Without Limits: Austin (Rugged Riders Book 4) (2 page)

M
onday rolled around quickly
. After spending the entire weekend, reminiscing on all the bad decisions I’d made over the past several years and drowning my sorrows in chocolate and wine, I started off the week rough. I was a hopeless wreck, but if there was one thing that motivated me more than being surrounded my patterns, fabrics, and spools of thread, it was making enough money to make ends meet. I didn’t have time to wallow. There was work to be done. And neither Rick nor anyone else was going to stop me this time.

Rebecca had already called me this morning to let me know that she’d be in a little later to close the shop. She would probably be here at any moment demanding a reason for me not showing up on Sunday. I felt kind of bad for flaking out on the pool party, but I wasn’t up for pretending I was in a really good mood when I really wasn’t. And Rick’s bitch move had turned my whole weekend upside down. I had to admit that I hated seeing Austin’s dinner invite ripped to shreds.

“I’m looking for something a little less…revealing,” the customer said, as I followed her down a row of evening gowns. “I understand you have custom work too.”

“Yes, of course.” I nodded and led the woman over to a display of my newest evening gowns. “I can hand sew just about any design here in the store if you’re looking for a little more customization.”

“I think I’d like that. Do you mind if I look around for a bit at some of the dresses you’ve sewn?”

“Sure. Let me bring you some catalogs to look at too.”

As I left the customer to move to the front of the store where I stashed my booklets near the cash register, the door chimed again. As I always do, I glanced up with a bright smile to greet what I suspected was another customer.

Instead, Austin Clark stood in my doorway. His presence took my breath away. Partly because I hadn’t seen him in person in years, and partly because he was fine as hell. He held a motorcycle helmet in one arm and the other hung by his side. He was dressed down in a rugged looking pair of jeans that hugged his muscular thighs and a white t-shirt, which was pulled taut across his chest. Almost every inch of his arms was covered in tattoos. His hair was disheveled and tossed around as if he’d torn off his helmet and hadn’t even attempted to straighten up his appearance. Austin hadn’t changed one bit since the day he left town. He’d aged some, but most of it was in the way he carried himself. He was confidant and poised, like he’d spent years mastering the art of posing for candid shots for fans and tabloids. I’d seen the headlines and the news about his victories and losses.

My lungs burned, reminding me that I hadn’t taken one breath since he entered my store. I let it all rush out at once and gripped the edge of the counter as my instincts to run, hide, and avoid took over me. But it was too late. His gaze found me easily in the small shop.

His lips spread into a knowing lopsided grin as he walked into my direction.

Oh, God. Why was he here? Why now? Why me?

“Valerie Maguire,” he said when he reached the counter.

“Austin Clark.”

His mahogany colored eyes pierced my very soul, taking in every part of me.

“What are you doing here,” I asked. I did my best to hide my nervousness and my surprise. I had no idea that he’d just show up out of the blue like this. I pictured our meeting together would be much more formal…and planned. But then I remembered that Austin was always spontaneous.

“I’m not here looking for a dress. I can tell you that.”

I rolled my eyes. “Obviously. So… have you come to collect first payment on the loan? If so, I thought I had a few more days to pay it. It’s not the first of the month yet.”

His expression turned serious. “Do you really think I came here to harass you for money?”

“Well…”

“The reason why I offered the loan to you and your shop was that I actually wanted to help you. I knew you wouldn’t accept a cash handout from me or anyone else.”

“True,” I said. “Why did you want to help me?”

“I owe it to you,” he said.

“No, you don’t.”

“Yes, I do. Do you still think I broke my promise to you?”

I shook my head. “What promise?”

He cocked his head to one side and laughed a little. “I’m surprised you don’t remember. I’m a little hurt actually.”

“Are you talking about promises we made before you skipped town? Look, we were both young back then. I didn’t expect you to make decisions with your brain.” I grabbed up the catalog and started to walk from behind the counter.

“What did you expect me to make them with?” He moved into my path, preventing my escape from him.

“Your dick. Just like you and all the other men with mountain-sized egos.”

He seemed taken back by my blunt comment, but I wasn’t the shy insecure girl he left for bigger and better things. I was a changed woman and I did and said what I wanted. I stepped around him, but he touched my forearm. It was enough to make me pause again.

“I’m so very sorry, Valerie,” he said. “Is that what you want to hear?”

“Nothing you do or tell me can take back the way I felt about how you left without a word.”

“No,” he said, softly. “Maybe not. But I hope you’d like to hear about my decision from me. And not just the tabloids or the newspapers or Rick.”

At the mention of Rick’s name, I met his gaze and saw a glimmer of disappointment in them. Plus, the way he said the name of his most trusted friend from high school sounded like he was feeling indifferent about that situation too—as he should be. After all, I did marry Rick within the year after he left.

“You’re four years too late,” I said.

He focused his gaze on the floor for a short while and then looked up at me again. “Am I, Valerie?”

“Why are you even here? Back in town?”

“Business matters. And personal matters,” he said. “My uncle died and his estate was left in a mess. I’m the heir. The only heir actually.”

I sighed. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t know.”

He shrugged. “Yeah, not many people know. They still believe that I was just some homeless kid without parents roaming the streets.”

“This must be rough for you.”

“It is. It was my first time having to plan a funeral. I’m good at planning other things. Not a funeral, though. It went well. About ten people showed up, mostly my Rugged brothers, including myself.”

“Austin, why didn’t you tell me? You knew I would’ve come.”

“I did, but I don’t think you got the memo,” he said.

I glanced at him questioningly.

“My assistant told me the letter came back with Return to Sender stamped on it.”

“If you sent it to our old house, I no longer live there. Rick and I…we agreed to sell the home. The profits were needed to settle some other debts.”

“You mean Rick’s debts?”

I looked around the store, lowered my voice, and asked, “You know about that?”

He nodded.

Suddenly, I remembered that I had a customer waiting. “Austin, I have to get back to my work. There’s a customer in the back.”

“Sure.”

“I…um…thank you for helping me out at the last minute. I would’ve lost more than my sanity had this shop been taken away from me. I’ve been putting everything into my sewing craft for the last few years and I don’t know would I have would have done if I came out a failure.”

“Don’t mention it. And you’re not a failure at all. You just had a minor set back, that’s all.”

“Minor? What I went through was hardly minor.”

“When I came to town to visit my sick uncle in the hospital right before his death, I got word about your divorce from Rick.”

“Oh? Well, this is a small circle. Word gets around fast.”

“I have my sources when it comes to news and gossip in my hometown,” he said. “But I do have some catching up to do. I was hoping we could discuss other things…about us.”

“About us?”

“Yeah, about us. I want to make things right with you. If that’s the last thing I do before I have to leave for this next business trip, I’ll do whatever it takes.”

I swallowed. “You’re leaving again? So soon?”

“My life depends on it. A guy has must eat, so my work does go on…and on and on. And plus I gave up fast easy money. I’m sure you heard the news about my retirement from NASCAR.”

“I did. Well don’t let me keep you waiting around. I have business too. My life depends on it. And I wouldn’t want to renege on our agreement by missing a loan payment to you.”

“Valerie, don’t…” he said, quietly.

“Stop, Austin,” I replied. “I’ll never move as fast as you want me too. I prefer my normal life here or maybe in some other small town where I can start over. And at this point in my life, I’m just not up for anything unstable. I hope you have a good business trip. I’m glad I got to talk to you before you left again.”

“Valerie…”

I wanted to turn back around. I really did. Maybe if there wasn’t a customer in the shop, I would have. But I didn’t. Austin Clark would never be the stable man he promised me he would be. He wasn’t meant to be tied down to one woman. After his departure from town four years ago, his reputation preceded him. He was a bad boy, promiscuous, and hardly ever stayed in the same city. I wasn’t going to get my hopes up because when everything was all said and done, Austin would just leave town again. Again and again. Without me.

I
desperately needed
an entire re-do of this whole entire week. As I rode the bus into the city, I processed the last few months of my life wondering which person I had crossed or disappointed enough to be subject to such bad karma. Not only had my car not started this morning, but also I had just under an hour to get a check to the Zyken Partners office or I’d have to pay a late penalty. It wasn’t really the late fee that had me gripping the edge of the bus seat and tapping the floor in anticipation of the next stop, it was the thought of being late on a loan. Not just any loan either. A personal one.

I wondered if Austin’s return to town had more to do with shoving my losses back in face. Austin had come a long way and the tables had certainly turned. I was only six months shy of my high school graduation when I met him over five years ago. He was four years older than me and out of my league. Even older women and college girls were throwing themselves at him back then. I automatically thought he was off limits, but after weeks of stopping by to visit me after I got off from work at the shopping center, he began to grow on me. I realized that I looked forward to meeting him after work and going for rides on the back of his motorcycle despite my parent’s warnings about him. But no matter how much they warned me about him, I still fell for Austin.

And soon, I was the one riding out to the side of town where he lived to visit him at the car shop he worked at. He and his uncle both worked there and Rick’s family owned the place. I met Rick through Austin and learned that they were best friends. They were only a year apart and loved doing much of the same things, so they got each other. Rick had the luxury of helping his dad oversee all of his family’s businesses and many times he’d be lurking around or doing the bookkeeping whenever I came out to see Austin. It was only natural that we went to parties and events together. It was only after Austin left that Rick revealed that he’d always wanted me and that he felt like the broken third wheel during our outings. He even complained that Austin’s MC club had never accepted him.

Although they had much in common, Austin and Rick were complete opposites where other things were concerned. Rick came from money and he was well known and respected in town. Austin lived on the outskirts of the city in a rundown apartment building with his uncle. He had his love of cars and motorcycles. When he wasn’t out on a ride with his Rugged crew or working at the car repair shop, we were together. Days before Austin was supposed to be my date to prom, my dad found out about us, tracked me all the way down to the body shop, and caught us in a heated moment behind the shop. It only took a few days to pull up Austin’s criminal adolescent past. They didn’t see what I saw in him and persuaded me from seeing him. They even had a cop follow me home from work for over a week. With no date for the prom, Rick stepped in almost too willingly. But I could never stay away from Austin. Without my parent’s knowledge, I continued seeing him for several months until Austin decided to leave town at the drop of a dime with a few crappy explanations to give me. I was devastated and wished I’d listened to my parents.

The bus halted abruptly in front of the next stop and I lurched forward. Just before I exited the bus, I glanced down at the time on my phone. Realizing that I had just under thirty minutes until the office closed for the day, I ignored the throbbing pain in my feet and high-tailed it through the throng of folks departing work down the sidewalk.

It took me fifteen minutes to reach the high-rise building that housed dozens of different business offices, including Zyken Partners. I passed the security guards with a smile and a waved and entered the first available elevators. The first time I’d been in the 11
^th
floor suite that belonged to Zyken Partners, I was surprised at how small and cozy the office was. It had taken my lawyer and me less than an hour to sign all the initial paperwork to secure the loan that day. At the time, only two employees were working that day, so the process had gone smooth and uninterrupted. And of course, I had no idea that Austin had ownership stake in Zyken. The main Zyken corporate offices were located somewhere in California since, according to the tabloids, that’s where he called home when it wasn’t racing season. But apparently, this branch had been here in the city for more than a few years.

Suite 1110 was at the end of the hall and I paged the receptionist using the intercom on the door. As always, the small office unit was kept locked and the agents there were only available by appointment. There was a mail slot located on the door, but stuffing the check inside at the eleventh hour wasn’t enough assurance that my loan account would be credited in time for payment.

Bernadette, the receptionist, finally opened the door on the second buzz with her belongings in her arm. “I knew I heard someone buzzing us.” She glanced down at her wristwatch. “I was just closing up.”

“I know I’m a little late. I’m so sorry, but I needed to make sure my payment would be processed in time.”

Bernadette frowned. “You know you could have paid that online, right? No need to waste gas and time coming out all this way.”

“I know, but I had a deposit that didn’t hit my account until after three o’clock and the form said the payment wouldn’t debit my account until the next business day.”

“Okay,” she said, reluctantly. “Next time that happens, just call us. Come on in and I’ll get this processed for you.”

“Thank you so much, Bernadette. I really appreciate it.”

As she was bent over her laptop, logging my payment, a door down the hall opened and closed.

“Bernadette? I thought you were le—”

Austin came to a halt in the main lobby area, almost just as shocked to see me as I was to discover that he was here.

“Yeah, I was, Mr. Clark. Ms. Maguire caught me just in time”

“Valerie?”

“Austin.”

Bernadette looked back and forth between us as if she detected the tension between us. She took a paper off the printer and handed it to me. “Here you go. Receipt and confirmation number. Late fee avoided. Can I help you with anything else, Ms. Maguire?”

“No, thank you,” I said.

“I’ll help Valerie, Ms. Murray. I know you have to pick up your kids from school,” Austin told her.

“Well…” Bernadette grabbed her handbag and her keys. “I’m only a phone call away if you need anything before morning, Mr. Clark. I’m going to head out before I get caught up in traffic.”

“This is a surprise,” Austin said when we were alone in the suite.

“I ran into some issues and didn’t want to be late on my loan payment. Last couple of times I paid, Bernadette told me you rarely ever came here. Only for meetings.”

“She’s right. I’ve been mostly working out of my hotel room, but I needed a change of scenario after doing most of my busy work in a stuffy hotel room. The skyline view from the conference room is amazing.”

I adjusted my heavy purse over my shoulder and shifted my weight from one three-inch heel to the next. “I know. My lawyer and I closed the loan in there. Did you deliberately hide from me that you owned this firm?”

“Not deliberately,” he said. “But I had reason to believe you knew it was coming from me that you’d say no. I learned about the pending sale on the unit at the very last minute. With time being an issue, I thought you might want to make an unbiased decision.”

I narrowed my gaze. “Don’t you think that’s a little deceptive?”

“I eventually knew you would find out. I wanted to be the one to tell you, but word gets around quickly.”

“You have a lot of say in what the firm does then?”

“I kind of make decisions at an arms-length for Zyken. I oversee things, but I don’t run it. I have other ventures to worry about too.”

“Like what? Your casinos?”

He smiled. “You’ve been doing your research.”

“You’re a busy investor.”

“So, how did you acquire a firm like Zyken?”

“It’s a joint venture between me and Sean Brooks. One of my Rugged brothers. You remember him right?”

“Yeah.” I nodded. “Really good looking. Nice teeth. Flawless brown complexion. Swimsuit model material.”

Austin chuckled. “Sounds like you remember him very well.”

“I just remember that you two were really good friends too. He has the family in Virginia, right?”

“Yep. He retired not too long ago and moved back to Atlanta though.”

“Then you both retired?”

“That’s right. I retired the season after Sean did,” he replied.

“So no more easy money right?”

“Exactly. I just do what I have to. Invest, acquire, and profit where I can.”

“You’ve done very well for yourself. If you’d told me that this is what you had in mind for the future, I probably wouldn’t have believed you.”

He frowned. “Lots of folks think I wasn’t cut out for this, you know, managing money and business and stuff, so I can understand your rational behind that.”

“I didn’t mean it that way. I remember you talked about going to work for a big car dealership, but you ended up at NASCAR instead. That decision and you leaving threw me for a loop. And everyone else you left behind.” After throwing the subtle hint to him that I was still a bit disgruntled by him bailing, I took a step back. “So…I guess I should be leaving now.”

Austin chuckled softly. “You know, I think you and I need to have that talk. I don’t think I’ve made my intentions clear. We weren’t always this formal with each other.”

I don’t know why an image of us between silken sheets came back to me at that moment, but it did. My whole entire face heated and I rubbed nervously at the back of my neck.

“Have the talk about what? When you turned your back, you made your intentions clear.”

“I made a mistake and I own up to that. I’m sorry that I was too stupid to believe that I couldn’t give you the world like you deserved,” he said.

“Austin, I never wanted the world. I was perfectly happy with what I had,” I said before I could stop myself.

He took my free hand in his and I let him. “I need your forgiveness, Valerie. No matter how hard I forced myself to believe that you weren’t meant for me, I couldn’t do it. All these years, I wanted so badly to come back to you.”

“Why didn’t you?”

He caught my gaze, making direct eye contact with me. “You were so happy with someone else.”

I swallowed. “Rick and I…we were friends. And I…”

“Look, you don’t have to explain to me why you fell in love with my best friend. It happened and now it’s over with.”

“Yes.” I looked down at my shoes. “It’s over.”

He tipped my chin upward with a gentle stroke of his fingertips. “But you can’t tell me that you weren’t happy. Finally, your dreams came true and he gave you the fairytale wedding that you’d always wanted.”

I remembered it like yesterday. What woman wouldn’t remember her very first wedding?

“The horse and carriage. Hundreds of white calla lilies. Releasing the doves and then jumping the broom.”

“How did you…?”

He diverted his gaze for a split second.

“You were there?” I asked.

He nodded.

“I…” I shook my head. “I didn’t see you.”

“I stayed through the ceremony, but left before your reception. With nearly two hundred people there and given why the ceremony was being held in the first place, I doubt you would have seen me there.” He chuckled. “It was a reminder of what I could have had with you. I needed to see that.”

“Austin, I didn’t mean for you to see that and throw it up in your face like that.”

“No?” He shrugged. “But Rick did. He sent me and invite and I decided I didn’t want to be a sore loser so I came.”

I sighed.

“It’s getting late,” he said, motioning towards the corner windows.

“Yes, I need to leave before the bus service stops.”

“Bus service?”

“My car wouldn’t start this morning. It’s the reason why I’m in here paying this loan at the eleventh hour.”

“You rode the bus here?” he asked, his eyes widening in disbelief.

“Yeah.”

“Why?”

“Because it was my only alternative. We rode the bus together all the time remember. Actually, I learned those ropes from you.” I grinned.

He smiled. “Let me take you to dinner.”

I shook my head and raised my arms. “Look at me. I’ve been dressed in my work clothes since this morning and I look a mess.”

“No, you don’t. You look perfect.”

“Austin…?”

“It doesn’t have to be anywhere formal. What about the Sub Shop? That’s still your favorite, right?”

“It is, but can I take a rain check? Not only do I look a mess, despite what you say, I’m so very tired.”

“Sure. I wish you had called me. I would’ve taken care of everything.”

“But I don’t do handouts, remember?” I teased.

“Right? So where’s your car now?”

“At my apartment. It wouldn’t start and I probably won’t figure out what’s wrong with it until this weekend when I can get it to the shop.”

“I can have my mechanic look at it for you. They’ll also tow it for free.”

“I…”

Austin held up his hand. “I insist. What’s your address?”

Reluctantly, I gave Austin my address and make and model of my vehicle and within fifteen minutes he’d already confirmed that a mechanic would tow it to a shop to diagnose the issue.

“Now since you’ve turned me down once again for a date, why don’t I give you a ride home?” he asked. “Can I at least do that?”

“I’m not exactly dressed to ride on a motorcycle,” I said.

“All of my bikes are in storage at the moment. I’ve been driving a rental around town while I’m here.”

“Just promise to drive within the speed limits.”

“I think I can do that.”

After Austin locked up the office, we took the elevators down to the parking garage level to get to his car. As soon as I slid inside the BMW and onto the leather seats, I was wrapped up in Austin’s scent, which was a mixture of cologne, and his underlying signature scent. I would never forget it. The aroma reminded me of a mixture of sandalwood and freshly cut grass. It also brought back a lot of memories of me feeling safe and secure in his arms.