Authors: Robin Kaye
Looking in the mirror, Toni caught Kate’s eye. Hunter’s mother was a godsend. Calm and collected, Kate had corralled everyone without much fuss and had taken charge—even managing the impossible. She sent Clarissa on an errand to make sure Hunter and the guys had received their boutonnieres.
The hair lady spun Toni’s chair around and held up a mirror to show her the back, where seed pearls had somehow been woven throughout. She looked almost as good from the back as she did from the front. “Thank you. It’s perfect.”
The woman gathered her implements of torture, and Gina, a five-foot stick of dynamite, showed her out.
Kate smiled that calming smile of hers, and Toni felt her anxiety decrease. Toni knew where Hunter got both his smile and his calming presence.
Kate took a velvet roll out of her bag and set it on the table before untying it. “Now I don’t want to step on your mother’s toes, but since she hadn’t expected to attend your wedding, Hunter asked me to make sure you didn’t miss out on any important bridal customs. Feel free to use them or not. It’s up to you.”
She pulled a black satin ribbon from the roll and held something in her hand. “For something old, this cameo was my grandmother’s. I thought we could slide the ribbon through the back, and you could wear it as a choker. The seed pearls surrounding it go beautifully with your tiara. It’s yours if you want it.”
“Kate, thanks, but I can’t—”
“Of course you can. You’re part of the family now. This is something you’ll be able to pass down to your children someday. I want you to have it and wear it in good health.” Kate tied the ribbon around Toni’s neck. The ivory cameo was heavier than she expected. Toni’s fingers ran over the relief of the woman’s face carved there, feeling the smoothness of the pearls. She’d been reaching for her collar ever since she’d taken it off to do the makeup. Now she had something to worry if she needed it. She looked in the mirror and hardly recognized herself.
Toni turned and hugged Kate. “Thank you so much. I’ll treasure it.”
Kate kissed her cheek. “You’re welcome. Your dress is new, so we have that covered.”
Gina pulled a light blue lace handkerchief out of the bag and pressed it into Toni’s clammy hand. “Here’s your something blue. If you start crying, it’s going to have smears of black mascara all over it, and then we’re going to have to redo your makeup. So suck it up, and don’t cry.” She patted her shoulder awkwardly, sniffed, and turned away.
“Thanks, Gina. I’ll be fine.”
Karma held both hands behind her back. “I have the something borrowed. You have your choice of my absolute favorite vintage, peace sign mood ring.” She held out her open hand, and sure enough, there was a large brass ring with a peace sign over the translucent stone. “Or…” She held out an opened blue velvet jewelry box. “The diamond earrings and bracelet that Gramps gave me when I graduated from college. So… which will it be?”
Kate shook her head. “Karma.”
“Mom wants you to go with the diamonds, but personally, I think the mood ring would be a whole lot more fun.” She waggled her eyebrows. “You can always borrow both.”
Kate took the box. “Pay no attention to Karma. The bracelet and earrings will look lovely with your engagement ring. James has a sixpence for your shoe, but he’s not going to join us until we get you into that beautiful wedding dress of yours.”
Toni took a deep breath. “I guess it’s about time, huh?” She looked out the window and wondered where in this huge hotel Hunter was. She’d only seen him a few hours ago, but she missed him. They’d been texting each other before her mother took her phone away, claiming it was bad luck. What was she, in high school? He was probably worried about her.
Gina and Karma brought the dress out, and Toni couldn’t help but smile. Hunter was going to swallow his tongue when he saw it. It was the most beautiful dress she’d ever seen. She stepped into the strapless satin gown and pulled up the bodice, being careful not to wrinkle the black-trimmed, tailored box pleat. She smoothed down the fitted bodice and admired the simple, straight lines, while Kate zipped the back, which fell just under her shoulder blades. The back was adorned with a thin, black satin bow that hung right over the matching accent stripe running from the box pleat to hem. It was classy, elegant, understated, yet still, her.
A hush fell over the entire room, which was saying something, because when Karma, Gina, and Kate got going, there was never a dull moment. Kate dabbed at her eyes. “You look so beautiful.”
A knock at the door disturbed the quiet, and Karma ran over to open it. James stepped in and gasped. Of course, he didn’t come alone. He brought two of the photographers Bianca had sent to take pictures for the wedding album.
James smiled and pulled Toni in for a hug. “You look simply stunning, my love. I see my friend Marcello took good care of you.”
Toni spun around. “He did. Thanks for calling him for me. The dress is perfect.”
“Yes, it is. Hunter is a very lucky man.”
“No, I think I got the best part of the bargain, this time at least.”
James directed the photographers to do the bride and bridesmaids shots.
Toni was antsy. She just wanted to see Hunter, and she was beginning to worry about her mother. She’d been gone awhile. “Does anyone know where Clarissa is?”
James smiled. “Hunter’s grandfather dragged her out of the guys’ suite. Last I heard he was taking her to the bar.”
“Oh God.”
“I almost forgot. Sit down.” James pulled a chair around and held it for her before he got down on his knee and unzipped Toni’s wedding sandal. “Jimmy Choo? Very nice.”
Toni admired the other shoe. “Aren’t they gorgeous? They match the dress and were forty percent off—I couldn’t pass them up.”
“I got you a little something else—just in case you don’t have one.”
“What’s that?”
James pulled a black lace, skull-and-crossbones garter from his pocket.
Toni threw her head back and laughed. “Where in the world did you find that?”
James slid it onto her leg, hamming it up for the cameras. “Ketchum, who’d of thunk? You know, that place is really growing on me.”
“Yeah, I love it there too.” She stood up and walked a few steps. “That coin is going to hurt.”
“Doll, you’re wearing five-inch heels. Your feet are going to kill you regardless. Are you ready to go?” James held out his arm, and Toni slid hers through.
Toni worried the cameo, before Karma handed her the bouquet of calla lilies. “Yes, I’m as ready as I’ll ever be.”
***
Hunter sat in the limo with Ben and his brothers, tugging on his collar. “Fisher, do you have the rings?”
Fisher patted his pockets. “Damn, I knew I was forgetting something.”
Trapper reached over and smacked the back of Fisher’s head. “Give it a break, Fisher. Hunter’s about ready to stroke out.”
Ben pulled the ring box out of his pocket. “Don’t worry, cousin. I’ve got your back. And remember, first weddings are always nerve-wracking.”
The guys all turned to look at him.
“What? I was married twice…”
Trapper sat forward. “Yeah, to the same woman.”
“The second time is the charm, and the wedding night’s an added bonus.”
The limo slowed and stopped at the curb. Hunter caught sight of the marquee:
Toni
and
Hunter
Forever
. “Nice touch.”
Fisher reached for the door. “It was part of the package. It’s deluxe.”
As soon as the driver opened the door, a woman shoved her face in with a big microphone. “Joan Rivers here. Which one of you gorgeous men is the groom?”
Hunter blinked at the flash of lights in his eyes. “Son of a bitch. Fisher, if I live through this wedding, you won’t.”
Trapper turned to Fisher. “What the hell have you done?”
“Relax. It’s the videographer. It’s part of the package.”
“Does it include cement shoes?” Planting his feet on the red carpet, Hunter looked up at the marquee once more. Lasting Impressions. “I’m gonna kill him.” Hunter turned and picked Fisher up by the lapels. “How could you?”
“What? Trapper gave me the number. He said he was a stand-up guy.”
Hunter looked around for Trapper, only to find him further up the red carpet with one arm around a Cher impersonator having his picture taken.
Ben stood beside Hunter, tossing his keys. “Just go with the flow. It’s Vegas, baby.”
Hunter released Fisher and straightened his jacket.
“Watch the threads, Bro.” Fisher smoothed his lapels.
Hunter made a beeline for the door. He needed to check out the rest of this nightmare before Toni arrived. “Who’s in charge here?”
Rodney Dangerfield stepped up to him. “That would be me.” He adjusted his tie and rolled his neck. “I don’t get no respect. What do I look like? A funeral director? No wait. That’s my other gig. Here’s my card. From the look of things, you might be needing it later.”
Hunter turned to find Trapper extending his hand to old Rodney.
“Larry, good to see you. This is my brother, Hunter—the groom.”
“He doesn’t look too happy. I charge extra for shotgun weddings—bullets are complimentary.”
Fisher walked up to them. “Did you get a load of Marilyn? All she’s missing is the grate. With any luck the wind will pick up.” Fisher spun around. “Hey, is that Chaka Khan?”
Hunter couldn’t believe that this is where he was getting married. He just prayed Toni wouldn’t call the whole thing off and catch the first flight back to New York. He felt sick. What else could happen?
A pink Cadillac convertible came to a screeching halt in front of the red carpet, and his heart sank as Elvis jumped out to get the passenger door. He watched as Gramps and Clarissa were accosted by Joan and Melissa Rivers.
Teetering on her heels, Clarissa pointed to the marquee. “Look Joe, their names are in lights!”
“This must be the right place then.” Grampa smiled at the Rivers impersonators and looked over at Fisher. “You set this up boy? On your own?”
“Um, yeah.”
“Good job. You make me proud.”
Hunter wondered how many bourbons Gramps put away.
Gramps took one look at Hunter and smiled. “I had nothing to do with it, but that don’t mean I won’t enjoy it. Nice touch with the Rat Pack.”
Hunter looked behind him to find Frank, Dean, and Sammy, acting as ushers. Dean extended his arm to Clarissa, humming, “Everybody Loves Somebody Sometime.” Then he asked, “Bride or groom?”
“I’m the mother of the bride,” Clarissa said with a hiccup.
Hunter rubbed his forehead when he heard Dean crooning his way down the aisle.
Ben slapped Hunter on the shoulder. “Let’s get you inside before your bride arrives.”
Hunter groaned and wondered if his best man was going to survive to see the wedding.
Fisher walked up to him and stuffed his hands in his pockets. “Don’t worry. Trapper and I will wait out on the red carpet and smooth things over with the ladies.”
Ben laughed. “Gina’s gonna love this.”
Hunter handed Ben Mr. Dangerfield’s card. “Here. You can save this for wedding number three. I won’t be needing it again.”
***
When Karma caught a glimpse of Joan Rivers, she started to laugh. “Mom, brace yourself.”
Kate looked out the window. “Oh, my.”
Trapper and Fisher stood on the red carpet looking very pleased with themselves. Karma opened the door, took in the scene, and zeroed in on her brothers. “You are in so much trouble. It’s a shame I didn’t have anything to do with it.” She tossed them a wicked smile and headed straight for George Clooney. “Thanks. I owe you one.”
Gina got out of the car. “Ay! Carmamba!” She turned to Kate. “I don’t think this is quite what you expected.”
Kate shook her head. “Fisher Michael Kincaid, if I didn’t know you better, I’d swear Trapper wasn’t involved.”
Trapper rocked back on his heels. “It’s all in who you know.” He turned to Fisher. “Step up, baby Brother. It’s your time to shine.”
Gina interrupted. “Mom, you take it from here. I see Fabio.”
Fisher shook his head. “I always wondered about that girl’s taste, marrying Ben and all. He’s gonna be pissed once he sees the film of his wife and that Fabio guy. Look, she’s running her hand down his chest.”
Karma stood back with George, who was just too sweet for words, as Trapper escorted their mom to Frank Sinatra. “You take it from here.”
Frank winked. “My pleasure.”
As the door to the chapel opened, Karma could swear she heard “Danke Schöen.” She tried not to gag.
She turned to Fisher. “You better get inside and calm Hunter down. I’ll stay out here and try to explain this to Toni. You owe me sooo big.”
***
Toni sat in the back of the limo holding James’s hand. “Do you even know where this place is?”
“No. Fisher made all the arrangements. He said he wanted to surprise you.”
When the limo stopped she saw her name in lights. “He succeeded.”
The car door was yanked open, and a microphone was shoved in her face. “You’ve gotta be the bride. Should you be wearing white?”
Toni laughed at the Joan Rivers look-alike. “Probably not, but what the heck, you only get married once, right?”
Joan Rivers laughed. “Toni, I like you all ready.”
James handed Toni out of the limo as Melissa Rivers described Toni’s dress in detail for the camera. He walked her toward the chapel. “Toni, you’re the daughter I never had. Be happy.”
“I am.”
“Are you ready?”
“As ready as I’ll ever be. These shoes are killing me.”
“Then let’s get this show on the road.”
Karma waited at the door for them. “Toni, I had nothing to do with this. I’m so sorry.”
“Why? I think it’s great. Where is Hunter?”
“He’s in the chapel praying you don’t change your mind. Can we wait out here for a few more minutes? It’s fun watching him squirm.”
Toni chuckled. “You should have seen him when he proposed.”
James cleared his throat. “Come on. Let’s put the poor guy out of his misery.”
Karma snuck in through the doors and cued the music. Toni expected the wedding march. When the doors flew open she saw Diana Ross in a gold sequin gown.