Wonderlust (13 page)

“No, I don’t want a black eye.”

“I wouldn’t let her get that close.” That was comforting to know. “I was thinking of taking a drive around London later, and I was hoping you’d be my tour guide.”

“Oh, I…I’m not sure…” I stopped. What would be the harm? ”Actually, why not? I’ll take you to my local pub.”

“Pub?” Shane frowned.

“It’s like a wine bar, but better.” He seemed excited at the thought. When I glanced over at Alex and Maddison, I noticed they were looking in my direction. They seemed to be gearing up for a big scene. Maddison wasn’t wearing much, just a skimpy shirt. Alex gave me a small wave before turning to talk to the director.

“We’ll go once we’ve dropped Alex and Maddison off then?”

“Sounds good,” I muttered, still watching Alex. My worst fear was about to be realized. They were about to do a kissing scene. It was one of those situations when you knew you shouldn’t watch but couldn’t look away. The kiss was powerful. A fake rain machine drenched them as they kissed passionately. I could feel myself mimicking the actions of Alex’s soft, pouty lips, wishing they were pressed against mine. I lost count of how many takes they had to do, but one thing was clear: Alex could kiss. It was all consuming. He took what he wanted without a single thought. I’d always dreamt of being taken that way.

“Are you ready to leave?” Shane asked while I was responding to Gina’s urgent emails. They called a wrap for shoot earlier than I thought.

“Oh, they’re done. Okay.” I grabbed my bag and was still finishing the email on my phone as I tried to follow Shane.

“Watch it, Bitch!” Maddison suddenly rammed into me. Fuck. I didn’t need this right now.

“Sorry,” I replied, starting to walk away. I wasn’t interested in fighting with her.

“You will be, you frigid bitch!” She was so original.

“Maddison,” Alex cautioned.

“Look, I’m sorry about yesterday. I was having an off day.”

“I don’t give a fuck! No one speaks to me that way!”

“All I can do is apologize,” I shrugged. “If you don’t want to accept it, that’s your problem.”

“Alex, I want you to sack this bitch, right now!” I turned, looking at her in disbelief. Who the
fuck
did she think she was?

“Excuse me?” I seethed, taking a step toward her. Shane grabbed my waist, pulling me back within seconds. “Who the hell do you think you are barking orders like that at him?” Alex had moved closer to Maddison, ready to restrain her if needed, but his eyes were locked on mine. “He doesn’t need a trashy woman like you! He could do so much better!”

“What? You think he’d go for a frigid skank like you?” she sneered.

“Maddison, that’s enough,” Alex warned in a clipped tone.

“He told me you were frigid, you know.” My eyes began to water and pain sliced through me as I looked at Alex. How could he? I wasn’t fucking frigid; I was protecting my damn feelings from predators like him! “He came to me because I can show him a good time.”

“I’ve
never f
ucking wanted him. You’re welcome to him!” I yelled, pulling free from Shane’s hold.

As I ran away from the situation, I heard footsteps following me.

“Nat! Natasha, fucking wait!” I wasn’t going to wait for Alex Harbour, ever! “Nat.” Catching up with me, he grabbed my arm, making me turn to face him. “Fucking
wait
!”

“You bastard!” I seethed, pushing his chest. “You think I’m fucking frigid because I won’t sleep with you? Why can’t you get it into that thick skull of yours that I don’t want you in that way! You’re a fucking asshole!”

“I never said that to her, Nat. I promise.”

“I don’t give a shit what you said. I’m going back to the hotel. I need time to think.”

“About what?” I looked down at the floor. Taking David’s offer right now seemed like a good idea. If I stayed, my feelings for Alex would only become deeper, and I was in pain already. “You’re thinking about going back to him, aren’t you?”

“Not him, the job!” I glared. “I can’t do this anymore!” Turning on my heels, I walked away. I’d make my own way back to the hotel using the tube. Luckily I knew my way around London, and this time I wasn’t followed.

Finally, I had some time alone to think.

Pressing my hands against the cool glass window, I gazed out to watch London below me. Did I want to come back here? Was going back to David a good idea? Either way, things wouldn’t end well for me. Neither choice was a good one. Watch David marry and start a family with Sarah, or continue to fall for an egotistical rock star that would break my heart through alcohol, drugs, and other women.

Why did I get myself mixed up in these situations? At twenty-nine, I should’ve been thinking about settling down. My mother was always telling me that I was scared of commitment; maybe she was right.

Staying with Alex was still the best option, though. If I could learn to mask my feelings and move on, maybe I could salvage things. It wasn’t like he would ever find out how I truly felt about him. I just needed to chock it up as another case of wanting what I couldn’t have.

Resting on my bed, I was staring up at the ceiling when my phone rang.
Please don’t let it be David or Alex!
I frowned, picking it up to see Gina’s ID.

“Hi, Gina. Is everything okay? Did you get my emails from earlier?”

“I did, thank you, Natasha. I’m calling regarding another matter.” Oh, I knew where this was heading. “Alex has just called me with some disturbing news.”

“Has he?”

“You’re not really thinking about going back to work for David Barclay, are you?”

“Oh, I…”

“It would be such a step backwards. I can see great things ahead for you. Don’t ruin it by chasing a man. You’re better than that.”

“It’s been a strange day. I’m shocked that Alex called you, to be honest. Is he that worried?”

“You’ve been a lifeline for him. Everyone has commented on how calm he’s become these days. I knew you’d be good for him. You’ve given him boundaries and challenged him. He’s needed that for a long time. His arrogance was overbearing to everyone around him at times. I was the only person to say no to him before you. He thought the world was his—that he could have anything he wanted. You’ve opened his eyes.”

“I can’t see myself leaving, Gina. You have nothing to worry about.” She breathed in relief. “I’ve had a difficult few days. Alex and I had words earlier, too. I was lashing out at him by telling him I might be leaving.”

“I did wonder.”

“Sorry to worry you, Gina.”

“It’s okay. I’m just glad you’re staying. I’ll see you in New York next week. Are you still going to Macon?”

“Yes, but we’re not staying. We’ll fly to New York from there.” Alex had a meeting with Rock Records Headquarters immediately following his private gig in Macon. He’d told me in confidence that he expected the meeting would be about a new album.

“Good. See you then.” With that, she hung up. I fell asleep not long after the call. I had an early flight in the morning, so it would do me good.

“You’re coming back with me?” Alex’s worried eyes met with mine as Shane took my luggage from me.

“It looks that way,” I muttered, moving away from him.

“Straight Lace, please. I’m sorry about yesterday,” he called after me. “Don’t be like this.”

“I’m surprised you didn’t tell her about the nickname you have for me, too.”

He followed me into the back of the limo. “I didn’t tell her anything!”

“Yet she knows I haven’t had sex with you. Isn’t that strange?” He winced, looking away from me. “I don’t know what hurts more, the fact that you’re lying or the fact you take pleasure in mocking me in front of your bimbos!”

“It wasn’t like that.” Obviously stressed, he ruffled his hair before pinching the bridge of his nose with his fingers. “I may have said something to a few women Maddison knew the first week you arrived, but I didn’t mean any harm.”

“Well, you hurt me. I’m your PA, Alex. You had
no
right discussing that shit with
anyone
!”

“You’re right. I’m sorry. It won’t happen again.”

“It better not. Otherwise, I
will
leave!”

“Does this mean we’re not friends anymore?” he pouted. How could I resist that pout?

“No, we’re still friends. That doesn’t mean you’re not a fucking asshole!”

“I know,” he sighed as fans engulfed the limo. London clearly didn’t want Alex to leave. The blackout glass gave us privacy, though. All you could hear were screams and the thud of women banging on the windows. The hysteria around him never faded after Steel Roses split. Instead, all the focus become directed toward him.

“Doesn’t this scare you?”

“No,” he chuckled as a fan pressed her bare breasts against the window.

“Do these women have no morals?”

“They're just trying to get my attention. You have to admit, that was a great pair of tits.”

“I wasn’t looking that closely,” I sulked.

“Shane will get us through safely, don’t worry,” he laughed.

Despite the crowds, we made it to the airport in plenty of time for the flight. The comfortable first class seats meant I slept most of the way after we’d been served breakfast. The air stewards were all swooning over Alex, so he was busy anyway.

“Hear me out!” I woke up to Diego’s raised voice. “Don’t you think it’s time?”

“All that fucking shit is
done
! He should have moved the fuck on from it. I have!” Alex was seriously pissed about something.

“You never talked about any of it. You all just walked away.”

“I had no fucking choice. You know that!” Crap, were they arguing about the Steel Roses split? “Why are you bringing all this shit up again? Have you seen him?”

“Mason just said…”

“You
have
been seeing them behind my fucking back! What, are you some fucking spy, going back and telling Matt everything?”

“Oh, shut the fuck up before I bitch slap you for overreacting.” I held in a snigger. Diego could handle Alex as well as I could. “I saw Mason at a club last month and he said that Matt had mentioned a reunion tour, but that you and he would have to talk it all out before it happened.”

“It’s not fucking happening. I don’t owe those fuckers anything! They can do a tour, but I won’t be part of it.”

“That’s not going to work, is it? You’re the damn front man.”

“Fucking
drop it
, Diego.” Alex’s tone was laced with pure hatred, and it made me wonder what actually happened to make the band split over ten years ago.

“You don’t have to be so
ambitchous,”
Diego glared, throwing his hair over his shoulders, annoyed.
That made me snort before I could stop myself. Putting my hands over my mouth, I tried to pretend to be asleep, but failed.

“Eavesdropping on a conversation, huh? There is usually a punishment for that,” Alex tutted, taking the seat opposite me.

“I only heard the last part. I’m sorry, but it was funny.” I grinned over a Diego. “
Ambitchous
?”

“It’s when you act like a bigger bitch than usual,” he winked. I loved it! “Alex is one most days.”

“Shut up, fucker. You overstepped the mark.”

“Whatever.” Diego brushed him off, putting his headphones on.

“I hate that diva sometimes.” Alex sighed, playing with his armrest.

“No you don’t. He’s your oldest friend. You’d be lost without him, and you know it.” Stroking the stubble on his chin, he finally nodded.

“I was thinking, I want to move you into Milly’s old suite when we get back. I was being a jerk by giving you that tiny bedroom in the first place.” Oh, wow!

“Umm… I really don’t mind the room you gave me, Alex.”

“I know you don’t, but I want to make up for the whole Maddison issue. The only problem is that the suite is on the same floor as my room. Milly and I kind of took over the entire top floor. No one else really goes up there—just the cleaners once a week—so you’ll have more privacy. Plus, it’s really spacious.”

“Oh, um…” I’d have the whole top floor with Alex—
alone
. Holy fuck! That wasn’t good.

“Take a look when you get back. You can stay in your room if you want, I just wanted to give you that option.”

“I’ll have a look. Thank you,” I yawned.

“Are you still tired? I can go and sit…”

“No, it’s fine. I’ve probably slept too much anyway.” I sat up a little more in my seat, trying to wake myself up.

“You never did bring your friend to meet me,” he stated out of the blue. “Are you that ashamed of working for me?”

“I didn’t want to watch you eat her alive.”

“I have no idea what you mean.”

“I saw you sucking face with Maddison on set. Liv wouldn’t last an hour with you.”

“Were you studying my kissing technique?”

“No, I was watching you and Maddison try to eat each others’ faces. It was disgusting.” He shook his head at me and tried to hide his smirk. “And what were all those hickeys about? How old are you…fifteen?”

“You were getting hickeys at
fifteen
? Jesus, you started young.”

“Oh, shut up! You’re telling me you didn’t experiment at that age?”

“Do you think I’m
that
sex crazed? That I would be thinking about sex at such a tender age? That maybe I used to try and look down my hot teacher’s top in class?” Why did I feel so alive when we joked like this? My entire body was humming with adrenalin.

“You’re stating the obvious.”

“Yeah, I lost my virginity at fifteen. She was older than me.” Too much information!

“Thanks, I really wanted to know that.”

“You asked for it,” he snorted, getting an air steward’s attention. “Do you want a drink or anything?”

“Maybe a coke and a packet of crisps.”

“You mean some chips?” He smirked.

“Whatever. I’d like Walkers, if they have any.”

“You’re a demanding little thing when you want to be, aren’t you?”

“You have no idea.” Batting my eyelashes at him, I waited for my coke and
crisps
.

“Home sweet home.” Alex stripped out of his shirt right in front of me. With his fine, muscular chest revealed, he dove into the pool. We’d only just gotten through the doors. “Care to join me?” he challenged, swimming up to the edge of the pool. “The water is a lovely temperature.”

“I’d like to unpack first. You’re crazy, did you know that?”

“There’s no point in unpacking. You might be moving rooms, remember?” Shit, I’d forgotten about that. “Don’t think about it, Straight Lace, just jump.”

“In my clothes?”

“You can take them off if you want. I don’t mind. Come on, live a little.” Fuck it! It was only water. Surprising him, I took a step back, then leapt into the pool. The water was refreshing after the long plane journey. Alex was by my side within seconds, grabbing me around the waist. Fuck, what was he going to do? “Now you’re in trouble,” he grinned, lifting me out of the water only to throw me back in.

“Alex,” I spluttered, catching my breath. “Don’t you dare!” I giggled as he tried to grab me again. This time, I splashed him. “No, get off!” I laughed, thinking he was going to throw me again as he pulled me into his chest, but he didn’t. Instead, he pinned me up against the side of the pool.