Wrestling Against Myself (65 page)

Antonio found his legs were weaker than he imagined and had to use the table in order to push himself onto his feet.

“Do you need help, Tiny?” Mr. Waters rushed over and took hold of the crutches as the wrestler tried to steady himself.

Tony wanted to be indignant, to say no, he didn't need help and be nasty about it. He knew his frustration wasn't at the teacher, but at his inability to do something as simple as walking. He could feel the sweat dripping off his face as his arms trembled. He was afraid if he stopped propping himself on the desk his legs wouldn't be able to hold his weight and he would collapse. “Please,” Antonio finally answered the teacher in utter desperation as he fought the urge to let a tear fall from his eye.

Luckily Mr. Waters was a large black man who spent time in the weight room or Tony would doubt his ability to support him. Mr. Waters came alongside the teen and ducked under his arm and helped Tony stand erect.

After a few seconds, Tony could feel the strength return to his legs, but was still fearful to give it a try. While being propped up on one side, he slid a crutch under his other armpit and shifted most of his weight off his teacher.

As soon as Mr. Waters realized the teenager was on steady ground he helped him with the other crutch. “You going to be okay getting to where you need to go.”

Tony nodded and navigated towards the door that was held open for him. “Tomorrow this should be easier,” he said through heavy pants.

The teenager found that he lingered so long in the classroom that the hallway was empty. He made his way towards the gym, Coach Walker would be upset if he didn't make an appearance and he owed his coach at least that much. He made his way to the locker room, struggled with the door and then made his way into the
coaches’ office.

“There he is,” Coach Walker said lightly. “The prodigal has returned home.”

“Hi coach,” Tony said, drenched in sweat and not feeling up to the task of being jovial.

Coach Walker immediately picked up on the teen’s somber mood and dropped the act. There would be plenty of time to go into the well worn jokes he prepared to take his athlete's mind off of his troubles. Coach Walker stood up and made his way over to the teen. “I was worried about you, son.”

“Thanks coach. I was worried about you too.”

“You were?” Coach Walker said whimsically.

“Sure, who else were you going to get to wrestle heavyweight this year.” Tony tried his best to make light of the situation, but the way his voice cracked showed there was heavy concern that the upcoming season was in jeopardy.

Coach Walker put his arm around the teenager. “There are more important things than wrestling; you realize that, don't you.”

Tony nodded.

“I'm glad you made it through.”

“I almost didn't, coach,” Tony's voice faltered as he allowed the tears to fall. “They were too much for me. I wasn't fast enough. I wasn't strong enough. If it weren't for John showing when he did...”

For the first time since being attacked, Tony stopped putting on a brave front and cried.

Coach Walker wrapped his arms around the man. “But John showed up and the cops came. God's not done with you yet.”

Tony regained his composure. “I know. I guess I had an angel looking over me the whole time.”

“Who would have thought the angel would look like John Sharp?” Coach Walker let his athlete go.

“Sometimes people surprise you. I haven't seen John today.”

“He's been laying low since this happened. I think it makes him nervous when people view him as one of the good guys. You know he likes to put up that bad boy front.”

Tony nodded. “But we've always known better. I figured he would have made out a list of things he wanted me to give him for saving my hide, I'm sure my car is near the top of that list.”

“Probably. Don't be surprised if he gets MVP this year no matter how many matches you win.”

“If any,” Tony said glumly.

“That's not the Tiny I know saying that. We'll make it through this. If ever there was a person would bounce back and come back stronger and better than before it would be you.”

“Right now I feel like a giant bruise.”

“We'll take it slow. I don't want you pushing it, and this time I mean it. If I have to I will handcuff myself to you. I know you, the first chance you get, you'll try to push yourself and we don't need any setbacks if we want you ready for the first tournament of the year.”

“Being ambitious aren't you?”

“Please. Don't think I don't know you plan on making an appearance at the tournament at Countryside high. It's not in your nature not to do everything in your power to be ready for that first whistle. You have to trust me on this one and follow the plan the doctors put out for you.”

“You're dealing with the doctors too.”

“Yes, and we're going to follow their advice to the 'T.' I already had a conversation with Dr. Weinstein, he's going to evaluate you on a week by week basis until you’re a hundred percent.”

Tony nodded. “Okay coach. Whatever you say.”

“That's what I like to hear.”

“Do you think I gave Carl enough time to deal with all of that stuff around my car?”

Coach Walker nodded.

“I better not keep him waiting.”

“Tiny,” Coach Walker said seriously as he held open the door. “Don't scare me like that ever again.”

“I'll do my best,” Tony said as he navigated through the door.

Carl was standing by the car, waiting. The entire back seat was filled with notes, cards, stuffed animals and other various trinkets that were left behind wishing Tony a speedy recovery.

“What kept you so long?” Carl asked as he added one more large sign to the pile.

“Had to see coach. You know he would have been mad if I didn't let him know I was alright.”

“We're about done here,” Tracy said from the other side as she popped up from behind the driver's side. “You have enough stuff here to open your own gift shop.”

“I'll have to go through all of this stuff soon and make people know I appreciate it.”

“You should go with a big party,” Carl suggested. “Best way to say thank you is with food and music.”

“That's not a bad idea, but let me do it when I can get around better. Right now all I want to do is go home and take some medicine.”

“Wow,” Carl said in amazement. “Tiny popping pills, he must be in pain.”

Tony knew the comment wasn't meant harshly. It was well known that he hated taking medicine and often did without if he felt he didn't need it. “Any of you see Courtney? I figured she'd be waiting.”

“I saw her cut through the practice field on her way home,” Tracy said uneasily.

“She probably figured there wasn't enough room for her,” Tony said as he stared at the gate Courtney would have walked through to make it to her house.

“I wouldn't get my hopes up,” Carl said as he put his hand on Tony's back. “I think the Courtney ship has set sail for good and it's probably for the best.”

Tony was in no mood to argue. He got in the passenger side of the car and kept his thoughts to himself.  

Tony found he was able to get around school a little bit easier the second day, but it was still a chore. He still didn't run into John and hadn't found an opportunity to talk to Courtney either and he wanted to do both in the worst possible way. If he was allowed to drive, he would have taken a trip by each of their houses to have a conversation, but driving was still a goal for the future.

There was some debate if Tony should go to church or not. Though his mom wanted to err on the side of caution, the teenager wasn't going to have any of that. Luckily he convinced Carl to pick him up early so he could spend time with the youth pastor before anyone else showed up.

“I appreciate you taking me,” Tony said as he made his way onto to his crutches and steadied himself in the church parking lot.

Carl grinned. “You would've done the same. In fact, you would have put me on your back and carried me here against my will if I said no.”

“You can come up if you like.”

“That's okay. It's your time with Pastor Bob and he's looking forward to it.”

“Your loss. I'll see you during youth group.”

Tony made his way through the building and came to the stairs. He hadn't considered the obstacle until he was staring at it. He didn't remember there being so many. He put the crutches under one arm and used the sturdy metal hand rail to pull himself up to the second landing.

The teenager caught his breath and got back on the crutches before making it through the rec room and then Pastor Bob's office.

Pastor Bob lit up as soon as Tony walked into his office. He immediately put aside the paper he was reading, jumped out of his seat and pulled the chair out so Tony could sit down. “It's so good to see you out of the hospital.”

“I appreciate you coming and visiting me every day.”

“It was my honor. I wasn't sure if you were going to make it tonight and was planning on visiting you at home tomorrow.”

“I saved you a trip,” Tony said with a grin.

“That you did. How are you doing?”

“Still sore, still weaker than I would like to be.”

“Give it some time, it'll get better. So, how are you doing?” The pastor asked again

“I guess there is some anger and bitterness. I say I forgive them for attacking me, but, I don't feel like I've forgiven them.”

“That's understandable. You're still dealing with the aftermath and it's a constant reminder of how they hurt you. In time, the pain will go away and so will your bitterness. It's important that as long as you feel that bitterness, you own it and take it before the Lord so we don't give Satan a foothold.”

“I understand,” Tony said softly, feeling as if it was a shortcoming that he couldn't let go of his feelings against those that wronged him so. “I'm also worried.”

“About what? Getting better?”

“No. My body will heal when it's ready. But I'm worried about Courtney.”

“I've heard she's given up that name.”

Tony frowned. “She hasn't spoken to me. From what I hear, she's insisting on being called Corey.”

“Why do you think that is?”

“I don't know. She avoids me like I have the plague, so I haven't be able to discuss it with her. I find it hard to believe she is mad at me, but something is horribly wrong.”

“I never met her, so it's hard to make a judgment call. This whole ordeal must have been traumatic on her as well. Do you think she changed her mind about being female?”

“I don't know. It's confusing. It's like she's pushing everyone away and she's nothing like the person I came to know and love.”

“Perhaps it's a defense mechanism. A way to insulate her from being hurt.”

“I was the one who was attacked,” Tony replied impulsively.

“Yes, and so was she, through you.”

Tony sunk into his seat. “How can I fix things?”

“You might not be able to. But we know of someone who can, one way or another.”