Worth The Wait: A Nature Of Desire Series Novel (27 page)

He didn’t free her to do that. Instead, he started to ease her back, slowly, for he didn’t allow her to unfold her legs. He supported her head until she was in a full backbend, the point of her skull resting on the mat. She did yoga, she knew he knew that. A couple times during the long days of the last week, she’d done a short session off in the wings to stay limber. She remembered seeing him leaning against the wall, watching her do an
asana
very similar to this position.

She was like his orchids, she realized. He’d observed how she moved in her daily life and was using it here to decide how to shape her for his pleasure.

He nudged her knees farther apart as he lifted the long skirt, folding it up to her waist to expose her panties. He braced himself over her, studying her, a dark ruthless spirit whose hair fell forward to frame his chiseled features and sharp eyes. Those eyes shifted to her.

“If this position gets unbearable, you tell me.”

“It’s all unbearable. That’s why I don’t want you to stop.” She could barely breathe. The ropes dug into her arms and constricted her breasts, and she lifted her chin, exposing her throat to him. She felt on the verge of a climax that went far beyond the physical.

He hooked the panties in one finger, pushing into her, and she moaned as he passed his thumb over her clit on the outside of the front panel. “Yeah, you’re as wet as the ocean, love. Warm and salty and slippery. You want my cock here?”

“Yes. God, yes.”

“You know I love the way your voice sounds when you beg. Throaty and female, so sweet and strong. Vulnerable, trusting me.” He pulled the panties farther to the side and began to push a couple more fingers inside her. He kept his eyes locked on hers and, though she couldn’t deny the power of his touch, it was his demanding gaze that sent her over.

She began to climax before she could stop herself and, once on that ride, she couldn’t stop. The orgasm kept peaking and crashing down on her with every slight movement he pushed forward, stretching and penetrating her so deep, fingers stroking and playing, finding sensations she’d never even discovered herself.

Her back and thigh muscles were clenching, her whole body pitted against his restraints. She screamed as the orgasm refused to leave that edge, goaded by the conflict between pleasure and pain. It was as if she was being cut open from stem to stern with excruciating pleasure.

It went on and on, as if she could never get enough, as if she could never climax enough. Then he withdrew his fingers, clasped her around the waist and cradled her head, bringing her back to a quivering, upright position. He’d done it with care, so her muscles and joints had time to accommodate the change in position, but once he had her vertical, he showed his own urgency. His cock was thick and hard, brushing his abdomen, the tip glistening with pre-come. He held her with one arm and reached for the jeans he’d left crumpled close by.

“Do you have to…” Her voice wasn’t much more than a whisper but he stopped, tilting his head toward her. He’d told her he’d had sessions that resulted in sex, but if he’d always been safe… “Can you not wear it? If you have to, it’s okay, I don’t want us to risk anything bad. But…I’m safe.”

His gaze was sharp with desire, but now it filled with another emotion. He left the jeans to put both hands on her again, fingers digging into her arms. “The very last thing you are, Julie Ramirez, is safe. But yes, you are safe with me. I’ve always been careful.”

“Okay. Then please…let me feel you.”

He lifted her to take her place on the mat, bringing her over his lap to straddle him, her skirt covering his bare legs. She was excruciatingly tight, thanks to the orgasm, but though he was relentless, he was caring, slowly bringing her down on him, watching her face constrict, lips part as he pushed in, inch by inch. She was still wet, and once he was fully seated, he cupped her face, eyes darkening as she turned her head and bit the heel of his hand, hard, conveying her emotional turmoil. He’d given her an orgasm, but she needed an emotional release. She needed that edge. He was finally inside her, and she wanted to feel it like a branding.

“So be it, love.” He brought her down fully on him, her clit getting full contact as his cock rammed deep, stretching and invading her vibrating tissues.

“Oh…” She cried out, helpless since he had her arms still bound behind her back, her upper body caught in his rope. Her breasts quivered and bounced at the impact, and his gaze went from there to her throat, to her mouth, and back again. He thrust into her again with that same force and it snapped his own control. As he plunged her into a full bodied immersion of wet, heated joining, she was gasping, making noises of need and encouragement. Harder, deeper.
Please, make it hurt in that way that takes away the pain.

He gave her that wish and, when he finally shot his release into her, she was caught by the amber fire of his brown eyes, the taut set of his mouth, his arms so tight around her again. She couldn’t breathe, didn’t ever want to breathe.

Not if the trade-off was that she could feel like this.

He’d told her his feelings. He’d made her say she believed him, because she wanted to believe him so much. But in these moments, she knew no doubts. After all this time, it had come. The relationship that made her pain over the other ones seem ridiculous. That hadn’t been heartbreak. Heartbreak was losing someone you truly loved. Someone whose leaving would destroy her.

This was the answer he’d given to her reluctance about the wedding dresses. If she was wrong about him, it would be bad. If she was right, she’d be scared to the core. But when he was holding her now, his face pressed into her throat, her bound body in his arms, she gave her faith to what he’d promised and said it aloud, wondering at it.

"I'm yours, Des," she said.

"Yeah, you are,” he said, in that mild way of his that she now knew wasn't mild at all. She dropped her head forward on top of his, inhaled that sunlight smell of him…and let herself be his.

A
fter they settled some more
, he removed the rope, took off her dress, bra and underwear, and put her in a thick robe. She hoped he hadn’t used it for Missive, but all she smelled on it was Des, so she thought he’d brought it with him for
her
aftercare.

Leaving her curled up on the mat, he packed his ropes in his backpack. She was half-asleep when he bent over her. In addition to his pack, he was carrying a small zippered tote she kept in her room, so he’d packed her an overnight bag. He hadn’t asked if it was okay to rummage in her clothes, but it didn’t occur to her that he needed to do so. It was an unsettling thought, if she was allowing herself any of those. Which she wasn’t. Not tonight.

“Did you pack me a bikini top and a mini-skirt to wear tomorrow?”

“Of course. I’m a practical packer.”

“No underwear, I expect.”

“Why would you want to burden yourself with so many extra clothes?” He kissed the tip of her nose and gathered her up, lifting her in his arms like a child.

“I’m too heavy. You should let me walk. Where are we going?”

“You’re not too heavy, I’ll tell you when you need to walk, and my place. Time to show you my hovel, princess. Hush and sleep.”

He carried her to his truck and she watched him through the windshield, lost in a pleasant, completely energy-less, no-thinking state, as he locked up the theater and set the alarm. He noticed details like that. Despite his joking, she’d bet money she’d find everything she’d need in her tote in the morning, from toiletry items to a comfortable outfit of a favorite shirt and jeans—with underwear. He might choose a snugger fitting T-shirt, but she wouldn’t hold that against him. He was male, after all.

When he climbed into the truck, she was turned on her hip, looking at him. He lifted his arm, and she scooted underneath it to be held in its shelter. She helped him put the vehicle in gear, so he wouldn’t have to reach across himself with his driving hand. She stayed where she was as he left the parking lot and drove through the night. She had no clue what time it was, or how far away he lived. It didn’t matter. They could drive all night like this for all she cared.

She dozed a bit more, waking when he was making short turns that told her they’d entered a neighborhood. She opened her eyes as he turned onto a gravel driveway. It wound through woods, a peculiar transition since the road they’d been on had been lined with the neat, attractive models of a planned development.

When the trees cleared, she saw a large cottage like the gingerbread house in a fairy tale, with blue-grey wood siding. A small guest house with the same architecture was about a hundred yards to the left. Beyond the house and guest house was a barn. She saw the silhouettes of two horses in the open door and the flash of a curious large eye when his headlights passed over the stalls.

“The bigger house is Betty’s, my landlady,” Des said. He’d realized she was awake, but his low tone let her stay in her dreamlike state. “The horses are hers. You’ll like them. One’s a big flashy guy, and she used to show him. The other is a little palomino mare with some attitude. I take care of them when she has long shifts. She’s a nurse at the hospital.”

After helping her shift back toward the passenger seat, he left the truck and came around to open her door.

“I feel like Hansel or Gretel,” she observed. “What a magical house to find in the middle of a suburb.”

“This place predated the development, and fortunately the previous owners never sold it for subdivision.” He stroked her cheek, and she felt absurdly pleased at his obvious enchantment with her sleepy and disheveled state. “Betty may have a touch of witch in her, but she prefers to bake cookies instead of children. She makes some great oatmeal raisin ones. Come on.”

Des helped her slide out, and put an arm around her, holding her tote and his pack in the other hand. “Do you want to say hi to the horses before we go in?”

“I’m wearing a robe and no shoes. Yes.”

Smiling at the conflicting messages, he put their things on the hood and picked her up, carrying her down the path to the barn. No man had ever carried her this much, and she’d dated a couple men much more physically intimidating than him. Yet she felt secure in his hold and liked the sensation more than she’d expected.

Though the path wasn’t well lit, his stride was sure, familiar with the terrain. “Miss Thing,” he called out softly. “Come talk to us. We won’t wake up Mr. All That,” he told Julie. “He likes his beauty sleep and can get a bit nippy when woken up before morning, but Miss Thing is a night owl like me.”

He let her feet down outside the open stall door. Julie heard a whicker from the shadows and drew back, startled, as a gold and white head emerged in front of her. However, the liquid brown eyes blinked at her so compellingly she overcame her initial trepidation and petted the horse’s forelock and muscled neck. “Oh, she’s wonderful.”

“Have you ever petted a horse before?” Des had noted her hesitation.

“Rarely,” she admitted. “Cop horses in New York, the occasional carriage horse at Christmas. That kind of thing. Never ridden one.”

“We’ll have to fix that. Miss Thing is a gentle lady.”

Julie liked the idea. Still muzzy, she closed her eyes, using Des as a prop as she scratched Miss Thing’s forehead and caressed her velvety soft nose. He chuckled indulgently and lifted her again.

“Gotta go to bed, Miss Thing. I wore my baby out.” If I plan to take advantage of her again, I have to get her some sleep.” He brushed his lips across Julie’s forehead. “And I sure as hell plan to do that.”

“Don’t I get any say in it?”

“Sure. As long as it’s an unqualified ‘Yes, Des, that’s exactly what I want.’”

He took them back up the path, reclaimed the tote and pack from the truck hood and ascended his small porch. He let her stand on her feet again as he fished out his key. She had a brief impression of a potted vegetable garden, tomatoes and some herbs to the left of the door, along with a folding chair and small table. A rusted set of chimes with a faded painted metal butterfly at the top offered a pleasant music.

Des opened his door and gestured her over the threshold. “It’s basically a one-room apartment, but I’m fond of it, so be kind.”

“I’m living in the back room of a theater. I’m hardly going to judge.”

Though she was sleepy, she was curious about where he lived. When he snapped on a lamp, she saw he was right about the cozy size. The main living area space had a futon, easy chair and small flat screen TV. Several bookcases were stacked with magazines, books, notebooks. A file cabinet and a desk were tucked in a corner with a computer. The kitchen, separated from the living area by an L-shaped counter, had a compact set of the expected appliances. A two-seat bistro set was pushed against a pair of windows to the right of the counter, allowing a small passage to squeeze into the kitchen area.

As her gaze drifted back across the living area, she saw a double bed, partially revealed behind a standing wooden screen, hung with a variety of colorful ropes. One door behind the bed led to a small bathroom, because she saw a section of a vanity sink and a blue shower curtain with seagulls printed on it, diving and swooping. There was a second door she assumed was another room or closet, but it was closed.

Unlike most bachelors she knew, Des hadn’t hesitated to bring her to his home without notice, but he didn’t fit her single guy stereotype in a lot of ways. The living space was inviting, clean and well-ordered, not because he expected guests but because it matched the man’s preferences. A brown, black and blue diamond pattern afghan was draped over the sofa, and the fabrics and accents of the living room meshed with that masculine but pleasing color scheme. The bed cover was dark blue with blue and green throw pillows against blue-cased bed pillows. He didn’t care for knickknacks, no surprise there, but he had pottery pieces to hold several orchids and a cluster of interesting houseplant choices lined the bookcases. The room smelled faintly of peppermint, making her think of Christmas.

He had few possessions compared to most men his same age, but he had the things a man like him might need. Her gaze went back to the shower curtain. “Everything makes me think of forests but that,” she said.

“Yeah. I like seagulls. I like the beach. And if everything matched, you’d figure I bat for the other team.”

She considered. “It
is
true that straight single men rarely present such a well-coordinated interior decorating scheme, unless they’ve enlisted a professional designer to attract women to their lair.”

“Yeah, I thought about it, but I already have to beat them off with a stick. I didn’t want to cause myself more aggravation. I bought the mismatching shower curtain to thin out the pack.”

“Of course.” Her snort became a surprised sound as he lifted her again. He wasn’t kidding; he really did like carrying her. He took her to the bed, put her on her feet to turn it down and untied her robe, sliding it off her shoulders. She held onto his biceps, blinking up at him as he stroked her hair back from her face and regarded her from head to toe.

“A fine-looking naked woman in my home. And not just any naked woman. You’re the only thing my place has been missing.”

He had a way of saying things that should sound hokey but made her knees weak. After he settled her in the bed, he seemed like he was going to leave her there, so she held onto his hand until he relented and sat down next to her.

“Where were you going?” she asked.

“Nowhere. I’m going to let you sleep while I do a couple things. I’m a little keyed up.”

“Could I help with that?” She dropped her hand to his thigh and caressed him. Yeah, she could barely lift her head, but for the chance to give him more pleasure, she’d find some energy.

He smiled, clasping her seeking hand. “You sure can, but not right now. Not when I’ve asked so much of you. Sleep first.”

“The shower curtain… It’s not just because you like seagulls.”

He cocked his head. “Even in a post-coital stupor, the girl is sharp.”

“Not in a stupor. Get over yourself.”

He grinned as she deliberately slurred her words, but as she trailed her fingers up and down his arm and fixed her eyes on him, he became more serious.

“When I was a kid at the boys’ home, they took us to North Myrtle Beach one weekend. I was really looking forward to it, but I contracted a high fever and couldn’t go. Betty, she was the nurse at the boys’ home then. She bought a couple of shower curtains with seagulls on it and hung them around my bed in the infirmary. Bought me a tape of the ocean and played it so I could imagine I was there.”

He glanced toward the bathroom. “That’s not one of the original curtains, but having one like it reminds me there’s something far more important than life not going your way. It’s how you and those around you handle that, and knowing you can discover even better things than a beach trip because of it.”

“Like friendship, and love. Loyalty.” She supplied the unspoken words and thought one more in her mind.
Kindness.
She already loved this Betty, and was intrigued that his landlady was also his childhood nurse. “Did you ever get to the ocean?”

“No. I’ve never been.” A hard-to-read expression crossed his face. “It’s a bucket list thing.”

Her brows raised. “It’s only four hours from here.”

“I know. More backstory. Let’s not worry about it tonight.”

“I need the missing piece before I can sleep, or I won’t. Half a bedtime story just keeps me awake.” She let her fingers drift across his chest, moving up to tangle in his loose hair. “You’re handsome, you know. Really handsome.”

“I’m knotty, like a brown stick with too much hair.”

She laughed, as she was sure he intended, but she clung to the front of his T-shirt. “I don’t want to make you sad, but I want to know you. Will you finish the story?”

He touched her face. Sighed. “Okay. If you show me your boobs.”

“God, men are easy.” She tugged the covers down, flashed her bare breasts at him, then her laugh caught in her throat as he gripped her wrist to keep her from pulling the blankets back up. Leaning down, he breathed heated air over one nipple, watching it crinkle under the attention. She quivered as he played the tip of his tongue over the areola, curled around it, then gave it his whole mouth. The deep, easy suckling had her sighing, folding both arms around his shoulders. In her languorous state, the desire unfurling inside of her was like being in a sauna. All of her was so loose and relaxed. When he lifted his head, she tried to keep him close.

“If you joined me under the covers,” she whispered, “You’d slide into me like a steam bath. All slick and easy. I don’t want you to spare me or let me rest, Des. I want you to have me as often as you want.”

His eyes sharpened, as did the planes of his face, telling her the effect her words had on him. He loosened her arms, but his grip on her was urgent. “I want that to build, for both of us,” he said. “I used you hard, Julie. Trust your Dom. I know what you need. If I take you now, I won’t be gentle about it. Again.”

She saw the truth in his eyes, which caused a tiny little shiver in her. “If you think that makes me want you any less, it’s the wrong tactic.”

His lips twisted ruefully. “I know. It’s why you’re like a drug. One of the reasons. Go to sleep.”

“Finish the story first. Please.”

He relented, though she noticed he shifted his gaze back to the shower curtain, as if he wasn’t entirely comfortable. It was something people did when it was easier to pretend they were telling a story, rather than being the story themselves.

“When my mother took off from the hospital, she left behind a postcard of the ocean for me. Cherry Grove, North Myrtle Beach. It had four words on the back. ‘Sorry. This is better.’ I threw the damn thing away about a million times growing up. Every time, Betty would fish it from the trash and hold onto it until I regretted it and wanted it back. I guess I always counted on that, since I never threw it away where she couldn’t get to it. I did tear it into three pieces once, and she taped them back together.”