“We can find a way to ignore her illusions…there has to be a way.”
“I’m telling you, baby, reality is hard to grasp in that realm. You feel everything...you’ve felt so real to me every time I saw you, but you were never really there.”
“Then we have to make a decision to love one another, no matter what we see – get over the jealousy we both fight.”
“Easier said than done,” he said as his jaw locked once again.
“I won’t let it rule me anymore if you make the same promise.”
He leaned down and let his lips touch my forehead, making a silent promise to me. I knew that if he were to keep his promise, we were going to have to learn to talk about Silas without my guilt and his jealousy surfacing.
“What did he say about Silas?” I daringly whispered.
He laid his head down next to me. I knew he was growing too tired to be angry, which was a good thing. I knew that when he was this calm, I could not only convince him to do anything, I could also get him to talk to me about things that he’d normally avoid.
Just after he yawned, he said, “That he’s our mortal enemy. That his kind takes our life by taking our source of energy: the lost souls. That he’s the fiercest one of his kind. That he’d do anything in his power to end the both of us. He blames us for taking you from him...it seems that the two of you couldn’t be more opposite, yet at one time you were completely devoted to him.”
I could see the envy flooding to the surface of his eyes, and I had to stop it. “You do realize that you may as well be telling me a fairy tale, right? You’re the only man I know, the only one that allows me to be what I want to be when I want to be it.”
The envy in his eyes washed away. “I told myself that even if that were true, somewhere in time you chose me – and left him.”
“Right,” I whispered with a slight smile.
“Britain made it seem like the both of us were nothing more than a charity case to you then. He said that we were now addicted to your power, and sooner or later we’d pull from it just to sustain life in this world. The moment we did that, Silas would have reason and cause to end us.”
“I heard Silas say the same thing - but that’s not gonna happen, at least not for you. I don’t know if I can trust Britain or not; my focus is on you.”
Draven reached his fingertips for my eyes and began to trace them. “I think he’s falling for Madison.”
“Did he say that?” I asked, growing more convinced that there was more going on between them than I realized.
“Not in so many words. She was there with me, and he couldn’t keep his eyes off her. He was saying how remarkable it was that I’d lived so closely to so many powerful lights without feeling the temptation to draw on their power. He told us that Madison’s light in that dream world matched yours, that he remembered her soul from long ago, and that they’d fought before but never found the cause to end the existence of each other. He said he didn’t realize who she was until a few months ago, when she began to plague his dreams.”
“He haunts hers,” I said, knowing that Madison had no idea why she dreamed of Britain or that other guy and would rather avoid sleep than try to understand them.
“I don’t know…it was easy to see he had feelings for her. At one point, it felt like he was asking me for permission to see her.”
“Smart man. Did you tell him he had to clear it with Aden, too?” I teased.
A sleepy smile came to the corners of his lips. “No. I’ll let him figure that one out on his own. I was too worried about finding you.”
“So Britain has been replaced by Silas?” I said to myself as I made a mental note not to worry about him anymore.
Draven’s jaw tightened. “In one perspective, but not the other.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean that Britain said that he won’t be able to stop himself from pulling your power before long, that your light is like an addiction to him. He said that once he attempts that, I’ll have an instinct to claim your power as my own - and that act will give Silas the reason he needs.”
“Then I’m gonna have to figure out how not to tempt anyone with this so-called light – or find a way for Britain to draw it from somewhere else.”
A moment of clarity came over me. “Wait - why couldn’t Madison help him? If she helps him and I help you, then Silas will have no reason – and we can go back to the way things were, where we help the shadows.”
“I don’t think she’s ready for that....he makes her nervous....maybe nervous is the wrong word....she doesn’t act like herself around him - she’s to guarded.”
“I’m her best friend; I would know that, not you. You and Aden have been too busy blocking anyone from being with her; now, you have no excuse. There’s someone that knows what she is and how important what we do is.”
“You may be her best friend, but I’ve seen her in that realm. She’s afraid of her power and even more afraid to give her heart away. She doesn’t trust herself or anyone else.”
“That’s just the Scorpio in her. She wants to understand what can’t be explained. She tried to get me to go to yoga today – yoga,” I said, raising my eyebrows.
My awkward expression made him laugh. “She’s just trying to find her own way in. She doesn’t like drifting through the memories of others; she feels likes she’s invading their privacy.”
My eyes drifted to the guitars across the stage. “One day, I need to convince her to play; that way, she could use the way you’ve found.”
“Music isn’t in her soul like yours…art is her gift.”
“You’d think she would try and find a way there though that gift.”
“I asked her to, but she doesn’t want to. She said that music is alive and art is the echo of what was alive. I think she’s afraid she won’t find her way back; that’s why I’m telling you that she isn’t ready for someone like Britain or anything that we’re going through.”
“I’ll talk to her tomorrow – today – when I see her,” I said as I realized that this had to have become one of the longest days of my life.
We laid in silence for a while. I then glanced to my side at him to find his eyes closed. I moved closer to him, laid my head on his chest, and listened to his innocent breaths.
“This is my plan: we’ll finish that song and have a concert. If it works, good; if not, oh well. We’re out of here at that point,” I whispered.
I felt his arms tighten around me. “Good plan,” he whispered.
I looked up to see his eyes still closed. I laid my head back down and started to play out the chords of the part of the song I’d written in my mind. I’d let him sleep for now - but as soon as he woke, we were going to finish this.
Chapter Thirteen
The feeling of someone squeezing my ankle pulled me out of the dream I was having. I didn’t even know that I’d fallen asleep; I’d never stopped thinking about the sound I was trying to make stronger. I opened my eyes to see Evan at our feet.
“What time is it?” I asked as I yawned.
“Just after seven,” he said as his eyes moved to Draven, who was still sound asleep. “Is he in pain?” he asked me.
“Last night, he said he was sore, but nothing past that,” I answered as I sat up. I was embarrassed about lying next to Draven in front of his father.
“I don’t know if that’s good or bad,” he mumbled.
“How could it be good?”
“When it stops hurting him, that means he’s beginning to accept the darkness that’s coming into him; sore is a downgrade to what he’s been complaining about. I just hope he was being tough for your sake,” Evan answered as he reached to squeeze Draven’s arm to wake him up.
Draven jerked away in his sleep, then sat up, startled, trying to remember where he was. When his eyes met mine, he calmed down instantly. He didn’t seem bothered by his dad being there either.
“Scale of one to ten?” Evan asked him as he handed him a bottle of water.
Draven looked shyly at me, then to his dad. “Twenty.”
Evan smiled. “That means you fought hard; take that as a win, son.” Evan reached in his pocket, then handed Draven two pills and looked at me. “Your mother is looking for you.”
“She’s home?” I asked as the feeling of being in trouble instantly came to me; it then went away as I remembered I was mad at her – mad that she never told me about her light or that my dad was dark and that she knew all of this would explode in my face one day.
“No. She’s been calling you all night, though.”
I didn’t even know where my bag was; I was almost sure I’d left it in Draven’s Hummer.
“Why don’t you two go home, get cleaned up, and get some food?” Evan said as he stood. “You need to get back here as soon as you can,” he warned as he locked eyes with Draven. “It’s gonna take a lot of work to get ready for this concert tomorrow.”
“What concert?” I asked as anticipation rippled through me.
“Thanks, Dad,” Draven said, then stood and reached to help me up.
“What – was it a surprise? I don’t know that it would have remained one; the entire town is talking about Charlie’s Birthday Concert.”
“My birthday is Sunday.”
“Right – so I was gonna surprise you with a concert on Saturday,” Draven said, throwing a dirty look at his dad.
“The concert?” I asked as I raised my eyebrows.
“Maybe. At the very least, a trial run…to see how close we could get.”
Evan’s eyes moved between us, then to the ground. “Just make sure whatever door you open, you know how to close; that’s all I’m asking.”
Draven reached his hand for mine, then pulled me to walk away as he mumbled, “The door’s already open.”
The front hall was full of countless construction workers. They were painting over the school’s old mascots and taking out the old lockers. As soon as they saw us leave the auditorium, a few of them made their way in there to finish preparing that room to safely hold people.
Draven held my hand tighter as we moved through the hall and down the front steps. When I climbed in his truck, I found my bag on the floor board and reached for it to find my phone. It was dead. There was no way for me to know what my mom may have said to me through text or voice mail. I pushed down the fear of being in trouble and held on to the anger I had; that was the only way I’d be able to fight the anxiety that was threatening to take over me.
The early morning was gray and foggy, and you could smell distant fireplaces burning. I reached to turn the heat up in the truck just as Draven did. I smiled shyly at him.
“Why didn’t you tell me you were in pain?” I asked as I moved closer to him.
His cheeks flushed slightly; I wasn’t sure if it was from embarrassment or the anger that I knew what he was struggling with. “I don’t want you to worry about me.”
“Too late – I always worry about you.”
“For once, I want to be the one to take care of you. Let me do that before someone else proves to be better at that than me,” he said as his eyes moved to what was once the school’s football field off to the left side of the parking lot.
Curiously, I followed his stare. Though the fog was dense along the dying grass, I saw thousands upon thousands of white butterflies. As if they knew I’d seen them, they began to fly in one large, rapid circle. In the center of them was a tall, lean man. I didn’t have to see him clearly through the fog to know that it was Silas.
“Do you still want to go home?” Draven asked in a low, firm tone.
My gaze left the majestic display that Silas was performing for me and met Draven’s. “I’m going with you - whether that be home or anywhere else.”
He didn’t smile, but I saw relief in his eyes as he reached for my hand. As always, his touch hummed and sent an electrifying emotion through my body. I refused to look at the field as we drove by…I swear I could feel an unbelievable sadness emanating from that direction, but I had no choice but to ignore it; I didn’t want to hurt anyone, but right now it was clear to me that Draven was not only more vulnerable, he was also the one I wanted to be with - now and forever.
As we drove to my house, I shifted through the tracks on the CD he was playing. I knew he always listened to what he was working on as he drove; it helped him think of how to take a song to the next level. I was looking for the song he refused to play for me last night, the one he said that what I was working on would go perfectly with. Every track on the disc was one that I’d heard before.
My frustration must have been apparent in my expression because Draven smiled slightly as he raised my hand to his lips. “Just let me make it perfect before you hear it,” he said quietly just before I felt him kiss my hand.
I closed my eyes as I felt his touch. Any anger I could have had was washed away by his simple request.
Draven often wrote alone. He’d lock himself away and ‘fight the beast’; that’s what he called his creative flow. I really didn’t care for such an ugly reference to his talent, but he used that word because when he had an idea for a song, it would haunt his every thought until it was written – perfected. He told me once that it was his beast because it took him away from me for long periods of time. I think that’s why I wasn’t too worried about how distant he’d been over the last month or so; I thought he was writing - and I had no idea that a real beast had invaded his life.