Read Winter Storm Online

Authors: Barbara Winkes

Tags: #Eternal Press, #winter, #Relationship, #Barbara Winkes, #GLBT, #Contemporary, #Romance, #women, #Coming out, #Autumn Leaves, #Lesbian, #Lesbian Romance, #womens fiction

Winter Storm (22 page)

“There wasn’t really time for this. By the way, do you know anyone who’s had ‘ex-gay therapy’?”

“Cal? That’s not funny. Did you take anything?”

“What?”

“Drugs. You sound like you’re…Never mind. Is there anyone with you?”

“What? Wait. It’s not what you think.”

“I’d like to convince myself of that in person. I was going to be in the area anyway, so why don’t I drop by and we talk?”

“We’re talking now. No, you don’t have to come. I don’t really have anything to show you except for a vague idea you won’t like, because it’s not about Vanessa and Sabine.”

“Count me in for dinner,” Asha said. “Looking forward to seeing you.”

Callie put the phone back into its station, shaking her head. She knew it was futile to call Asha back and try to make her change her mind, so she wouldn’t waste energy on that.

“What are you doing?”

At the sound of Rebecca’s voice, she nearly dropped the phone.

“I thought you might join us,” Rebecca clarified, her voice soft and heavy with sleep. “You must be exhausted.”

I wasn’t sure I was welcome.
Callie bit back the first, instinctive response.

“I was kind of wired. I could lie down for a bit.”

Rebecca smiled, her face now showing the traces of stress and fatigue. “Let’s do that then. Did Dina stay?”

“Yes. She went to nap in Maggie’s room.”

“I never really thanked you for getting rid of Father Reynolds.” Rebecca shook her head. “I don’t want to cause anyone trouble, but he’s a nuisance. I’d like to file a complaint.”

“Can you really complain for this?” Callie asked. She doubted that such a complaint would go far.

Rebecca looked at her with an emotion hard to discern, disappointment maybe or exasperation. If it was meant for her or Father Reynolds, Callie didn’t dare guess.

“I can complain about him intruding when I was scared out of my mind about my daughter. Let’s not talk about it now. I need a couple of hours of sleep more before I can even think about it.”

Callie followed her into the bedroom, and they lay down on either side of the still-sleeping girl.

“I meant it though. Thank you for being there for me. I don’t know what I would have done without you.”

“Where would I go?” Callie forced a smile, and Rebecca reached out to take her hand.

* * * *

The sensation of the soft kiss to her temple reached into her subconscious, but when Rebecca woke, she was alone, bolting upright in a moment of panic. Hearing voices from the kitchen, Dina, Maggie, Callie, relaxed her enough to sink back down into the cushions. She didn’t feel nearly rested enough. Rebecca was aware, though, that she wouldn’t get much more time until the night, too many things to deal with.

She’d wanted to settle, hoping for peaceful times, not drawing any more attention to her family and herself, but it wasn’t so easy.

The people she’d once trusted and confided in were mostly gone from her life, like Maria, Father Langdon, and Betty to some extent.

She had trusted David, but he’d been absent so often that she’d wanted to keep things light and easy for the times he was home. With Callie, everything was different. She couldn’t pretend. Rebecca didn’t want to.

Still, she was making herself more vulnerable. She’d accepted the role of the woman who’d managed it all, two kids, the household, and the job, flawlessly, mostly on her own. Learning how to share wasn’t easy.

She stretched, wishing she could just snuggle under the covers and stay here all day. Instead, Rebecca got up and went to join her lover and daughters, hoping that there would be coffee.

The scenery—Callie, Dina, and Maggie sharing a pizza, the girls talking—made her smile. Before she’d left David, before there was even the idea, Dina and Maggie hadn’t gotten along very well. It seemed like the divorce had gotten them closer together instead of further apart, and for that, Rebecca was grateful.

They all needed a bit of stability right now, but especially Maggie. She needed to feel safe again.

Callie got up to pour a mug of steaming coffee and set it on the table. Rebecca accepted it with a grateful smile. She was reminded of something she’d need to take care of. Later.

For the moment, she just wanted to stay here and enjoy a moment with the people she loved, nothing and no one intruding on them.

Maggie had not left her side since this morning. Rebecca certainly didn’t mind, even though Maggie’s excited chatter was a sign that she was still working through what had happened.

She nearly squealed when Rebecca announced they were going to make Christmas cookies. Dina’s reaction was an indulgent smile. It seemed like she had been doing a lot of growing up in the past days. Rebecca wasn’t too sure whether she found that comforting or disturbing. In any case, there were much more disturbing things, and she wanted to forget about them for a while. Callie retreated to her own office to write. Even though this was a different home, a different kitchen, it almost felt like the old times.

She hadn’t done a lot of baking in the past season, Rebecca realized, when the familiar scents filled the kitchen.
There’s your therapy
. All of her troubles with people she’d rather see leave Autumn Leaves sooner than later, seemed like a distant nightmare.

She hoped they would fade away for real.

At least, Maggie seemed to have remained oblivious to the hateful words Craig had thrown at Rebecca. She found that she couldn’t even find it in herself to hate him, not like Beckett and Weller. Rebecca pitied him.

“Hey. It smells so good, I couldn’t stand to stay away.”

Callie stood in the doorway, a small, tired smile on her face.

“Almost done. We’ll clean all of it up, of course.”

“It’s okay. Can I borrow you for a minute?”

Rebecca only hoped she wasn’t in for more bad news. Callie seemed to have something on her mind. When they stood in the hallway, she just stepped forward and wrapped her arms around Rebecca.

“It’s okay. Sorry I’ve been freaking. This was…bad,” Rebecca said for the lack of a better term. She held on tight, then brushed her fingers over Callie’s hair.

“It was.” Callie’s voice was slightly muffled. “There’s just something I wanted to tell you. Nicole says she’s leaving town, taking the last flight tonight.”

“Good for her,” Rebecca said, not sure what to make of the news. “She’s been saying a lot of things. Are you sure it’s for real?”

“I think so. She wants to say good-bye.”

“You want to go?”

After the past two days or so, Rebecca thought that nothing could shake her anymore. Maybe she’d been delusional. She still felt on edge, the need to make a decision while things kept spiraling out of her control. Rebecca had never been someone to just sit it out. This time though, she wasn’t sure what the right direction was. Nicole scared her. Father Reynolds did too. She couldn’t back down with either of them though.

Callie nodded.

You will come back though?
Rebecca didn’t ask. Instead she went to the coat rack and picked up her purse, searching through it until she found the colorful leaflet. She tore it in two and walked into the living room where she tossed it into the fireplace. They both watched as the paper curled and turned to ashes.

“She lied to you,” Rebecca said. “I just put it there and I forgot. Next thing I know my ex-brother-in-law turns into a maniac who kidnaps my daughter. I never had any intention to call that therapist, but if you believe her…”

“I don’t. I just want to see her get on that plane.”

“What if she decides to come back?” Rebecca was aware that it was hazardous to have this conversation now when nerves were still raw, hers, Callie’s.

“She won’t. Nicole doesn’t like to lose.”

Rebecca didn’t answer, but stared into the flames where there was nothing visible of the offensive item anymore.

“Just this, and she’s going to be out of our lives.”

The temptation to say something overtly dramatic was strong. Rebecca doubted that someone like Nicole would give up because of distance. Callie said earlier she’d have to be in New York from time to time, and there was nothing that could stop Nicole from showing up, time after time, unless charges were filed.

“I’d prefer it if we could all stay home tonight,” she said calmly. “It’s been a horrible few days, and honestly, I don’t care about her feelings. I just want to know that everyone is safe.”

Callie studied her for a long time before she said, “Okay.”

“Just like that, ‘okay’?” Rebecca hadn’t expected her to comply.

“Yes, just like that. I realize whatever I do, and whatever I call it, it’s probably not closure to her. You’re right. I shouldn’t give her reason to think I’d change my mind, ever. Maybe it’s true, that I’ve been doing that. Guilty as charged.”

“No. You just tried the best you could.”

“It’s been so damn hard.” Callie shook her head. “Everybody tried to make me doubt—”

“I know.”

Rebecca leaned forward to kiss her, very softly.

“I know what that feels like. Please, don’t go. Just let us spend a nice quiet evening with the girls. Pretend it’s a holiday, and we don’t have to answer to anyone.”

“That would be so nice,” Callie whispered. “Except…”

“Except?”

“I’m sorry, I forgot to tell you earlier. Asha is coming over. She called this morning.”

“Well,” Rebecca said with a half-hearted smile, “I have to admit of all your exes, I like her the best.”

“Oh, come on, you make it sound like there are dozens!”

They hadn’t had a lot to laugh about lately. Rebecca decided she wanted to take it as a good sign that this was changing.

In the end, Callie had gone out anyway to get some ingredients for their dinner. What could happen in a few minutes? Rebecca gave herself the answer as she stood by the window, knowing that knot in her stomach wouldn’t go away until Callie returned.

Nearly seventeen years ago, she and David had wanted to build a life in Autumn Leaves, because it had seemed like a safe place for their children to grow up. Now she was scared for a grown woman to go to the grocery store a few blocks away?

It was just her luck that Asha arrived before Callie’s return. True, Rebecca had begun to see a tentative ally in her which was a long way from how they’d first met. However, Asha, even though she wasn’t doing it on purpose, never failed to make her feel like the boring, suburban housewife.

“Wow,” she said, inhaling deeply as she stepped inside. “Callie is so lucky. I have yet to meet a woman who can cook. Her included, as you might have found out.”

“You’re welcome,” Rebecca said, and it didn’t sound the least bit ironic. “There are cookies if you like.”

“Oh, sure, I’d love to. Callie isn’t here?”

“She said you were coming, but we didn’t know exactly when. She went to get some things for dinner.”

Asha flashed her a bright smile. “I love you guys, you know that, right? So…is there anything you have for me?”

“Me?” Rebecca asked, wondering if she was possibly still asleep.

“Well, yeah. You have some insights. Callie says she’s working on a new idea. I just want to make sure there’s no surprise of the kind like last time.”

Callie had some dispute with Asha a few months ago about the direction in which she’d wanted to take her series. Only Rebecca had known that what Callie had been describing came close to her own traumatic experiences.

“You need to ask her when she’s here,” Rebecca said, wondering if she should know more, and why she didn’t.

“I heard Nicole made an appearance. That must have stirred up some bad…sh…things.” Asha caught herself on the last word.

“You know her?”

“I saw her the first time when you did, but I know what the bitch did,” Asha said darkly. “Might not be as bad as what happened here, but I’m sure it was enough to remind Callie. I’ve known Callie for a long time,” she continued when the surprise must have shown on Rebecca’s face. “I knew she wasn’t nearly killing her character because of a fleeting idea. Not in the way it was written. Don’t worry, Rebecca. I’m not asking you to tell me. In fact, I can tell from your silence that it’s true. I’m glad she’s with you now.”

“Why?”

“Because you’re not crazy?” Asha chuckled. “Well, not that I am, no worries. It’s just with you…I think she’s found something that she’s been looking for all her life. A place to feel safe enough to stay. I’m not just talking this house.”

“Thank you,” Rebecca said, finding it very warm in the room all of a sudden. Her cheeks were burning.

“You’re welcome. Now what did you say about cookies?”

They spent an agreeable evening with Asha, and as time proceeded, Rebecca realized that many of her earlier worries had been blown out of proportion. Maybe her own story wasn’t that spectacular after all, minus the coming out to almost the whole congregation. She still had a lot of clichés to clear from her mind, but neither Callie nor Asha seemed to think she was in a place where she didn’t belong.

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