Wrecked (The Blackened Window) (12 page)

He stayed for a while, periodically checking to be sure I was fine…not freaking out. It was sweet, but another huge departure from any other relationship I had ever had. When he left, he offered to drive me to school again in the morning, but I wanted to ride, wanted to have a clear head for classes.

Chapter Eleven

Xander

Jem,
Falling For You

She didn’t want a ride to school in the morning. So I gave her space, wanted to make her seek me out. But she didn’t. She didn’t text me or find me during the day. I saw her a few times, studying, ear buds in, world shut out. And I wondered if she was really reading or if she was running through last night—or if I’d completely misread her and she was done with me. Even though I wanted to make her come to me, I wasn’t about to neglect her safety for my pride.

I don’t want u riding your bike home after dark. If you stay to study, call me and I will pick you up—X

Was planning to study at home 2nite—L

Before I responded with some positive reinforcement, another text came through.

But thank u for looking out for me—L

A wide smiled spread across my face. She was starting to understand.

My pleasure—X

I stayed at the library to study for a few hours, because I knew if I studied at home, I’d just end up jerking off again, thinking about her. I worked on some pathology, knowing it would hold my interest better than any other subject I needed to work on. I had to eat something, but didn’t really want to be alone. I texted Jason.

Dude, where you at?

The house. What’s up? More women troubles?

What a dick.

No. Fuck you. I don’t gots problems. I’m bored and hungry.

What you want to do?

You wanna come into town? Some food then I’ll kick your ass a bit?

I’m getting in the car. Might kick your ass first. Then eat. Dick.

Then eat dick? New diet?

Right…fuck you.

I laughed as I gathered my shit and left campus. I stopped by my house and changed into my sparring gear. We met at a taco joint—scummy but yummy. As we were finishing, I got a text from Leda.

Hey, Boss, how was your day? Didn’t see u @ school—L

It was a good day. I saw you. What are you doing?—X

When did u see me? Why didn’t u say hi? I’m trying to study, but can’t focus.—L

I smiled and Jason threw a napkin at me, laughing. I’d had very few actual girlfriends in the past, so I think he was enjoying it almost as much as me. I’m sure it kind of sucked for him and Christy to have me third-wheeling it all the time. I sent a message back.

I saw you a few times. You need space to think about things. Why can’t you focus?—X

Just can’t. Thinking about a bike ride. What are you doing?—L

No bike ride this late.—X

A thousand warning bells fired off in my mind.
Umm… Hell no, girlie.

Eating now, but I’ve been studying, but can’t focus either. Going to my gym. Wanna come?—X

Do I want to come? That’s hilarious, ☺ but sure—L

Naughty, I like it. I’ll be there in 15 minutes—X

“I’m gonna go pick her up and meet you at the gym,” I said, getting up and clearing our table.

“I’ll call Frank. He’ll want to train. You’re gonna be too busy thinking of a bunch of different ways to fuck your girl.”

“I can mentally fuck her and actually school you at the same time, man.”

“Only because I take pity on you.” We both laughed, and he got Frank on the phone. He gave me a thumbs-up and I nodded at him as I left.

I was all kinds of stupid-happy, smiling on the drive over to her house. It felt too good and a small shard of doubt pierced me a little. I pushed it away, but knew it was my same old shit. I ruined everything. I’d ruin her too.

When I pulled up to her place, she came out to the car. I got out and helped her into the car, with a kiss as she passed me. She asked about the clothes I had on—the
gi
.

“I’m meeting Jason and Frank there, so we can spar some. You’re welcome to watch, or try it out if you’d like. But there are the usual gym things too, if you’d rather.” I kept the conversation light, didn’t want to push her right now.

“Don’t they have to work tonight? Isn’t this when the bar gets busy?”

“The bar is closed on Mondays, and Christy does the late news during the week, so Jason is home alone. We usually get together a few times a week to work out.”

The drive to the gym was quick. It looked crappy from the outside, but it was an old boxing gym, with newer martial arts stuff. I liked that the people who worked out for show, who went to the gym to be seen rather than actually better themselves, would never be seen there.

We paused near the entrance as she took the space in. Frank came in shortly after us.

“Hey, guys! Xander, thanks for letting me work in with you and Jason. I really like this stuff!”

I smiled and shook his hand.

He turned to Leda, “Hi, Leda.” The two of them standing together was hilarious. She looked so tiny next to him.

“Hey, Frank, how are you?” She smiled up at him.

Before he answered, Jason came through the door, loud and stupid like always. “Hey, kids! How’s life?” He shot me a look of amused challenge and grabbed Leda in a bear hug, smiling down at her. “Hey, kid, how are you doing? Christy says hi.”

Just as my possessiveness began to get wound up, he released her. He was still half-hugging her, but my tension ebbed a little.

“She
really
liked hanging with you this weekend.” He looked back at me, laughter in his eyes. He recognized that he was tripping my triggers, which just made him laugh a little more. “Relax, man! Jesus, I’m saying hello. Settle down.”

I grabbed her, pulling her away from Jason. I held her to me, facing them, so she couldn’t see how much Jason was ticking me off. I dropped my lips to her ear and told her where the machines were. “Why don’t you work out for a bit and then come over to the mats and I’ll show you some Jiu Jitsu.”

Jason and Frank just watched, amused. She nodded and walked toward the treadmills.

As soon as she walked away, I snapped my arm out at Jason, leaving my fingers in a sharp spike as I connect with the soft spot right above his armpit.

“Ouch! Christ, man, settle down. I get it. She’s not for sharing. Understood.” Frank laughed.

“Damn right, she’s not for sharing. Don’t fucking test me, man.”

Jason put his hands up in mock innocence as we got to the mats. I smirked a smile at him as I rushed him. He anticipated me and grabbed my shirt as he sideswiped my legs and rolled onto his back, taking me down with him. He let our momentum ride and flipped me over. I bridged up to try to drive him off me, but he dropped his weight on my chest. When I grabbed at him, trying to lock him up, he grabbed my arm and pulled it through to flip me onto my stomach, locking me in a rear-naked choke hold. I was fucked. I slapped the mat twice and he let go.

“Can you settle down now?” Jason asked me and it just pissed me off again.

“Fuck you.”

“What is the fucking problem, Xander?” He never actually used my name unless he was bothered by something.

I took a deep breath, sitting up on the mat. “Jason.” I looked at him, all my anger burned away. “I’m fucked over this girl. And I know I’m gonna fuck it up. I know I’ll end up hurting her. But I can’t fucking think about anything but her. I just want to be around her.”

He looked at me with doubt. “You just want to be
around
her? I doubt that.” Even though I smiled a little miserable smile at him, he continued, “Now you know, man. It’s a terrifying thing to have what you want. I get you. And if you don’t want to fuck it up, don’t. Nothing is preordained.”

He knew me and knew the right things to say. I took another breath. “All right, sorry about all that.” I gestured at the mat and he knew what I meant. “Show me that take down. That was awesome. I was midway in the air wondering what the fuck happened?” I laughed now, stress dissipating.

“It works better with the
gi
on,” Jason said and we got our gear on. He was a green belt and I was a yellow belt. We were actually pretty matched—he had more technical skill than me, but I didn’t give a shit if I got hurt and would come at him harder than most other people in our class.

Frank and I practiced the take-down. Throwing him was easy once I directed his bulk and each time I came up laughing after he tapped. His throws were clumsier, owing to his beginner, white belt status. After a few turns through the new technique, Frank and I squared off, with Jason coaching him from the side of the mat.

“Frank, wrap him up in an arm-bar.” Jason yelled, but I’d already moved. “There, now! Get his lead arm!”

Frank reached for me and I moved, slipping around to his side. When he lurched toward me again, I rolled him and grappled my way to his back, locking him up in the same rear-naked choke that Jason had gotten me with at the beginning of our session.

When we stood, Leda was there at the edge of the mat, face wrinkled in concentration, not really understanding what we were doing. Wet tendrils of hair stuck to her neck and I flashed to licking sweat off her neck in a very different venue.

“Hey, girlie, how was the treadmill?”

“Long and boring, but this looks like fun.” She smiled at me.

“Yep, you want to try some?” She nodded and walked over to me. “Okay, lay down on your back. I want to show you something.” She laughed and I acknowledged that it sounded dirty, but she lay down and I climbed over her, straddling her abdomen, thinking of last night. “So, in this position, you don’t have any control over me, so I want you to get out of this.”

She paused then got a look of determination on her face and started squirming, trying to scoot away from me. “No, that won’t work, Leda.” I just shifted my hips with her gyrations and stayed on her. She flopped down under me. “Here. I want you to plant your feet and rock one way. When you do that, push my knee away with your hand.” I guided her hands once and let her try. She must have been a little annoyed because she pushed hard and I fell forward onto her.

She laughed. “I feel like this might not actually be Jiu Jitsu, but some other thing that involves you on top of me.”

I smiled at her, but still guided her through the movements. “That’s called breaking my guard. Now, get your other leg through.”

She did and I was in between her legs. She laughed again, “So, strategically, this doesn’t actually seem safer to me.”

I smiled and chuckled. “It may not feel safer, but it actually does give you more control. Now, you can control my body, right? Just lock your legs around my hips and see if you can move me.”

She had the giggles and didn’t get it yet, but she wrapped her legs around my torso. I felt them tighten as she hooked her ankles together and flexed. She started flexing her body, twisting a little from side to side, and I rode it.

She paused and I said, “So, from here, you could flip me and get on top, the position I was in when we started, or you could choke me out.”

She stilled and got serious. “Okay, how do I choke you from here? Just with my hands?”

She reached up and I resisted my instinct to grab her and flip her over. Instead, I held her wrists and guided her hand to my arm. “No, I want you to grab one of my arms, pull it close to you. Now, slide your opposite leg up over my shoulder.”

She moved according to my directions.

“Now, lock your legs again, shoulder-leg foot hooked under your other knee.”

She got herself switched around and flexed her hips, flopping me down, my face on her tummy.

“Harder than that, Leda. You want to choke me, not just grind your pussy into my sternum.” It was harsh, but I wanted her to get this.

She flexed much harder and instinctively pulled my arm harder to her. I felt it lock out my shoulder and my air start to get tight. I let her feel it for a moment, then slapped the mat. “Okay—let go, ugh.”

She released her legs and I took a beat still resting on her, more because I wanted to be close to her than actually needing it, but sat up shortly.

“You did it. That’s how you choke someone who gets on top of you.” I winked and added, “If you don’t want them there.”

Jason and Frank were watching and Jason yelled, “Nice work, kid. Gotta keep this fucker in line.”

I laughed and jumped up for some water.

She followed me and took a sip, then said, “I probably need to get home, Xander. Wouldn’t want to miss my bedtime.” And she stuck her tongue out at me.
Brat.

I walked closer to her and paused just as I was passing her, resting my hand on her stomach, where I had first touched her last night, and said, “Naughty girl, did you want more punishment? That can be arranged, you know.”

She giggled, sexy and cute, then smiled—all innocence. It just made me want to use her. I grabbed our bags and we walked to the car. I held the door so I could watch her ass in her little yoga pants. I was falling for her, falling into her.

The drive was quick and we talked about school some. I didn’t want to get anything started since it was late. At her building, she invited me up, but I didn’t go. “It’s your bedtime and we have school tomorrow, baby girl.”

I dropped a kiss on her forehead, soft and sweet.
Fuck this purity shit.
I stepped farther into her space and grabbed the back of her neck, holding there, tilting her head to one side. I leaned over and put my mouth on her neck, right where that sweat had been and, as she sighed into it, I bit down hard. She gasped and, before she could protest, I closed her mouth off with my lips, letting her feel my banked heat, letting her taste her own sweat on my lips. My tongue was in her mouth, tracing her teeth, licking her lips. I pulled away, with no warning.