Mike’s gaze wandered to the ticket. “Things have moved very fast between us. Maybe slowing things down would better. Give you time to—”
“I don’t need time. I know what I want. You.”
He kept staring at the ticket. “I don’t want you to feel trapped. To feel like you have no other option.”
“You’re being dumb.” Probably not the best choice of words. “Considerate as hell, but still dumb.”
Mike finally looked at her. “I came this close”—he measured a minute distance between his thumb and forefinger—“to killing a man today. Do you really want to be saddled with someone that unpredictable?”
“It would have been unpredictable if you hadn’t felt that way. Ask the guys what they would have done. If they’re honest, they’ll say the same thought would have crossed their minds. I know it would have mine.”
His gaze returned to that damn lottery ticket. “I won’t sign it. I want you to have choices.”
“The money bothers you,” she said.
He finally looked at her. “It’s a hell of a lot of money. There are adjustments neither of us considered. Adjustments and changes I’m not sure…” He pulled in a hard breath, then let it out. “Let’s just say, I understand how Betty felt.”
“Yeah, me too.”
“I need it to be your money. I need you to have that security, to know that you had a choice.”
“But, Mike”—she pressed her hand to his knee—“I’ve made my choice, and you’re taking it away from me. I’d rather destroy that ticket than let it come between us.”
“Now who’s being dumb? If you think I’m going to let you—”
Erica laughed. “
Let me?
What about me having a choice?”
He twisted in his seat and grasped her hands. “Sweetheart, you could do great things with that kind of money.”
She squeezed his hands. “
We
can do great things with it.”
He shook his head. “I won’t sign it. I won’t take your money. I won’t make you feel trapped. I won’t be like Keith. Please, Erica. I need this. I need to have at least this much control right now.”
Because he’d almost lost control today or felt like he had. It was hell when a hero realized he was human. Erica didn’t know how else to assure him except to do as he asked.
“All right, Mike. I’ll put it in the safe.” She released his hands and put the ticket back in her purse.
“I’m going to need some space while I process all this,” he added.
“Wow, so much for communication.” A light blinked on behind his wide eyes. Erica went in for the kill. “Not as easy as you thought, is it? I appreciate you’ve learned you actually have a dark side and it scares the hell out of you. But don’t think for a second I’m going to let you shut me out. That wasn’t the agreement we made.”
Erica hooked her purse strap over her shoulder as she stood. His gaze followed her movement. “It doesn’t matter what you didn’t do. It only matters what you did do. Something we both should keep in the forefront of our minds. The past is the past. The future is what we make of it. I trust you, Mike. One hundred percent. Even when you don’t trust yourself, I trust you. Hold on to that while you’re beating yourself up over this.”
On that note, she walked out. He could chew on that for a while. She didn’t intend to let him dwell too long, though. Only as long as it took to finish her errands.
“Have a nice day, April,” she said as she passed through reception.
“You too.”
Outside, Erica took a deep breath to quell a sudden attack of nerves. Too many things lumped into one—the argument with Mike, Keith’s reappearance and what it would bring, and her second-guessing the decision to share Sandy’s whereabouts with Clint. She should have been more cautious. Should have contacted Sandy first. But then, Sandy would have refused, and that look in Clint’s eyes—
“Hey.”
Erica spun around at the sound of Mike’s voice behind her.
“I didn’t mean to startle you.” He touched her elbow. “You’re right. Communicating isn’t easy, and I really botched it this time. Thank you for calling me out.”
“You’d do the same.”
“I’m scared,” he freely admitted.
“It’s okay to be scared. I’ve got your back.”
He stepped closer. “When bad things happen, all I want is to be in your arms. I want to hold you so badly right now.”
“Then do.” She wrapped her arms around his neck, dragging him with her as she leaned against the car.
He tightened his arms around her waist and nuzzled his cheek against hers. “Don’t let go.”
“Never. Even when we’re apart, I’ll always be there.”
Mike dropped a kiss to her lips. “I’ll call you later. Text.” He managed a weak smile. “Maybe we can out-text Tim and Trish.”
She brushed her thumb over his cheek. “We’re amateurs compared to them, but we’ll get there.”
“Yeah, we will.” His smile was stronger now, chasing the demons from his eyes. “Stay safe, and I’ll do the same.”
They went their separate ways after another kiss—she into her car, he toward the station. She watched his stride, strong and confident, shoulders not as weighed down, although she knew the issue was far from over. The memory of what he’d almost done would bother him for some time. It would affect decisions he made from here on out. It would also make him a better firefighter, giving him more insight into a person’s psyche. If he continued to be a firefighter.
The lottery ticket had turned into a weight she’d never imagined. She would have felt better if Mike had signed the damn thing. Or would she? Signed, it became real. Too real. No dream come true but a nightmare of grand proportion. Because it would change everything they were.
Only if you let it.
Relief seeped through her. She grabbed her phone to text Mike.
Epiphany here. We control the money. It doesn’t control us. Nothing truly has to change unless we wish it.
She stared at her phone, debating on whether or not to send it. He’d been clear on his wishes and needs for the moment. Would he take this as her trying to manipulate him into doing what she wanted?
A tap at her window made her start. The next to the last person she expected to find standing there was Karen Trenton. Nothing in her stance suggested danger, but Erica didn’t trust her. A quick scan showed no vehicle in sight. That was suspicious on its own.
Karen twirled her finger, asking Erica to roll down the window. She spun it down a fraction, knowing it alerted the other woman that Erica considered her a threat.
“The news said Keith was found, that fire-department personnel rescued him. I came here to see if it was true.” Karen stuffed her hands into the pockets of her black hoodie.
Erica jerked her head toward the door. “I’m sure they’ll be able to provide that information. Sorry. I’m late for an appointment.” She started her car and added a shrug. Fear of running over Karen kept her in place. Karen wasn’t moving.
“Was there something more you needed?” Erica asked. Was that her finger in her pocket or a weapon? Erica pressed Send on the draft text, waited, and sent another blank text, then another.
Karen’s head whipped up. Erica didn’t dare take her eyes off the woman to see who approached. She didn’t really have to.
“Is there a problem, ma’am?” Mike asked.
Karen stepped away. Erica rolled up the window.
“I heard my brother was rescued by fire-department personnel. I’m Karen Randall Trenton. I thought I could get more info here. I know this woman, so—”
“We can help you inside, ma’am,” Erica heard April say. She turned in time to see April wave Karen toward the station. CJ and Bub hovered nearby. As Karen walked away, Mike replaced her at the driver’s-side window. Erica rolled it down.
“We’ve notified deputies she’s here.” He pulled the pen from his shirt pocket. “Give me that ticket. I’ll sign it a thousand times over if that’s what it takes to keep this safe for you.”
“For us.”
“For us,” he replied.
Chapter Fifteen
Going back to work on Wednesday had helped fill the hours while Mike was on-shift. With Keith hospitalized and Karen avoiding sheriff’s deputies, she felt fairly safe returning to normal activities, though she maintained diligence with safety precautions.
The routine and work had helped keep the lonelies away for the last two days. But oh, how Erica wanted to play hooky today, now that Mike was off-shift or would be once this firefighter demonstration was over. Complaints about the cancellation had reverberated up the chain, right to the school board. Mrs. Ritz had had no choice but to reschedule for Friday immediately. Mike and his crew waited in the parking lot with one of the engines. The children were beyond excited. Mild compared to Erica’s giddy anticipation over seeing Mike.
One look, and everyone would see how crazy in love she was with him. At least she had the buffer of children, teachers, and parent volunteers between them. Her sole focus would be on the second-grade students in her care, not on the yummy fire captain.
Liar.
Three days and very long nights had been sprinkled with text messages that would set the Cloud on fire, not to mention one or two very graphic phone calls. How could she not lock her gaze on him the moment he came into view?
She led the class toward the parking lot where the fire engine and crew waited to assuage the kids’ curiosity this morning. The roar of the truck shuddered through her first, churning her already fluttering heart. Nearing the gate, Erica turned around and walked backward in order to avoid the gaze she knew would spear through her.
“Stay together. Manners in place. Be respectful.” The kids were wide-eyed at the prospect of being so near the fire engine and the men and women who were their heroes.
“You’re going to trip and fall if you keep walking backward.”
Her heart jolted at the sound of Mike’s deep voice. She’d been too focused on not looking that she hadn’t realized he stood at the gate, ready to greet the kids as they arrived. His turnout gear made him seem larger than life. Hell, he
was
larger than life. Memories of his hot phone call last night shut down her brain and ignited her blood.
It was impossible not to stare up at him, not to let her smile burst into bloom. The press forward from the class behind hers kept her moving. That is, until her resident drama queen dug in her heels.
“No. It’s too loud.” Alexis slammed her hands over her ears. Her best friend Tammy did the same. That started a chain reaction of panic that rippled down the line. Alexis had made sure she was the center of attention.
Erica pulled the six children most likely to implode from the line and turned the class over to her parent assistant. Tucked in the corner, Erica gathered the kids in a semicircle, their backs to the concrete wall, facing her. She conjured up her most patient voice. Before she could use it, Mike squatted down to their level.
“Hey, everything’s all right. There are only friends here.”
Their focus shifted to him.
“Do you promise?” Alexis asked.
Erica swore she’d batted her eyelashes.
“Cross my heart.” Mike drew an
X
over his heart.
“Well…” Alexis eased her hands away from her ears as she scanned the red fire engine. “If you promise it’s all right, I guess we could go closer.”
“Then let’s move along.” Erica scooted them toward the rest of their class. “We’ve taken up enough of the firefighter’s time.”
“No problem at all. That’s what I’m here for.” His smile bathed Erica in a warm glow. A smile she fully returned. So much for discretion. Any fool looking would know the truth.
The children provided the excuse Erica needed to make an easy escape, but the little buggers scurried ahead to rejoin the group, effectively deserting her before she could move. The rush of students and teachers that had been so prevalent before was now nonexistent. She was alone. With Mike.
He filled the gap, separating her easily from the rest of the world with his bulk alone. Her heart raced. Skin tingled.
“Sleep well?” he asked.
Heat flushed her from head to toe. “I did after receiving a rather risqué phone call. Once the tension from that abated, I slept like a baby.”
He sucked in a breath and stared at the concrete wall behind her for a few seconds before turning those blue eyes her way once more. “Wish I could say the same.”
Erica tilted her head. “Oh? Busy night?”
He took a step forward. She told herself to take a giant step back, but her feet refused to budge. “I couldn’t turn my mind off.”
“Because I’d turned it on so well?”
His nostrils flared on a deep breath. Her heart pounded against her sternum. If they’d been alone, she knew he would have had her shoved against the cement wall and her legs wrapped around his waist.
“You’ll be home by three thirty?” he asked.
“Oh yes,” she concurred.
He tapped the brim of his helmet and returned to his post. “Who’s excited to see this big boy in action?” he called out.
“We are,” the kids shouted.
Erica’s thoughts went to another type of action with the big boy himself. Mike would be all over her the second she walked in the door. She couldn’t wait to have him to herself for the weekend, and not only for sex. The quiet comfort of his physical presence would help dispel the frustrations she’d had to deal with. Nothing came easy, that was certain.
Keith had asked for her to visit him in the hospital. Erica refused to see him. Anything she had to say would come from her attorney to his. End of story. If she’d had grounds to file a restraining order against Keith, she would have done so. Karen had hauled ass before Posner could reach the fire station on Tuesday. She’d used the firefighters’ distraction over a call to slip out. Of course, Keith pointed the finger at his sister, according to what Posner had told Erica. She didn’t ask for specifics. Didn’t care. All Erica wanted was a divorce and to be shed of Keith’s debts and any responsibility for the fire, which their insurance refused to cover since arson was involved and the investigation was ongoing.
Erica tensed up thinking about it. No physical evidence linked Keith to anything. Sandy refused to respond to calls, so no rape charges had been filed. As for Betty, her doctors considered it too soon to approach her about filing extortion and blackmailing charges against Keith. In doing so, she would have to admit her own failings, and Betty wasn’t at the point yet to do so. Posner’s frustration matched Erica’s. Once Keith was released from the hospital, there was nothing to keep him from leaving.