Winter Fire (32 page)

“I've been amply repaid for that.”

“Ute, Conner, come with me,” Hunter said. “We're only in the way here.”

Sarah started to object, then shrugged.

“Sis?”

“Go with Ute and Hunter,” she said to Conner. “I won't be far behind you.”

“I'll put your saddle on one of the mules,” Hunter said. “But if you need it, my brother is a fool.”

She watched the three men file out, leaving her alone with the man she loved.

A man who didn't love her.

“What in hell are you thinking about?” Case asked bluntly.

“I'm going to buy land and raise horses. In California, I think. Perhaps Oregon.”

“You're not making sense.”

“It makes perfect sense to me. I like ranching.”

He made an impatient, chopping gesture.

“You know what I mean,” he said. “You have the start of a good ranch here. If you want to raise horses, Cricket is as fine a stud as you'll find west of the Mississippi.”

Sarah took a hidden breath and confronted what she had hoped to avoid.

Damn Hunter anyway
, she thought wearily.
What business is it of his whether Case and I have a shouting match before we part?

“Lost River ranch isn't mine,” she said.

“Half of it—”

“—belongs to you,” she interrupted. “The other half belongs to Conner.”

“What!”

Under other circumstances, the look of shock on Case's often expressionless face would have amused Sarah. Now it simply was painful.

“I gave Conner half the ranch after he—after Hal died,” she said.

“You knew he killed your husband?”

Sarah's eyelids flinched.

“I knew only one of them came back,” she said. “I thank God every day that it was Conner who survived.”

“Hal was trying to pistol-whip him. Conner fought back. The gun went off. It was an accident.”

She swayed and took a broken breath.

“Thank you,” she whispered. “I always hoped my brother didn't kill for me. But, God help me, I was so grateful…”

Case stepped forward and gripped Sarah's shoulders, holding her as though he was afraid she would fall.

“Forget this nonsense about leaving,” he said roughly. “Conner and I will settle for a third of the ranch each.”

“No.”

He blinked, then looked at her through narrowed, gray-green eyes.

The eyes that met his were the color of storm clouds. If she had looked weak a moment before, she no longer did.

“Why not?” he asked. “Conner would be the first to offer.”

“Just what kind of future did you have in mind?” she asked sharply. “All the, uh,
comforts
of home and none of the responsibility?”

A dull red appeared on Case's cheekbones above his beard. He let go of her and stepped away as though he had been burned.

“I didn't mean it that way,” he said.

“What did you mean?”

He raked his fingers through his hair in a gesture of frustration that made Sarah's heart turn over with a bittersweet combination of love and loss.

But nothing of her feelings showed on her face.

“I don't want you to leave,” he said.

“Put what you want in one hand and spit in the other and see which fills up first,” she suggested ironically.

“
Damnation
. You aren't listening to me!”

“That's because you aren't thinking very clearly.”

“And you are?” he retorted.

“Yes. You don't want marriage, because marriage means children.”

His breath came in hard.

“You don't want an affair,” she continued, “because sooner or later I'll get pregnant.”

Case went still.

“We can't just pretend we were never lovers,” she said. “At least I can't. What you give to me is…the flight of a hawk. I couldn't bear being so close to that kind of ecstasy and yet having it always beyond my reach.”

“Sarah,” he whispered.

Hoping against hope, she waited.

He said no more.

Nor did he need to. The words he had once said were burned in her memory:
I don't have love left in me. I don't want it. I'll never again love anything that can die
.

“Now you understand why I can't stay,” she said, turning away. “I can live with not being loved by you, but I
couldn't bear your hatred. Tell Hunter I'm ready to leave right now.”

“To hell with Hunter,” he said curtly. “What about Conner?”

“You were right about him. He doesn't want to go back East to school.”

Case hissed a bitter word between his teeth. “That's not what I meant.”

“My brother won't be surprised,” Sarah said. “He knows you don't love me.”

“I was talking about the fact that Conner is still a boy,” he said tightly. “He needs you.”

“He isn't a boy. You know that better than I do. You were the one to point it out to me. What he needs is less apron strings, not more. Which you also pointed out to me, as I recall.”

“You're trying to trap me,” he said savagely.

“No. I'm letting you go.”

Sarah turned back and opened her hands as though to show Case that there was nothing to hold him.

Yet his eyes were wild.

The eyes of a captive hawk.

“Fly away,” she whispered. “You're free.”

There was another harsh word, another raking of fingers through thick black hair.

Then he spun around and yanked open the cabin door.

“Do what you like,” he said. “It doesn't matter to me.”

The door slammed shut behind him.

Hunter, Ute, and Conner were standing about a hundred feet away. The sky on the western horizon was the pale yellow of winter butter.

Overhead it was a dark, dark blue that was as cold and empty as Case felt.

Conner started to say something as Case stalked by.

“Later,” Hunter said clearly. “Right now my brother
is looking for a fight. Let him take it out on himself. He's the one who has it coming.”

Case spun toward Hunter. “Just what does that mean?”

“I'll tell you the same thing you told me a few months back. Go talk to your horse's butt. It has more sense than you do.”

“That's more sense than all of you put together have,” Case snarled.

Hunter smiled.

Case took an eager, gliding step toward his brother, then stopped.

“That's right,” Hunter said, nodding. “Hammering on me won't change anything. Hell's fire, if I thought a good thumping would change you, we'd be rolling around in the dirt right now. But it won't.”

The only answer Case gave was a whistle whose shrill edge sliced the night. A few moments later Cricket trotted up.

He didn't bother with a saddle or a bridle. He simply swung up on the horse and rode off into the descending night.

Around him cottonwoods lifted their bare branches, embracing the icy grip of winter. The pattern of pure black traced against the darkening sky was as beautiful as a hawk soaring.

The air was cold, clean, infused with time and distance and silence. Beyond the river, cliffs rose in ebony ranks, shouldering the increasing night with massive ease.

Half of this is mine
, Case thought.

He waited, but no pleasure came from the knowledge that he owned half of the wild land. The cost of possessing it was higher than he had guessed.

Sarah loved the land as much as he did. Her words kept echoing through his mind.

Lost River ranch is all I want of the world. Being here suits me all the way to my soul
.

Yet she was leaving it.

Because of him.

Blindly Case rode farther into the night. Time lost all meaning. Only he was alive. He and the night.

He and the night and a torment he could neither endure nor ignore.

Moonlight slid along the surface of Lost River in silver swirls that reminded him of Sarah's eyes, mystery and light combined. The liquid murmur of the water was like her hushed laughter when they lay together in the warm, tangled aftermath of passion.

He would die remembering her soft confession whispered against the very flesh she had once feared.

I love you, Case
.

Emotion splintered through him, shaking him.

No
, he thought harshly.
I can't go through it again, the love and the loss. That's what pain is for, to teach you how to avoid more pain in the future
.

But not for Sarah. Pain, like pleasure, was for her simply part of being alive.

Sarah, who was a fire in the center of his icy life. Without her there would be no fire.

Only winter.

Anguish twisted inside Case, a pain so deep that he couldn't breathe. It was like being pulled apart.

No!

This can't be. It simply can't be!

Yet it was.

The agony was a living thing inside him, devouring him. He hadn't felt such torment since he rocked his dead niece in his arms and knew that nothing within his power could change what had happened.

He hadn't wept then.

He wept now.

 

Sarah didn't want to wake up. Being awake meant that it was morning, and morning meant that she would be on the trail, riding away from everything she loved.

She whimpered and moved restlessly, trying to evade the dawn that even in her sleep she knew must come.

Tender kisses soothed her struggles. Strong arms held her, gentling her. Warmth radiated through her as though from a nearby fire.

Sighing, she reached out for the dream she needed more than her own heartbeat. She wrapped the heat around her like a blanket against the approaching chill of dawn.

The tip of a warm tongue traced her lips. She smiled and savored the sensual dream.

Just a dream
.

A dream of sunlight caressing me. Sunlight and
—

“Case!”

Sarah sat bolt upright. The oil lamp was still burning on the table, but the fire had gone out.

She was naked, which only added to her confusion.

“I fell asleep sitting at the table,” she said, dazed.

A long arm snaked out of the blankets and pulled her back into the warmth.

“I carried you to bed,” he whispered.

He pulled her against his body. Skin smoothed over skin. Pleasure was a sweet fire shivering through her.

“I was dressed,” she said, still trying to understand.

“I undressed you.”

Teeth nibbled delicately at her earlobe. Her breath caught and her thoughts scattered.

“I'm still dreaming,” she whispered.

It explained everything.

He laughed and kissed the pulse beating in her neck. The caresses continued down her neck to her breasts. So did the soft laughter.

“Now I know I'm dreaming,” she said sleepily.

“Why?”

“You only laugh in my dreams.”

“You'll get used to it.”

He kissed the tip of first one breast, then the other.
Smiling, he watched her change with each brushing caress of his beard.

Eyes closed, she stretched languidly, lifting herself against his smile. Then she sighed and gave herself completely to the wonderful dream.

“Sarah?”

“Don't wake me up. I don't ever want to wake up.”

Long, strong fingers slid down her belly and traced the soft skin between her thighs.

“Some things are better when you're awake,” he said.

Her only answer was a movement that opened her to his touch. He caressed her hot, sleek flesh. Her answering passion licked over him like molten silver.

His breath stopped. Then he lowered himself between her legs and took her with deep certainty, giving himself in turn. He moved unhurriedly, thoroughly. With dreamlike slowness the silky contractions began in her and spread to him, undoing him completely.

It was a long time before Case had enough breath to speak.

“We keep this up,” he whispered, “and you're going to get pregnant for sure.”

Eyes closed, Sarah shook her head languidly, clinging to the wonderful dream.

“Can't,” she murmured.

“Why not?”

“Already am.”

“
What?
”

Her eyes flew open. “Oh, God. It really wasn't a dream, was it?”

He stared at her.

“Are you sure?” he demanded.

“Almost. I'm so darned sleepy all the time, just like my mother was.”

A long shudder racked Case's strong body. Slowly he lowered his face to her breasts.

Her heart turned over when she felt the heat of his tears and his laughter combined.

“You make me whole,” he said huskily.

She went still. Suddenly she slid her fingers into his hair and lifted his head until she could see his eyes.

“What did you say?” she whispered.

He smiled.

Sudden tears starred her long eyelashes and made her eyes a silver mystery.

“I thought it was just the land calling to me, sinking into me,” he said. “But it was you. It was always you. A fire in winter burning just for me.”

“Case,” she whispered.

He bent and brushed his lips over hers.

“I love you, Sarah. And the only place you're going tomorrow is to the nearest preacher.”

She kissed him.

“No arguments?” he asked.

“Why would I argue with the man I love? Especially when he's making sense for once.”

Smiling, Case drew Sarah close and felt her love in the warmth of her lips against his chest.

That was the way he fell asleep.

Smiling.

E
mily Jane
Maxwell was born in autumn, when cottonwood leaves turned the color of candle flames against the windswept sky. Case fashioned her cradle from the same golden wood he had cut to build a new house for his growing family. Emily's first memory was of her father's laughter as he lifted her toward the ceiling and spun her gently around.

In the years that followed, more children came to Case and Sarah. Two more girls with deft hands and sharp tongues. Three tall boys who took endless delight in alternately teasing and protecting their sisters.

Conner left his nieces and nephews long enough to get the education that Sarah had wanted for him. He returned to Lost River ranch with a bride. In time the valley was filled with the quick arguments and ringing laughter of more children.

Through all the natural sorrows and joys of living, Case and Sarah's love increased. Their union was a fire in all seasons, gentle and fierce, intense and serene, a radiance that warmed and gave life to everything it touched.