Worth the Risk (19 page)

An hour later he was at his mother’s table listening to the usual clatter and chatter of a family meal. It was just Matt’s and Lizzy’s families tonight.

“I’m sorry Hannah couldn’t join us,” his mother said.

“Yeah. She was too and made me promise to thank you for the invitation.” A student needed to change an appointment at the last minute and of course Hannah had accommodated.

His mother’s hopeful smile beamed across the table. She wasn’t looking at him like he was one small step from the edge as much as usual. Though, being thirty-plus, single, and not settled down with a nice girl and a minivan full of kids, he was, in her opinion, headed for a life of ruin.

As Hannah was only the second woman ever to meet his family, he knew she was making a great effort to keep her enthusiasm under control.

“I think what she does with those children and horses is absolutely wonderful.”

So did he. And he figured his mother was thinking about J.T. He’d talked to Hannah about his brother—first time that had ever happened—and she’d asked if maybe J.T. might want to come to Freedom Farm. The answer was no, or more like he didn’t know. J.T. wasn’t exactly communicating these days. Hannah told him to give it time. Maybe he should ask her to talk to his mother, ease her mind as she’d eased his.

“I had lunch with Hannah today,” Abby said, halting her mother-in-law’s imminent gush of hearts and flowers.

“Oh, yeah? How’d it go?”

“Great. Plans for the big publicity day are coming together. We’re calling it Freedom Farm Awareness Day. And my reporter friend thought it would be a great local story.”

The girls had definitely embraced the idea and were running full steam ahead.

Abby and Lizzy continued laying out the plans. It sounded like they had it all figured out. He had his own contribution in the works. “I appreciate all this. Really. And so does Hannah.”

“Well, don’t think you’re getting off without helping,” his sister told him. “Abby has lists. You all get a list.”

He looked at his sister. “You’re just loving this, aren’t you? Gives you such a great opportunity to be bossy.”

Lizzy stuck out her tongue and turned to their mom. Conversation ebbed and flowed. Kids who’d eaten in thirty seconds skirted in and out of the room. Jack and Charlie made a beeline for his dad’s old electric trains in the basement. The girls were “setting up shop” in the other room with his mom’s costume jewelry. Mary laid her head on Matt’s shoulder and sucked two fingers into her mouth.

If Hannah hadn’t come into his life, would he have his family back? Maybe, somewhere down the road. Maybe not. Maybe he would have moved farther away. She’d given him that.

A private look passed between Matt and Abby and his brother caressed his wife’s hand where it lay on the table, linking their fingers. “Do you want to tell them?”

Like a radar detecting information, Lizzy’s ears perked up. “Tell us what?”

“Well, Matt wanted to keep it just between us for a while but…I’m pregnant.”

Matt held Abby’s bright-eyed gaze, pressed their joined hands to his lips, and Stephen knew that in those seconds, everyone else in the room disappeared. It was the same for him when he looked at Hannah.

Lizzy clapped and squealed. “You’re having a baby!”

“Babies,” Matt corrected and followed it with a proud smile. “Twins.”

The squeals and kisses doubled, people stood, and Stephen fought to keep his face neutral. Even smiled when Abby looked up at him, though his brother’s happy news brought a certain hollow feeling to his chest.

Lizzy’s husband, Paul, transferred his chubby, spaghetti-covered baby to his other side and shook Matt’s hand. “Better you than me.”

“I heard that,” Lizzy said.

“Just kidding, honey. I could have a hundred more.” As if in answer, that same baby laughed, spewing spaghetti-laden spittle in Paul’s face.

“This calls for a toast,” his dad said. “I’ll get the champagne.”

After the toasting and the hazing about how Matt always went the extra mile, Stephen helped clear the table and found himself alone in the kitchen with Lizzy. Yep. No good deed went unpunished.

“So. How are things with Hannah?”

“Good.”

“You went out of town with her?”

Stephen tried to edge around his sister. “Yes.”

“How’d it go?”

“Good, and move. I’m trying to work.”

“Yes, I know how single-mindedly you like to clean kitchens.”

He thought of doing dishes with Hannah. “Be nice if you helped.”

“I did more dishes than all of you guys put together. So.” She leaned her hip against the counter. “How good is good?”

He didn’t want to talk about Vegas. His feelings before or after. “Good grief. You’re a
child
psychologist. Remember?”

“And your point?”

“Ha-ha.” He put in the last dish and closed the dishwasher. “Leave it alone, Liz. Please.”

She looked at him a beat, sighed like he’d totally exasperated her instead of the other way around. “Okay. If you promise me you’ll give yourself a chance.”

He thought about that a second, but before he was forced to agree, the other women descended on the kitchen in a buzz of baby names and guessing sexes.

Lizzy gave him a look, annoyed he was getting off without answering.

Things quickly morphed into rearranging and redecorating every child’s bedroom, and he escaped outside to the deck. The men’s safety zone.

They talked sports a bit as the sun sank behind the tall pines, throwing his parents’ yard into shadow.

“Do you think she’s going to lose the property?” his dad asked.

“Not if I can help it. This awareness thing actually has a chance of working, more than I’d first thought.” Stephen laid it out for them, or as much as he had at this point. “All I’ve gotten is a damn runaround. I can’t even get the names of anyone looking to buy it so I can head them off. It’s like I’m being blocked.”

“Bureaucratic red tape,” his dad said.

“Maybe.” But it felt like more than that.

“So,” Matt said, looking over. “You’re going to take on the entire state of Virginia?”

“If that’s what it takes. She’s not trying to make any money at it, not looking for riches or power or even acknowledgment.” Wouldn’t matter if she was. He’d take on the world for her.

“Abby sure thinks Hannah’s something special. And I’m pretty sure Gracie would trade a brother for her.”

The back door opened and a piercing wail poured out. Matt straightened. “Sounds like my cue.”

“Me too,” Paul said.

Matt slapped Stephen on the back as he passed. “Let me know if there’s anything I can do.”

“You mean besides your list?”

“Yeah, besides that.”

“Will do. Thanks, man.” The door closed and Stephen rested his arms on the railing next to his dad.

He wasted no time. “Sounds like you like her.”

So much for safety zone, and he more than liked her.

“I didn’t spend much time with her at Gracie’s party, but I got the sense she was very sweet. And very innocent.”

“Too innocent for me, you mean.”

“I mean you’ve been playing the field quite a while, exorcising your demons, I imagine.”

It never failed to amaze him how much his father knew without ever asking. Been that way since they were kids. The great observer, they called him.

“Do you love her?”

“I don’t know.”

His dad made a sound under his breath. “I think you do.”

Maybe he did. But he’d loved once, with every ounce of his soul, holding nothing back, and it had cost him. Not just the loss, but what he’d learned about himself. That part of himself he’d discovered and feared and hated. And more, it had cost everyone around him.

“You might want to figure it out before she falls in love with you.”

Yeah. Stephen inhaled deeply and let it out as his father’s words sank in. Because the only thing worse than his falling in love with her would be for her to fall in love with him.

The evening before the big day, a low rumbling drew Hannah from the sink to the window overlooking the porch. A giant black truck pulled up and stopped. Surprised to see it was Stephen, she stepped outside.

He got out, big-kid smile on his face, and she got a jolt just watching him as she always did. Hot in jeans and casual dark green. Though Stephen wasn’t a casual man and neither were her feelings for him.

“What do you think?”

“It’s…big.” It was massive, really, like an enormous testosterone machine, with a grille across the front that read FORD in bold black metal.

“Well, thank you.” He winked, then in three strides leaped onto the porch and pressed a quick kiss to her lips. “I have a surprise for you.”

Hannah raised both eyebrows.

“Not that kind of surprise. At least not now. Close your eyes.”

Her eyes narrowed suspiciously.

“Close,” he said again and laughed as he jumped off the porch and went back to the truck.

“What about the Porsche? I thought you loved it?”

“Nah. Not really me.”

Eyes closed, she heard him open the back, then a sliding sound against the truck bed. His footsteps shuffled on the pine needles, his boots clunked up all three steps. “Follow me,” he said, passing her and going inside.

“My eyes are closed.”

“Right. Don’t move.” He came back out and slipped his muscled arms around her from behind, nuzzled her throat. “Mmm. You smell good.”

“So do you.” He always smelled good, a subtle manly aftershave kind of smell that made her picture him naked. This man who was bringing her body to life in a way she’d never experienced before. Or maybe that was more his clever hands sliding up to cup her breasts. He kept going, his fingers hot and slightly rough on her neck when he angled her back for a kiss. Hot and familiar, a comforting,
I know you
kiss.

“Keep your eyes closed,” he said against her lips.

“I thought this wasn’t the surprise.”

He smiled against her mouth. “It’s not. Though if you’re good, maybe it will be later.”

Another quick kiss and he pulled her along behind him. She knew her house, knew when she’d come to a stop in the middle of the living room.

“Okay. Open.”

A giant wooden easel stood, holding a flat whiteboard three times the size of her TV. “What is it?”

Stephen walked over and flipped it around. It still took her a second to assimilate what she was looking at. She read the words
Freedom Farm
in big letters across the top. Stepping closer, she saw the barn, the fields. Not one but two riding rings and an area marked for a playground. It was exactly what they talked about. Stephen had taken her dream and put it on paper. Made it real.

“I have another one, a more detailed version with the equipment, what I think it would take to build it, make it all work.” He was pointing and talking. “And back here is the camp. I know that’s more than you said but— Hey. Don’t cry. If you can’t do it here, we’ll find another place. I promise.”

She shook her head. “It’s not that.” Her eyes went to his handsome face. Proud and maybe a little embarrassed, smiling that crooked half smile that made her insides dip. He really did see it. He’d seen and understood what was in her mind, then taken it and made it better. “How did you know? How did you—”

“Great minds think alike.” Big hands caught her waist and pulled her close.

Yes. They did think alike. About a lot of things. If anyone understood what this place meant to her, it was this man. They’d both been broken, Stephen by love, her by evil. Both of their lives changed by monsters. And both of them saved by places.

She rose up on her toes, took his face in her hands and kissed him. This wasn’t simple, and every second together meant something. Every look, every touch. The feeling in her heart grew stronger, sharp enough to sting. Not falling in love with him wasn’t going to be an option.

Stephen let her nudge him three steps back until his legs hit the couch. He sat, watched her straddle his lap. She seemed to need to be in control and he didn’t mind. At all.

He circled her narrow waist and let her have her way with him. Even though he’d been with her that morning, he was hungry for her. Starved for her body and everything else being with her did to him. With single-minded attention, she ran her palms over his shirt, then back down and under it. More experienced, less timid, she mapped out his upper body. She continued down his stomach and lower.

Boldly, with no hesitation, she stroked him through his jeans and he almost came on the couch. “I guess you liked my ideas.”

“I guess I did.”

Loosening his grip on her hips, he shifted his hands, slipped them between her open legs. Two could play this game. He added some pressure and she drew in a long deep breath, let it out on a sigh.

Even as she rocked against him, she pulled impatiently at his shirt. “I want this off.”

He smiled as he peeled it over his head, then did the same to hers. And…holy fuck. His heart stuttered at the sight of her. Black satin and intricate lace covered and contrasted with the creamy skin of her breasts. His eyes trailed over her narrow torso and back up. Damn. She looked like a schoolgirl posing for a pinup. “Hannah.”

“I ordered it online.”

“I love online. Please tell me you locked the door.”

“You were in charge of the door.” She leaned in until her lips were a breath from his. “My eyes were closed.”

He smoothed his hands up her back and into the mass of silk tumbling around her shoulders. His blood pumped, mouth watered at that sexy innocence he’d noticed from the first. So sweet, inside and out, and finding her rhythm with him. They were finding it together. “Do you have any idea how much I want you?”

With his fingers twined in her hair, he angled her head back and ravaged her mouth. Tongues and hands aroused and caressed. He found her breast and sucked one hard peak through the satin. He moved to the other and had her sighing in seconds, moaning in minutes.

His entire body pulsed and he felt his erection swell even further. Driven with a desperation to possess her, to fill himself with everything that was Hannah, he stood and made a quick scan of the room. Couch. Floor. Wall. Table.

And with what he considered superhuman self-control, he forced himself the few feet to the bedroom. When he was done, neither of them was going to want to move for some time.

The second he dropped her onto the bed she reached for his zipper but he shifted away. If she so much as touched him, he would ignite. He quickly pulled her jeans down over her hips, taking her panties with them. Got rid of his pants and socks, hastily donned a condom, and joined her.

The sun set through the two windows on either side of the bed as he stroked a palm down her body, starting at her neck. “You feel so good. Everything about you feels so good.” He thought to slow things down, take his time, or try to. But she pushed and rolled and came over him again, centered herself above his erection.

His heart hammered, blood pumped as she unhooked the bra, let it slip from her shoulders. Long hair framed her face, nipples hard and bright red from his mouth peeked through the golden strands. An erotic image and one he wouldn’t forget. His virgin goddess, no longer a virgin. “I want you.” God, he more than wanted her, he
needed
her. With a force he couldn’t, or more likely didn’t want to, understand.

She leaned forward and braced her hands on his chest. Her hair tumbled about them like a sensual curtain and she put her lips to his. “You have me,” she whispered.

Then with her eyes piercing his, she took him in her hand, lowered herself over him until thick and throbbing, he was pressing inside her.

Still so small and tight, he brought her down while he pushed up. Just as hot as the first time. Every time.

He held there, giving her time to adjust, wanting it to last and knowing it wouldn’t. Not this time. But she rocked her hips forward, showing him she didn’t want time, and began a perfect rhythm. Her breasts swayed above him and he moved with her, driving up and into the endless pleasure that was Hannah’s body.

Her head dropped back, sending loose waves to brush his inner thighs and his breath left his lungs in a rush. But then, it was the look in her eyes, steady on his, that did him in. Hot desire that matched his own.

He hadn’t planned this, her. Hadn’t prepared. It was a risk.
He
was a risk. But she gripped his heart as sure as she gripped his body. Abruptly he sat up, and with more possession than finesse, he arched her back and took her breast without mercy. Desperately, he kissed her; lips, face, neck. He thought all of these feelings had been thoroughly ripped away, scraped out of him like cleaning a wound. Until Hannah. She found them, or maybe she put them there.

And as he stared deep into her whiskey-colored eyes, he thought he wouldn’t need to drink or drown in work to fight off his demons if he had her. If he had her, that’s all he would need. But hadn’t she fought enough demons?

“Don’t let me hurt you.”

“You’re not.”

Her nails bit into his back, as wild for him as he was for her, but that’s not what he’d meant. Mind reeling, fingers digging into flesh, he drove deeper. And deeper still until she cried out his name, dragging him over with her.