Wolf of Arundale Hall (13 page)

She arched her back, her hips twisting to deepen his penetration. His fingers danced over her breasts. He drove into her relentlessly, until she was close to release, and held still.

“You belong to me—say it.”

When her eyes flew open, his dark expression both frightened her and thrilled her. To belong. To be his. She always had been. “I belong to you,” she whispered.

“And you will obey me.”

Her heart lurched and her lips trembled. “No. Do not ask it.” She couldn’t do it. Total surrender meant she would be at his mercy, vulnerable.

But he was implacable. “I swear I will not abandon you. Obey me.”

“Joshua,” she said, her voice filled with pain. “How can you ask it of me?”

“Because I need you, Elizabeth,” he admitted.

Her gaze met his. It was strange. His cock deep within her, he could take what he wanted. But he seemed to want more from her. Surrender.

“I…will obey you,” she said and closed her eyes, tears squeezing from between her lids.

“Oh, my sweet flower,” he said. “I’ve hurt you. I will make it better. I swear it.” He moved slowly within her and leaned down to take her mouth tenderly.

Passion exploded between them but he kept the kiss deep and slow. She moaned into his mouth and her hips shifted, causing electricity to run down the length of her spine.

Make me forget the words I know are just lies to gain my body. Make me believe this is love.

She nipped at his mouth, demanding, needy. He thrust his hands into her hair and held her gaze while he slammed his cock inside her again and again. Her eyes squeezed shut and he captured her scream with his mouth.

He tore his mouth away and, when he came inside her, he let loose the wild roar of his Beast. He streamed inside her and she thrashed beneath him, her own orgasm extended and intensified. She milked him dry and he collapsed on top of her.

The claiming he’d begun ten years ago was complete. Now she could never escape. Her inner thigh burned where his mark had always reminded her of the man who had left her. She hissed with pain as the sensation swamped her, combining with pleasure and creating an odd frisson of need.

Pain. The pain of joining with this man cut deep into her soul. Reality returned and she realized what she’d just done. He’d taken her as his own on the divan in the library, not the traditional bed chamber, where a married couple’s private secrets were kept. But here, where anyone could have seen them.

Another blast of lightning illuminated the room and she turned her face into the cushions, humiliated by their position. She wasn’t any better than the women Perry used. Not to Joshua. Mate or not, he took her where he wanted and cared nothing for the situation afterward.

Of course, neither had she.

Still intimately connected to her, he seemed to sense her withdrawal. But instead of demanding some kind of resolution, he gently stroked her hair, his lips trailing a path down her cheek. The tenderness almost unraveled her. He was her mate, the man she was fated to love and the Beast she was destined to tame.

Yet her heart was desolate and cold, even in the warmth of his lovemaking. Ten long years of waiting and wanting had not made this an easy victory. Her momentary capitulation had been only to satisfy the lust within her, a lust that had grown unbearable since he’d come home.

He sighed heavily. “How long will you hate me, little flower?” he asked her.

She glared up at him, her pussy still filled with him, her senses still spinning. “You expect miracles?”

He slid a finger down her face. “You are a miracle.” His exploration continued and goose bumps rose on her skin where he touched her. “I’d hoped I could prove that my feelings are unchanged.”

“Mine, however, are changed,” she insisted. Deliberately, she set out to deceive him as her pride demanded she should. He could not know how desperately and deeply she loved him. Her feelings
had
changed. That young girl he’d married had had no concept of love. The abiding love that had grown did not resemble the childish yearnings she’d begun with.

He seemed unfazed by her declaration. “Then I must do what I can to win you,” he said softly.

She snorted. “What man courts a woman he’s already bedded?”

“A man who has much to make up for.”

So much of her wanted to believe him. But her heart had long since ceased to trust anything. Certainly any courting he did wouldn’t resemble their innocent whisperings when they were young. And not to know exactly what to expect made her extremely nervous.

“Do not presume to know me,” she said. It might have seemed disconnected from their conversation, but he seemed to follow her train of thought.

He gazed at her steadily. “Then show me, Elizabeth.”

It would have been so easy to do as he asked, to take the risk, to let this sexual connection be the basis for something more. Her body had already surrendered, giving all to this man who seemed to know so much about her needs.

But all around them in this house were reasons to reject him. People Joshua had abandoned, left to suffer, had depended on her because he had forced her to accept this bond. He had counted on her heart to lead and it had.

Was what he asked now any different? If her heart led her again, would she finally have peace or just more suffering?

No. He wanted too much from her. “No.”

His face twisted in a brief flash of pain but he nodded. “All right, little flower.”

She wanted to scream, to rail against him as he broke their physical connection. He rose from the divan and she expected him to dress, leaving her sprawled on the cushions like a broken doll.

Instead he picked up his dress coat from the floor where he’d discarded it and held it out to her. “Put this on. You’ll get cold.”

She didn’t trust his easy capitulation but she took the coat and stood up. It smelled like him, wild and musky. She retrieved her shredded clothing and tears welled in her eyes. The strands of material reminded her of their love. Once intact and pretty, now a mass of tangled threads and unrecognizable patches.

When Joshua swept her off her feet and into his arms she squeaked in surprise. “What are you doing?”

“Carrying you.”

“I’m perfectly capable of walking.” She wanted to struggle but the warmth of his embrace seeped into her very soul.

“My coat is too long for you,” he stated as he carried her through the door of the library. “You might fall.”

He walked slowly, his muscles tight and bunched. She peeked up at his face. He was so difficult to read now. When he’d been young, she’d been able to guess his thoughts, read the pain he held secret in his features. But now he was more self-assured and she didn’t know if it was an act or just his arrogance.

They reached her bedchamber and he set her on her feet. She kept her gaze on the toes of his boots. “Thank you, my lord.”

His large hands gripped the lapels of the coat that enveloped her. He hauled her upward, his mouth taking possession of hers. His kiss was insistent, coaxing but dominating. Her hands crept up and held him closer.

Slowly, he released her, his lips lingering gently. “I’m here, Elizabeth. I’m not going anywhere.”

She met his steady stare, her pulse hammering wildly, her body ready and willing to give him anything he wanted. Each time he touched her, she reached the edge of the cliff, close to jumping off and throwing caution to the wind. But to surrender to him, to allow him to own her heart again, risked too much.

He asked for trust but gave none. He wanted her love but made no declarations himself. In short, he demanded everything but gave nothing. She stiffened and slid the coat off her naked body to hand it to him. “Goodnight, my lord.”

She slipped inside her bedroom door and shut it in his face, feeling like she was shutting out a piece of her heart. As she leaned against the door, she wondered if he still stood behind it.

Then a heartrending sound ripped the volatile air of the house. Joshua’s Beast howled, an eerie and desperate sound that echoed through the corridors and slashed her heart to shreds.

Her tears finally fell and she pressed the heel of her hands to her eyes. His Beast expressed the pain Joshua hid, its long-mourning sound revealing the heart of the man. It took every ounce of her strength not to fling open the door and accept the offerings of that Beast. And what would it get her? Pleasure, perhaps, but nothing else.

Joshua had wanted to come home and start where they’d left off as children, but that was impossible. As she crawled into her cold bed, the darkness enveloping her, she had never felt so alone in her whole life.

Chapter Eight

Breakfast the next morning was uncomfortable for Elizabeth. Melinda was sullen and unhappy, the time of her departure nearing and her attitude suffering. Twice she snapped at Gerry, her vicious tongue lashing the boy.

Joshua had not arrived and Sara informed Elizabeth that his bed was empty. Perry was still missing.

While Melinda’s tongue wagged, her complaints long and varied, Elizabeth’s mind wandered. Where was Joshua? Had he gone out looking for Perry? Had he finally left for good? The food on her plate held no appeal and suddenly she couldn’t sit at the same table as Melinda. When she rose, Melinda abruptly stopped talking. “Where are you going?”

“Please excuse me, cousin. I am not feeling well.” She fled the dining room, her stomach indeed rolling.

She grabbed a shawl and headed for the stable. Halfway there, she remembered that Shadow, her comfort and her companion, was dead. Elizabeth tightened her lips and clenched her fists. Damn this killer.

The murders threatened to rip her little world apart. The perpetrator seemed to have targeted the members of her household and she had violent feelings toward the mysterious creature. Was Perry doing these horrible things?

Botter stood up in surprise, his pipe quickly hidden behind his back. “My lady,” he said. His gaze darted to Shadow’s empty stall.

“Saddle me a horse, Botter,” she demanded. She didn’t care what horse, as long as it could gallop.

“Yes, my lady.” Botter immediately began to lead Melinda’s small brown mare out of its stall.

“No, Botter. That horse will not do.” She tapped her foot and crossed her arms.

The man’s face crumpled in a dark frown. “There’s the new black, but—”

“Saddle him. I want a ride, not a country stroll.” She usually wasn’t so insistent, so demanding, but this morning she didn’t want arguments from the stable man.

Botter led the new male black out and saddled him. Elizabeth studied the horse. Yes, this one was skittish and it would be dangerous to give him his head as she used to give Shadow. But her mare had been a heart in concert with Elizabeth’s. No horse could replace her.

“What’s his name?” She should have known but had forgotten, the horse having been purchased for Perry over six months earlier.

“Thunder,” Botter answered.

Her stable hand’s short answer told Elizabeth that Botter was hurt and offended by her attitude. She sighed. She pinned her skirts out of her way and stepped into the saddle. The horse snorted restlessly.

She gazed down at Botter. “I’m sorry, my friend. I didn’t mean to be unpleasant to you.”

He glanced up at her, concern in every line of his face. “He rode out this morning like the devil hisself was after ’im. I didn’t like the look of it.”

She nodded. “I upset him, I believe. Don’t worry, Botter.”

“You be careful, my lady.”

With a snap, she urged Thunder to gallop toward the moor. The wind had blown the storm away and the moor smelled fresh from the rain. Mud splattered Thunder’s legs as he pounded across the soggy landscape.

Elizabeth loved the feel of the air on her face, the rushing wind as she and the horse flew over brush and bramble. Thunder seemed to match her mood, his speed increasing. The morning light was muted through the gray clouds that still lingered.

The sound of pounding hooves reached her ears and another horse galloped beside her. It was Joshua’s. Bent over his horse’s neck, he resembled a dark apparition of intensity and danger. Elizabeth laughed and spurred her horse faster.

This time Joshua didn’t stop her but met her at every jump, every dodge. The two horses seemed to be in concert, their flying leaps taking her breath away. Then she reached a crumbling wall, the remnants of some past boundary, and Thunder balked. When he reared, she held him fast, unwilling to allow him to throw her from her saddle. He squealed, but she gripped the reins grimly.

Finally Thunder quieted and she leaned closer to speak softly in his ear. Thunder snorted and remained still.

“Why do risk your life that way?” Joshua snapped, his face flushed.

The truth? Did he really want the truth? “Because it’s mine to risk,” she said, knowing that didn’t answer the question.

Joshua dismounted and strode toward her horse. She should have made Thunder run, getting away from the man who had destroyed her peace of mind. Instead, she sat frozen. “This from the woman who berates me for my abandonment of her?” His tone was harsh.

He reached her side and jerked the reins from her hand. “Enough.” As fast as a striking snake, he yanked her out of the saddle.

Fear ripped through her and she jerked her body to get away from him but he wouldn’t release her. To her shock, he dragged her back to his horse and removed some rough rope from his saddle bag. “This will move things along. But not here.”

She pulled against his hold. “Stop this, Joshua. Your name is already synonymous with scandal because of Perry. If you force me…” She swallowed. She couldn’t finish, not because of the fear that made her pulse skitter but because the thought of the strands of rope digging into her flesh excited her as well. She closed her eyes. She was a fool.

“Mount my horse and I’ll save the rope for when we have privacy. Fight me and I’ll truss you up like a newborn calf.” He dangled the rope in front of her and tears blurred her vision. What could she do? Her desire to escape still beat in her blood, but she couldn’t fight him and herself. She loved him. She’d given him everything ten years earlier and nothing had changed.