Wreck Me (23 page)

I have been in his bed the whole time. All work on the store has halted since Sutton’s death. Damon insisted that I not worry with the project. So I haven’t. Being in the store hurts in a way that steals the air from my lungs, and makes me want to double over. I’m so fucked up.

“Baby?” Damon walks into the room with a glass of orange juice in his hand. I hold Hemingway to me and roll from my side to face him. My easy going pup doesn’t mind in the slightest.

“I love you Hemingway,” he licks my chin and I get a whiff of his sweet puppy breath.

“Hey beautiful.” I scoff at his compliment. I am nowhere near beautiful right now. I’m pasty and have not a bit of makeup on and I am in sweat pants and a camisol.

“Not beautiful.”

“Always beautiful to me and my opinion is the only one that counts.” I smile sweetly at my big man and wish like hell I was not so damn screwed up right now.

“I’m sorry,” I mumble as I absentmindedly stroke Hemingway’s fuzzy coat.

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I’m not being very fair to you.” The bed dips as Damon crawls in and scoots to my side. He lays on his side fully dressed in his usual slacks and dress shirt. His warm honey eyes watch me closely. Two rogue tears escape my eyes and he is quick to brush them away.

“Listen to me. You’re the most important person in my life. You’re hurting right now, and you need me. Nothing makes me happier than knowing that you need me. It makes me feel important, and…l-loved.” He stammers out the L word and my heart stills then swells with more love than I could ever express to him. It may be the emotional train wreck that Sutton’s death has made me. Or maybe this is just what falling for someone does to you. I have tried to decipher this puzzle for a week solid. I met him and I started feeling, and crying a lot, and wanting, and smiling, and a whole host of shit that I never did before. I even have a sweet little puppy that I love and spoil to pieces.

He looks at me, and that sheepish expression is in place making my emotions spiral out of control. More tears seep from the corners of my eyes and I can tell he is feeling nervous about mentioning the L word.

“I have been thinking about it and I want you to see a doctor. You’re depressed. I’ve already set it up. You see him starting tomorrow morning.”

“I love you,” I confess in a voice that matches his sheepish expression. It’s small and weak, but no less powerful. His eyes slowly slide closed. He draws in a deep breath as if he has been holding it. He leans in and cups my face with his big hands. His lips press to mine tenderly. He kisses me with passion and longing and a relief that is palpable. If a kiss could say what he feels, this one is screaming
I love you
.

“Again,” he says softly with his eyes still shut. I’ll do as he says. I’ll repeat it. I could say it a million times and never tire of telling him.

“I love you.” That time my voice was more confident. He draws in another deep breath as if he is soaking up my confession. It’s beautiful and raw, real and ours. All ours.

He slides across the bed and stands with his back to me. What in the world is he doing I see him bow his head. He unbuttons his shirt and slips it off. His pants meet his shirt on the floor. He turns and faces me. His amber eyes have an all new look in them. They are warm and intense and loving. I can look into those eyes and see the depths of what my big man is feeling. He crawls back to me in the bed and remains silent while he sets little Hemingway in his puppy bed on the floor. I peek over the side of the bed and see that the spoiled pup has plopped down and is right back asleep.

Damon leans in and kisses me chastely before tugging the camisol over my head and tossing it to the floor. His fingers slip into the waist band of my baggy sweat pants and free my legs. Since panties and a bra have become a nuisance I stopped wearing either to bed. It only equals more work for my big man. I lay before him completely bare. He scoops my legs up behind my knees and spreads me wide to him. His cheeks stain a light pink hinting at his arousal. I know that mine mirror his. I can feel the subtle heat on my face. My body hums with anticipation as I watch him pull off those snug fitting gray boxer briefs. His erection in all its glory springs free. It bobs heavily in my direction. My mouth waters to take him deep and have his taste on my tongue. His palms rest on my bent knees.

“Again,” he orders and I oblige the man I have fallen for so completely.

“I love you.” He looks almost in pain as I profess my love to him. I watch his chest rise and fall with each deep breath that he draws in. He slides down to lay on his stomach between my thighs. His soft lips land on the sensitive inner part of my thigh causing my legs to tremble. His warm hands stroke down my legs soothing away the trembling as he goes. His lips travel up my leg and past my center to land on my stomach just below my navel.

“Again,” he mumbles with his lips pressed to my skin. His warm breath assails my skin and makes my core tingle and tighten.

“I love you.” He groans as I repeat myself again. His hands skim up my body. His face levels with mine and those amber eyes dig into me. He holds my gaze for a long moment. The wide, heavy tip of his cocks butts against my slick opening. Pure heat has collected low in my stomach waiting for him to take me. My legs drop wider as my body opens to accommodate his hips. He settles in between my thighs. He brushes back strands of loose hair from my forehead. He thrusts forward just enough to breach the tip past my wet lips. My eyes shut while I wait for him to make love to me for the first time.

“Again.” He demands in a firm voice. I can tell that it’s taking everything he has to restrain himself.

“I l-love…” As I try to say the words he rams into me, stealing my breath and the words from my lips.

“Say it,” he growls as he stays perfectly still buried in me to the root.

“I love you, Damon. I love you more than anything in this world!” A tear slips from the corner of my eye. He brushes it away with his thumb then threads his fingers with mine and stretches them out high above my head.

“I couldn’t possibly love you any more than I already do. Josephine, my heart resides with you forevermore.” He remembers the quote on the back of my mother’s watch. The same quote my father said to my mother. My heart squeezes painfully and I swear I could die of contentment.

“Oh, Damon,” I croak out as more tears escape my eyes.

“Don’t cry baby.” He moves his hips back, withdrawing himself to the very tip then eases forward slow and deep. I feel the tip of him bump against the deepest parts of me. He leans down to bury his face in my hair splayed out on the bed. I turn my head to nuzzle his neck. His movements remain slow, steady and deep. Tears still roll from my eyes as he makes slow love to me. I prop my legs as high as I can manage, allowing him the deepest access. His speed increases fractionally and I know we are both on the verge of climax. He pants heavily in my ear. I arch into him as the building tsunami of pleasure prepares to inundate me.

“Ah, don’t stop. Don’t stop!” His speed increases even further and one hand releases mine and grips my hip tightly as he continues to drive into me with building speed and force. The momentum with which he pushes into me is all-consuming. Breath taking. My toes curl, my core tightens, a momentous build of energy peaks and crashes down. My body spasm and bucks hard as my channel clenches hard around Damon’s cock. He thrusts into me over and over then stills while sheathed to the root. I feel his cock twitch and jerk. He spills his release into my depths then collapses on me. He releases my other hand and I wrap my arms around his. I brush his back with the pads of my fingers and feel as his breathing slows and his heart rate returns to normal.

“Say you’ll stay with me. No matter what.” His muffled demand comes off as more of a request. Why would he say something like that in that way? There would be no way I could leave. Ever. I am completely and irrevocably his. No other man could hold a candle to the way I feel about Damon.

“I could never go back to life before you. You’re all I want. You’re all I need. I’m not going anywhere. Ever. You’re stuck with me handsome.” I can feel his lips turn up into a smile against my neck. He withdraws from me and remains resting half on me, half on the mattress.

“Even if it takes the rest of my life, I swear to you, I’ll make you forget every bad thing that has ever happened to you. We’ll make happy memories that will outweigh the sad ones ten-fold. I live to make you smile, Josephine.”

“Well I’d say you’re off to a great start, big man.” I thread his hair through my fingers and lightly tug.

“Good. That means this next part will be easier.” He props himself up on one elbow. The mischievous grin on his face speaks volumes and I slant my eyes at him suspiciously.

“Uh-oh.” He puts up a hand to postpone my pending rebellion. I may be in love with him and looking forward to spending my every waking moment with him, but I still refuse to take shit off of anyone. Like Grams says. If that were the case, I’d be better off named Toilet Paper.

“I have decided that you’re moving in with me. Officially. Your apartment is being packed as we speak.” He chances a look at me and I see the worry flicker in those honey eyes of his. Aw hell. I can’t leave him hanging like that. On the inside I am feeling like someone just opened the drapery to my world and let in some light. I love the idea of officially living here. I can’t imagine being anywhere else.

“But, before you go and begin throwing a fit, you should realize a few things. This subject is simply non-negotiable.” He shrugs and holds up his hands with fingers popping up to tick off each one of his points.

“I am your boyfriend. I love you. I worry about you. I am horny almost always, and you are too. I think you’re going through a depression, and you need me. You haven’t stayed at your place not even once in a month. Then, there’s Hemi. I wouldn’t want to get into a nasty custody battle with you, Josephine, but don’t test me.” He winks after the last bit and I roll my eyes.

“He loves me more.” Damon clutches his chest dramatically earning a laugh from me.

“That’s because you’re the mom. Everyone knows the kids always love their mommies a little more. You spoil the shit out of him too.” His accusation has me feigning being aghast. I absolutely spoil Hemingway, but that’s my job. I love him too much to not spoil him.

“Fine. Since it is non-negotiable and all.” He beams a panty obliterating smile at me and I am sure I visibly wilt before him. If heaven exists then I am sure this must be it.

“Are you having any thoughts of harming yourself or others?” I narrow my eyes on the schmuck sitting across from me. I’m not fucking suicidal. I’m grieving. That’s it! I don’t think I may hurt myself, but if he asks one more irritating question I may contemplate bashing him over the head with that damn leather bound notebook.

“No,” I clip out. He watches me like the shrink he is and jots something down on the pad in his lap.

“You know, taking notes about me is really pissing me off. So save your fucking note taking for later. Okay?” I slap my palm down on the arm of the chair he sat me in. This is ridiculous. I was all for the idea of seeing a doctor, but I didn’t think it would be like this. He is agitating me. He’s a nice looking older man, but his lack of response to me is beyond frustrating.