would love to, I can't. Not until you're free.
”
S
he sighed, knowing he was right.
“
I can understand that. But will you stay here with me tonight? Will you hold me? Tell me
everything's going to be okay?”
H
is expression softened.
“I'll stay, but only tonight. I won't see you again until you've
…
until you're free.
”
True to his word,
h
e held her all night. She had the best sleep she'd had in weeks. He slipped out early in the morning, kissing her forehead before he left.
* * * * *
“G
irlfriend, you need to tell Perry Mason to take a hike,
ASAP.” Antoine handed Renee a cup of coffee as she booted up the salon computer Tuesday morning.
“I k
now, but I have to do it gently,” she said.
“
He works with my relatives and he's bee
n nothing but wonderful to me.”
“If you really want to win back Mr. Policeman, you need to understand that gently doesn't mean slowly. Your hottie-ass cop will not wait for that shit, honey. How many Barbie dolls do you think he has chasin
g him around this very minute?”
She scowled.
“He's not like that.”
“Wake up, Pollyanna.
”
He snapped his fingers in
front of her
.
“We're
all
like that because we think with the little brain. Until you kiss off boyfriend number two, number one is vulnerable to any old hot lookin' piece of ass ringing her
dinner bell in his direction.”
The idea of Joe with another woman made her shudder.
“You're right. I'll go to
Cleave
's house after work tonight and talk to him.
”
Her st
omach knotted
. How would he react? Would he throw her out, plead with her to reconsider?
Melissa
came
in and poured herself a cup of coffee before taking her seat at Renee's station.
“Morning.”
Renee joined her.
“So, let's hear more of the continuing s
tory of the days of your life.”
Melissa laughed
, a nice sound Renee hadn’t heard in weeks
.
“It's pretty much a soap opera these days, isn't it? The lawyer is still searching for a baby and I've been doin
g some research on surrogates.”
“
Surrogates?
There have been all these court cases where the surrogate claimed r
ights to the baby she carried.”
Melissa shook her head.
“Actually, most recently, the biological parents have all been award
ed custody, not the surrogate.”
“Oh. That's good.”
Chantelle
bounded in and set a large bag down next to her station.
“You have got to see what a bargain I got,
”
she said to Melissa and Renee. She rifled around in the
package
and pulled out a denim jacket with beads, studs and sequins swirled all over it.
“Isn't this gorgeous,
girls?”
It reminded Renee of pictures she’d seen of her mother’s clothes from the eighties. She
exchanged a glance
with Melissa.
“It's
…
bright,
”
“Colorful.
”
Melissa winked at Renee.
“I got it at the flea market yesterday. It was marked thirty-nine dollars and then they had a fifty percent off sticker on it. And I jewed the vendor down even more. I got it for fourteen bucks. Isn't that amazing? You don't think i
t's too chico-looking, do you?
Renee
cringed. “Would yo
u excuse me a moment, Melissa?” She
headed over to Chantelle, hooked her arm an
d dragged her into the kitchen.
“
Chantelle
, you managed to insult two cultures in one statement. That's a record,
even for you.”
“What are you
talking about. What did I say?”
Antoine walked by and looked at
Chantelle
's new jacket.
“Oh, Miss
Thing
, you must let me bo
rrow that jacket. It's divine.”
Chantelle
scowled.
Renee went on.
“Jewed is not a word. It’s an insult. Becky is Jewish and so are many of our clients. Chico-looking is also insulting.”
“I didn’t mean it like that.”
“There’s no other way to mean it. It’s an insult.” With that, she returned to her station to do Melissa’s nails.
After she’d finished,
Susan came in carrying a large box, which she set on her station. Renee watched as she unpacked a cross on a stand. Then she peeled decals from a sheet of them and stuck them on her mirror. There was a drawing of Jesus carrying the cross, a Christian fish symbol and a head of Jesus with the caption
‘
What Would Jesus Do?
’
Next, she removed a foot-high freestanding crucifix and put it on
the other side of her station then
carried the empty box back out to her car.
Becky
exchanged a worried glance with
Renee.
“Now what?”
Sh
e had a bad feeling in the pit of her stomach.
“It’s
going to be
one of those days.”
Zoey stopped
sweeping her station
and leaned the broom against her chair
as Susan came back inside
.
“Don't you think you should hang up some garlic, Susan? Migh
t as well cover all the bases.”
Susan ignored her and sat in her service chair.
Becky motioned for Renee to
join her
at Susan's station. “Susan, the three of us need to have
a talk in the pedicure room.
”
Becky headed back there. Renee and Susan followed.
“What's going on here, Susan?
”
Becky folded her arms.
Susan stuck out her chin.
“I don't know what you mean.”
“Yes, you do.
Let’s cut the bullshit.
What's with all the cros
ses and stuff all of a sudden?”
“I need to protect myself.”
“From what?
”
Beck
y’s complexion was turning pink, never a good sign.
“Evil influences.”
“Such as?
”
Renee asked.
Susan
burst into tears.
“That Zoey. She's a witch. She's sending pins and nails to stick i
n my skin.”
Renee
gasped. Becky buried her face in her hands
.
“Zoey is not a wit
ch,” Renee said. “She's a sweet young woman.”
Susan shook her head furiously.
“She's a witch. Antoine too.”
“Antoine is a witch? Wouldn't he be a warlock?
”
Renee asked Becky.
“No, he'd definitely be a witch. But he's
not
a witch.
”
Becky said.
Susan
’s sobs grew louder
.
Becky
grasped
the woman's shoulders.
“T
here are no witches here. I'm thinking that perhaps this isn't the right salon for you. Would you like me
to help you pack your things?”